Ah, Mount Rushmore, America encapsulated in the face of... four old dead guys. He'd never understood it and he wasn't about to start. Especially when he realised that standing at the right angle meant you could see right up their noses.
"Boring, colourless old guys never buy muffins," they sucked like that. They didn't even buy Girl Scout cookies! Cardinal sin numero uno! "We should make 'em colourful!"
He totally didn't bring paintballing gear with him all the time for this very purpose, no sir. It was just a handy coincidence that sometimes happened to involve defacing national landmarks.