McKay (scribbulus_ink) wrote in time_of_storms, @ 2006-01-03 17:25:00 |
|
|||
Original poster: black_cauldron
Music: Dream On, by Aerosmith
A pleased little smile wreathed Remus' features, and he hummed softly as he chopped up a few vegetables to add to the broth simmering in the cooking cauldron over the fire. He'd woken up early as usual, surprised to find himself neither stiff nor sore until he remembered he had spent the night on a mattress instead of a pile of furs, and he had slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Severus.
Waking up curled around Severus had been... surprisingly pleasant. It was a change having Severus' long, lean body in his arms, feeling angles instead of curves, being the smaller one in the embrace, but he rather liked it. Holding Severus felt right, and breathing in Severus' familiar scent was like coming home. He had finally found where he belonged, and it was in the most unexpected place of all.
Severus was breathing evenly, but his face was pale, almost devoid of color, and Remus guessed there would be evidence of the torture he'd suffered beneath the concealing folds of his clothes. Remus had unbuttoned Severus' shirt and removed his shoes to make him more comfortable before beginning his hunt for food, but he had removed nothing else, not wanting to risk Severus' wrath by invading his privacy too much.
The larder was well-stocked, and Remus had decided to make soup, something light but nourishing that wouldn't sit too heavily on Severus' stomach once he woke. Gathering up the chopped vegetables, he dropped them into the broth and put a lid on the cauldron to let it simmer a while.
With that taken care of, he puttered idly around the place, tidying up. He had no intention of leaving until Severus awoke, and not just because Severus had asked him to stay; he didn't want to leave until he knew how Severus was doing and if Severus needed someone to take care of him for a while longer in the aftermath of his ordeal. He would explain his absence to Ethan once he returned, but for now, he was needed more here than there.
When he felt he'd made himself as useful as he could, he browsed Severus' collection of books and selected one, curling up at one end of the sofa to read until Severus awoke, feeling oddly content and at home, more so here than anywhere else he'd been in a long time.
Severus returned to consciousness slowly, waking accompanied by an awareness of soreness in every muscle and joint in his body. It took a few moments for him to piece together the fractured, hazy tangle of his memories, the images of Bellatrix's sneering face overlaid with another, Lupin's face set in creases of worry and stress. He wondered wildly for a moment if he were dreaming, and so he opened his eyes, wincing at the stab of light that seemed to go right through his head. He held them open, however, narrowed almost to slits as he breathed in shallowly to fight down nausea, and finally he was able to resolve his surroundings. He was in his own bed, in the familiar room he had occupied for months now.
And Remus Lupin was sitting across the room, curled up on the sofa and reading a book.
A small breath of surprise escaped him; apparently he hadn't conjured up Lupin out of his dreams. He seemed to recall taking out the parchment, but he wasn't certain. If he had, it would mean that Lupin had been the one to find him, the one who had saved his life. It was both an exhilarating and an alarming realization, but the pounding of his head kept Severus from probing into his ambiguous feelings too deeply. Instead he tried to push himself upright in the bed, gritting his teeth against the vertigo that small movement caused. He closed his eyes again, slumping back down against the pillow in defeat, annoyed with his weakness.
With a sigh, Severus cleared his throat, then spoke in a voice that was low and hoarse. "I am surprised I am still alive."
Remus glanced up and smiled at Severus; closing the book, he put it aside and uncurled himself from the sofa, studying Severus as he approached the bed, noting the signs of pain in Severus' face.
"Little wonder," he said, reaching out to sift his fingers through Severus' hair and smooth it back. "It's little short of miraculous you had the strength or wit to contact me, but thankfully you did. How do you feel?" he asked, smoothing the backs of his fingers along Severus' cheek. "Shall I get you something for the pain? Would you like some tea? I'm making some soup, but it isn't ready yet."
The caress of Remus' fingers through his hair and along his cheek was soothing, and Severus found his eyes drifting closed as he leaned into the touch briefly, telling himself that he was allowed the weakness because of the ordeal he had suffered.
