InsaneJournal

Chloe was a bit embarrassed to admit it, but she had avoided Lucifer for a few days after their two discussions. It was a lot to take in, and once she got past the lingering disbelief, she took some time wondering whether or not she should be scared and trying to reconcile what she knew about the man himself with her impressions and thoughts about the Prince of Darkness. It was a difficult task, because they didn't fit together well. The Devil with his horns and tail didn’t fit with the man that Trixie adored, who had died and returned to hell to save her life. It was like trying to recognize a person from a particularly twisted caricature. Some things were accented to a ridiculous extent while others were left out entirely.

In the end, she decided simply to follow the evidence and go with her gut. Her gut told her that Lucifer was her friend, and that she had nothing to fear from him. And while it was a bit hard to wrap her head around the fact that he was thousands and thousands of years old...well, she’d manage to accept it all someday. Somehow. Because as world-altering as his reveal had been, he was also the only reason she wasn’t freaking out entirely about finding herself here on this ship. Chloe trusted very few people. Lucifer was one of them.

She’d invited him over to her quarters for dinner and more talking (this time without limitations on the length), and had been thrilled to figure out in only a few attempts how to use the food replicator. If she ever went home again she was definitely going to figure out how to take one of those home. It would be a life-saver.

She’d stuck with comfort foods and had been rather happy with the steaming baked macaroni and cheese that sat cooling on the table as she waited for him to arrive.

***

The fact that the detective was avoiding him hadn’t escaped Lucifer’s notice, but he also figured he would give Chloe a day or two to process everything. Space. Him being the devil. Just how bad the mess hall was.

He’d never actually eaten on board the Enterprise so this would be a first, and with replicator food which promised to be a bit dodgy. But for Chloe’s sake, he was willing to meet her for dinner and try it if it added to a sense of normalcy.

Arriving at her room as promised, he was quick to ask, “So how are things now, Detective? Settling in? Calmed down a bit from having everything thrown at you at once?”

***

“Does anyone ever get used to this?” She asked, rather conspicuously avoiding eye contact by making herself busy cutting the mac and cheese into 2x2 squares. “I mean, we’re in space, 300 years in the future, and you are a metaphysical being who I spent my life to this point convinced was metaphorical. It’s kind of a lot.”

She moved two of the steaming squares to plates, still avoiding looking at him directly.

“I’ve started my security training, though. That’s at least something familiar.”

Weapons may have changed, but basic training really hadn’t.

***

"Chloe," Lucifer said, staring at the detective. "Are you sure you're ready for this conversation? And 300 years is exaggerating." Not that it probably really mattered to her at this point, still. "Are you alright?" he added, his voice a bit gentler.

***

Lucifer so rarely used her given name that it earned him a moment of eye contact. Just a moment, though, before she looked away again.

“I’m…” She hesitated. She wasn’t great at admitting weakness, not even to her closest friends. “...a little overwhelmed,” she finished with a sigh as her shoulders sagged a little. “But I need to know everything. I need all the cards on the table. Because right now I’m...questioning everything. I feel like I can’t trust myself. I mean…” and she finally looked up at him again, her eyes vulnerable. “How could I have known you for as long as I have and not figured it out? What kind of a crappy detective am I not to have seen something that big right under my nose?”

***

"You were looking for the rational explanation. Being friends with the devil isn't exactly rational," Lucifer pointed out. "But look on the bright side, detective! At least you didn't repeatedly accuse me of being a character actor."

Glancing at the food, he said, "Why don't we eat out here and then go and talk in your room?" he asked. He had no idea who Chloe's roommate was, but he didn't care for the idea of her walking in during a serious discussion. "And I do mean talk," he added with a slight smirk, deciding he might as well make things as close to normal as possible.

***

“I guess,” she said, but she shook her head slightly. She still wasn’t convinced of that as an excuse. The truth was, she should have put things together. She’d seen too many weird things that when put together pointed to the fact that Lucifer wasn’t exactly human. But the skepticism was strong in her, and she had looked at them individually and rationalized each a way. The one thing she had to cling to was that there had been doubt building in the back of her mind, and while she hadn’t embraced it yet, its existence told her that maybe she hadn’t been able to rationalize it away completely.

