McKay (scribbulus_ink) wrote in time_of_storms, @ 2005-11-01 09:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | chronological, joint |
August 22, 1997
Original poster: werwolfoflondon
Music: Two Out of Three Ain't Bad, by Meatloaf.
Consciousness returned slowly, and Remus was aware of being wrapped up in warmth first, his body too heavy to move. Even prying open his eyelids seemed like too much effort, and so he remained floating in blissful darkness, edging toward wakefulness at a gradual pace.
Soon he became aware of sounds - the soft murmur of distant conversation, mostly - and the antiseptic scent he associated with St. Mungo's that made his nose twitch as if on the verge of sneezing. But what was he doing there?
Memories arose, unfolding slowly, and he remembered going to McGonagall's home, remembered the Death Eaters, remembered Severus...
Severus. That was it. Severus had been in danger because Tonks was about to curse him, and Remus had lunged at her in an attempt to stop her, for fear Severus would be captured - or worse - if he were incapacitated by her spell.
A soft groan escaped his lips as he opened his eyes at last, ready to face the world and get some answers about what happened. He wanted to know if Severus and McGonagall were safe. Belatedly he thought about Tonks and wondered if she was safe as well, and he felt a twinge of guilt for not thinking of Tonks, who was his lover. Instead, his first thought was of Severus.
In that moment, Remus knew he'd made his choice. He'd thrown himself in front of a curse to save Severus without a second thought. Severus, who was a bitter, vindictive, petty bastard with blood on his hands. Severus, who hated him and showered him with insults and ridicule. Severus, who was utterly alone and who needed him in ways no one else ever had.
He wasn't in love with Severus, but there was a connection between them that he couldn't deny. He was driven to protect Severus, to watch over him and take care of him. Perhaps it was the glimpses of fear and despair he saw in Severus' dark eyes; perhaps it was the knowledge that Severus had no one else in the world to turn to, and Remus understood that feeling all too well. Perhaps it was simply foolishness or madness on his part. But whatever the reason, Severus was his responsibility now, and he knew that he would choose Severus over everyone, including himself.
Not that he would ever tell Severus that, of course. Severus would heap scorn on his head and humiliate him for the rest of their lives if he knew how Remus felt. No, Remus would keep that secret to himself, but he would no longer hold back when it came to taking care of Severus.
And he would no longer go through the motions with Tonks. It wasn't fair to either of them, and it was best if he ended things, especially now that Molly was putting the screws to both of them about getting married. Tonks would never understand his need to take care of Severus, and Remus wasn't even certain he could explain it. He just knew it was what he wanted and needed to do.
Doubtless Severus was right, and neither of them would survive the war, but between now and then, Remus intended to make certain Severus was no longer alone.
The scowl Severus wore was not nearly as powerful as normal, seeing as it was displayed on a face not his own, a face that was not nearly so accustomed to dark grimaces as Severus' was. It did not fall naturally into the look, the muscles resisting his attempts to frown and glare. This fact only made Severus more annoyed than ever, enough so that as he stalked through the halls of St. Mungo's, no one dared to stop him, even to ask what he was doing. He looked like a man who might hex anyone who got in his way, and little did anyone suspect that was exactly what would have happened to any unfortunate soul who dared try to stop him from reaching his destination.
The disguise was passable, although Severus deplored the necessity for it, loathing to appear as anyone but himself. Still, he had been very fortunate to discover Lupin was in St. Mungo's at all, and the fact that the Order was guarding him like goblins guarded the gold vault at Gringott's made this visit far too risky. But Severus was used to risk, and in this case, he convinced himself that it was worth it in order to give Lupin a much needed piece of his mind, even if the face which would deliver it wouldn't have the same chilling effect as his own pale features.
Severus' pull within the ranks of the Death Eaters had allowed him to discover Lupin's whereabouts, for there were spies everywhere, even within the hallowed halls of the Wizarding hospital. An over-achieving little snot of a Death Eater - Marcus Flint, one of Severus' former students - had relayed the information, and had had the cheek to ask if "Master Snape" wanted the werewolf put out of his misery. It was all Severus could do to keep from hexing Flint into the next life, but his cutting comments to Flint, accompanied by a few not-so-vague threats had served to send his erstwhile apprentice fleeing in fear of his life.
Armed with the information he required, Severus had wasted no time obtaining polyjuice and Apparating to St. Mungo's. He had spared a quick look in the mirror before departing, seeing dark blue eyes glittering in a face more tanned than Severus' true visage, topped by soft brown hair with a natural wave. The nose was small and straight, and Severus supposed that he now looked handsome, wearing the face of this Muggle.
The differences, however, did nothing to improve his temper.
It took only a few moments to reach the room he sought, and Severus didn't bother to knock. He didn't have time for pleasantries, after all, seeing that the potion would run out in an hour. So he opened the door, stepped inside, and shut it behind him, eyes going immediately to the bed to examine Lupin, pleased to find him awake... and so relieved that his breath caught in his throat, although he would not admit to having been worried, not in a million years.
