InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Live long and prosper"

darkhairedgryff (darkhairedgryff) wrote in unexpectedrpg,
@ 2008-07-14 15:26:00

Entry tags:

daphne greengrass, harry potter

WHO: Harry and Daphne
WHEN: Late Sunday Night
WHERE: The House
WHAT: Thinking and Talking
RATING: tba
STATUS: Closed / In Progress

After the much needed conversation with Ginny, Harry had not taken up much more of her time. It was obvious she was tired after working so many hours and Harry wasn't about to keep her occupied for too long. This wasn't Hogwarts and they both had things to do. She needed rest and he needed to attempt to piece his life back together. The question of the night seemed to be "how?". He'd actually returned home a good hour ago, but hadn't gone inside yet. Instead, he'd been hanging out on the back section of the roof, simply watching the sky and attempting to organize his thoughts. He'd never had to deal with jealousy before and he simply didn't know how to handle it. It was still simmering beneath the surface, but now at a manageable level.

An hour in the cool air, didn't really give him any of the answers he was looking for, but it had helped him relax a bit. Finally pushing himself up, he apparated back to the ground and quietly went inside. He didn't know if Daphne was or not. A part of him hoped she was and the other wished she'd gone to sleep a while ago. Kicking off his shoes he moved further into the house. As he reached the hall, the door to Daphne's room made him pause. It wasn't closed as he expected it to be, instead sitting open. Letting out a small sigh, he moved to lean against her door frame. He didn't say anything, simply watched her. Lately that's all he seemed to be able to do correctly.

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ex_transcend779
2008-07-14 02:35 pm UTC (link)

It had seemed like ages since Harry and Daphne spoke, but she was alright with that. Him not coming home was probably the best idea he could have made. Especially when Daphne was still really upset. Adrian said she was jealous, and yes, yes she was. She had good reason to be. Ginny was his best friend and ex girlfriend, or something along those lines. She had never let that bother her until now, but even so, she figured it'd happen eventually. Having told Adrian to stay at her old flat, she figured she could use this time to work things out internally, and perhaps even with Harry. Obviously, things needed to be worked out.

She heard footsteps, but decided not to stir. Bed came quite some time ago, though she didn't go in there to sleep, more like just to marinade in her thoughts for a bit. Daphne knew she was in the wrong for inviting Adrian to stay without asking Harry, but at the time, she wanted to do something for him. She listened as the footsteps approached her door and stopped. Part of her wanted to get up and slam the door in his face, or at least just yell at him. Instead, however, Daphne rolled over and faced that direction, holding the sheets tight to her as she peered over at him. Why did she keep messing things up? The more and more things would start to get good, the worse she fudged up with him.

An apology was in order, but she couldn't open her mouth to do such a thing. Instead, she stayed silent, eyes filled with determination as she hoped he'd come sit with her.

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darkhairedgryff
2008-07-14 02:54 pm UTC (link)

Harry hadn't been expecting her to be still up, so he was a bit surprised when she'd stirred and turned over to face him. He wasn't sure how he was suppose to fix this or if she wanted him to fix this. Like he'd told Ginny, lately he'd been feeling even more lost then ever. He didn't know how to handle a relationship and it seemed like he was taking wrong turns every chance he got. For every step he took in the wrong direction, he took three more in the wrong, leaving him off-balanced and out of sorts. But he figured, things had to eventually get better...at least he hoped they would.

It took some effort on his part to push away from the door and take a step further into the room. He felt strangely like he shouldn't be there, but moved forward anyway, his feet sinking in the soft carpet. Eventually reaching the bed, he took up the spot beside her and for a moment continued to watch her. He wanted to say he was sorry, he wanted to say a variety of different things to make this better, but nothing seemed to want to come out.

Eventually, he reached out to gently brush some hair from her face. "You should be sleeping," he said, quietly. It seemed the only thing he could say without messing it up. It couldn't mean anything more or less.

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ex_transcend779
2008-07-14 03:14 pm UTC (link)

Daphne had felt the exact same, knowing that no matter what they did right, they would do two things wrong and ruin everything that they had worked for. The thought of that was sickening and it dawned on her that marriage shouldn't be like that. Was is really so hard to build a relationship around an arranged marriage? More and more she knew she wanted to be with Harry, even if it was frowned upon, but she couldn't find herself doing anything right to show him that. Why was this so bloody hard for her? Was it all those years after France and being alone that made her this way? When she looked at it like that, she realized she never really had a relationship before and she wasn't sure how to deal with these things properly. Fantastic.

