I'm so relieved. I had no idea what your reaction would be to his letter. Of course I'm not going to contact him again. I have absolutely no reason to. I'm sure he'll never write me again, but if he ever does, you'll be the first (well, second really, as I'd know first) to know. But I'm sure there will be no need for you to give him a piece of your mind. I like your mind just as it is, thanks. All pieces of it (as well as the rest of you) are mine and I refuse to let him have any.
I know this whole situation upsets you. Just the fact that a teacher was carrying on like that with students would be bad enough, but the fact that one of said students was me makes it even worse for you, I'm sure. I know you hate him and think he's a pervert and I know what he did was totally wrong, I really do. But I have to admit that I don't feel like a victim and I certainly don't blame myself for anything. I wanted this, however inappropriate it was. I wanted it, I sought it out and I got it. You of all people know how determined I am once I want something. He made me feel the way girls should have made me feel, and that's mostly what made him so irresistible. I finally felt the things that James had been whining about for so long.
Yes, I know he shouldn't have allowed it to happen, but it did and I honestly can't say I'm sorry about it. I'm sorry he's got this problem and I'm sorry this is causing us trouble, but I'm not sorry that I did what I did. That was the first time I ever realised who I am and what I really wanted. I know I'm thoroughly horrifying you at the moment. I would be horrified as well if this had been against my will, but that was totally not the case. He shouldn't have allowed it, I know. There's no excuse for that. I agree that it's not normal for an adult to be attracted to a fourteen year old; I'm not defending his actions. It would have been so much easier (and legal) if I hadn't been so thick and could have just fallen for you then instead.
I'm sure he's not teaching anymore, and as long as he doesn't do it again, I don't think he should be condemned. A lot of people might have a problem with the things we do too (not that I'm in any way comparing what we do to an adult frolicking with a minor, I can hear you getting all worked up....) and call us wrong....oh balls, I have no idea where I can go with this that will end up sounding right. He's a horrid pervert and should be stoned.
By relationship I simply meant two people who know each other. Now I must do my Remus impression (hold on while I slip on my sweater vest and exasperated look)....your sacred dictionary defines relationship as "a state of affairs existing between those having dealings". I would call classes and detentions dealings, wouldn't you? And yes, I would say you do have a (pardon my dry heave) relationship with Regulus based simply on the fact that you attend the same school. And there is no reason to owl him to ask why he blew you off (pun not even acknowledged) because you both talked about it afterward and the decision was mutual. You got your closure, (even though now it's obvious he wanted your opening) so you could put the whole thing to rest. I couldn't. I had to know exactly what the reason was. It was a big deal in my life at the time and I couldn't just leave it it hanging there with unanswered questions. My insatiable curiosity is part of what you love about me and you know it. Now I have my answers and I can put this to rest too.
Your reassurances mean the world to me, and you're the only one I need to hear them from. Now I realise it was more about the way it ended than about my petty fears of inadequacy. I know what we have is so much better than anything else either of us have ever experienced before. Oh, and me taking you down to the dungeons had NOTHING to do with him. Don't be daft. I just wanted you starkers up against the stone. Just something so deliciously naughty about dungeon sex. In fact, I can't wait to go down there and take you on your hands and knees when we're more...you know....experienced. He never even crosses my mind when I'm with you.
I'm not 'acting' back to normal, I AM back to normal. I just need you to let this one go so we can get on with the good stuff. Will it help if I volunteer to be the one who gets buggered? I mean, I am the woman and all, I may as well play the part. I'm not doing it just because of that either. I really want to and I'm not scared, no wine required. Merlin, I can't wait to have you inside me, I don't care if it hurts (um, the book doesn't mention exactly how much it hurts at first, does it?) Did you ever get those 'supplies' you mentioned? I'm assuming it involves something to make us all slippery, right? Seems like that would be necessary. Too bad our bums don't take care of that on their own like the birds' equipment does, eh?
