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Tweak says, "Let's hear it for the boy."

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Cassidy Turner ([info]1stbornextreme) wrote in [info]utr_logs,
@ 2010-02-07 18:50:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:cassidy turner, sable harris

Who: Cass and Sable
What: Getting through to her the only way he can think of
Where: Castle Von Wolfpack (More a two-storey home than a castle)
When: Sometime in the evening, Sunday.
Warnings: Deep Discussion? Possibly a little swearing from the boy.


Cassidy had called Sable over to the house. She'd asked him while in the hospital that they try to start again, and he agreed wholeheartedly. He wanted to get back to where they started before all the relationship trouble even began. Cass didn't know how to get through to her, though. He spoke a different language than she did. It was hard for him to see what he could do to change that.

He also needed some creative outlet that day, and that's when it struck him, in fact. He was playing the piano - something he rarely did - and suddenly smiled. "Yeah," murmured Cass, his smile gone lopsided and slightly devious. "That'd work best." That's when he'd picked up the phone.

He was still at the piano, his crutches set against its side. The door was unlocked, and the dogs were laying in the hall, looking up as if they knew someone was coming. Mamba was sprawled across the top of the piano, looking rather disdainful at the fact Cass was making her bed make noise.


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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 02:08 am UTC (link)
Sable arrives shortly. She knocks, but doesn't wait for an answer before letting herself in. She barely has time to yell a hello to her cousin before being tackled by dogs. She scoops up both of the wiggly beasts, showering kisses especially on Arthur.

Following close behind her is her own dog -- still a puppy, her young age overwhelms her normally laid-back disposition and she jumps and yaps until Sable puts the other dogs down and the three of them go bolting off together after a brief sniffing session.

Grinning at them, Sable makes her way to Cass in the other room and goes to kiss his cheek. "Hey, baby. I brought the new kid to meet Arthur and Dog. I hope that's okay. How're you doing?"

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 02:18 am UTC (link)
Cass smiled brightly at the new puppy and laughed when they all dashed off into the kitchen to go be doglike. "So you have. They'll get on, I can tell." He turned to her as she kissed and smiled, squeezing her arm lightly with one hand. "Better. Musical, for a change. See, I've come to the conclusion I can't speak Sable, and you can't speak Cass. So I've come to an interesting middle ground." He nodded over to a chair that he'd set near the piano as he started to play quietly.

"You know the Black Crowes, Sabey? They're one of my favorites."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 02:31 am UTC (link)
"Yeah. My mom worked part of one of their tours while I was in school training for paramedics. They're really good, I wished I could have been with her for that one." She leans against the piano and scritches Mamba's ears. "I'm guessing your middle ground is musical?"

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 02:45 am UTC (link)
Cassidy nodded and winked, "Smart girl. Then I'm sure you've heard what I'm about to tell you, but I mean every single word of it." He wound up the song into its first few bars, louder than before, more heartfelt, and then he started to sing.
"I lose myself,
I forget myself,
Sometimes, I even fault myself,
I fight myself,
But then I make amends..."

His voice had an emotional quality in it, true and compassionate, deeply searching in his soul as he sang, watching his hands as he played, with his hair falling off its perch on his ear. As he sang the song, Cassidy occasionally looked over at Sable, pointedly directing the song to her.

"...So unzip my pride,
Sabey, open me up wide,
So I can show this to you."

When he hit the chorus, his playing became more adamant, more strong and powerful, as did his voice. Every time Baby was the word, Sabey was settled in its place, and it was fluid and flowing as a conversation. He got into the second verse and his brow furrowed sadly, and the piano sang out a little more quietly again.

"...Well I hate myself,
Doesn't everybody hate themselves?
So what, I scare myself,
It's alright cause I tell myself,
Tell myself that it's all in my mind,
So I let the poison go,
Cause Sabey I always know,
It'll be there for me..."

He played the chorus two more times, just as strong and powerful as before, though the second verse left wetness on his face as he said it, and he sang powerfully through the tears. It wasn't the time to cry, that part was over and done with, metaphorically and literally, in the immediate and in the general way.

He stilled his hands after playing the song off into a mellow end, and smiled at her, chuckling and wiping his eyes.

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 03:17 am UTC (link)
Sable listens in perfect stillness and silence. When the song ends, she sweeps down onto the piano bench next to him and pulls him into a tight hug. She strokes his hair back, holds him for a few long moments, then leans away just enough to kiss his cheeks and rub the tears off of her own. Hands on his shoulders, her eyes are on him but far away, searching, it seems, until, as sudden and subtle as a blink of her eyes, she finds what she was looking for.

