Breaking news: Orange County is in a state of emergency.
Authorities were called to a destructive scene in Fountain Valley, where the majority of an apartment complex now lays in ruins. Witnesses say they felt the building quake before the walls collapsed, and are claiming a spiderlike monster emerged, responsible for the damage. No casualties have been reported, and the wounded are being treated.
Authorized personnel are following its path. So far several cars have been trampled, a newly renovated Best Buy has been destroyed, and the damage toll is steadily rising. We advise citizens to be on the look out.
[Interview with an angry soccer mom who had her van stomped on, and in the background, the homeless man from the Park Explosion Incident wearing a pair of black glittery flats.]