Well, I ought to be on a bum-eff-nowhere island west of Haiti, keeping track of a settlement of renegades. I haven't the vaguest idea where I am now, but it's too cold to be anywhere near Haiti, I can tell you that much.
Oh yes, the parallel world that my friends spoke about last time they were around. Lovely. Wouldn't that just be pleasant. Delightful even... right, that would make some semblance of sense.
Ah. I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm Agent Sands. And what's your name, sweets?