She slides her hands down to take his, leans her head lightly on his shoulder, and sings. Her voice is quiet -- a little unsure of itself -- she can carry a tune but lacks the kind of charisma and raw emotion that Cass and Miniver and even Pickles pour into their songs. It's a little like a lullaby, but it's in the same language.

Hush, close your eyes
And I'll keep you safe
Allow you to weep
And sing you to sleep

Don't be afraid
Remember I'm here
The noise in the street
Will soon disappear

When the soft face of mercy
Is lost behind a veil
I will stay with eyes open
Stay here with eyes open
To watch over you
And take away the sadness and the fear

Hide in my arms
And dream golden dreams
Forgetting the world
Of men and machines

When the soft eyes of mercy
Are blinded by the dark
I will stay with eyes open
Stay here with eyes open
To watch over you
And take away the sadness and the fear

I'll be here,
I'll be here...

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 03:27 am UTC (link)
Cass wrapped his arm around Sable and settled as comfortably as he could, keeping himself gingerly perched on his better leg, still not yet fully healed. He listened to her and took it in, smiling a little and nodded once she was done.

"Thanks," he whispered once she finished, his eyes closed still, still savoring the words in the song, understanding it at a level that most everything she said otherwise could never hit.

"And you have a nice voice. Don't sell yourself short or get shy with it. You're powerful. Your voice should be, too."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 03:37 am UTC (link)
She smiles, and kisses his cheek once more. "I'm no rockstar, Cassie. I play a clarinet. And I sell books, and I heal people. As well as I can, anyway. I should be thanking you. You sing beautifully. I had no idea. Do you need anything? Can I get you some tea or soup or something? You probably should be resting. Or at least... not sitting on a hard piano bench for too long, huh?"

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 03:44 am UTC (link)
"Well, I did sing to you once before but it was so long ago..." He just smiled and kissed her cheek once again, before grabbing his crutches and standing on his good leg. "Resting? Do you know what I've been doing all week? Hell, all month? Sleeping. Resting. Sulking. I'm done with it. I ache for getting out of this house, I want to go do something. I want to see the sky again. Hell, I'd go swimming at this point. I hate swimming." He plopped himself back down onto the couch and at that point, the dogs came jangling back in, and Dog hopped up onto his lap, burrowing against him. Cass just laughed softly and pet the dog with the eyepatch, and watched as Arthur did his little overexcited happy dance.

"I think they missed you," Cass said, watching Arthur wiggle right in front of Sable.

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 03:56 am UTC (link)
Sable scoops Arthur up once more and kisses him and scritches him as he locks her and wiggles. "Aww, I know. I missed them, too. Especially my little dude here."

The puppy, meanwhile, is tiptoeing delicately around Cass's feet, sniffing and staring and sniffing and staring and giving a curious nibble to the bottom of his pants and staring again, her curly tail wagging. Sable watches as she cuddles Arthur, chuckling softly. "Cass, I don't think you've met Poppy..."

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 04:01 am UTC (link)
"Poppy, it's a pleasure!" He said with a smile, moving Dog just off to the side of his lap before leaning as best he could before picking up the shiba inu. He pet her and grinned wide, "Oh what a pretty dog you are! You're mostly fur, aren't you, dear?" Dog nipped Cass' shirt sleeve, supposedly jealous of his attention being diverted to the new puppy.

"Really now, Dog? When have I ever stopped loving you in lieu of another puppy? Stop being so silly." He pet Poppy and kissed the top of her head. "Good kids. You know... I'm kind of worried. Henn and Soren are ready for real children. I'm... Just not."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 04:17 am UTC (link)
Sable sits next to Cass with Arthur in one arm and gently yoinks Dog over to be cuddled too while Cass plays with Poppy. Deciding that Cass is Good People, Poppy warms up to him instantly and licks at his face a bit before folding her fluffy self against him and nuzzling into his belly.

Sable, for her part, can't help but feel a tiny pang of jealousy over Soren's readiness -- given there's still a part of her whose first thought is that Soren's kids could have been hers, too. She ignores it gracefully, scritching both Arthur and Dog as she takes a moment to consider her reply.

"Well... I think... I guess it's really up to you three to figure out how you all feel about that and what you're going to do. Hell, if nothing else, there'll be three of you and one baby and you'll always have willing babysitters from the rest of the family. You have to think about it. Will there ever be a time that's better than now? Can you really know that? I mean, is it just that you're not ready or more like you really don't want to?"

