Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "ROCK ON!"

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

Cassidy Turner ([info]1stbornextreme) wrote in [info]utr_logs,
@ 2009-08-17 00:46:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:cassidy turner, sable skwigelf, soren skwigelf

Who: Soren, Sable, & Cass, with a possible Marnie somewhere.
What: Uh. Not good things, that's for certain.
Where: The Wolfpack's London residence
When: Nowish
Warnings: If you don't like seeing little fluffy jerkwads yelling at poetspawn, this wouldn't be for you.

Cassidy was pacing the length of the living room like a caged wildcat. He was wearing his gloves, and in them, his fingers flexed into fists and loosened once more, only to repeat the process. Soren was able to hear him mentally reciting the Fibonacci sequence, and he was well into it. His breath was tight and huffed out in little growls of anger.  Around his shoulders, Henn's Shadow, Kitten draped like a rather strange boa. It was to Kitten's credit that he wasn't completely livid. He was waiting for Sable to show up. He was fucking done with playing around. He'd learned just earlier that his fears were true, that in some way, Sable was using Henn to get back at Soren. To stab Cass in the back. And that wouldn't fly with him. Not because it was against him, but because it was Henn that she was hurting. He couldn't care less about his own pain at this point. What mattered was that she was being a two-faced bitch over all of this.

She had to be gone. Now. Preferably without his having to confront her, physically.



(Post a new comment)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 07:03 am UTC (link)
Soren was curled up on the couch, knees to his chest, forehead to knees. He didn't have to watch Cass to know how he was moving; he'd seen him worked up enough to know how he was pacing, to be familiar with the amount of paces each side. He could hear Cass in his head, counting as loud as if he were yelling, and Soren felt himself rocking slightly.

It was all so fucked, and Soren didn't even know how it had gotten to that point. He didn't know much, but he did know that when his husband wanted to smack his wife and when Henn was Backstage trying not to explode herself or anyone else - things were too fucked up to save. So he'd thrown up, splashed cold water on his face, and sat down on the couch. His own Shadow, Snuggles, was burrowed in his hair, mostly unseen.

(Reply to this)


[info]ex_sable973
2009-08-17 07:11 am UTC (link)
She doesn't come immediately. There's an instinct in her that screams fear, so she'd gone to her mother, who she was staying with anyway. There had been a brief but thorough discussion.

Finally, then, Sable arrives -- with her mother. It isn't a gesture of a little girl crying to mommy over bullies on a playground. Sable and Marnie may be mother and daughter, but it has been many years since they became also friends. Marnie accompanies her daughter both as a protective mama-wolf and as a concerned companion. She will not interfere except in the interest of her daughter's safety, but she also has her own personal concerns over the behavior she has witnessed from the boys and will not leave her daughter and friend alone with them, whether or not it is "her" issue to deal with.

Sable enters with her mother, looking apprehensive but calm. Some part of her knows -- or suspects -- what is coming, and she is forcing herself to keep her cool and be rational.

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 07:17 am UTC (link)
Marnie wasn't unexpected, really. Cass had figured that with the way he spoke to Sable over the forum, that she'd have some sort of back up, and he fixed his intense, darkly cold stare on the mother first. "Ms. Harris, Please, help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen. This is between the three of us." His voice was level and chilly in tone. He wouldn't start talking to Sable until Marnie was out of the room, he decided just then.

He faced Sable and stood still, arms crossed. He was practically staring, with an expression that was only reserved for two things - people who had hurt him to the extent where he actually got pissed, and people who had hurt someone close enough to him where he would get pissed off enough to get into a mood that was not particularly sane, rational, or levelheaded. It never occurred to him, until just that day, that perhaps the Wartooth anger did pass down to him.

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 07:24 am UTC (link)
Soren didn't move. He was incredibly still, too tired to look up, too tired to cry, too tired to breathe. He knew that he really had to be the logical one, he had to be the one that kept things from getting too ugly.

"I'm sorry," he croaked. He hadn't had time to be seen by Sadako or his brother, and hadn't thought to heal his own throat. It sounded like he'd gargled with acid, and he had, of sorts. He'd thrown up more times than he remembered, he'd cried for an hour, he'd beat himself up and wished that he'd kept his sharps kit. He had, much to his own chagrin, burnt his palms enough that they'd blistered. They were balled into fists so nobody was likely to see. "I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't, Sable. I thought I could try again, but - I love you, and I always will, but being married is... I can't."