“Sure,” she said. She didn’t want their conversation interrupted either, and she didn’t know when Ginny would be back. “I have no idea if this is any good. I’ve never used a replicator before.” She’d just wanted comfort food, and she’d given it the recipe that she and Trixie often made together.

“And yes, you’d better just mean talk,” she added with a smirk of her own.

***

Dinner wasn't horrific, but Lucifer was still skeptical about replicated food, even as he cleaned his plate. So maybe it wasn't that bad at all, but he still didn't know how that food was created and that bothered him. The time spent eating was slightly awkward, and rather quiet, with the issues lingering, unspoken. But eventually, they were finished and headed into Chloe's room.

As soon as the door was closed behind him, Lucifer placed his hand on her shoulder and turned her around to face him. And then, in a move she probably wasn't expecting, he hugged her. She was overwhelmed, which he understood, and maybe previously he wouldn't have initiated such a gesture but months on the Enterprise with new friends and quasi-relationships had changed him more than he may have even realized.

There was also the fact that Chloe was there on the ship with him now, when he thought he would never see her again. Of course, it was possible she was going to push him away but there was also the chance that she might be able to look him in the eye again afterward.

***

Chloe stiffened at first, rather shocked. A hug had been the last thing she expected, but after a moment she realized that it was exactly what she needed. She’d been trying so hard to be strong since her arrival here, and it felt so good to be able to lean on someone, even just for a few seconds. She wrapped her arms around his waist and closed her eyes, just savoring the warmth and support that he was giving her.

After a moment, though, she pulled back and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. Her brain was screaming at her that she’d just hugged the devil, with her heart screaming back and demanding to know what was wrong with that.

Tiredly, she sat on her bed, looking at her clasped hands.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this lost.”

***

"Right," Lucifer said. "Well let's fix that, shall we? You had a lot of questions about Charlotte, how I ended up getting kicked out of heaven, why you're immune to my charms. If you're a little overwhelmed now, I'll hate to see how you're feeling after," he mentioned causally. But at least now she could get the answers she wanted and unless she kicked him out, he wasn't going anywhere.

"So Charlotte, not her real name, of course. I tend to refer to her as mother or mum. Anyway, not my stepmother, but mum. The Bible kind of leaves her out, the way it does with so many women. Long story short, a god met a goddess, they fell in love, had themselves a big bang and a universe was born along with my brothers and sisters. Like Amenadiel, who you've met."

That was certainly a succinct way to introduce her to the very beginning.

***

“So Charlotte was...your mother.” She said rather flatly. “A goddess.” She supposed she should have figured that out by now. “And she got together with your father...God...and had all of you.” It made sense in a way, she supposed. In a way that made her head explode, maybe. But it made sense all the same.

“So...like it says in Paradise Lost, you were an angel to start with. Are there baby angels? I mean, were you born little and grew up?”

She didn't know how it worked. Didn’t have any idea, really. A couple of days ago she didn’t think that angels existed at all.

***

"Yes, well, the details are actually quite boring but I did grow up with my siblings. Boring because at that point we were meant to bend to my father's every whim and most of them seemed quite content with that. I wasn't," Lucifer said. "My rebellion pissed my father off, my mom told him to appoint me ruler of hell instead, and there I was until I decided to quit that job and move to Los Angeles. Five years before you met me, of course."

He shrugged. "I was kicked out of heaven for wanting to choose what I did, for questioning how my father wanted us to do exactly what he told us. And to save myself, I ruled hell. It took longer than it should have to rebel against that, I'll admit."

Taking a seat next to her on the bed, though keeping some distance given her newfound insecurity around him, he added, "My father wasn't going to allow that story to stand, so of course I'm painted in the worse possible light."

***

She looked over at him and almost moved further away. But she didn’t let herself do that. He was still her friend, still the same person she’d always known. The truth he’d shown her didn’t change anything about what had happened between them in the past. It shouldn’t change the way she looked at him.