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 04:23 am UTC (link)
"They want twins," Cass said with a shake of a head, "I... kind of got used to the fact I would never have any, and got bitter to the idea of having children at all. I want children with them eventually, but look, I'm not a great guy right now, and I doubt that having a child would immediately change that. I hurt people. And I'm foolish and so young. We're all so young. I want to be able to give the kids a family that doesn't fall apart at the drop of a hat, and that really requires all three of us to be as stable as Henn. I... I don't see how I could raise a child in this sort of mental environment." He sighed and kissed the top of the big poofy puppy's head.
"And they'd have my genes. Can you imagine it? There's a reason for everything, and my inability to have children is probably so my genes don't pass down. I'm a pile of mental problems."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 04:47 am UTC (link)
"There's a reason you can't on your own that and there's a reason science and magic say you can. Reasons for everything only work if you consider everything, Cassie. And the trouble with doing that is that everything is so complex and contradictory and in the end we just can't know what any reasons are except our own. The world is too huge and too complex. Maybe the only reason is so someone else who gets to be responsible for helping you have kids gets to feel needed like that. Maybe it's got some kind of wacky far-ranging sequence of events reason that ultimately prevents some monk in Hawaii from being eaten by a whale. Maybe..." She scops scritching the dogs and gives her cousin's hair a little scritch. "...knowing what they want is a reason to focus on getting better. Just like you made my dad and Teague focus on getting sober and getting help. We're all piles of problems, Cassie. You can say what you want about me, but I don't think too many of my dad's problems got passed on to me genetically. Your kids are going to be whoever they're going to be. I can't imagine that in spite of all the problems you and Soren have they won't be wonderful."

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 04:54 am UTC (link)
"Henn too, though. She's had a... couple miscarriages. It's kind of hard to believe that I would fall in love with a woman, me, and both of us can't have kids. I'm not a believer in that "the world is random" nonsense. There's rhyme and reason to everything, and I've never been a fan of asking for divine favors, I only ask God's advice and she's always been there, always told me I COULD ask her, but I still won't. It's the way she made us, or perhaps she didn't, and some other God did but the point is, I have a choice and I choose not to ask favors from anything that could blip me out of existence." Smiling a little and kissing Sable's hand, he sighed. "I'm sorry that I don't make much sense, but I'm incredibly superstitious and dogmatic. It's hard not to be, for me. Changing how I think is... well, it's like rewiring an incredibly complex television or something, just to change the channel."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 05:02 am UTC (link)
"Think as you will, Cass... but be happy. The world doesn't punish you for striving to live your bliss. And even if it does... I think it already has with you enough that you're owed." She scoots a bit closer to him, tugging the dogs with her. Puppypile indeed. "Science can give you what you want if you don't want to ask gods and wizards."

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 05:11 am UTC (link)
"That's true enough. I've been going back to my therapist, twice a week now, just so I can get my mind under control. I need to change the topic, that's depressing. Here's a strange question, luv, have you ever considered what your mom did? I mean... with having a child to keep even though the dad's not sticking around? I always wondered. She seems so strong to do that, and you turned out great. I don't think I ever did anything quite so strong as that. She's so amazing, so weightless it seems. I half-believe Miniver when he says she's more than human." He laughed sheepishly, shaking his head as he idly scruffed Dog under his collar, making the tags jingle.

"Sometimes, people call me heroic and I don't believe it. Heroism is so far different than that. It's raising a kid on the road, with no father. Heroism is taking care of an entire family despite all the crap that gets thrown your way. I'm no hero, I just do the right thing as much as I can. You're a hero. You grew up on the road with no father, you got your EMT license and you came here and everything is so different for you, yet you press on."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 05:38 am UTC (link)
"I've thought a lot about what my mom did, Cassie. Let me tell you... I never come to the same conclusions from one day to the next, because she's never explained ot -- to me or to him, as far as I know. Some days I agree with you. Other days, it just frustrates the hell out of me because... how can she do that to someone she says she loves? Maybe she is mosre than human. She's too inexplicable to be just another... what is it Skwisgaar says... stupid jackoff roadie." She sighs. "But I'm not hero, Cass. Any idiot can make a living. Open a shop, sell some stuff, make friends with people. But I can't take care of an entire family. I've shown that again and again. Even when I want to, even when I CAN, I feel like it's almost an indulgence for people to rely on me to do it. I'm not dumb, I know my mom could have had my brother at home with just Sadako there to help. I know she did it this way so I could help. And to tell the truth, Cass, I did have fathers. Lots of them. Guys we met in whatever city we were staying in for a while, guys my mom would hook up with who'd travel with us for two or three gigs... all really nice guys. They taught me a lot. Growing up that way wasn't heroic, Cassie, just different. It wasn't hard. I was happy. I got to see so much of the world. And if we didn't have a house... so what? We always had a warm place to sleep and good food to eat. We weren't rich but we weren't impoverished. I never lost anything growing up that was irreplaceable. I never suffered any traumas that still haunt me. I was a normal little kid. I liked to play dress-up and soccer and cards and tag... only I did it in a different city with different kids every few weeks. To tell you the truth, I think I was a little spoiled." She smiles and glances at him. "I'm sure you guessed that already."