(Reply to this)


[info]ex_sable973
2009-08-17 07:35 am UTC (link)
Marnie does not answer Cass. She makes clear that she did hear him, but beyond that, she says nohing, does nothing, just places herself casually against a wall, out of the way but vigilant. She will neither move nor speak unless she is needed.

Sable is likewise exhausted. The look on her face -- uncharactically -- is one of complete confusion. She looks lost, though determined to not play the role of the lost lamb or kicked puppy. Her confusion, her incomprehension, is very genuine. She is forcing her own strength, as she has always tried to do.

She looks up to Soren, ignoring Cass for the moment. She really is afraid of Cass right now. But Soren is her husband. She meets his eyes, and she understands what he's going through. She understands that although none of this makes sense to her, he is in pain, and Cassidy is in pain, and for all she knows, Henn is in pain. She says nothing, but takes off her rings and places them on a nearby coffee table. Her hand shakes, but her voice does not as she says, "I'm sorry."

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 07:46 am UTC (link)
"You'll find that your things have been shipped to your bookstore. If we've forgotten anything, they will be brought there by Kitten as we find them." Cass hissed. He looked over at Soren. "He can't say it, so I will. You have deceived us all, Sable. You love him, of that I'm sure, but your love has made you do things that inevitably dug your grave. You used Henn. She truly cares for all of us, including you, but you used her."

He decided that he'd ignore Marnie, if Marnie wouldn't leave.

"Sable, you never went to her for advice, never went to her for companionship unless Soren was out with me. Even when Soren was free to do anything, and you could willing go to either, you either went to neither of them, or went to Soren. You never were there for her, until she was convenient for you, because it was an inconvenience that Soren was with me. You asked her to marry you, not because you loved her as one would a wife, but because you felt it would complete something that didn't need completion. I love her, Sable. I would do anything for her. I would die for her, and would give her anything I could possibly give. You could hurt me, make moves to have the upper hand at all times - you did it by bringing your mother with you, in fact. But this isn't about her, either. What it is about is that you've undermined everything you thought you truly believed in. Love. Family. We ARE a family. The only reason I'm not screaming right now," said Cassidy, calmly as possible, "is because you are family. I want you gone. You hurt me. You hurt Henn. In so doing, you hurt Soren. Soren can not live like this, and neither can I."

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 07:49 am UTC (link)
He breathed hard and shook his head. "It's - it's a puzzle, Sable, and I think somewhere along the line some of the pieces got lost. I can't fix it. I just... " He breathed hard, wiped his cheek on his knee and avoided her eyes. "Don't mistake this for me not loving you. I don't think I could stop. I just. You can hate me. For giving up. You can be mad at me, okay?"

(Reply to this)


[info]ex_sable973
2009-08-17 08:06 am UTC (link)
Sable faces her cousin without cringing or flinching -- which, if she had to measure it in her mind, would be one of the bravest things she's ever done.

"I know... there's no point now in trying to explain or justify myself. You've made your decision, Cassidy, and Soren, and I can't say it comes entirely as a surprise to me. But if you're willing to listen to a single word of mine, hear this -- I never, never meant to hurt anyone. I do love you -- my husband, my cousin, and my absent sister. There can be no point in trying to explain myself and Henn to you now, but I need you to know that I never knowingly used her. She is... or was... my sister and my friend."

Sable backs away from the table where her rings lie.

"My mother came with me of her own will, not mine. I didn't ask her to come." Sable knows, by now, that her words serve little purpose, and cannot sway any decision made here tonight, but she cannot help but want to be understood, and want her truth to be known.

"If you want me gone, Cass, I will honor that wish. As I love you, and as I love Soren, I will not make it difficult for you. I... thank you for having my things sent." She swipes at her cheeks, not even trying to hold back the tears, but speaking through them all the same. "I know you two are bonded in a way I can never reach. I am deeply sorry that I have come between you ever. I am sorry for... for everything. I know you want to hate me, Cass, but please.. both of you... please understand that I never, never meant to hurt anyone. If I am petty... if I am jealous... or... or stupid or... whatever... shit. I'll take that. Just please... know that I... I never wanted..."

