She nodded, swallowing dryly, sighing deeply. "I just, I hate that he doesn't want to talk to me about it, or hear me say I love him. I hate that we're pretty much strangers. I always wanted a big brother growing up." She shrugged, finishing off the first of the cough drops, sighing. "Shit, I don't even know what I want to do with my life. Thye hate that here. 'What do you mean you don't know? What are you good at?'. Photographic memory doesn't do you much good unless you claim to be psychic and no one knows you aren't." She smiled dryly, running a hand through her hair.