"I feel as though every muscle in my body has been twisted, and every bone in my body broken," he replied, opening his eyes once again as his lips twisted into a grimace. "I have little memory of anything after Bellatrix began attacking me. Bits and pieces, all doused in pain. I seem to recall thinking about the parchment, however. I must have been able to send you a message, although that part is only a blur."
A spasm of pain suddenly ran down Severus' spine, causing him to gasp in surprise. He scowled, riding it out with his jaw clenched tightly, sweat beading his forehead as he deliberately clamped down on the urge to moan. He didn't want to appear weak, not even in front of Remus, the proud reaction nothing more than pure instinct.
When it passed, Severus breathed in shallowly and closed his eyes. "Tea, yes... and a potion. There should be a green bottle on the top shelf." He paused, then opened his eyes once more, realizing how curt he had probably sounded. "I have not said thank you; I want you to know that I am grateful for you saving my life, and for assisting me now."
Drawing his wand, Remus conjured a cool, damp cloth and bathed away the sweat, folding the cloth and leaving it draped across Severus' forehead. He wasn't surprised Severus didn't remember anything from the night before; after what Severus had been through, he was lucky his mind was still intact. He could have ended up like Alice and Frank Longbottom, and Remus wondered why Bellatrix hadn't finished him off. Perhaps she underestimated Severus' mental strength, thinking he had reached the point of insanity, or perhaps she had left him for dead, for dead he likely would be if he hadn't possessed the fortitude to contact Remus.
"You thanked me last night," Remus said, offering a reassuring smile. Part of him was relieved Severus didn't remember, since Severus might not be too happy at the things he had admitted in his drug and pain induced delirium.
He went to find the green bottle and brought it to Severus, perching on the edge of the bed and sliding one arm around him. Encouraging Severus to lean against him, he lifted Severus carefully, uncorking the bottle before holding it to Severus' lips. "Drink this, and then I'll make you some tea."
The cool cloth was soothing, and Severus appreciated the care and attention Remus was giving him, especially in light of the fact that their last meeting had ended so badly, with them agreeing not to see each other again. Severus had felt rebuffed after his attempt to apologize following the provocation which had led to them having sex, and his pride had been wounded by Remus' obvious unhappiness with what had occurred. Severus had been certain that their relationship, whatever it had been, had fractured permanently at that point, which made Remus' obvious concern for him now all the more surprising. Severus had regrets, but as with so many times before, he had trouble facing them and settled for ignoring them instead.
Allowing Remus to support him, Severus drank the entire potion, feeling it begin to work almost before he had taken the last sip. It wasn't the strongest of the pain potions he brewed, but he wanted his wits about him even though it meant dealing with a certain amount of residual discomfort.
"Tea would be welcome," he said, then looked at Remus, frowning in puzzlement. "I thanked you? I... I do not remember. Is that why you stayed? We did not... part well, before. I would not have expected you to come to my aid after... that."
Easing Severus back down on the pillow, Remus stood and busied himself making tea, trying to decide on the best way to answer Severus' unspoken question as he filled the kettle, tapped it with his wand to heat the water, and let the tea leaves steep in a strainer.
"It didn't matter how we parted the last time," he said at last, focusing his attention on searching for a cup and saucer, sugar, and cream. "Your message made it clear how much danger you were in, and that was all that mattered to me. I was worried about you."
Translation: scared witless of losing you.
"I stayed because you asked me to, and because I wanted to make sure you're all right," he continued, his mild tone belying the strength of emotion behind his words. "You called, and I came. Simple as that."
When the tea was ready, he poured a cup and loaded up a tray, carrying it back to Severus and setting it on the bedside table. "Do you want sugar or cream?" he asked, reaching out to remove the cloth and dropping it on the tray.
I was worried about you.
Severus could not help the shiver of reaction down his spine in reaction to those words. People used Severus for their own ends, even if they valued his expertise. They forced him to do things he did not wish to do, or pushed him aside if that were more convenient. No one cared about Severus, about what happened to him, and Remus' words unsettled him, made him feel things that he had no right to feel, could not allow himself to feel.
