InsaneJournal

As far as Lucifer could tell, Shepherd had been trying to get Lucifer to talk to him since he arrived on the ship and Lucifer had made a habit of avoiding every single one of those attempts. But now the preacher had sat himself down directly across from Lucifer at the bar, and ignoring him was impossible.

Even so, Lucifer had his wings, Hawke had taken things well and Chloe was now onboard the Enterprise. It was going to be difficult to ruin his mood.

"Right. So what are you having to drink?" Lucifer asked, bypassing any pleasantries. It didn't matter that the idea of asking a preacher about his wings was appealing, it was a matter of principle that the devil didn't mix well with the religious sort.

Shepherd was curious about the other man (demon?) despite how Lucifer kept putting him off. It reminded him of Mal in some ways and sometimes the people that pushed you away the most were the ones that needed you the most. He'd given Lucifer some time, but the bar was church for some and Book tended to meet people where they were.

"Whatever you recommend. Non-alcoholic if possible."

"We have water," Lucifer said dryly. "It's not holy water though, won't burn me if you toss it at me." He regarded the other man for a moment and then randomly decided to blend him up a chocolate milkshake, like a Mudslide sans alcohol. For effect, he added the whipped cream with a cherry on top and then pushed it over to him with a shrug.

He was curious about Shepherd, and paused before moving further down the bar. "So, preacher. What's your explanation for all this? Still part of my father's great plan?"

"Why do you feel I'd attack you with holy water? Your existence… surprises me, but I have no grudge against you… besides, I'm not in a position to be throwing stones…"

Book raised an eyebrow at the drink that was placed in front of him - more indulgent than what he normally ordered, but well, he had given Lucifer the liberty to do anything. He swirled the cherry in the whipped cream before eating it, the sweetness nearly overwhelming his senses.

"This tastes like something Kaylee and River would enjoy," he said with a smile before returning to Lucifer's question. "I'm afraid I don't have an explanation. And well, as to God's plan… I don't pretend to know what he intends. Though I've heard it said that if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

"Kaylee is the overly cheerful one?" Lucifer asked, trying not to sneer and failing. He had a thing about people who were that happy, and it generally involved the idea that they were frauds.

But he eyed the other man suspiciously. "Oh?" he asked. "My existence is clearly detailed in that great book you followers claim to love so much despite it being poorly written and nonsensical."


Shepherd nodded. "That's right. And River is the gifted one who's a bit different from everyone else." He raised an eyebrow at the devil as he sipped the sweet drink.

"It's not something I take literally. River tried to fix it once… for me it's about acknowledging the mythology and the purpose it serves - to guide us to be better people. It's not that I didn't believe in the devil or in angels, I just never experienced anything to confirm their existence. And I certainly didn't expect to ever meet one. So you surprised me."

Shepherd Book ran his fingers along the glass. "Why does religion scare you?"

"Why does it scare me?" Lucifer asked. "Is that a rhetorical question? Because religion externalizes blame. Oh the devil made me do it! I most certainly did not! Or because there's evil and we're fighting this battle against it and we're going to kill them in the name of our god and they're going to kill us in the name of their god rather than looking for their similarities. The things people will do for a god that cares nothing about them are astounding."

"People will do horrible things in the name of God and religion, I won't deny that. Do you find nothing good in religion then? In faith?" Shepherds voice was calm but not patronizing as he sipped his drink. "There is so much potential in this world. For evil certainly but also for good."

"I think religion is completely unnecessary for people to do what is good or right, and that the power of choice should lie solely within their hands. But you seem like one of those preachers who would focus on the more spiritual aspects of faith while I assure you my father is the sort to keep score. It's all a game to him and nothing else."

Lucifer shrugged, and then reached for a glass and a bottle at random and poured himself a drink. "Your sort of faith is like that milkshake. Sugary, sweet, it'll make you feel good for a bit and then it'll prove worthless in the end. I mean, I have no doubt you'll make it to the Silver City, but trust me when I say it's not what it's cracked up to be."

He drank down his glass and added with a shrug, "I don't see the sense of playing along. You can't win."

"It's not all sunshine and rainbows. It's doubt as well. It's… complicated." Book considered Lucifer. "I wasn't always a man of the cloth. Before all this… I… didn't see much point in religion.. But I did things and well, maybe all this is just me trying to atone for that…"

"Oh?" Lucifer asked, finally interested in what the other man had to say, the grin on his face almost diabolical. "And who were you, before you decided to try and make up for every wicked thing you'd done?"

"A spy who was responsible for the deaths of 4,000 individuals."

Whatever Lucifer was expecting Shepherd to say, that was not it. Momentarily silenced, he refilled his glass and took a sip before asking, "So how do you feel the atonement's going?"

He kept his voice light, but he was paying close attention to the other man.

"Well, that's the crux of the matter, isn't it?" Book asked, his voice quiet as he spoke. "Atonement isn't actually necessary. I learned forgiveness at the monastery, but it wasn't enough. I couldn't stay there separated from the world so I left. Nothing will ever make up for what I did and though I still believe in the cause I was part of, I was responsible for all those lives being lost. And most of them didn't really know what they were doing - just following orders."

