InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Never let go!"

who do you want me to be? (live_alie) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-07-05 22:28:00

Entry tags:

emily sorenson, future!dean winchester

Who: Emily Sorenson and future!Dean Winchester
What: Checking in
Where: Dean's bar
When: Yesterday
Warnings: Probable severe stupidity.

Emily was a bleeding heart.

It was something that her closest friends had complained about for years. Dean, Sol and Faith had the tendency to run the opposite way and so Emily just chalked this up to making up for how emotionally stunted the three of them were. Someone had to be on Sam's side after all.

Faith yelled at her to leave it alone, to stay out of their business but after talking to Dean, Emily couldn't leave it alone. She had to get involved because none of it made any sense to her. There was a very simple way in which the world works and it was all built on love. Dean and Solvei loved each other and that was the only information Emily needed.

She was planning on giving Solvei a piece of her mind later but for now she was going to go over to Dean's bar and smack him in the back of the head until he stopped moping.

Walking into the bar she set a cupcake down in front of him before giving him a look.

"You're not gonna really stab me, are you?"

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live_alie
2008-07-06 04:03 am UTC (link)

Emily pouted into her drink as Dean reiterated that she didn't understand and how she was butting into their business. They were her friends and so by that standard, they were her business whether they liked it or not. She could still hear Faith telling her not to get involved and she wondered vaguely if she'd made the wrong decision.

No. No, she hadn't. They had to get back together. Emily was going to give up on the idea of true love altogether if Solvei and Dean didn't work it out.

"I know not everything is a happy ending but this has to be one. Dean, we've been freaking out for months looking for her and now you've finally found her. Now you're going to throw the whole thing away cause some "guy" happened to comfort her once? Please. I know exactly what you're doing, Dean. You're just being stubborn and shutting her out because it's easier than letting her hurt you but you have to fight for her."

Emily was pleading with him but he seemed to be paying her no mind until she had a brand new drink set down in front of her.

She just stared at it for a few minutes.

"What's this?" She asked, finally moving her eyes up to him. He'd been drinking for awhile, she could see it in his eyes but she wasn't sure she wanted to bunker down and get shithouse drunk with him for the night. Although, she considered the possibility that this might be better than just watching him get shithouse drunk on his own.

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donttouchthecar
2008-07-06 04:23 am UTC (link)

"It's not my fight," he cut in and looked back down at his new drink of whatever it was that was actually in it. He didn't care, he was just pouring in whatever he could reach for. He didn't know what else to say about Solvei. Actually, he didn't really want to talk about her anymore. She was history. It was over with. Dean Winchester was moving on now. She meant nothing. Except, of course, all of that was total, utter lies and he was pissed off and hurt, but he was tired of trying to justify what he felt.

Faith and Emily could think what they wanted. Hell, even Sol could think whatever she wanted. He knew the truth.

"I don't know, but it's bound to fuck you up," he grinned, sadly and looked around his bar. "Can you believe this shit is all mine right now? Pretty freakin' awesome, huh? My bar, my music, heh," he slurred and walked from around the bar and just took in how pretty cool it was. And empty.

Turning around, he looked over at Emily as she sat on the barstool.

"You wanna know what she told me?" He started and walked over to Emily until he was right here. Moving toward the side, he leaned the side of his body against the bar while she turned so she was facing him.

"She basically fucking said that the moment she was gone, I was fuckin' chicks in our bed. She insinuated that I was happy that she lost the fucking baby, and she said, 'if you love me, blah fucking blah.' You know what? If she loved me she wouldn't be such a fucking bitch," He said finally and sighed. There. It was all out. Whatever. Done, finished. Now Emily knew.

"Love sucks, you know why? Because love turns you into something you're not. This isn't me. I'm not the pathetic fucking dude who gets all fucking worked up for a chick. I have a mission. I hunt things, I save some lives, there's nothing in between, you know?" He was babbling now and he hated it, but the words seemed to come out faster than he could tell himself to shut the fuck up. He didn't do this, he didn't just let go like this, but then again, he's never experienced this before. It was all new and he was dealing the best way he could.

"Fuck it, I'm done talkin' about this shit," he muttered and reached over, grabbing the bottle.

"So there's your happy ending, that's how the cookie fucking crumbled."

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live_alie
2008-07-06 04:35 am UTC (link)

Emily turned to look up at him as he tried to explain things to her. The problem was, he'd already been drinking so much that his voice was already plenty slurred and Emily knew she would have to take everything he said with a grain of salt. Drinking the pain away hardly ever helped anybody with anything.

