InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's not your fault"

Tobias Beecher [Oz] (otherofoz) wrote in undertherainbow,
@ 2008-02-25 23:34:00

Entry tags:

chris keller, tobias beecher

[Chris] I fucked up. I really, really fucked up.

I'm sorry.

[Private] Ray and Pete were right. I love him too much, and it's going to get me fucking killed. I almost feel like I deserve it.

'Hope Saïd's been putting in a good word for me, with Allah. S'looking like I could use it.

(Post a new comment)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 04:40 am UTC (link)
	Yeah. Fine. Whatever. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Keller otherofoz 2008-02-26 04:45 am UTC (link)
	Let me make it up to you. Or something. I wasn't thinking- the shakes were fucking nuts, I couldn't... No fucking excuses, it was a piece of shit thing for me to do. I want to make it up to you. Please. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 04:49 am UTC (link)
	What the fuck could you do, huh? Doesn't matter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Keller otherofoz 2008-02-26 04:55 am UTC (link)
	Whatever you want. Yes, it does. Chris, please. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 05:04 am UTC (link)
	How does it feel, Beecher? How does it fucking feel? You fucked up and now you gotta do something, anything to make it fucking better. I'm not helping you, Beecher. I don't care. I don't. I fucked up, too, obviously. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Keller otherofoz 2008-02-26 05:08 am UTC (link)
	Don't do this. Don't you fucking shove me out on my ass for trying to- I was trying to- Wait, what? You didn't do anything, baby. I- the dope- you want me in rehab? I'll do it. Fuck, lock me in the house for a week to sleep it off, just don't- (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 05:21 am UTC (link)
	~~I show you how much I fucking care, I try, I try and you fucking run off. I try and it's wrong, I loved that so much and I'm disgusting for it, I hate it.~~ I don't care if you fucking get high, Beecher. Hell, I'll get high with you. Whatever. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Keller

otherofoz
2008-02-26 05:30 am UTC (link)

No. You're not disgusting, Chris, stop. I wasn't running from that. I loved it, and it... God, and you say I'm thick sometimes.

Chris, I love you. And... call me a fag, hate me for it all you want, but.. last night was perfect, you were... are perfect, here, and it... scared me, okay? I was convinced that I was going to... snap out of this shit, wake up back on the bus and have this all just being a fucking huge joke on me. So.. I panicked. I ran.

If one of us is disgusting, it's me. And I don't deserve you saying it's alright, but... no, there's nothing else. I- I'm sorry, Chris.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 05:42 am UTC (link)
	Where the fuck are you, anyway? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Chris otherofoz 2008-02-26 05:51 am UTC (link)
	Santa Barbra. It's where the portkey was. I- Are you still in California? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 05:53 am UTC (link)
	What the fuck do you think? I was waiting for you like some asshole. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Chris otherofoz 2008-02-26 05:56 am UTC (link)
	Just- stay there, okay? I'll be back, ten minutes, we can... talk, fuck, you can kick the shit out of me for all I care. Just be there, please. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 05:59 am UTC (link)
	Whatever. I'll be here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Chris otherofoz 2008-02-26 06:01 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. I love you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 06:02 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, whatever. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Chris otherofoz 2008-02-26 06:12 am UTC (link)
	Don't do this. Please, Chris. Baby, please. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 06:16 am UTC (link)
	I didn't do anything. I'm not doing fucking anything, Beecher. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Chris otherofoz 2008-02-26 06:17 am UTC (link)
	That's why I'm 'Beecher' again, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 06:24 am UTC (link)
	Listen, Toby, I can be just as fucking pissed and call you whatever the fuck I want, alright? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Chris otherofoz 2008-02-26 06:26 am UTC (link)
	You're right. You're not going to let me fix this. Drop a line when you calm the fuck down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 06:27 am UTC (link)
	What the Hell? You're leaving me here? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Chris otherofoz 2008-02-26 06:31 am UTC (link)
	You don't sound like you have any interest in seeing me. And contrary to popular belief, I'm not interested in pounding my head against a wall, faced with the prospect of dope withdrawl. It's your choice. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Beecher willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 06:33 am UTC (link)
	~~I love you and I hate myself. Any way to fucking switch, so I don't have to fucking see myself but I can see you?~~ I want to see you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Chris otherofoz 2008-02-26 06:49 am UTC (link)
	I'll be there in ten minutes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Toby willkillfortoby 2008-02-26 07:04 am UTC (link)
	Okay. (Reply to this) (Parent)