While we're talking about sex, exactly how slutty was your past? Did you just embellish because you were pissed at me? I don't want names, just a rough estimate, and I swear I won't get mad. I should send them all fruit baskets actually, for giving you all of that practice. It's a good thing one of us knew what they were doing when we first got together. I've learned so much from you. You are undoubtedly the sexiest teacher I've ever had. I suppose I'll allow you to teach Prongs to kiss. You're right, you'd be much better at it than I. But the second he starts to look like he's enjoying it, class is OVER.
I can't believe I forgot to tell you about our shopping trip the last day at the beach! We found this store that had all sorts of leather trousers and things like that in the window, so we went in. When we walked in, the store was mostly clothes, but they had all sorts of other leather things too. Leather PANTS, Moony! Seems that might chafe a bit, eh? Even collars and leashes! What the bloody hell kind of store sells things like that for people? And behind the counter! You should have seen the things back there. All sorts of bright coloured willies and things called 'butt plugs'....it was a bit frightening.
The clerk came round and asked if we needed help. I told him I wanted some leather trousers and he looked me up and down and said, "Oh yes, you definitely do. I know the perfect ones." He led me over to this rack of them and picked a pair out. He was right, they were spiffing. The leather was black and buttery soft. You won't believe it, Moony, but instead of a button and zipper, they lace up the front like trainers!! I went to try them on, assuring him I didn't need any help even though he really wanted to help me (I made sure the door was securely locked, believe me). They were absolutely smashing! They were more of that 'hip-hugger' muggle style, but Merlin, they were even lower! The top of my short and curlies nearly shows! There was no mirror in the try on room, so I had to go out into the store to look at them.
The clerk practically squealed when he saw me. He said my laces weren't tied right and before I could stop him, the crazy bastard untied them and started loosening them up again. Does the beach make all muggles insane? I grabbed the laces out of his hands and yelled, "Where's my BOYFRIEND??? I really need to get his opinion." I looked round desperately for James. You should have seen the look on his face when I came running up to him shirtless and holding my untied trousers in my hands. It was priceless. I can appreciate that now that I'm not running from molestation. I quietly begged him to pretend he was my boyfriend and I told him about the clerk. He didn't believe me, but when he saw the cheeky tosser following me over to him, he played along. I owe him big. He was brilliant, Moony, you should have seen him. I was facing him, because I was just finishing up whispering about my situation. When he saw cheeky tosser approaching he put his arms around me and said really loudly and awkwardly, "CAN'T WAIT TO GET YOU OUT OF THESE LATER, YOU SEXY BEAST" and he rubbed my arse!! It was classic. I started cracking up and had to bury my head in his neck (right next to those stunning shoulders, are you jealous?) so cheeky tosser wouldn't hear me.
James whispered that he turned round and went back behind the counter after our display. I went to kiss him, I was so grateful, but he put his hand over my mouth and said, "If you ever try to kiss me again, I'M hexing YOUR lips off!" Of course, I licked his hand and he spent the next 5 minutes acting like he was repulsed and wiping his hand on his trousers. I really should have thought twice before I did that, as his hand tasted very odd and Merlin knows where it had been last.
So with that situation managed, I got to fully appreciate myself in these miraculous trousers. You just try to keep your mouth off of Padikins, James and Other James when you see me in these! James (ungulate James, not testicle James) sneaked into another dressing room when I wasn't looking and came out in the most boring denim trousers I have ever seen. I can't even call them jeans as they are an insult to the name. They were stiff and dark and went up past his belly button, yet managed to sag in his arse like he had crapped himself. I told him to get his hopeless self back in there and I'd bring him something to try on. He yelled, "Don't you make me look like a bloody poofter!" I found this other rack of jeans and they were spiffing. There was this one pair that looked like it was already broken in. They were really faded and had a few very nicely placed holes. I was picturing you in them, but then I heard Prongs yell something about standing there in nothing but his pants feeling gayer by the second, so I went and brought them to him.