"Well, she is stupid." Emily said, definitely. If Solvei was sure that Dean was glad about losing the baby, that he'd been the manwhore he definitely could be in her absence, than she was wrong. Emily, in fact, had never seen a sadder kicked puppy than Dean was after Sol had left. She wanted to march over to the bakery and tell Solvei as much but she knew that Dean wouldn't let her. At least, not right now.

"And you are stupid too. Why is it that you think you're immune to heartache just because you're big, bad Dean Winchester? You have a heart just like the rest of us. It can get broken just like the rest of us." She pointed out to him but then he announced that he was done with the conversation and grabbed the bottle.

She huffed out at him as he grabbed the bottle and so she snatched it right out of his hand and held it away from him, behind her back. "Do you really think getting drunk is going to help you be less pathetic?" She asked him.

She was starting to wonder if she should just call Faith and have her come over and deal with Dean. She related to him in a much different way and Emily didn't really feel up to the job tonight. She'd brought him a cupcake but she'd already decided she wasn't getting totally drunk with him, or letting him get away with all of his excuses.

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donttouchthecar
2008-07-06 04:54 am UTC (link)

"Heh, she is stupid, thanks for someone finally realizing that!" He said a little too loudly and just drank some more from his favorite bottle of the moment. But, then she told him that he was stupid and he frowned, before raising an eyebrow because she took his most favorite bottle away from him and held it behind her back.

"I'm not ... pathetic," he said a little too pathetically and just watched her, wondering what she was up to. All he knew was that he wanted that bottle back, even though it already felt like the world was spinning madly on around him. Maybe a nice bed would do him good. Of course a hot chick in his bed would do him a lot better.

Reaching around, he went for the bottle, but she got up and moved and he was quickly on her, basically pressing her against the bar, but he wasn't even touching her.

He looked at her for a long hard moment and leaned in, but stopped himself before pulling himself back. Rubbing the back of his head, he leaned against the barstool with his other hand and shook his head.

"Fuck, I'm drunk," he admitted and rubbed his face. Yeah, Dean Winchester was drunk and pathetic. Wonderful.

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live_alie
2008-07-06 05:05 am UTC (link)

Emily's breath hitched in her throat when he suddenly leaned in and she was poised and ready to slap him hard across the face, but he pulled back just in time.

"You ARE!" She exclaimed, a little too forcefully, still taken aback by what had almost just happened. She was just glad that he'd been smart enough to pull away because they were friends and he just actually thought about trying to rebound with her. She was also Solvei's friend and that made the instinct to slap him very very strong.

"Stop getting drunk and feeling sorry for yourself! That is not gonna help anything!" She put one hand on her hip and gave him her most intimidating look.

She still had the bottle of alcohol clutched in one hand and she knew that after that, there was no way that he was going to try and take it from her again. Pressing her mouth into a firm, thin line she placed it on top of the bar and just gave him a look. "If you want to be an idiot, I'm not going to stop you." She said, realizing it was probably a lie.

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donttouchthecar
2008-07-06 05:28 am UTC (link)

Whatever, what did she know? Getting drunk seemed like the perfect solution because it took away a few hours of actually thinking about what happened earlier. The only problem with that was it wasn't working. Maybe Emily was right in her own unexperienced way. Frowning, he knew what he was doing was stupid. This whole thing was stupid. Just the fact that he was doing this over her and what she said. Why couldn't he just move on like he was so used to doing in the first place. Oh, right. He never got involved like this before.

See, that was the problem.

"Yeah," he muttered, quietly after Emily said whatever she just said. He didn't even know. The words went in and went out and he just stood there, patting around his jeans, looking for keys.

"Hey, look," he started and then finally looked at Emily.

"I'm just gonna head out, think I'm gonna hit the sack. Tomorrow's a brand knew day, ain't it?" He half smiled before finally finding his keys.

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live_alie
2008-07-06 05:40 am UTC (link)

"Head out?" Emily asked, sucking in an irritated breath. "You are too drunk to drive anywhere!" She pointed out to him, as he clutched the keys in his hand. She knew she wasn't going to be able to wrestle them away from him no matter how drunk he was.

"I swear to God if you try and drive anywhere I will call Faith and she will come over here and kick your ass." I threatened him, although I wasn't sure if it was a good threat or not. Maybe Dean wanted to get his ass kicked.

"Dean," She followed him over as he started to shrug into his jacket. "If you go who's going to run your bar? I'm a hooker not a bartender!" She exclaimed, wishing suddenly that she had stopped to think about that statement before it was already out and floating in the ether.