Book didn't speak about the war much, believing that his past life should stay in the past. Although he still had all the skills, it wasn't who he was anymore. "But if I can my little part to try and make the world a better place, to give people hope in a hopeless world, then I think I'm doing all right."

Lucifer thought the preacher hit the nail on the head when he said most people didn't know what they were doing, they were just following orders.

"You'll recall an apple got me into a bit of trouble once," Lucifer said, wishing he had one at the bar to snack on as he commented on that point of his history. "The ability to know right from wrong, to do more than just follow orders mindlessly. And people wonder why I despise humanity…"

"Some might say were nothing but a pawn in that incident," Shepherd said, studying the other man. "Is there anything you don't despise?"

"I was a pawn there?" Lucifer asked, questioning that sentiment. That had been his one act of truth, of bestowing that truth to his father's creation so they could think for themselves.

And of course his father knew he would do something like that. "I don't know that I'd considered that before. And if I had, it's been some time."

He gave his glass a refill and then shrugged. "I don't despise alcohol. There's a few people I like. Some on this ship, even. I enjoyed Los Angeles when I abandoned hell to live there."

"I don't know if you were a pawn or not, but in order for there to be redemption, there needs to be a fall. Whether the story of your fall from heaven or humanity's fall in the garden - the part needed to be played. It might have been someone else if it wasn't you. We claim that humanity has free will - but that belief often comes into conflict with the notion of an all-knowing and all-powerful God."

Shepherd Book ran his fingers over the bar top. It couldn't be easy for Lucifer, that much was obvious. "Freedom is important to you, isn't it?"

"But why does redemption need to exist in the first place?" Lucifer asked. "Other than to satisfy a codependent narcissist?"

Nodding at the question he said replied, "Yes. It is. Which is why I'm actually happy to have my wings back."

"It depends on whether you believe human beings are inherently good or evil. For my part, I believe in the inherent goodness of all humanity… and all creation, since humans doesn't cover everyone on this ship."

Lucifer's next statement gave Book pause. "You have your wings back?"

"You religious sorts always want to separate everything into two categories, good and evil. Perhaps the only thing inherent about humanity is the inability to think beyond neatly defined categories."

But he grinned as the preacher realized what he'd just said. "Yes, I do. I was only without them for a short time, really. I had my favorite demon cut them off when I abandoned hell, and then I burned them for good measure. And yet here they are. Well, you can't see them right now, of course," Lucifer added with a smirk. "I find it's too distracting for most mortals."

He gave Shepherd a knowing look and then smiled at him charmingly. "So the devil has wings back. What do think it all means, Preacher? Does this fit into your redemption story?"

"I don't put much stock in that redemption story. It's a myth. There are thousands of them throughout the 'verse. Ain't all true, but I ain't sure it's all fake either. Here we've got so many folks from different universes, so many different myths. One myth, one belief system ain't necessarily better than another."

He took another sip of the milkshake. "I'll be honest, I haven't known much what to make of you since you've been here. My beliefs focused less on angels and devils and more on just doing the right thing and helping others on their journey."

"Well that makes two of us," Lucifer replied, looking intently at the other man. "As I don't know what to make of you either. But a preacher who admits to not having all the answers is refreshing."

"I don't suppose it'd be possible for me to see your wings?" Shepherd Book asked curiously, stirring the remnants of his milkshake.

"Certainly," Lucifer said, not about to pass on an opportunity to show them off. Except… "Not here though. Too many people get a glimpse at something divine and things get a bit… tricky," he announced. "Want to go a walk, Book? I'd say let's just go into the storeroom and get it done with but people talk."

He grinned at the other man, before teleporting himself so he was standing directly next to the preacher. "Nice benefit, huh?"

"You'll have to explain 'tricky' to me," Book said as he set his glass on the counter. He did a double take when the devil appeared next to him. Well, that was unexpected. "Certainly would make for a good party trick. Do you have to be able to see your location?"

"Nope," Lucifer replied. "Benefit of being me, I suppose." He started walking toward the door. "Well come on, Preacher," he said, waiting for the other man to catch up, only waiting until they were away from the main crowd before he unfurled his wings, showing them off. "Divine gift and all, so when people get a glimpse of actual divinity, you never know how they may react. I actually decided to burn them after I found out some bastard had them mounted and put on display."

He grinned at Book. "You can touch them if you want. Everyone always gets this look on their face...."

"Well, that's understandable. Can't imagine how it must be to see a part of yourself on display lie that," Shepherd said, the concern evident in his voice. And then Lucifer unfurled his wings. Book wasn't sure what he expected, but it was a sight to behold. It was the opposite of everything he'd seen, both in the core plants, and in Haven. His expression was one of curiosity. "I'm not sure what I expected."

"I am an angel," Lucifer pointed out. "Came with wings, even after I fell. Anyway, hate to tell you this but the Bible is far more literal than I think you wanted to believe."

He grinned at the other man. "But I don't hate you. I kind of like you, actually, as much as the devil can like a minister…"

Shepherd Book arched an eyebrow. "Well, for being the literal devil, you're not so bad yourself."