"Both," he replied absently to Remus' question, before shaking his head and quelling that line of thought. Remus seemed determined to take care of him, and Severus decided it would be best to accept it and not examine his own responses to that care too closely.
When Remus handed him the cup, he sipped it slowly, then sighed as the warmth spread through him. Glancing up at Remus, Severus frowned as something occurred to him, causing him to feel worry for Remus in turn. "Thank you again; I am feeling better now. But don't need to return? I have no wish for you to endanger yourself by being gone too long from your pack."
Remus sat down beside Severus again, facing him. "I'll tell them I was called away by our liaison to the Dark Lord, which is true. I simply won't explain why. That will be sufficient, since they aren't quite disgruntled enough to challenge the Dark Lord or his orders yet."
He scrutinized Severus closely and then shook his head. "You're still too weak to be left on your own. I'm staying," he said, his determined tone brooking no argument.
A scowl crossed Severus' face, but there was no strength behind it. Secretly, he was quite pleased that Remus was firm about remaining with him, but he had to register at least a token protest at the implication that he was not capable of looking after himself... even it that happened to be the case. If Remus wished to play nursemaid, Severus would allow it, and try to keep his mouth shut so that he didn't start another misunderstanding between them again.
"As you wish," he said, sipping his tea to hide the satisfied smirk that wanted to curve his lips. The smirk faded, however, as Remus mentioned Severus' own position, which in part had gotten him into this predicament.
"I am not certain I am the liaison any longer," Severus muttered darkly. "It is possible that Bellatrix has told the Dark Lord that I am dead, or that I have deserted. If she hasn't done it already, no doubt she will in the near future. I believe she planned this; I stand between her and where her ambition tells her that she should be."
"Isn't there some way you can contact him?" Remus asked, a worried frown creasing his brow. "Surely if you tell him she attacked you, he can see the truth in her mind. She's mad indeed if she thinks she can hide what she's done, and I can't imagine he'll be happy that she attacked you."
His expression hardened as he thought of Bellatrix torturing Severus, his hands curling into fists. "Have him send her to us," he said, a growling undercurrent in his voice as the wolf expressed its displeasure over anyone harming the human who belonged to it. "The pack will be all too happy to play with a Pureblood who disdains us."
Himself included. He owed Bellatrix more than one debt, and the fact that she had nearly killed Severus made his desire for revenge even stronger.
Severus contemplated Remus' question, brow furrowed as he thought it through. "It would depend on how carefully she has thought the attack through and planted the evidence," he said slowly, shaking his head in disgust. "If it was a spur of the moment decision to attack me - and it may have been, given that I had not intended on returning to the house at all, until I found I needed something - then perhaps I could show up and make her out to be a liar. But if she has been planning this for a while, she may have covered her tracks. I cannot simply start hurling accusations, because if push came to shove, no doubt Narcissa would back up her sister. Then again, if she expected me to die there or lose my mind, she may have said nothing at all."
Giving a disgruntled sigh, Severus placed his teacup back on the tray. "I would like nothing better than to turn Bellatrix over to your tender mercies," he said, looking at Remus and giving a nasty smile that showed he knew exactly how horrible her fate would be at the hands of the lycanthropes. He was also pleased by the growl in Remus' voice, but although he had the urge to reach out and place his hand against Remus' chest to feel the vibrations of it on his palm, he knew better than to touch. Not after what had happened the last time. He wasn't certain if Remus' feelings about non-platonic physical contact had changed in the least despite Remus' obvious desire to take care of him.
"However," Severus continued, pulling his attention away from the thorny problem of Remus and forcing himself to concentrate on the matter of Bellatrix, "I doubt that it would be wise in the long run. The Dark Lord, fool that he is, has an annoying soft spot for her. It would be too risky for your pack to attack her and face his vengeance."
"A pity, that." Remus understood Severus' reasoning, even if he didn't like it. Dealing with Voldemort's followers was as tricky and political as dealing with the werewolf pack, and there were potential missteps and traps everywhere for the careless to blunder into. "I should very much like to pay her back for what she's done to you," he added, his frown deepening.