She huffed. "You're too drunk to go anywhere." She reiterated wishing that any of her friends might show even just a little bit of sense.

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donttouchthecar
2008-07-06 05:53 am UTC (link)

Dean was slightly amused that she was so worried about him driving, when really, he didn't have a car in this world. Oh yeah, not only did Dean go without his brother, he went without his baby. He needed out of this hell. Grabbing his jacket, he put it on and looked down at the keys, trying to remember which key was which. Ever since coming and taking over for some dude who owned a bar, he was doing a shitty job. Whatever. He didn't care anyway.

"I'll be back tomorrow, it'll be okay, Em. I'm sure the non existent people in the bar are gonna be worried," he grinned a little and then grumbled until he finally got his jacket on.

"Hey, hooker," Dean started, but the look on Emily's face pretty much shut him up altogether. "Oh, whatever. You said it, not me. Hooker," he muttered and stood there for a moment trying to remember where he even lived.

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live_alie
2008-07-06 06:03 am UTC (link)

Well, he did have a point, Emily realized as she glanced around. There were literally no customers in the bar and the likelihood of Dean caring even if there were was slim to none. He was drunk, so drunk in fact that Emily was starting to get drunk just off the fumes.

"Don't call me that!" She snapped out at him even if she had been the one to say it earlier. That had been a mistake and she wasn't even a hooker for longer than say, ten minutes after she'd woken up in bed with him. Faith had already promised her that she could help her run the business instead of being one of the workers. Faith's people skills were for shit so Emily figured that she needed her.

She pushed him in the chest, to express her anger but it was hardly ever much to him. This time though, so muddled by alcohol he staggered a little bit under her weight and nearly fell backwards.

Emily just held her breath and then started to laugh as he used the wall to steady himself.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this drunk before!" Emily was a little delighted at the prospect. She'd met Dean in hell so she had seen him in a lot of interesting circumstances but she'd never seen him drunk like this before.

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donttouchthecar
2008-07-06 06:23 am UTC (link)

"Here," he tossed the keys to her and laughed a little. "I don't even know what key locks and really? I don't give a fuck. This place can burn down for all I care," he said through hooded eyes. He was blitzed out drunk and he didn't know which was up and which way was down. He hadn't been like this in a long while. Holding onto the wall, he steadied himself before reaching over to grab the remote, stumbling again, he held onto the bar while he hit a bunch of buttons, but eventually the music turned off.

"Let's blow," He muttered and headed for the door. Holding to her shoulder, he walked out onto the sidewalk and felt the cool wind on his face. Shaking his head, he turned and watched her while she locked up.

Pulling out his ID card, he handed it to her.

"Get me there."

What felt like an eternity, but only was about ten minutes, Dean stumbled inside of his small, but comfortable new apartment. Holding onto Emily, she led the way to his bedroom and once he saw the bed, he plopped down on it.

"Emily ..." he whispered, and leaned against her when she sat down on the bed next to him. Watching her, he turned his head, but fell over when she leaned down to take off his boots. "Damnit." Pushing himself back up, she finally helped him up and he sat there and just looked at her while she unbuttoned his shirt, but closed his eyes. His eyelids were so heavy. Falling over again, he leaned against her until finally, she pushed him back and he laid on his back above the blankets.

"Emily," he whispered again and she moved over toward him. Reaching out, he pulled her toward him a little and he turned his head in her direction.

"This never happened... I ... didn't do this, okay? I don't ... want her knowing anything."

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live_alie
2008-07-06 06:30 am UTC (link)

Emily didn't know how she managed to half carry Dean's weight down the block and up to his apartment but she breathed in a sigh of relief when he finally plopped down on his bed. She managed to untie his boots and pull them off but she drew the line at undressing him so she only unbuttoned his shirt as he basically fell over.

She leaned over to pull the blanket up over him when he grabbed her by her wrist. "Don't worry." She promised him as he let go and she pulled the blanket over him and patted him on the shoulder a little. "Your secret is safe with me." She promised him.

Walking into his kitchen she poured him a glass of water and walked back into the bedroom to set it down on the nightstand. By then, the sound of his gentle snoring had already begun to fill up the room.

She sighed and pressed her mouth into a firm line again, watching him for a minute. She sure hoped that tomorrow things would look a little brighter and either way she planned on masterminding this whole situation away. Tomorrow she planned on talking to Solvei.

"Goodnight, Dean." She said to him, turning off the light and heading out of his apartment.

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