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 06:00 am UTC (link)
"You could say that all day long and I still would have trouble believing it. I couldn't ever imagine a life on the road would be an easy life, growing up. I am such a homebody. I need to know I've got a place to come back to, a place where everything is exactly as I left it and exactly as I like it. It's weird, I only ever felt okay going away camping with dad, even, after doing this little ritual where I cleaned absolutely everything in my room, set it in exactly one way, and made sure I could come home and just touch everything when I got back. I needed that. I suppose I had a comfortable life, I mean... Dad and mom made sure Lilo and I always had everything we needed and some of the stuff we wanted. Dad was one hell of a guy, even if he drank." He smiled a little sheepishly and scratched his head. "He um. He always made sure that Soren and I were doing our homework instead of goofing off, and sometimes when Soren wasn't around, he came and helped me with my English studies. I am bloody awful at it, you realize." He laughed a little and shook his head. "I only like a few books, s'why I didn't really go to the store much. I... um. I still liked working with you. If you want to work with me again, that is. I was crazy good at keeping the numbers."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 06:31 am UTC (link)
Sable shrugs. "I guess it depends what you mean by easy, then. We worked hard but it was good work. I liked it. And I guess... never being in one place for too long always felt to me like... that meant your shadows didn't have time to catch up with you. There's no time to start fussing over regrets and grudges when there's 200 miles in front of you and by dawn, whatever was wrong with yesterday is in a completely different time zone. But here... that's the problem. I never learned how to deal with regrets or being hurt, because it was always over as soon as the show was done and the equipment packed up in the busses after the last performance. Then mom and I would get in the van and start it up and in a few hours, there'd be nothing left except a playbill or a ticket stub or a nametag. It's over and you count your pay and buy a newspaper and start looking for the next job."

She stops babbling and shakes her head out of the memory. "Your dad is a hell of a guy. I'm very glad to know him. Your mom is, too. She's so calm and... mom-like. Um... if you really want to come back and work... yeah. Okay. But not until you're better. It might be a nicer place to work in now, anyway. Teja's been teaching me how to put little spells on things, to keep the place safe on my own."

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 07:03 am UTC (link)
"He is? Wow. That's incredible for you, Sable. I'm so glad you're learning to do magic. A year ago, you were so upset by it. So... so upset by it." He smiled and went quiet as he thought about the reasons why she started magic. Was it to protect herself from him? Or was she trying to fit in? Maybe both. Maybe neither, he tried to remind himself that she was one person he couldn't understand. "So are you liking it? I mean, learning that."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 07:41 am UTC (link)
"I do like it. And before you ask--" She knows what he must be thinking. She reaches for his hand again. "--Yes. It was sort of originally because of you. But not entirely because of you. It was because of Ares, too, and because I was just... scared. People come to my shop often who need a place to hide, to be safe. I trust Judah with all our lives, but I needed to be able to tell those people that my word came also from my work. Plus... you know it's always been hard for me, living among wizards and gods in this world. Even without any of them being angry at me, I was still just a bossy bookseller among people with powers I couldn't even imagine. And especially with my family being what it is... and was... Dethklok... my dad's a wizard who shacks up with vampires... you have prophetic dreams... Soren's a mage, Lulu's the same, Henn's a Shadow, all the Brennans are apparently sorcerers by birth whether they use it or not, I have a great-uncle and now another uncle or cousin person who were raised by fairies or something, my business partner plugs himself into cats and animates dead matter, I have these two weird gods who like to fall through my walls every so often, my certification I worked my ass off for is rendered totally meaningless by Sadako and other healers, my best friend fights demons and might even be one or something... even my mom gives everyone the impression she's not human, and for all I know, maybe she's not. But where I come from, Cass, none of that is real. It's all fairytales. You can't imagine what it's like for all of that to suddenly become real... but for the world to evolve without you. In all the stories, when the little girl finds out that the magical world is real, she gets to have powers too, all her own. Well... I'm a Brennan too, aren't I? So maybe I can try to figure out how to use that." She can't help smiling proudly. "I'm pretty good at it. I've put spells on all the doors and windows of my place so that anyone who comes in feels less angry. I don't like using magic that forces people to change their thoughts or actions, but this is really more like... glorified aromatherapy. Anyone who comes into my shop is still free to choose to fight someone else, but they're less likely to. It just makes people feel more calm and safe, less anxious or angry."

