Kitt
Just don't ask. You'll never understand it until you get up out of that hole you're in and someday it comes to be your turn to do the same for someone. Then you won't wonder anymore, you won't be able to turn away, and that's why.
Why don't I come get you and take you to Sable's shop? The folks there are friends, and it's a little less bonkers than Riordan's leprechaun-burrow.