She has to stop then, for a minute or two. She turns away from them and goes towards the door -- not all the way, but away from them, at least. When she speaks again, her voice is thick with tears but she will not let herself appear a victim or play pity cards. She speaks only what she feels, and is not trying to manipulate anyone.

"I will file the necessary papers tomorrow for the... for the divorce, if that's really what you want, Soren." She does not look at him. "Just please... both of you... please know that I never meant..." She stops a minute, pressing one hand over her eyes as she forces herself to take a deep breath to avoid breaking. "If there's nothing else you want to say to me, I'll go."

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 08:14 am UTC (link)
Cassidy tilted his head up, watching her. He couldn't feel pity, though he really knew he ought to. He was still livid with the fresh knowledge that she really hadn't spent time with Henn unless Soren was busy with him.

He walked to Soren's side and put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I cannot express, Sable, the anger I have right now. I am doing my very best to keep myself under control. If I were any more so, this would have been a far, far worse talk."

He squeezed Soren's shoulder, and in his mind, he comforted his husband. His lifelong friend. This was going to be better than being in pain for longer. He wanted to hold Soren, to take him to Sadako or Sindre, and get him healed.

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 08:18 am UTC (link)
"I don't think that. I don't think that at all. I hate that it's come to this, and I hold myself solely responsible. If I could go back in time, I would. I would've been half the man you needed. I wouldn't have ever fallen in love with you so you would have had a shot at true happiness with someone else instead of half-assed happiness with me. I just want you to know - my heart is. It's as raw as anything ever will be." He ground his nails into his hands, giving himself focus, giving himself strength.

"Miss Marnie, I am more sorry to you than you will ever know. Please, don't forgive me."

(Reply to this)


[info]ex_sable973
2009-08-17 08:46 am UTC (link)
"Stop. Both of you stop." Sable turns back sharply to Cass and Soren, her eyes firece despite the tears she no longer bothers to wipe away.

"Cass... for all I've failed to listen to you, you've never wanted to listen to me, either, or consider my problems or my differences... or if you have, you've never showed me the evidence of it. Don't you talk to me about anger, Cassidy, or anything else, and don't pretend you know a damn thing about me and Henn. You might have asked her, but you've never asked me, and you've never asked us, so just... just stop. You can call me a selfish, stupid bitch all you want but goddammit, there's only so far I'll let you go and I can't let you make assumptions like that. You want me gone? Fine. But for fuck's sake, Cass... for once in your life, have a little thought for someone else on this planet you aren't fucking and just stop there. Just STOP. I get it. Okay? I GET it. But you get this, you... You get this -- you've never tried to reach me. Never. Okay? You can acuse me of anything you want, but you're just as guilty. You've sat here all this time and done nothing but assume you've got some right to yourself and to Soren and Henn that's more than I have, or ever could... and you know what? You're right. But it's not fair, Cass, I just want you to know that. It's not fair how you had to get married before me and without even saying a word to me, it's not fair how you assume things about me you can't know, it's not fair how you take the sides of the ones you were friends with since your childhood. You have NEVER let me in, Cassidy, NEVER. I know it won't make a bit of difference, and I don't want to make it hard for you to go back to your little safe place of people you've had around you since you were a baby, but I think... I think it's only fair I get to have my say in that before I go. And I am going. Now."

She doesn't want to see how he'll react to that. He has always frightened her a little and now, when she sees that he does WANT to hurt her, she won't stick around to see if he'll try or play like she's trying to push him. She's not aiming to force his hand. She's having her say and nothing more -- and having had it, she backs up to the door with her hand on the knob and pauses only to look once more at Soren.

"I'm sorry. I wish I'd known better. I wish..." She can't finish, though. Her heart feels like a drum in her chest and the overwhelming KNOWING that she's not welcome here anymore feels like a building falling on her.

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 08:54 am UTC (link)
Soren heard his wife's - no, his ex-wife's words - and as soon as he heard "go back to your little safe place", he knew how Cass would take it. And condescension, real or imagined, would set Cass off. Faster than he should have been for someone so fatigued, Soren stood and placed one of his burned and bloody palms on his husband's chest. "She's angry. Let her go. I need to have someone look at my hands." He looked back at Sable for a moment, his way of acknowledging that he knew she could have helped.