“Sometimes you are,” she said. “Milton’s actually rather sympathetic. But in other ways, yes. You are. I mean, pop culture of the devil kind of sucks.”

She allowed herself to look over at him, and then scooted a little closer. Not too close, but enough - she hoped - to show him that she wasn’t scared of him.

“So which of the things about you are true? Should I worry about my soul?” She was half joking. But only half.

***

"I make deals," Lucifer pointed out. "You saw that, and rolled your eyes at me more than once. I'm immortal, except around you. I'm still an angel, just you know… a bit of a fallen one. And I did rule hell, but I don't make people do anything. That entire line 'The devil made me do it'? Complete rubbish. I just believe in well-informed decisions making."

He hesitated a moment and looked at her. "So about the question, why are you immune to my charms? I can tell you that, but if you're already overwhelmed, this isn't going to help at all, Detective."

***

She nodded as he sorted out the facts for her, filing it away, knowing that it was going to hit her eventually much harder than she was taking it now.

At his question, she was quiet.

“I need to know, Lucifer. I need to know everything. No more secrets. I don’t think I can really absorb it when I don’t know what big game changer might still be out there.”




She hesitated, then, softer and more vulnerable than usual: ”Please.”

***

Lucifer nodded, and then said, "Alright. First you need to know that I didn't know about this, but I thought you did. It's one of the reasons I ran after you were all healed up…"

His voice cut off as he considered how best to tell her how his father had manipulated her into his life. He finally decided to be blunt and get it out there. "Amenadiel blessed your parents so that you could be born. So that you would be in my life when my father wanted you to be. That's why you are immune to my powers, though I think it was saving your life… the first time, that made me vulnerable around you. Right? So that clears that up!"

He offered that last bit cheerfully, never one to be entirely comfortable while delivering news that he would definitely consider overwhelming.

***

When he finished, Chloe just stared at him. Her mouth might as well have been agape, for the shock on her face. It took her a while to find her voice, her mind spinning now worse than it had yet.

“God...specifically created me to meet you?”

A little bit of anger crossed her face, but it wasn’t directed at Lucifer.



“I’m just a pawn? Everything in my life, everything i’ve been through, it meant nothing more than to throw me in your path???”

She stood from the bed, and started pacing, taking out her fury on the bedroom carpet.

“What am I supposed to do?” She asked, stopping abruptly and looking at him. “What am I supposed to be for you?”

***

"Well welcome to my life, Detective. Now you understand what I'm always so angry about. And as to what you're meant to do, hell if I know."

But then he softened, and stood up, intercepting her pacing by stepping in front of her. "Chloe, It doesn't matter what you're meant to do. You still have free will. You get to make your own decisions and again, the only thing that's changed here is you know. You've been handling everything well enough prior to this."

He didn't know what it meant or what his father's plan was, only that they weren't bound to it.

***

Chloe stopped when he blocked her path, but didn’t look pleased about it. She couldn’t help but remember that she’d had feelings for him, and now those felt cheap, as if she’d been manipulated into having them. And she hated that feeling.

“I understand why you left,” she said. “I didn't then, but I do now. And you say I have free will, but do I? I mean, we met, just like your father planned. How do we know that every little thing that’s happened isn’t part of his plan?”

She was furious. Spitting nails furious. She hated being manipulated, and being used by god was somehow the worst of all.

“And why me? I’m nothing special.”

***

"Because my father is narcissistic enough to want you to choose his plan once you know about it," Lucifer pointed out. "I mean, I think the only safe bet you have going for you is to ignore me completely. If you want to do that, I'll understand."

He'd hate it, but he'd understand.

"But you are special, and that has nothing to do with him."

***
“I don’t want to ignore you,” she said, her shoulders falling as she softened, taking a step closer to him. “I don’t. I care about you. Not in the rip-your-clothes-off sort of way - don’t go there - but in the way that you’re my friend. The first real friend that i’ve had in a long time. And that means something to me, dammit.”