The wolf was surly and growly, its possessive instincts urging it to protect Severus, and in this instance, he was in full agreement with his wolf: Bellatrix had hurt Severus, which was unacceptable and must be avenged.
The concern Remus was showing, and his obvious desire for retribution on Severus' behalf gave Severus the sudden desire to pull Remus into his arms and kiss him senseless. No one had ever wanted to fight Severus' battles before, to defend him against his enemies. The fiercely independent part of him sneered, saying that he didn't need anyone to come to his aide, but that inner voice had been getting quieter and quieter as of late, drowned out by the part that was attracted to Remus and felt fierce satisfaction at the evidence of Remus' protective feelings toward him.
The hardest part was trying desperately not to care too much in return.
"She will pay, eventually," Severus replied, giving a firm nod that made him wince, reminding him of the pain which the potions hadn't completely overcome. He reached a hand to rub the back of his neck, easing the spasm of the muscles which twitched beneath his skin, and swung his legs to the side of the bed, pushing himself up to stand. The effort hurt, but he was determined to master his body, despite the fact that he swayed on his feet for a moment before steadying himself with a hand against the wall.
"Hang on there." Remus frowned as he stood up and slid his arm around Severus' waist to help steady him. "There's no reason for you to get up. If there's something you want, I'll get it for you, and if you try to be stubborn about it, I'll tie you to the bed," he scolded.
Guiding Severus back to bed, he continued in a softer, more cajoling voice. "If you want a bath, let me take you to the tub, or I'll give you a sponge bath, if you prefer. Or I could rub your back to help you relax. If you want a book or to change clothes or something to eat, I'll bring whatever you want, just don't exert yourself."
He peered at Severus with concern in his eyes and reached up to caress Severus' wan cheek. "You don't look well. You need to rest, and I promise I won't tell anyone that for a day or two out of your entire life, you weren't in any condition to be fiercely independent as always, all right?"
The comment about being tied to the bed gave Severus pause, and he turned his head to peer at Remus suspiciously, wondering if the wayward direction of his earlier thoughts had been apparent, and if Remus were twitting him about it. But as far as Severus could tell, it was nothing more than a threat to get him to behave, and he subsided with a grumbled sigh, allowing Remus to turn him back in the direction of the bed.
"I would like to clean up and change clothes," Severus replied, voice oddly subdued from the effects of Remus' hand caressing his cheek with such tenderness. He arched a brow, however, at the comment about his independent streak. "I am afraid that independence was born of necessity; you realize that until only a few brief months ago, no one ever had any desire to take care of me, so I have always had to do for myself. I keep wondering when you will come to your senses and decide I am not worth the effort after all."
"I won't," Remus said mildly as he guided Severus to sit down on the edge of the bed. "It seems my wolf has decided to take you under its protection, so you won't be rid of me easily." Capturing Severus' hand, he lifted it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the palm as he had done the night before and then smiled at Severus. "Now then - would you prefer a tub bath or a sponge bath?" he asked as he knelt to tug off Severus' socks.
Severus allowed himself to be urged down onto the mattress, raising a brow at Remus' assertion that his wolf felt protective of Severus. He was about to make a sardonic comment about not wanting to be considered Remus' pup, when Remus suddenly took his hand, and Severus shivered at the feeling of warm, soft lips brushing against the sensitive skin of his palm. It was a sensation at once both new and oddly familiar, and Severus blinked, his mind playing him an image of Remus performing the same action, and Severus feeling it as a comfort through the fog of disorientation and pain.
Black eyes glittered as Severus watched Remus kneel at his feet, Remus' hands on his calves removing his socks. If it weren't for the lingering aches and pains of his ordeal, Severus would have happily hauled Remus up into the bed to kiss him senseless and damn the consequences. It was probably just as well that such a response was out of the question right now; Remus was feeling concerned for him, and Severus had no desire to see that concern harden into the coldness which had ended their last encounter.
