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Kate Beckett (katebex) wrote in toboldlyrpg,

There was more, so much more that it still made her head spin and her heart ache, but Kate stopped there, content that she had hit the high points of the story. Now wasn't the time to tell Rick that he had a step-mother who, like his father, was a spy. "They set us up with a patsy, in the end, someone that was a convenient fall guy for being the mastermind behind all of this. Everyone bought it but Vikram and me, and I tried to let it go. I tried to just ignore that this guy was out there and could come back and kill you, or come after me. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. This man helped Bracken, he might have been involved in my mother's murder, he definitely killed people that I cared about because of that search I ran on Bracken."

While she wanted to shrink away, to fold in on herself and refuse to look at Castle, Kate wouldn't let herself. She lifted her chin and met his eyes directly, giving him no doubts that she was speaking the truth. "I made a choice. I chose to find Loksat and put him down, to avenge Rachel and the others and to protect you, Alexis, and everyone else we love. And at the time I thought the only way to do that, to make sure you didn't find out and try to get involved and possibly get yourself killed was to leave you."

The worst of it said she reached out for his other hand, holding them both in hers as she sniffed back another wave of tears. "I never wanted it to be permanent. I want time to find this guy, end the threat and come back home. But it was stupid, Castle. It was stupid because nothing is more important to me than you and our relationship, and I should never have left without telling you the truth. But I was so scared that something would happen to you and I knew I couldn't live with myself if I got you killed because I couldn't get past this."