InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Bad as new."

Rose Hathaway :: Vampire Academy (lildampeer) wrote in timestreamic,
@ 2016-09-27 17:33:00

Entry tags:

anakin solo, damon salvatore, jacen solo, rose hathaway

Well, fuck.

Anakin, Jacen

I'm sorry about Jaina.

Is there anything I can do?

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	Anakin jeditraitor 2016-09-30 03:05 am UTC (link)
	Not planning to kill anyone little brother. I promised you. As for the rest,I still don't know what the right path is or how to get on it. But I have you to help there. I'm not a Jedi. I was never very good at it, not like everyone else. But thanks to you I'm not a Sith either. I'm going back to what felt right for me. To neither. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Jacen jedidestiny 2016-10-01 10:08 pm UTC (link)
	You do have that. As long as I'm living, you've got me to help you. And see, that's somewhere. I think the question is, how are you using the Force? Or not using it? As much as I've always wanted to be a Jedi, I don't believe it's the only way to live with the Force ethically or well. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anakin jeditraitor 2016-10-02 01:23 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not sure. I have so much at my disposal Anakin, so many things I've learned that I'm not sure any Jedi knows. Powers the Order never considered. I learned so much but is it bad? It doesn't feel bad? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Jacen jedidestiny 2016-10-02 02:31 pm UTC (link)
	Not ignorance, knowledge, Jacen. I know you're not a Jedi and that you don't want to be, but if you think your Jedi brother is going to sit here and say that what you've learned is bad, then you don't know me very well. It's how you use the knowledge that will determine if it's bad or not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anakin jeditraitor 2016-10-02 04:15 pm UTC (link)
	Knowledge can be dangerous. It was a search for knowledge that started me on this path. A need to understand more (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Jacen jedidestiny 2016-10-02 04:25 pm UTC (link)
	But it was Allana and wanting to keep her safe that pushed you further into trying to control things - keep the galaxy safe - risk subjugating and dehumanizing segments of the population for the better good. Or am I understanding wrong? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anakin jeditraitor 2016-10-02 07:35 pm UTC (link)
	She was my goal yes. The cause was... It's hard to know, but an artifact was put in our path. Do you remember, Jaina was tasked to look into it and I convinced her that I should? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Jacen jedidestiny 2016-10-02 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, I do. More or less. That was the start of it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anakin jeditraitor 2016-10-02 07:59 pm UTC (link)
	That led me to Lumiya. It had all been set in motion so long ago, those Tassels were always going to find me. They called to me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Jacen jedidestiny 2016-10-02 08:12 pm UTC (link)
	Tell me about the tassels, Jace. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anakin jeditraitor 2016-10-03 02:18 am UTC (link)
	They were... Looking back now they were a dammed map. A how to guide. I put a lot of work into getting them translated and when I did it led me to her. I can still remember every single one. It became almost a code, a mantra (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Jacen jedidestiny 2016-10-03 02:37 pm UTC (link)
	Were they actually historically an artifact? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anakin jeditraitor 2016-10-03 02:59 pm UTC (link)
	I assume looking back she had been cooking this up for quite some time. I was the logical choice. Most likely to slip up on my own arrogance (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Jacen

jedidestiny
2016-10-03 03:24 pm UTC (link)

~~Don't~~ Jacen, it could have been any of us. The method might have been different, but it could have been any of us. Do you know how many times I've held onto anger? How dangerously close it has been to driving me forward? How many times that's been true? You worried about me when we were younger, I know you did, and the thing is, it wasn't and isn't unfounded worry. Master Ikrit once told me that it could burn me if I didn't let it go, and the thing is, there have been times it's burned hotter than it should have.

I do keep moving forward. I keep my eyes on justice. I question my motives constantly. I accept that sometimes I'm going to to do it wrong and I trust the people in my life to want to see me succeed and to call me out when I fail.

But I hate to see you think that it was obviously going to be you; that Jaina or I had or have no weaknesses that could be exploited. It's simply not true.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anakin jeditraitor 2016-10-04 01:09 pm UTC (link)
	Then why did she not try to turn you or Jaina. If it's so likely it could have been any of us why was it me? Anger isn't inherently dark. The code, it's still too dammed restrictive. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Jacen

jedidestiny
2016-10-04 01:15 pm UTC (link)

Don't try to get me to guess what she was thinking, I can't. I'm just saying that you shouldn't put yourself down and Jaina and I on a pedestal. It does none of us any good to think that way.

I agree, anger isn't inherently dark, and emotions aren't inherently bad. But when you hold onto anger, when it's fuelling everything you do, when it's clouding your judgement, when it's pushing you forward without considering consequences - it can lead to dark places. Trust me, I know.

The code is structure.

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