He looked at them and immediately said no way. I said the thing that always works with him, "I bet Remus would love these, then. Evans will no doubt be admiring his arse, since he won't look as though he's soiled himself" and he snatched them out of my hands as disgruntledly as he could. He said he wasn't coming out without a shirt, so I grabbed this dark green one off the nearest rack. He finally came out and, Moony, the jeans fit him like a glove! Who knew he could look so good in trousers? I think it's the first time I've ever seen him in clothes that fit. That's quite an arse our Prongsy has, you were so right! It's actually really firm too! I stood in front of him and slid my hands round to his arse and pulled him to me as I checked us out in the mirror. I told him I thought we made a rather smashing couple and I'd be waiting for him once he quit chasing birds. He had the nerve to insult me and push me away! He said he was walking out of the store right then if I didn't quit molesting him, but he knew I was right and he wasn't leaving without that outfit. I told him he has to go pantsless, because it's way sexier to show skin through the holes than bloody pants and you'd give him some tips about it as you are now a crazy pantsless man whore. The green shirt was smashing on him as well. It was snug in all the right places with those not short, but not long sleeves, you know? For some reason, there's an 'M' on one sleeve and a 'K' on the other. Must have been the designers' initials or something. The green looks great on him, especially now that he's all tanned. Where did our little Prongs get all of those muscles? If Evans doesn't jump him in this outfit, I will. (well, not really, but I told him that)
I found this black meshy, see-through tank top that would have looked ace with my new trousers, so I tried it on. I must say, I was one sexy bitch! You could see my nipples and everything, but I was wearing a shirt. What a grand idea! I showed James and at first, I thought he liked it. He said, "Oh that's smashing, Padfoot, but I have a better idea. Why don't you just go shirtless and write 'I'M A POOF' on your chest. It's basically the same thing." Then he told me you and Lily would both hate it, so I decided maybe it wasn't the best idea. Still think I looked bloody good in it....bunch of uptight wankers....never let me have any fun.
I looked round for something for you to wear. I'm afraid the only trousers in your size were the arseless ones I suggested to you a few weeks ago. I got you gold ones to bring out your eyes. I also bought you a surprise, but I'm saving that until next I see you. Can't wait to see you in it. I didn't actually buy you the arseless trousers (although, I still think you'd look so hot in them, especially with your sweater vest) or anything else to wear to the party because I think you'd look absolutely smashing in the jeans Mrs. BH got for me. They really look more like something you'd wear anyhow and the thought of taking you out of my trousers (you'll be pantsless, of course) is enough to send me running for the loo once I finish this letter.
We really have your house to ourselves for two whole days??? I can't wait. Absolutely no awkwardness this time, no matter what. I really am fine, Moony. I hope I didn't set you off into weirdness again with the beginning of this letter. I'm not asking you to agree with me, just to understand my point of view on the whole situation. And let me say again how totally over it is and us continuing to let it have this power to cock up everything we have isn't doing either of us any good. We have to let the past be the past and just move on.
I love you, in all your pantsless, tarty man whoring glory,
Padfoot
P.S. I would have loved to see you unleashing your jealous wrath on CT1. You probably could have just picked her up and tossed her emaciated arse right into the ocean. So skinny, these muggle birds. What's wrong with them?
P.P.S. I will try to contain myself around Prewett. Try. I'm wondering why you didn't tell him about us. Seems if he's a poof it would be ok if he knows, and that way, he'll know exactly why he's being killed if he ever so much as looks at you again.
P.P.P.S. So we're going to be alone. At your house. Alone. For two days. Alone. Yet you say your mouth still shan't journey below my belt. Alone. For two days. No sucky. Whatever you say, my love. I believe you. Guess I'll just have to do it to you enough for both of us. Wee Moony and the boys better get ready.