A tub bath, however, was out of the question; Severus wasn't certain that he could retain enough of his willpower to not embarrass himself by reacting to Remus' closeness. "If you would bring me my wand, I can cast a cleaning charm," he replied, letting his hair fall over his face to obscure the flush he knew must be creeping over his cheeks. It was a weakness, and he despised himself for it, but there wasn't anything he could do about it at the moment.
Remus sat back on his heels and gazed up at Severus, studying him. In spite of Severus' attempts to hide the stain of pink in his cheeks, Remus could see it, and he could sense Severus' discomfort. It didn't take much effort to guess that their last encounter likely was the reason Severus was keeping Remus at a distance now; Remus had rejected him and stung his pride, which meant he wasn't going to give Remus a chance to push him away again no matter how much he might want Remus - and after last night, Remus knew he did.
"I realize you don't remember much about last night," he said at last, choosing his words with care. "But it changed things. I went to find you because I wanted to save you if I could. Not for the sake of the Order or the war, but because I don't want to lose you."
He curled his fingers loosely around Severus' ankle and rubbed the top of Severus' foot with his thumb. "You sent a message, but it wasn't a plea for help. You said good-bye." He met and held Severus' gaze, his expression somber. "To me. All this time, I've thought you still disliked me, perhaps even hated me. I thought you were using me. Now I know that isn't the case." He offered a tentative smile. "The wolf and I both desire you, and I won't push you away again."
Remus' words sent a thrill up Severus' spine despite his condition. The combination of alarm and desire it caused made Severus catch his breath, and he stared hard at Remus, looking for any sign of duplicity, any indication that this was more "charity" on Remus' part, or perhaps exaggeration from Remus being worried that Severus might have died. But there was no duplicity in Remus' gaze, and Severus reached out a hand, trailing it down Remus' cheek before letting it fall to Remus' shoulder, which he squeezed.
"I do not hate you... I haven't, not for a long time," he replied slowly. "I despised your friends and loathed your choices, but mine have hardly been above reproach, either. I think... I think I realized that we were more alike than I was comfortable with. What is it that they say? That we loathe most in others that which we see that reminds us of what we fear in ourselves?"
Severus' lips quirked up, not quite a smile, more an ironic admission of something that he had denied for a very long time. But things were getting more personal than he was comfortable discussing, so he decided to change the subject. "I am dark, you are dark... and seeing that neither of us loathes the other, I believe I have changed my mind, and I will take that tub bath after all."
It wouldn't lead anywhere, of course, not with the state Severus was in, but at least he wouldn't have to be embarrassed, knowing that Remus was attracted to him as well.
Remus leaned into the touch of Severus' hand, smiling when Severus confirmed that the hatred he had once felt for Remus was gone. He agreed with Severus' thought about how alike they were under the skin, but since Severus seemed uncomfortable with the discussion taking a more personal turn - and since Remus had a limit on the number of Serious and Vulnerable Confessions he was willing to make in one day - he decided to focus on the far more enjoyable prospect of bathing Severus again.
Rising to his feet, he patted Severus' knee. "Stay right there," he instructed. "I'll prepare the tub and come and get you. Don't try to move around on your own, or I won't get in the tub with you this time." He wagged his finger for good measure, hoping the playful threat would be enough to keep Severus still.
He hurried off to the bathroom and gathered up the shampoo, soap, and bath oil he wanted as the tub filled with steaming hot water. He retrieved the bath sponge as well, preferring it to washcloths, and fetched two thick, fluffy towels as well. Severus was in no shape for sex, but that didn't mean they couldn't enjoy a little intimacy, and he thought it might be more pleasurable for them both if they were in the water together. The thought of caressing Severus' bare, soapy skin made heat detonate in the pit of his stomach, and while it might not be a wise idea, it certainly seemed like a fun idea.
Severus blinked in surprise, not having expected this kind of development. Remus intended to get in the tub with him? All manner of images began to filter into Severus' mind, but he drew in a deep breath and used all his Occlumency skills to banish them. He really did need rest in order to recover from his ordeal. Overstimulation of sensitive nerves following repeated exposure to Cruciatus would not be pleasant, but even that knowledge didn't mean Severus wasn't awfully tempted to try anyway.
