InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Have I taught you nothing?"

Max Carrigan (notflatfooted) wrote in undertherainbow,
@ 2008-09-18 11:16:00

Entry tags:

max carrigan

I'm tired of being broken.

All it takes is one sound, and I'm back where I started two years ago, shellshocked and looking for someplace safe to hide.

But there's no safety in my old vices. Alcohol doesn't cover the pain over anymore, and morphine gives the nightmares a firmer hold on my brain. Even weed these days tastes bad, it's so fucking hard to find anything that's pure and not laced with whatever.

Even the girls only distract half my brain from the craziness, and I want it to end, goddammit.

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	sonya_blade 2008-09-18 03:40 pm UTC (link)
	If I may ask, what war did you fight in? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notflatfooted 2008-09-20 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	Vietnam (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonya_blade 2008-09-20 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	My dad fought in 'Nam. I was four years old when he returned home. Thought he was brave because I would see the other soldiers coming back home in worse shape. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notflatfooted 2008-09-20 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	At least he returned home. Plenty didn't. And I should be more grateful that I did, I suppose. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonya_blade 2008-09-20 10:16 pm UTC (link)
	In a matter of speaking, I don't think any soldier returning from there was ever 'really' home. I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk about such things..I just know how you feel. Before coming here, I was in the Special Forces-Green Berets they're sometimes called. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notflatfooted 2008-09-20 10:17 pm UTC (link)
	Aw, damn. I was just a grunt, yano? I wouldn't have lasted half a second doing any of the special forces stuff. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonya_blade 2008-09-20 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	Everyone of us were grunts at one time. You lived through Nam though, so low rank or not you still have my respect. Sonya Blade, back home I was a Lieutenant, here I a Captain. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notflatfooted 2008-09-20 10:24 pm UTC (link)
	Max Carrigan. Still a private, honorably discharged after banging my head and going batshit. Well, here I'm kind of a smoking, drinking leech, but that's beside the point. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonya_blade 2008-09-20 10:32 pm UTC (link)
	I was close to being honorably discharged at one point, but they let me off with a Leave of Absence-on the condition I seek counseling from an approved therapist. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notflatfooted 2008-09-20 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	I took it and ran. No catch-22 shit for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonya_blade 2008-09-20 11:07 pm UTC (link)
	I didn't have a choice. Long story short, there were bigger things to worry about than bureaucratic assholes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notflatfooted 2008-09-21 01:07 pm UTC (link)
	You gotta do what you've gotta do. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	last_dance 2008-09-18 08:04 pm UTC (link)
	I'll bet you a dance that I could solve the weed and the girl problem. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notflatfooted 2008-09-20 09:39 pm UTC (link)
	Dance? Normally, I'd be all over that. But I don't think I can dance right now. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	virginal_ 2008-09-19 06:34 am UTC (link)
	I know you don't know me, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I'm sorry there's war at all, and it just hurts all around. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notflatfooted 2008-09-20 09:39 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry I upset you, lady. Didn't mean to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	virginal_ 2008-09-20 09:41 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not really upset, promise. Do you need anything? Any food, or even a hug? I'm great with hugs! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Lady notflatfooted 2008-09-20 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe a hug? I dunno. I just don't think anything's ever going to help. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Guy virginal_ 2008-09-20 09:45 pm UTC (link)
	My name's Mary, and I can give you a hug. ... someday - not tomorrow, not next week, or next year, but someday you'll just forget it as much. It'll hurt a little less. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary notflatfooted 2008-09-20 09:49 pm UTC (link)
	Max. I hope so, Mary. I really do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Max virginal_ 2008-09-20 09:51 pm UTC (link)
	I do too. But you need a hug and some pie. What's your favorite kind, I'll make you one. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary notflatfooted 2008-09-20 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	Cherry. I like cherry pie. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Max virginal_ 2008-09-20 11:01 pm UTC (link)
	I can make you one of those. Give me a little bit, and I'll bring it to you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary notflatfooted 2008-09-21 01:06 pm UTC (link)
	Okay. I'm at the Penthouse mansion, but I can meet you outside, if you'd like. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Max virginal_ 2008-09-21 02:50 pm UTC (link)
	I don't mind coming in! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary notflatfooted 2008-09-21 10:55 pm UTC (link)
	ok (Reply to this) (Parent)