Moving closer to Cass, he found himself hanging onto one word in his mind, please, knowing Cass would hear. He just wanted it to be done. Let the feelings cool, and if anything needed to be talked about, talk about it later.

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 08:59 am UTC (link)
Cassidy had about a half a second of reaction time before Soren's hand was on his chest, but in that half second, he lunged towards Sable with a growl. The hand stopped him and he grit his teeth, held back more by Soren's desire to let her go, his wish to let this end, than Soren's hand.

"Get. Out." He growled at Marnie and Sable, eyes narrowed and teeth bared. He was still seeing red, and if Soren wasn't there, both of them would have seen that fury in full swing.

(Reply to this)


[info]ex_sable973
2009-08-17 09:07 am UTC (link)
Marnie didn't need to be told -- she was out of sight before Cass finished demanding it. Sable, however, doesn't run away quite so quickly as her mother's roadie-instinct urges her to make herself scarce when the situation demands it. Sable stands tall and straight and will not run, and if it means Cass ends up socking her in the face, so be it. She stands there and looks him in the face and ow, just now, refuses to show how scared she is.

"Soren threatened to leave me if I ever hit him, or you," she says quietly. "Are you so self-absorbed that there's nothing else for you than not wanting to hear my point of view? Okay. If that's it, okay. But you know... that's just one more thing you two big strong boys had to be afraid of me for, as if I could really hurt either of you. I don't care if you do. Do you want to, Cassie? I'd welcome it."

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 09:15 am UTC (link)
Soren heard Sable's words, closed his eyes and screamed. "Stop it! Just fucking stop!" He didn't realize he'd started casting again, flames licking up his palms to singe his wrists. He smelled burning before he realized what he was doing, and even after, was of no mind to stop. It was the only thing keeping him from knocking over furniture or blowing up the kitchen. "Just stop this! What's the point of this, what's done is done. Do you guys want to make it worse? Do you want to keep digging at the wound because I can't. I can't fight anymore. I just want - " He closed his eyes and felt himself cry again, tears coming from eyes so irritated that the tears burned almost as much as the fire did. He felt himself wobble a little, falling to his knees, head bowed.

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 09:17 am UTC (link)
"Get out of my ancestor's home, before I escort you out, Miss Harris." He hissed, pointing at the door. He didn't bother stepping toward her, nor did he make any threatening moves. His urge to touch her was quelled by his overwhelming disgust that this woman was bringing in a feeling of unease into the home that Bill Turner had turned into a sanctuary. Soren was crying. Cass was on the verge of snapping.

"You taint everything you touch. Marriage is too good for you. This house, this home is too good for you."

(Reply to this)


[info]ex_sable973
2009-08-17 09:35 am UTC (link)
If he had punched her in the stomach with all his strength, she would have felt it less than she feels those words. Even knowing that they are born of anger and irrationality, Cass's voice slams into her like a speeding train. Tainted, she could accept as mere histrionics. Marriage too good for her, she would gladly accept on the basis that she grew up in a world where all marriages ended badly, where so many of her friends and road-family had been driven to their nomadic lifestyles by failed marriages -- either their own or their parents'. But she has spent her whole life being homeless. She came here looking for her home, for her family, and has spent her whole time here either seeking them or trying to work so she could earn her right to belong with them and provide for them. To have that absence rubbed in her face like that is something she can't stand up to.

Without another word, without even an attempt at posturing for the sake of appearances, she turns and all but runs through the door and out of the house.

She gets almost two blocks towards her shop before she has to stop to throw up into some unfortunate person's boxwoods. Marnie is nearby, though, and is at her daughter's side swiftly to help her back to the Sign of the Weasel -- fortunate indeed, since without that support, Sable would have been physically unable to make it any further.

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 09:43 am UTC (link)
Were he more rational, Soren would have told Cass that he thought his words were a bit harsh. Sable deserved the world, in Soren's opinion. The family unit just hadn't fit right. But he wasn't rational, he was sleep deprived and hadn't eaten properly in about three days, and possibly a touch hung over.