He waited impatiently after Remus left, listening to the sounds of Remus bustling about in the bathroom. Water began to run, and Severus crossed his arms over his chest as he waited. When Remus reappeared, Severus scowled. "I have not moved," he said testily. "But I have come to the conclusion that you are a bloody tease, Lupin."
"Really? I've no idea why you might think such a thing, Severus," Remus replied mildly as he returned to the bed to collect Severus, amused by Severus' petulance - and by the fact that his threat had indeed worked, which pleased him as well.
Everything was in readiness in the bathroom, and the large tub awaited, although Remus had opted not to add bubbles this time, adding a soothing oil instead. All that remained was to relax and enjoy it. Together.
"I was always called the quiet one, you know," he added as he reached out to remove Severus' shirt, sliding it down his arms and tossing it aside, and then he began unfastening Severus' trousers. Severus lifted his hips, and Remus stripped away both trousers and underpants, sternly reminding himself to behave as he scooped Severus up in his arms and carried him into the bathroom.
Giving a small harumph at Remus' obvious amusement, Severus allowed Remus to undress him, taking pleasure in the care Remus was showing toward him. When Remus lifted him up, Severus wrapped his arms around Remus' shoulders, thrilling once again to the knowledge of Remus' supernatural strength, so rarely shown but so attractive to Severus as a reminder of the wolf within.
"Quiet does not necessarily mean a bloody thing," Severus muttered, leaning his head down to press his lips close to Remus' ear, aware that he was being teased and not quite certain how to respond to having Remus' playful side directed at him for a change. "Still waters are supposed to run deep, after all."
Hearing Severus' voice so close to his ear and feeling Severus' breath warm against his skin wasn't helping Remus' resolve to behave, but he he reminded himself there would be time for play when Severus was healed.
"Mmm. I've heard that saying as well." He smiled placidly as he lowered Severus into the water, careful not to bump him against the side of the tub. Stepping back, he toed off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt, shrugging out of it and letting it drop to the floor. "I suppose you'll find out if it's true of me or not."
He stripped off his trousers, socks, and underpants with swift efficiency and then stepped into the tub, settling in behind Severus. Bending his knees to bracket Severus, he wound his arms around Severus' shoulders and tugged, encouraging him to lean back. "Rest against me," he said, massaging Severus' upper arms gently. "Just relax for a few minutes and let the hot water do its work. I added some oil that's meant to help with sore muscles."
Black eyes were full of banked heat as Severus watched Remus strip, noting with concern the scarring on his chest and shoulder, overlaid by the fresher pink of healing scratches. Now, however, was not the time to ask about them, and he willingly relaxed back against Remus as instructed. He wasn't certain what was more soothing, the heated, medicated water or the warmth of Remus' body against his back, but he reveled in both, willing to let Remus spoil him after what Severus had suffered.
Trailing a hand up and down one of Remus' shins where it rested against his side, Severus spoke in a low drawl. "I suppose I should thank Bellatrix for this," he said, lips twisting in sardonic amusement. "Although I rather think it would put even more of a dent in her celebration to know that not only did she fail to kill me, she managed to do something that neither of us could do - overcome our stubborn pride."
Remus chuckled as he massaged Severus' shoulders, hoping to soothe away some of the tightness and pain. "So it would seem. As much as I hate the thought of you suffering as you did, and as much as I would like to break her neck, this one good thing did come out of it. For that, at least, I'm grateful."
Sweeping aside the curtain of dark hair, Remus massaged Severus' neck, pressing firmly with his thumbs as he worked out the tension he felt knotted beneath Severus' skin. He traced the bumps of vertebrae lightly, remembering the way Severus had bared the vulnerable nape, remembered the taste of skin and sweat and blood on his tongue as he took what was offered.
Never had he expected to see Severus make such a submissive gesture, especially not to him, and it was little wonder that Remus' wolf felt so proprietary now. Severus had as good as proclaimed himself to belong to the wolf, and the wolf had no qualms about accepting the offer.