She sat heavily on her bed again, looking rather dejectedly at the floor. She hated knowing that everything about their friendship had been staged, even if it was by God himself. But she was thankful that Lucifer had told her.

“Screw him,” she said. “I’m not going to let him ruin this. You’re my friend, and you’re going to stay that way.”

***

"See?" Lucifer asked with a smirk as Chloe quite succinctly summed up his thoughts. "That's why it doesn't matter how we met, only that we did," Lucifer said. He sat down next to her, not leaving distance this time, and draped an arm around her.

"Try and relax," he offered. "You don't have to work all of this out tonight."

The last few days had been stressful enough on her and this hadn't helped. Other than maybe showing her what it meant to be well... him. Which he could appreciate at least.

***

This time she didn’t flinch away from him, and instead tiredly rested her head against his shoulder. Ironically, it felt so safe there. The safest she’d felt since she was a little girl and her father had still been alive. How strange her world had become that she found that safety and sense of security in the Devil himself.

“No, you’re right. I have plenty of time to think about it and figure everything out now that it’s all on the table. Thanks for telling me. Even if it is...well, a lot to take in.”

***

"It is a lot," Lucifer acknowledged. "I've at least had the benefit of time on my side."

He fell silent for a long moment and before adding, "I'm glad you finally know." His voice was quiet, and for a moment he felt truly vulnerable. But their friendship wasn't one sided and for Chloe to know who he was and still be sitting next to him meant something.

***

“I am too,” she said. “I feel like we’re in the same place now. No more secrets. Only the truth. I like it that way. Even if the truth is more than a little freaky.”

She exhaled deeply, some of the tension leaving her. There were no big unspoken secrets hanging over her, no more shoes to drop. That, at least, was a good feeling.

“Did I tell you I’ve started my security training? Shooting phasers is kind of fun.”

***

Lucifer had to smile at that. "No you've been avoiding me. You'll probably be working with Kate at some point. For some reason they've never let me have a weapon here either."

Because Chloe had never let him carry a gun while they were out working. "It's weird, isn't it? Not having a case to solve?"

***

Chloe blushed, but she couldn’t deny it.



“Yeah, I have. Sorry. I’m not going to do it anymore, if that helps.” She was over that. Somehow getting furious and understanding everything now, her fears of Lucifer and what he was were gone. The part that mattered was that he was her friend.

“Why does the devil need a weapon?” She teased. “You always seemed to do well enough on your own. Don’t you have a pitchfork or something hidden away?”

At his last question, she sighed.

“It is. And being security here is going to be really different. But at least it’s something. I can’t stand having nothing to do.”

***

"Right," Lucifer said. "No horns, no tail, no pitchfork. That's all purely myth."

Grinning at her, he had to agree with that. "No, I can't imagine you could just sit around at the Deck Five Lounge all day, drinking and playing the piano. Well, you can't play the piano so that's definitely out," he teased.

***

“I have other talents, thank you very much,” she said, acting offended, although she really wasn’t. She didn’t have any musical talent. She knew that. But she had plenty of others and wasn’t self-conscious about it.

“And yeah, that’s not me.” It was definitely him, though. They had such diametrically opposed lifestyles that somehow she wondered how they’d become friends at all. But they had, and that was really all that mattered.

***

"No, it's not, Detective," Lucifer agreed. He hoped she didn't expect him to stop calling her that even now that that was no longer her title. "Which is good because there's only one lounge and it's mine to manage," he teased.

But then he fell silent for a while, just enjoying having Chloe there with him. Nothing about the entire Enterprise ordeal had been ideal, but it had gotten a hundred times better with Chloe's arrival.

"I'm glad you're here," he said quietly. Life hadn't been the same without her.

***

Chloe looked over at him and couldn’t help the little smile that crossed her lips. It was nice to have someone glad that she was around; it made her feel really...warm inside.

She too enjoyed the silence for a long while, even closing her eyes for a moment as she leaned against him. It was a bit strange the way that having him close brought her peace, but she wasn't going to question it.

“I’m glad you’re here too.”