They don't use meat. They instead create patties cultured from a unique species of fungus initially found growing between the toes of Richard Nixon. It's true. I said it.
Have you read the Old Testament? Try translating that to a Godly alimony suit now that She's batting for the other side. I'm a super-fertile guy and I'm proud of it, but I've got my bank account and some sort of eternal soul to think about. The possibility of fathering the second Christ means I'm going to need a bigger paycheck and probably a registry at Li'l Messiahs R Us.