Remus brushed a light kiss at the spot where his teeth had marked Severus' skin. There was no trace of the wound now; it was too shallow, and it hadn't been inflicted with the violent intent to harm, thus the curse hadn't been triggered, and Severus was mercifully safe from infection. Unlike his own body, which bore the evidence of Greyback's attack decades ago as well as the dominance battles he had fought in the past year or so. His clothes had given him some protection, but he still bore a few scratches and bite marks, mostly on his arms, but there were one or two on his chest and back as well. Greyback's bite was a knotty lump of scar tissue on his right shoulder, the worst of the lot.
The massage was just what Severus needed, and as Remus' strong, slender fingers worked at the aching knots in his muscles, Severus relaxed, going boneless and pliant in Remus' arms. "I shall be certain to convey your gratitude to her," Severus snorted in amusement, his voice becoming languid as he felt the pain subsiding further with each passing moment.
A slight moan escaped him as Remus' attention became focussed on his neck. It had always been one of the most sensitive parts of Severus' body, and the feeling of Remus concentrating his efforts there made Severus want to practically melt into the water. That feeling only intensified as Remus pressed his lips against Severus' nape, and Severus reached back with a hand, sliding it up Remus' shoulder and into his hair, lacing his fingers into the soft, honey-brown strands to show his approval.
Remus smiled, partly in pleasure at seeing evidence that his attempts to help Severus were working and partly in amused wonderment at the position he now found himself in. If anyone had ever said he would one day cuddle in a bathtub with Severus Snape, he would have thought them barking mad. Yet here he was, and he had no regrets about it.
He released a slow, humming sigh and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Severus' fingers in his hair. He could grow accustomed to this all too easily; the softer side of Severus, the one that seemed to crave touch and to soak up attention and affection, was addictive. Being needed was addictive. How easy it would be to let Severus become his world - his reason to continue living. How easy and how dangerous. Yet he was beginning to wonder if the choice was already out of his hands.
Snapping himself out of that train of thought, he shifted, lifting himself up and leaning over the edge of the tub to grope for the sponge. He wet it and soaped it, and then he began trailing it up and down the length of Severus' chest in something almost like a caress.
Severus was too relaxed to contemplate the oddity of their situation, for once merely accepting the comfort Remus was providing. He glanced back over his shoulder as Remus moved, then relaxed once again with a purr of pleasure, letting his head fall back against Remus' shoulder as Remus ran the sponge over Severus' chest.
"That feels nice," he murmured, closing his eyes. It felt so good, driving away the residual pain, and without meaning to, Severus drifted off to sleep again, displaying a level of trust in Remus that he had never shown to anyone else in his life.
The limpness of Severus' body and the change in Severus' breathing let Remus know that he had fallen asleep, and Remus continued bathing him with a light touch, careful not to jostle him. Severus needed the rest, and Remus intended to make certain he got it.
Getting out of the tub was a slow and painstaking process as he maneuvered Severus until he could stand with Severus in his arms, ignoring the towels in favor of scrounging for his wand so he could perform a drying spell on them both. It wasn't the thorough bath-and-shampoo he'd given Severus the last time, but it would do for now.
Briefly, he debated about whether to try to get Severus into a nightshirt or a pair of clean underpants, but he decided against it in the end; the movement might wake up Severus, and all things considered, he rather thought they were both past the point of body modesty with each other.
Instead, he carried Severus to bed, and with a wave of his wand, he swept the covers out of the way. He lay Severus down, pausing to smooth stray tendrils back from Severus' face before sliding into bed with him. Drawing the covers up around them, he dropped his wand onto the bedside table and guided Severus to lie on his side so Remus could snuggle up behind him, one arm draped across his waist.
With his nose buried against the nape of Severus' neck and his leg insinuated between Severus' knees, he closed his eyes and let himself drift off as well. By the time they woke up, the soup would be ready, and perhaps Severus would be feeling well enough to sit up for a while. In the meantime, Remus was content to lie in bed, warmed by the heat of Severus' body in his arms. Outside this haven, there was danger awaiting them both, but here they were safe, and for right now, Remus thought the rest of the world could go hang.