When Sable left, Soren still cried, still felt his hair drifting off of his shoulders and getting singed at the ends in the flames that were drifting off of his palms. Eventually, the fires died and sputtered out, leaving Soren with soot on his cheeks and holes in his jeans. He felt wrung out, just as much as if someone had picked him up and cracked him in half. "Thank you," he murmured, surprised he could talk at all.

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 09:51 am UTC (link)
With Sable out of his house - the house that not only where Bill once lived, but Bill's brother, and his father, and Bill's Father's Father had lived, a family home that went beyond the family tree he read about in books, at least in some variation of reality - Cassidy calmed considerably and he crouched down beside Soren. His voice was as soothing as it had been cold and spiteful a moment ago. "I'll call Sindre. He'll come and fix you up, princess. I'll get you some water, too." He pulled off his gloves and tucked them into his back pocket before running his hand down Soren's back, assessing the damage that Soren had done to himself. "We'll be all right soon, Soren, I promise. I'd rather she hate me than you. You don't ever deserve hatred. Ever."

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 09:56 am UTC (link)
"No!" Soren's eyes went wide, and he bit his lip. He knew how upset Sindre would be to see him hurt and crying. "Not - let me wipe my eyes. I don't want him to be upset too." He sniffled and bit his lip, leaning heavily against Cass, unwilling and unable to move for the time being.

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 10:01 am UTC (link)
Cass held Soren gingerly and nodded, whispering, "Would you prefer Sadako to come and heal you?" He lightly moved Soren's hair off his shoulders and onto his back, out of his face, making little fussing motions to make things slightly better. "I'll call whoever you want me to come heal you. I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I'm sorry this had to happen." He honestly felt like he didn't deserve to be around someone so entirely perfect, just at that moment.

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 10:07 am UTC (link)
"Would you please? She likes us, but Sin - he couldn't do this today. He couldn't ever. I'll tell him, but he doesn't need to see this right now." He smiled weakly at Cass, shaking his head. "It's okay. There's no one person to blame in this. It's everything and nothing that went wrong." He wiped his eyes on Cass' shoulder, nuzzling slightly. It was mostly sad, but inherently grateful to have Cass. "I'm sorry."

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 10:11 am UTC (link)
"I forgive you, Soren. I love you. I'm going to call Sadako now. Do you need help up onto the couch? I'll be right here." Cassidy murmured, brushing the backs of his knuckles against the younger man's jaw. "I know you'll be fine. You just need some rest. We all need rest."

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 10:15 am UTC (link)
He nodded, wrapping his arms around Cass' neck so he could stand up. He shuffled over toward the couch with Cass, falling to his side and curling up. "We'll get through this. All four of us. We'll be fine."

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 10:19 am UTC (link)
Cass' fingers ran over Soren's shoulder and upper arm as he slipped away to grab his phone. He knew that right now, the best thing to do was to make sure Soren was safe, and happy again. And that was all he could think to do.

He called Sadako, and spoke to her briefly, asking politely as he could if she could come and help Soren with some burns. His voice was unwavering, but there was a great deal of sadness in it. He looked over at Soren, a heap of Swede on a couch, and sighed.
He knew this would happen. And he could have prevented it, but he didn't.

(Reply to this)


[info]twiceloved
2009-08-17 10:24 am UTC (link)
Soren would have fallen asleep if he could have, but the pain on his hands and wrists was too much. When he flexed his hands, he winced and cried out a little. He barely noticed when a smaller, cooler hand touched his forehead, moving to push his singed hair out of his face. He did notice when his hands felt better, when his stomach grew less upset, when he was overcome with sleep.

Sadako padded to Cassidy and ruffled his hair a little. "You should sleep as well."

(Reply to this)


[info]1stbornextreme
2009-08-17 10:27 am UTC (link)
Cassidy smiled weakly and nodded to Sadako. "I haven't been doing much of that. I can't sleep well without him. Nightmares." He bowed thankfully to her and went to get a blanket for Soren. He covered the sleeping man first, before squeezing up next to him on the couch. For once, he was thankful he was so slight, because this wasn't as awkward a position as it could have been, and soon, he dozed off beside the one man that truly mattered to him.

(Reply to this)



Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs