InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "All you base are..."

Alma Del Mar Jr (Brokeback Mountain) (daddysliljunior) wrote in undertherainbow,
@ 2008-02-28 20:33:00

Entry tags:

alma del mar jr, bobby twist, ennis del mar, mark house

[Alma's filter with the below label is set so Bobby, Ennis, Jack, and Mark can read it.]

For 'bout th'course of a year now, I been goin' out a day every s'often t'come home sick f'several. I done told people it was everythn' from a stomach flu t'thinkin' I might be pregnant.

Well, fact o'th'matter is I was goin' t'chemotherapy. I got Ovarian cancer, an' I been tryin' t'treat it real quiet. But I went t'see Carlos an' h'says it got shrunk, but 't'aint gone by a long shot.

Aint told nobody 'cause I thought I could get rid 'f it before I'd need to, but it don't seem t'wanna go. Don't need nobody's pity, neither.

Dad, 's ok. S'gonna be ok too.

Daddy Jack, make sure he don't go blamin' himself or talkin' stupid none.

Bobby, reckon this is somethin' w'should tell Andrew t'gether.

Mark, saw Jaime's 'round 'gain. If'n 'wanna spend more time w'th'er, 's fine. I un'erstand. Thank you f'bein' as supportive as y'have.

I'm fine, but th'chemo makes m'sicker than a dog, so when I get it, I need y'all to help take care of Andrew, take him t'do things, maybe take him by f'a night or so. An' y'all can see this 'cause I mean y'all, ifany one of you wants t'help, y'more than welcome.

But I can take care of m'self.

(Post a new comment)

Alma

myfathersson
2008-02-29 02:11 am UTC (link)

I wish you would have told me, Alma. I- do you know your doctor, here? Like them? I just- one of my 'fathers', or at least a version of him, is here, he's an oncologist. One of the best. He can.. I can ask him to look into treatments, something else that might work, if you want me to.

And Jaime... no. It's not like that, Alma. She's- she's not the girl I fell in love with. We understand each other- I'm not looking for anything from her. She has her career, and her friends, and I'm... she married a much older, I have to hope more mature, version of me. I'm not looking for- I told you, whatever happens, I'm going to be here. And I am.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Mark

daddysliljunior
2008-02-29 02:32 am UTC (link)

He's Boby's..interest. And one of m'boss's. Don' mind him a whole lot none but if'n you know someoe who works with cancer, I wouldn't fight y'onnit.

Mark, 's like I said. I dont want ou innis 'cause you pity me, so if that's been it, y'need t'say somethin' now, becaue I definitely don't see you th'way I did the night we got coffee. Most people can't be so casual 'bout outcomes if they care, and it sort of scares me that y'are.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Mark

myfathersson
2008-02-29 02:47 am UTC (link)

I can ask him to contact you. Dr. Wilson, James I'm sure he'll tell you to call him. It's his specialty.

Alma, no. I- it's depressing to think about, but I've dealt with a lot of loss in my life. I spent a year away from my parents in the bar at the end of the universe when I was six. Then I ended up here, with another group of parents I didn't know. My dad lost his leg over Christmas, and I- I've grown crazy used to going with the flow. Don't think I'm not worried- God, Alma, I'd be stupid not to.

But... you don't need to listen to me going on about it, you've got enough to deal with. I mean it. I care about you, and I want to help. But I know as well as anybody, that fawning over you and changing how I talk to you isn't going to do a damn thing. That's it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mark daddysliljunior 2008-02-29 03:03 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. 'm sorry, 's fine. Guess seein'her there, actually felt really threatened. An' I didn't like it none. I aint got no more t'deal with than I did since we met. I just got more open about it. I wanna know you're there, an' 's lon as y'are, I'll be fine. M'Daddy's gonna go crazy o'er this, 'm gonna need you and your nonchalance through it'all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Alma

myfathersson
2008-02-29 03:17 am UTC (link)

Don't be sorry. I told you, my main role model as a kid was a bit of a dick. I know I don't have the... emotional range that I should, when it comes to on things like this. But I do care, and I'll do whatever I can to help you out. If you want Andrew to come spend time with me and the girls, in New York, just lemme know. Anytime.

I can imagine your Dad's going to be a bit... yeah. But Wilson's dealt with lots of very odd reactions to this news. If you want him to go over the basics with your dad, to save you the trouble, or so he can hear it from a doctor, or whatever, I'm sure he'd do it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Alma

daddysliljunior
2008-02-29 03:26 am UTC (link)

Yeah well, no one's perfect, right? :-P It's ok, it was just me, freakin' out for a minute. I'll see what Drew says about a day soon, I'm rally no fun for any of you to be 'round when I'm in treatment.

I. .don't know. I'll talk to him first and see, because shoving a professional in front of him? Might make it worse. We'll see.

He said he wouldn't hit ya if'n y'met. 'less you gave him a reason, and you wouldn't.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Alma myfathersson 2008-02-29 03:48 am UTC (link)
	Okay. I- well, I don't think my saying anything to your dad would do any good right now, but you can tell him, I'll be around any time he wants to talk. I- I hope you're feeling well, Alma. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Mark

daddysliljunior
2008-02-29 03:59 am UTC (link)

I was just lettin' ya know.

That sounded too much like a goodbye.

Don't forget those five things you can never get enough of, or our special sixth. I plan to live a long life and add each of those things t'my life, slowly but surely. I aint even goin' t'blink an eye for this cancer, Mark.

And if it everg ets you down, and you ever get to thinking I might be another thing t'lose, listen to your song, Mark. I'll always be alive and well in your song.

Listenng to it made today a hell of a lot easier for me, baby.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Alma myfathersson 2008-02-29 04:22 am UTC (link)
	No, not... I love you, okay? Now that... it doesn't have to mean anything, I just- I feel like an idiot for how bad I've wanted to say it, and keep... finding reasons not to. So, I said it. To quote my sisters, the end. And you're right. About the song. I'm.. just being stupid. Forget it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Mark

daddysliljunior
2008-02-29 04:34 am UTC (link)

Y'know what the really scary part is?

'm pretty sure I love you too.

I feel really terrible, now. I never should have made a move, I should have turned you down for coffee. . blah blah blah. In the end, Mark, if anything does happen you're gonna get hurt and I wont feel a bit good about that.

But it's not the most lethal kinda cancer a girl can get, and we caught it early when we did. I know when you hear it the first thing y'think is death, but I'm gonna call Dr. Wilon, first thing inna morning. And I'm gonna fight it.

I got a lot to live for, lot more than t'die for. Shit, I aint got no reason to die. Whether it means anythin' or not, no matter what kind, there's love there. Love's somethin' that you cant put a timer on, Mark. And it aint somethin that makes sense neither. I'm sure you know that.

Know- that as long as I got air in my lungs, and red in my fair, I plan to fight as long and hard as I can, and I plan to die a little old lady, maybe you'll be there when I do, maybe not. But I got me a baby t'raise, a family I love, and a good man.

Plus it aint gettin' me 'fore I get through college, done waited too long t'start.

Try and rest easy? And if'n you need when you aint here, y'know y'can call and just listen to me pick up the phone, make sure I'm ok. I am ok, and I will be ok.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Alma

myfathersson
2008-02-29 04:47 am UTC (link)

I know. Jimmy used to talk about his patients, sometimes. It- I can't claim to know a whole lot, but I know it's not the death sentence a lot of people think it is. I really do think it'll be good for you, to talk to him. He's a good guy, and a better doctor, if it's possible.

I- I can't tell you how much it made me smile to read that. And you're right. You're gonna get through this. And everyone who loves you is going to help you, myself included. Okay?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Mark

daddysliljunior
2008-02-29 04:55 am UTC (link)

Cross m'heart an' hope t'live, I will get in touch with him before I take Drew t'the ranch so Bobby an' I can tell him.

You're so cute when you stutter, baby. Yessir, you might have t'help me shave m'head bald, 'cause I reckon I don't want m'Daddy t'try an' do it if I have to.

I'll call t'say g'night every night we're not in th'same place, ok? You'll have that assurance.

When I'm cancer free we'll have the part of th'century.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Alma myfathersson 2008-02-29 05:02 am UTC (link)
	Good. Drop my or Greg's name, and he'll get you in whenever you want. Of course I will. I'll shave too- we'll start a fashion trend. And a hat collection, cause that's cold, from what I hear. I'd love that, baby. And damn right we're going to party. Whatever you want, however you want, wherever you want. I'll make it happen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mark daddysliljunior 2008-02-29 05:07 am UTC (link)
	Gotta say, like the sound of that. You would? You don't gotta. But I gotta admit, th'hat collection? Would be kickass. So would I. God, you're so sweet. Y'need t'stop spoiling me. Or. .not. Whatever works. But we'll talk about it when we come to it, and it probably wont be long from now. I have faith it wont be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Alma

myfathersson
2008-02-29 05:10 am UTC (link)

Good, cause that's the point.

I very rarely say things I don't mean. And if my bio-Dad can shave one of my eyebrows off in his free time, I can shave my head by choice. It'd probably look a lot less weird, too- even though I'm guessing I couldn't make it look as hot as you.

Where's the fun in that? I was a spoiled brat of a kid. I'm just doing my part to even out the system. Not to mention, me stopping would mean you didn't deserve it, which is bunk.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Mark

daddysliljunior
2008-02-29 05:16 am UTC (link)

:-p See this face? You taugh it to me, so I'ma use it on you every time I can!

Where 'zactly is he in the world?

I didn't say y'didn't mean it, but if y'want to, I wont stop you. I kinda like the thought of running my hands over your head with it all shaved. Hmmm.

You need to stop finding ways to turn me on, mister.

