InsaneJournal

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Ophelia/Ophelia Jensen (love_remember) wrote in undertherainbow,
@ 2008-11-06 20:02:00

Entry tags:

ophelia, soren skwigelf

I had a first meeting with the person who would be trying to find me.

I...think it did not go so well.

I got upset.

I'm still sort of groggy from the sedatives.

I am so ashamed of myself.

(Post a new comment)

	superstrange 2008-11-06 08:46 pm UTC (link)
	What happened? (Reply to this) (Thread)

love_remember
2008-11-06 08:52 pm UTC (link)

She seemed like a nice enough woman, and she was. But she began talking about how my father--the father of the woman I replaced--had recently died and that I was needed to help with the business he left me.

And I just...I couldn't stand it. I do not entirely remember what I did but I do know that I woke up in a bed with my arms strapped down and I'd been sedated.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2008-11-06 08:56 pm UTC (link)
	Ahh, but if they let you out this much, to type, it must not have been too very bad. Have you asked anyone about it? Would you like me to come by? I could inquire? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-06 09:02 pm UTC (link)
	They said only that I'd been very upset. I know that it was about my father. I find it very difficult to talk about him. Like now, for instance. I'm already crying. But I know my name is Ophelia Jensen. I have the same first name. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2008-11-06 09:07 pm UTC (link)
	I am sorry. That's a start, right? Knowing who you are supposed to be here and now? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-06 09:09 pm UTC (link)
	It is. I hope that I may become used to all of this. The woman's name was Ms. Torres. She was a very lovely woman and she looked nice. I only wish that I hadn't become so very upset. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2008-11-06 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe we can find out more. I will try, before I visit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-06 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	I would appreciate that. I think, perhaps, that I should begin keeping a journal. The doctors have suggested such and maybe I could keep better track of my whirling thoughts if I write them down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2008-11-06 09:17 pm UTC (link)
	This could be done, I think, either in writing, or here, on the computer. I-- I kept one, sometimes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-06 09:18 pm UTC (link)
	I was thinking to write one for now. You did? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2008-11-06 09:20 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. When I first arrived. It was a very confusing time. I needed... something to express myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-06 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	Did it help? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2008-11-06 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	Some. Sometimes I'd think stupid things, or get mad because of what had happened. And I would just want top express it. So I did, in writing, and it helped. And later I could look back and see what and why I was feeling and acting, at a particular time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-06 09:34 pm UTC (link)
	Ah. That does sound very helpful. I know I have a notebook around here somewhere. Hopefully, that will help a bit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2008-11-06 09:36 pm UTC (link)
	I hope so. And I hope you enjoy it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-06 09:41 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you. I hope so too. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	dasummers 2008-11-07 12:02 am UTC (link)
	What happened? (Reply to this) (Thread)

love_remember
2008-11-07 06:04 am UTC (link)

*points up at response to Konnie* I am sorry, I have a difficult time.

She made me think of my father. I got so upset, and I do not remember what I did but they must have sedated me.

They assured me that I did not hurt anyone, but that my arms were restrained so I would not hurt myself.

I thought I was doing so well. I feel horrible. The woman seems so nice.

I don't think I'm ever going to leave here. I am frightened.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dasummers 2008-11-07 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	It will be alright, Ophelia. I'm so sorry that it went badly. Would you like me to visit you again? I'm afraid I can't do much else for you. . . (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-07 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	I am going to try the journal keeping thing that my counselor suggested but I do not know what else to do. If you would come, I would be appreciative. I only wish that I could stop being this way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dasummers 2008-11-07 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	Only time can heal some things. I'll be there in an hour or so. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-07 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	I will try to be patient. Thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	twiceloved 2008-11-07 10:24 am UTC (link)
	It's not your fault, and you don't have any reason to feel ashamed. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	love_remember 2008-11-07 10:28 am UTC (link)
	But I do. I do not want to be like this. I don't want to grieve so badly that I cannot be consoled. I do not know what to do. (Reply to this) (Parent)