Watching him as he willed himself to her bed, she tried to smile, but it just came out as a sympathetic glance. She couldn't even smile to reassure him that she was okay. What kind of wife was she? When he pushed her hair away, Daphne sat up a little, though really didn't want to take the effort to move a whole lot. Of course she should have been asleep, but she felt that she had to wait up for him, make sure he was okay and that he'd make it home safely.

"I was worried," she said quietly, gazing up at him. At least he had sat with her, rather than just stood in the doorway. That showed that there was something there to work with and Daphne was thankful for that. Maybe if they didn't talk about what had happened, they could go on pretending it didn't happen. That would be her optimum solution, but she was convinced Harry didn't feel the same.

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darkhairedgryff
2008-07-14 03:36 pm UTC (link)

Having her say she was worried was another sharp little twist in his chest. He didn't want her to have to worry and yet this was the second time, he'd done so. She shouldn't have to be constantly worried and he knew that. "I don't want you to worry about me, Daphne." he responded, quietly. He'd been through the anger, disappointment, jealousy, guilt. There was nothing really left but honesty, and he figured there really was no harm in that ... at least it couldn't cause any more harm then he already had. "I'm always going to come home."

He'd said he was in this completely and he fully intended on keeping that promise, despite what was thrown at him and how badly he handled it. He hoped, for both their sakes that nothing else came spiraling at them unexpectedly. He figured, he might be able to handle one thing at a time, but anything more then that would surely lead to chaos, particularly if this was the result they got.

Harry sighed quietly. Despite knowing it would be easier to just ignore what had happened, he couldn't allow himself to do that. It would eat away at him until he said something, which would only build a bigger wall between them. "I haven't exactly...had the opportunity to trust a lot of people, but I know I can trust you and I want to, it's just going to take me a bit to get used to being able to put my complete trust in someone." he responded, his voice just a low as it had been when he'd first spoken. "I shouldn't have said half of what I did earlier and I didn't mean any of it. I just ... well, I can see first hand why anyone from your past would want you back and I didn't want to lose out on something I would have missed."

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ex_transcend779
2008-07-14 04:59 pm UTC (link)

Giving a solemn nod, she had nothing to say to that. She knew he'd be home, still, when they fought like that, she wondered if he'd keep his word. Hopefully that would be the case. Hopefully they wouldn't fight like that anymore, either. Daphne had the feeling she wouldn't be so lucky in that case. Still, hoping never hurt anyone and she was willing to try this all over again. She trusted Harry, it was hard not to. He fixed everything that was bad in their world and he never faltered. At least not in her eyes. She never knew him in school, or even before the past couple of weeks, but she did have to give him some credit.

Had she known what he was thinking about being able to handle one thing at a time, Daphne would have fully agreed. She was the type of person who was either all in or not in at all. With Harry, she was all in, but she wondered if maybe it was the right decision. It had to have been. If it were anyone else, Daphne figured she wouldn't have felt nearly as strongly as she did about Harry. Ugh. Why did this even have to happen? It was so bloody confusing.

Daphne blinked, hearing what he had to say. She understood about trusting her. Hell, if Daphne were him, she probably wouldn't have trusted herself, but she had to and she knew someday, he was going to. Her hand slid over to his and laced her fingers in with his own, trying to reassure him. "You're not going to lose out on anything. Not with me, at least." Her voice was low, and even a bit husky from crying, but that wasn't important. "I should have asked. We have a past, but that's it. A past." She sighed quietly and sat up a little more. "I don't want to upset you."

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darkhairedgryff
2008-07-14 05:16 pm UTC (link)

Everything about the situation was eating away at him. He didn't want her to worry about him in general let alone worry about upsetting him. How in the world would they be able to function properly if that was their basis, and the worst part was that he hadn't done anything to prevent the creation of such a mentality. If anything, he'd only added to it.

When she sat up, he moved forward to brush a light kiss to her forehead, before resting his own against hers. This was far harder then he ever thought it would be, but he'd never given up before and he wasn't about to start now. Every thing he had he had because he'd had to work hard for it. It didn't make sense that something like this wouldn't be easy. "Eventually, we're going to step on each others toes." he responded, with a small sigh. "That's life. We both know that. We just have to learn to handle it together instead of building up this wall between us."

He supposed that was easier said then done, but again, he wanted to be where he was. If he was going to keep that he was going to have to work at it, which meant starting right then.