Guess I aint as used t'it, wa'n't spoiled with much but m'Daddy's love as a kid. It was the 60's/70's tho, wa'n't much else they could spoil us with.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Alma

myfathersson
2008-02-29 05:27 am UTC (link)

Well, then :-P to you too!

The Wilson you want is in New York City. The other one is in London.

That almost makes me want to do it, regardless. And if I stopped finding ways to turn you on, I might become boring. And if I become boring, you'll find someone else, and I don't want you to find someone else, so... I guess you'll just have to learn to deal with being hot for me.

Well, then, I guess that's something else you'll have to get used to, because I've been told I'm very good at it, and I happen to enjoy it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mark daddysliljunior 2008-02-29 05:34 am UTC (link)
	:* Gotcha, guess I'ma be spendin' more time in N'York then. Oh, I guess so. I don't want you to free, don't do it regardless, maybe just get it cut really short, so it's similar. I like touching your head no matter how much hair you've got. Then you better get ready t'get spoiled right back. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Alma

myfathersson
2008-02-29 05:37 am UTC (link)

You know you've always got a place in the city, while you're here. I don't know what hospital he's setting up shop at, come to think, since Kent got destroyed, but I'm sure he can take a look regardless.

Well, in that case, I'm glad you said something now, because I happen to like my hair, so I'll keep it for now.

You know you don't have to, but I'd be a fool to flat-out tell you not to, wouldn't I?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mark daddysliljunior 2008-02-29 05:44 am UTC (link)
	I know, baby. I wouldn't think t'stay elsewhere. We'll see how that all works out when we get there. Right now? It's about my bedtime. I like it too, you might not even have to shave mine, if it starts falling out, but otherwise, you wont. A damn fool, and I wouldn't listen nonetheless. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Junior quiet_cowboy 2008-02-29 02:40 am UTC (link)
	Ain't nothin' okay 'bout this, Junior. Y'strong, an' I know it. Don't mean I'm gonna stand by an' watch y'go through this alone. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Daddy daddysliljunior 2008-02-29 02:58 am UTC (link)
	It's fine Daddy, don't go makin' no big deal outta it. Y'can't hold my hand through everythin'. I'm more worried 'bout Rudy than anythin' else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Junior quiet_cowboy 2008-03-01 02:10 am UTC (link)
	Don't go makin' no big deal. Listen t' y'self, Junior. Cancer is a mighty big deal, and don't you pr'tend otherwise. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Daddy daddysliljunior 2008-03-01 02:54 am UTC (link)
	Daddy, y'can't be worryin', 't'aint th'end of th'world. Y'got that ranch t'be lookin' after and I got a mighty good doctor that Mark asked t'help m'out, and I got Mark. I'm gonna be fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Junior quiet_cowboy 2008-03-01 03:25 am UTC (link)
	I got men t'work th'ranch, and jack t'be lookin' aft'a it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Daddy daddysliljunior 2008-03-01 03:43 am UTC (link)
	Why're you so determined, Pa? Aint nothin' you can do, lettin' me stay home in bed for a day aint gonna help this sickness. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Junior quiet_cowboy 2008-03-01 03:54 am UTC (link)
	Don't mean I ain't gonna worry none, Junior. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Daddy daddysliljunior 2008-03-01 04:06 am UTC (link)
	's fine t'worry, but there aint nothin' y'can do, Dad. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Junior quiet_cowboy 2008-03-01 04:21 am UTC (link)
	'Specially not if y'won't even let me take care o'you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Daddy daddysliljunior 2008-03-01 04:27 am UTC (link)
	Fine, Dad, how d'you propose t'do 'at? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Junior quiet_cowboy 2008-03-01 05:00 am UTC (link)
	I reckon I'd start by takin' care o'Drew when y'need it. Maybe even helpin' ya get t'college like y'want. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Daddy daddysliljunior 2008-03-01 05:08 am UTC (link)
	Now aint really th'time t'be startin' school, Daddy. Chemo makes me real sick when I get it. But it'd be nice t'have you boys helpin' out with Drew when I get sick lik that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Junior quiet_cowboy 2008-03-01 05:12 am UTC (link)
	Y'know y'don't even have t'ask. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Alma twisted_fate 2008-02-29 02:43 am UTC (link)
	Y'been livin' wi'this f'a a year, and y'ain't said nothing? Shit, Alma. How soon y'wanna tell th'boy? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Bobby daddysliljunior 2008-02-29 03:00 am UTC (link)
	I said more than y'think. Tha's why I flipped out on you for not pullin' out so many times. I don't not want chil'ren, I aint supposed to have no more. Not t'night, he's sleepin', I'll come by with him t'morrow an' we'll sit him down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Alma twisted_fate 2008-03-01 02:14 am UTC (link)
	A'aight. Y'know where t'fine me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bobby daddysliljunior 2008-03-01 05:09 am UTC (link)
	Yessir, we'll be seein' ya. (Reply to this) (Parent)