Three long steps brought him to the bed, and seeing that they were alone, Severus crossed his arms across his chest and glared down at Lupin, expression ferocious. "You are a complete dunderhead, Lupin! What was I supposed to do if you had gotten yourself killed? You are far more valuable to this war than that stupid little bint! By risking yourself and saving her, you nearly ended up jeopardizing everything we are trying to do!"
Remus stared at the attractive man who had stormed into his room and fussed at him, wondering exactly what was in the medications they'd been giving him here. The face was wrong, but the words and the tone were pure Snape, and he breathed deeply to confirm his suspicions. Amused at catching Severus' distinctive scent, he chuckled and then winced as the movement sent pain shooting through his chest, the laugher turning into a cough.
"I wasn't trying to save her," he replied once the pain in his chest had eased. "I was trying to save you. She was about to curse you, and if you'd been captured or killed in that attack, it would have ruined everything." His mouth quirked in a one-sided smile. "Notice I'm not commenting on the risk you're taking right now just to come here and yell at me for being a dunderhead," he added mildly.
Severus' scowl deepened, and he lifted his chin at Lupin's accusation. Still, he couldn't help the fierce, unexpected jolt of satisfaction at Lupin's admission that he, Severus, had been the one Lupin was trying to save. It wouldn't do to dwell, however, not now; there wasn't time.
"I have to make certain as to your well-being, Lupin," he said, stepping closer and running a critical eye over Lupin as though he thought that the Healers at St. Mungo's were complete incompetents. Which, actually, wasn't far from the truth.
"How are you feeling? Do you need any potions? What did that bint throw, anyway? How she got to be an Auror and not be able to abort a spell at the last moment is beyond me. The incompetent bitch could have killed you!" He ground his teeth in fury, even while he was taking Lupin's chart from table next to the bed, reading it with a practiced eye, his frown not letting up for a moment.
"I don't know what she threw," Remus replied in the same calm tone. "It wasn't the Killing Curse, however, or I'd be dead, and nothing else could have killed me. It was potent, but not fatal, although I don't doubt you would have fared far worse if it had hit you instead."
He smiled, amused and a little touched by Severus' fussing, although he knew better than to read too much into it, and then he pushed himself into a sitting position, grimacing and pressing one hand against his chest as if he could take away the soreness that way. "I'm sore and tired, but otherwise, I'm fine. I don't need anything except to be released from this place. God knows what Ethan is going to think."
"You are merely lucky that I have experience in pulling my curses, otherwise you would be dead," Severus snapped, tossing the chart back on the table and crossing his arms again. He refused to admit that worry was fueling much of his anger at Lupin's interference; he could have killed Lupin himself, by accident, and it was only sheerest luck that had prevented the unwitting tragedy.
He stood there glaring at Lupin, watching with eagle eyes as Lupin put a hand to his chest and grimaced in pain. "Those fools, they know nothing! Fortunately for you, I came prepared. Although why I bother when you will no doubt risk yourself again in some idiotic burst of Gryffindor altruism is beyond me. Your doltishness must be contagious."
Even as he spoke, Severus reached into his robes and removed a small blue vial, uncorking it and holding it out to Lupin. "For the pain, and specifically tailored to easing the kinds of aches and pains that your lycanthropy cannot shield you from. I have been working on a few things so that you can recover from the effects of the full moon more quickly, so that you are not as vulnerable to your fellow lycanthropes as you would normally be." He raised a brow, as though daring Remus to comment. "After all, it would hardly do for you to get killed by some stupid young whelp who decided he wanted your position in the pack hierarchy. It would be far too ironic an end."
Remus accepted the vial, amazement and gratitude in his eyes as he looked up at Severus. "Thank you," he said, smiling. "No matter what pragmatic reasons you have, I appreciate it."
He downed the potion, feeling the ache in his chest begin to subside almost immediately, and he relaxed against the thin pillow, breathing easier now that his ribs didn't hurt with every breath. He handed back the vial and was about to speak again when the door opened, and Tonks burst in.
Ignoring Severus - thankfully - she made a beeline for Remus' bed, her face crumpled with worry and remorse. "You're awake!" She perched on the side of the bed and clasped his hand, squeezing it gently. "Oh, God, Remus - I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was trying to hit that bastard Snape, and-"
"It was an accident," Remus interrupted before she could insult Severus further. It wouldn't help their situation if Severus got himself arrested for attacking an Auror right there in the hospital. "It wasn't your fault. It was mine for getting in front of you. Don't worry about it, all right?"
"All right." A trace of worry lingered in her eyes, but she smiled as she leaned over and brushed a lingering kiss against his lips.
A stab of white-hot fury shot through Severus as Tonks burst in, interrupting them like the clumsy cow she was, calling Severus names. Then she actually kissed Remus, right there, in front of him, and Severus squeezed his hand around the vial so tightly that it would have shattered in his palm had he not put an unbreakable charm on it.