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 07:47 am UTC (link)
"I figured," Cass sighed at first and rubbed his forehead. "I'm from this world. Raised here. Gods, magicians, all that stuff? It's just normal. I wish I had the imagination to think of a world where no magic exists, where no Gods were around. But for me, Sable, it's like imaging the world without the sun." His brow furrowed a little and he smiled weakly, "You had the sun there, right?" He really wasn't all that sure.

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 07:56 am UTC (link)
She smiles and pulls him into a hug. "Of course. I love the sun. And I know it's hard. Soren could never understand where I was coming from either. If our positions were reversed, and you two came to my world and all the magic just stopped working, I don't think I'd be able to understand what it would be like for you either."

By now, the dogs have all settled quietly around them -- Arthur on the couch at Sable's side, Dog on the floor by their feet, and only Poppy still being a lapdog, twisted into a sprawling pretzel half on Cass's lap and half on Sable's. Sable pats her belly fondly. "Cassie, I want to do something with you. I'm not sure what. Just... something. I'd take you out for a drive but I don't think that can be good for your bones. Where are Soren and Henn? Maybe I could stay here and cook dinner and we can watch a movie or something. Or... I don't know... draw. Do you draw? Were you ever an artist like your dad?"

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 08:02 am UTC (link)
"Soren's at the party, Henn's with her dad's sister. I think. At least that's what they said. At least I know Soren's right, he's just finishing up with helping in clean up at dad's, he'll be here in a half an hour, he just wants to give us some time... Um. I don't draw much. I mean, sure, I doodle, but it's usually blueprints or schematic drawings, nothing really, you know. Artistic. Dad's the artist." He leaned against Sable and looked up at the ceiling. "I think it'd be nice, eating dinner with you again. I could call up Henn and drag her butt back over for dinner. I bet Soren will cry. Um. Happy. Happy crying."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 08:05 am UTC (link)
She nuzzles into his hair a little.

"That's okay. Soren's cute when he blubbers. He must get that from Miniver. Do you guys have food around I can make or anything you want? I'll do that, and maybe you can hang out in the kitchen and show me how you draw. I'm no good at it, either, I just like to do it. Uncle Teague lets me borrow his studio sometimes and just play around in there."

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 08:09 am UTC (link)
"Well, we've got a crapload of leftovers, Brend comes over every so often and feeds us, but other than that, you know me. I always have a stocked kitchen. Whatever you want to feed us. We have chicken and beef ready to eat, so it's all up to you. Or you know, breakfast food." He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm around her.

"I'd go get my sketches for stuff but they're upstairs. I'm not allowed to go up a single stair without Soren being there. I'd send you up there for them, but they're in a very particular order and you know... me."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 08:13 am UTC (link)
"I could help you up," she suggests. "I won't drop you, I've hoisted plenty of folks up stairs who were a lot heavier and a lot less cooperative than you. Then you can get them in their proper order and we'll go in the kitchen and I'll see what's around to cook."

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[info]1stbornextreme
2010-02-08 08:17 am UTC (link)
"I'd really like that," Cassidy agreed before he swung himself up onto his good foot and smiled at her. "Let's do that."

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[info]ex_sable973
2010-02-08 08:49 am UTC (link)
Sable helps maneuver him into a good support position. He's small and light, which helps a lot. She's small but strong, and has done this before. She very quickly guides him into the best way to work with her to get up the stairs so that there is virtually no strain on any part of his body except his arms and shoulders, which he'd need to use to hold on to her and to help with balance and leverage against the railing. They manage it relatively quickly. Sable helps Cass to his room and waits while he finds his drawings. She takes them, promising not to crease or drop or bend them, and helps him back down perhaps with even greater ease.

Being more or less in full-out Nurse Sable mode, she helps him to the kitchen and sits him down with his drawings and whatever else he needs and puts a pot on for tea before she begins rummaging around to see what there is to be cooked. All three dogs eventually migrate in as well, to take positions sprawled at various locations around the kitchen floor. Soon Sable has pots on the stove and things being chopped or peeled or washed as the two of them drink tea, chatter about drawings and whatever else comes to mind, and just enjoy one another's company until the others return home...

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