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ex_transcend779
2008-07-14 05:27 pm UTC (link)

As he kissed her forehead, she let out a slight whimper. No, she wasn't going to cry. That was past her now and she was ready to forget it all happened. She almost just wanted to give up, but she knew she couldn't. The sad thing was, emotionally, she was too far into this with him to ever give up or turn a cheek, but mentally, some aspects of their marriage were destroying her. Mostly the arguments over such trivial things. That was all on her, however. Daphne knew she had all sorts of anger and jealousy and other issues to deal with on her end, she just never wanted to have to deal with them. Popular to contrary belief, Daphne was one to try to avoid conflict at all cost. Regardless of the situation.

The truth that they would step on each others toes was a hard truth for her to take in. She was a perfectionist and seeing her marriage not being quite so perfect destroyed her a little. He didn't need to know that, though. Harry only needed to know how she felt if she showed him. What was on the inside was hers to deal with in time. She had told him they wouldn't be okay this time, but she knew they would be fine. Or at least she hoped that.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her eyes closing tightly as she felt the rims of her eyes stinging. He could have told her anything in the world to reassure her that things would be okay, but she needed to feel that way on her own terms. She was still upset over what happened, mostly because she had done something wrong and she never thought she could do something wrong. A fight caused by a bad decision on her part was what was driving her crazy. She could get no break on this one.

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darkhairedgryff
2008-07-14 05:54 pm UTC (link)

The very last thing he wanted to do was make her cry and he was willing to do almost anything to make sure she didn't. He knew that his desire to prevent it wasn't about to do very much for their current situation, but it was still there. He shifted closer for a moment to wrap his arms around her, offering as much comfort as he could .. which was probably very little. He was more determined then ever to make this work.

"We both are, but this will work out in the end, we just have to make it that far." he murmured, holding her tightly. Ginny had been correct in reminding him that change never happened immediately. He'd obviously forgotten that. Perhaps realizing that and acting accordingly would allow them to make it through the rougher spots. He hoped it would. He wasn't ready to let this go and doubted he would ever be.

After several minutes of just holding her, he loosened his arms and pulled back slightly. "Will you come with me for a little bit? I found something earlier, but it didn't seem quite right." he asked, watching her for any more signs of tears or distress. "I think I know what was missing."

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ex_transcend779
2008-07-14 06:53 pm UTC (link)

Daphne willed herself not to cry. Not in front of him, at least. She had that kind of control over her mind and body. As he wrapped his arms around her, Daphne buried her face into his neck, hiding it and hiding herself from their current situation. It wasn't so bad now, but she just didn't like being seen in this condition. At least she was willing to put it all behind her and forget this ever happened, even if it was what would bring them a little closer. Hopefully, that thought wouldn't jinx anything.

Sadly, Daphne didn't even remember why she was so angry to begin with. Maybe she wasn't angry, just upset that Harry couldn't level with her on letting Adrian stay with them. And poor Adrian, caught in this situation he definitely had nothing to do with. But he was right, Daphne was jealous when Harry said he'd go to Ginny's. That was what angered her.

When he pulled away, she wanted to just cling to him and make this all stop, but she wasn't so lucky. Hearing him speak, she raised her eyebrows and blinked. "Yeah, sure."

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darkhairedgryff
2008-07-14 07:14 pm UTC (link)

Harry smiled softly when she agreed. They weren't going far just...up. He kissed her forehead once more before releasing her and removing himself from her bed. Once she was out of the blankets, Harry pulled all but the bottom sheet off the bed. Strange behaviour, he knew but it would make sense when he was finished. Stopping in front of her he smiled lightly and stole a kiss. "Grab a sweater. I don't want you to be cold."

He could see the question in her eyes but didn't explain. Disappearing for a moment, he moved the blankets to where they needed to be before apparating back into her room. He waited patiently for her to put on a sweater, before holding out a hand to her. "You'll have to hold on to me for a second." he instructed. They could get there without apparating but he didn't want her to fall.

Once she was in his arms again, he apparated them to his earlier spot on the roof. A very strange destination, but one that held much more then simple shingles. He'd put her blankets down, not wanting to subject her skin to the rough texture of the roof.

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ex_transcend779
2008-07-14 07:27 pm UTC (link)

Daphne eyed him curiously, wondering what on earth he was doing and why he was telling her to get a sweater. Was it even chilly outside? Surely it was, she had been inside all day and hadn't bothered to even open a window for air. Had it been fifty below zero, Daphne would not have known. She blinked as he pulled at her blankets and messed around a bit, but she obliged and grabbed a sweater off of her bed post. She slid it over her arms and waited for him to apparate back after the first time he had disappeared.

