InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Who let the nutjob out?"

Sitting at a bar with tears in her eyes really wasn't how she'd intended to spend her night but here she was, trying desperately not to cry again and knocking back drinks like they were going out of fashion. She'd asked the bartender for the strongest drink they served when she'd arrived, it had taken a bit of convincing to actually get him to sell her the drink but she'd been determined and maybe she'd let a little bit of her anger at Grant bleed into her tone but he'd relented and now she was on her third, no fourth drink and it still hurt.

She wasn't mad he'd slept with someone else before she knew him, she wasn't that crazy, she knew he'd slept with people before she'd come into his life. What she was mad about was that he'd tried to keep the truth from her, it stung, badly. He'd promised to always be honest with her and then he'd tried to keep a secret from her. That hurt more than anything and then when he'd finally told her the truth it was worse because there was no way her mind didn't make it into more of a thing than it probably had been. If it wasn't anything she couldn't understand why he hadn't just said yes when she'd asked, that was all she'd needed, an honest answer. Instead she'd ended up so upset she almost hurled her device against the wall when he'd kept dancing around the issue. She'd stopped thinking about all that had been said or she was trying to because every time she did she felt tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat that she tried to swallow down with the alcohol. It burned on the way down but that actually helped, it gave her something else to focus on other than what he'd said. She could still see the words 'I did like her' when she closed her eyes.

There was a part of her that knew she was being colossally stupid right now, Grant was right they were in a war zone but she'd needed to get out and get away. She'd needed to drink and nothing and no one was going to stop her, not even an invading alien race in a galaxy far, far away. She just wanted the pain to go away, that dull ache in her chest that came whenever she felt like someone was going to leave her. Skye knew how much Grant loved her, she did because he told her often but it didn't change the fact he'd tried to keep the fact one of the new arrivals used to be someone he had a friends with benefits arrangement with. She didn't want to be jealous, she really didn't but she couldn't help it. How could she not be jealous when Grant hadn't told her the truth up front when she'd asked?

Lifting the glass to her lips she closed her eyes and took a big gulp of her drink, swallowing it down and letting the burn take away a little bit of the pain as it settled in her stomach. Despite her best efforts tears started to slip free, her plan wasn't working and now she was crying at a bar in some far away place that until a couple of days ago she would have thought wasn't real. With a noise of frustration she rubbed at her eyes, trying not to look as pathetic as she felt right then. She hated this, hated that it got to her so much but after a lifetime of having people leave she couldn't help it. She knocked back the last of her current glass before she motioned to the bartender to get her another drink, ignoring the pitying look he shot her as he went about refilling her glass. "God, Skye. Get it together," she muttered as she laid some credits down for the drink and grabbed the fresh drink off the bar.