When he was back, Daphne took his hand, then moved herself even closer and into his arms. She did as she was told, holding onto him, her head resting against his chest lightly. She had no idea what in the hell he was doing, but now she was certainly intrigued. Curious, confused, intrigued. Several words described her in that moment.

Once they had appareted to the roof, Daphne opened her eyes, having previously shut them before apparating and looked at him, then around. Not expecting to be on the roof, Daphne startled and grasped onto him quickly before composing herself and looking at him. He was so sweet to do this for her, it showed that he cared more than he even had to. A small smile took purchase on her lips as she looked up at him. This was pretty good.

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darkhairedgryff
2008-07-14 07:38 pm UTC (link)

Harry grinned when she gasped and grabbed onto him, his own arms wrapping back around her, protecting her from something he knew she really didn't needed protection against. "Don't worry, you won't fall. I promise." There were several different places along the top of their home that were relatively level, but it was this one that offered the best view.

After a moment, he released her. It wasn't too chilly up here, but it was cool enough and he figured it would only get colder the later it got. A sweater hadn't been such a bad idea. Stepping away from her, he grabbed a spot on the blanket and went back to the position he'd had earlier that night; lying on his back, an arm under his head. "Come here," he instructed lightly, holding out a hand for her to join him.

When she did, his free arm moved back around her. Nodding upward he smiled. That was the real reason he came up here. Unlike in the city, the sky here was perfectly clear, dark shades of blue and black intermingling and spotted with the what looked like every star imaginable. "I used to do this at Hogwarts. I'm sure I would have spent weeks in detention if they caught me on the roofs, but it would have been worth it. It was escape." he explained, taking in the sight. "I haven't shared this with anyone. Not Ron, Hermione, or even Ginny. This is just us."

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ex_transcend779
2008-07-14 08:19 pm UTC (link)

"I know," she mumbled with a bit of a grin. She knew he wouldn't let her fall, but her first initial reaction was to hold onto him when she saw that they were on the roof. She had never really thought of what it would be like on the roof, but now she knew what it was like. Looking around, she admired the view, looking at ever inch of land that she could see, then up at the sky. "It's beautiful," she whispered, more to herself than to him.

Daphne watched as he laid down, and when he offered his hand, she took it willingly, moving in the same position on the blanket, closing in on his person as he put an arm around her. She liked the closeness they had, even if they had their rough moments. At least at the end of the day, she knew she had arms to lay in.

It was weird to hear he did this at Hogwarts. Idly, she wondered how he managed to crawl his way up there without apparating. It really didn't matter to her, she was just glad he shared something with her. Something that not even his closest friends knew about. "Really?" she asked, turning her head towards him, a slight smile being given.

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darkhairedgryff
2008-07-14 08:33 pm UTC (link)

There was a closeness between them that Harry had come to love and for a moment today, he'd been afraid that perhaps he'd lost that. It was soothing to realize that despite it all that was still something they had. It didn't really matter if they were on the couch or up here, watching the stars, but he was glad he could share it with someone else.

"Really." he laughed lightly, taking a moment more to stare upward before turning to meet her gaze. "They're beautiful and often calming when your alone, but it's not the same as being up here with someone else. This was what was missing. You."

Everything was always so much better when you had someone to share it with. It didn't matter what it was. From the big things right down to the smallest. "I think I'm going to love the country." he smiled, stealing a brief kiss. He didn't just mean the country. There were more to his words then he was quite ready to let on. He'd much rather be out here with her then back in the city alone.

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ex_transcend779
2008-07-14 09:21 pm UTC (link)

When she was younger, Daphne had always laid out by the pool or somewhere in the grass to look at the starts, but as she got older, she lost the desire to do such trivial things. However, once she was introduced back into it, having been in the city for several years, it was a very nice change of pace. Especially after the day she had just had. Harry was right, it was calming.

A small smile tugged at her lips as she heard his words. Another 'really' would have been in order, though repetition wasn't exactly Daphne's strong suit. Instead, she let her smile widen, kissing him gently. "I'm glad you shared this with me," she admitted quietly. Out of all the people, it was Daphne he chose to tell. That had to mean something, right?

Hearing him say he'd love the country, Daphne let out a quiet laugh, though it was more her agreeing than anything else. "I think I already do," and while her words may or may not have had a double meaning to them, he could take them whichever way he wanted. Considering she had grown up in the country, she had always loved it, but this was a whole different experience for her.

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