McKay (scribbulus_ink) wrote in time_of_storms, @ 2005-12-10 16:50:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | chronological, joint |
4 September 1997
Original poster: black_cauldron
Music: Piece of My Heart, by Janis Joplin
Severus Apparated back to his room, almost vibrating from the amount of tension coursing through his body. He could feel the lines of tension cutting his forehead, the muscles of his face stiff and sore from the effort of keeping the snarl off his face, his head throbbing from the sheer mental force he had had to exert to keep his Occlumency from slipping and revealing his inner thoughts. And horrific thoughts they were, thoughts of hate and blood and death.
Finally alone, he gave in to the frustration, to the rage he felt at what he had been ordered to do. A flush stained his pale cheeks, and with a growl of fury, he snatched up the nearest object, a small statue of some snotty looking aristocrat, no doubt some venerable, pureblooded Malfoy ancestor, given the long, blonde hair. A perfect outlet upon which to vent, and Severus turned, hurling it against the wall and watching in immense satisfaction as it shattered into a million pieces with a sound like a bomb exploding.
Black eyes glittered as he watched the fragments fall to the thick carpet, littering the deep green pile with flecks of white porcelain. It wasn't enough; it wasn't nearly enough catharsis, but it would have to do for the moment. Despite his inner turmoil, Severus had things to do.
Reaching into his robes, he extracted the parchment and quill he and Lupin had created together, and scrawled a hasty note.
Must see you immediately.
Terse, but to the point. Lupin would get the message, and hopefully there would be something that the damned Order could do; because if they couldn't, things were about to get a great deal worse... for all of them.
Remus swiped the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the trickle of blood from his split lip, and stared down at the prone form at his feet with contempt in his eyes. Stephen had finally done it; chafing under Ethan's leadership, Stephen knew he couldn't take on the pack leader, so he'd taken out his frustration on Remus instead, picking a fight that led to a challenge, and now he lay beaten.
Panting, Remus winced as he straightened from a battle crouch and stepped away; he didn't think his ribs were broken, but they were most certainly bruised, and he knew his face looked a right mess with a black eye and a bloody nose to go with his split lip. He was lucky; nothing was broken this time, although Stephen hadn't got off so lightly. If Remus hadn't broken his arm, it wouldn't be for lack of trying.
The rest of the pack watched them impassively now that the fight was over, although the dynamics had already shifted with Remus gaining status and Stephen losing it, and no one moved to help Stephen. Either he would tend to his own injuries, or he would suffer, perhaps die. There was no sympathy or coddling for losers here.
If Remus asked, he could probably find someone willing to help tend his wounds, but he wouldn't ask. It would solidify his position more if he showed independence, and he was accustomed to taking care of himself anyway.
A rustle of movement in his pocket distracted him, and he realized Severus must be trying to contact him. Damnable timing, but considering Severus hadn't contacted him via the parchment in weeks, he thought it must be important.
"I'm going to clean up," he muttered, his voice more than half-growl, and with that, he turned and stalked into the forest. No one would follow; no one cared what he did, and they were probably more interested in watching to see how Stephen fared anyway.
As soon as he was out of earshot, he Apparated straight to Severus' room, not bothering to read the message or to mend the new rips in his clothes or brush off the dirt and blood. Whatever the reason for the summons, he hoped it was brief; he was hardly in the mood to socialize, and he didn't trust himself if Severus began provoking him.
Severus turned, raising a brow as Lupin Apparated in so unceremoniously. He tossed the parchment and the quill on the sofa table, then crossed his arms over his chest, staring intently at Lupin. The man was a mess, dirty and bloody and sweating, with bruises already forming on his face and who knew where else on his body.
"Been making friends?" Severus asked, lips twisting to cover the surge of concern he felt at Lupin's current condition. He couldn't afford to give in to the weakness, to the desire to take care of Lupin, to clean him up, heal his injuries and offer potions to alleviate the pain as he had done in the past. Severus was barely holding on to his temper as it was, and to be pushed away by Lupin again for trying to help would no doubt send him over the edge completely.
"All part of the usual fun and games at high tea with werewolves," Remus retorted, trying and failing to muster his usual mild tone. The wolf was far too close to the surface in the aftermath of the fight; it was reveling in the blood and violence, and it wasn't eager to relinquish its ascendency so soon.
In spite of Remus' efforts to push it down, it crawled just beneath the surface of his skin, making him edgy and restless, and it was even more alert now, scenting Severus and growing hungry. Want, it demanded, but Remus fought to ignore it, trying to focus on the task at hand.
"What did you need to see me about, Severus?" he asked tersely.
There was a feral glint in Lupin's eyes, one that beckoned to Severus in attractive and dangerous ways. Blacks eyes glittered in response, sensing the presence of the primal force, the beast that lay in Lupin's heart, the one that made a mockery of the calm, refined mask behind which Lupin hid himself away. The Darkness in Lupin called to Severus' Darkness, challenging him, making him want to answer that barely restrained violence with force of his own.
Which was something he must not allow.
Obviously Lupin must have been in a fight with another werewolf to have brought the beast so close to the surface. Even disheveled and battered as he was, the rising wolf gave Lupin a presence and a power that Severus knew few other people had ever seen, and Severus responded to it on an instinctive level that he couldn't deny, no matter how much he wanted to do so.
"Your problems with those wild idiots are nothing compared to what is about to happen," Severus replied, tone sharper than he had intended as he tried to keep himself in check. "I have been ordered to free Lucius Malfoy from Azkaban in two days time. Unless there is something that the Order can do to prevent it, Potter is about to have an enraged tiger set to stalk him, and there will not be a damned thing I can do to stop it."
"What?" Remus stared at him, aghast and agape at the news. He wasn't certain what boggled him the most: the thought of Voldemort expecting Severus to find a way to free Malfoy, or the thought of Malfoy once more on the loose. He would be a fugitive, yes, but he would have the assistance of his wife and his money to arrange whatever he wanted even with the constraints of being an escaped convict upon him.
"Bloody hell." He sighed and rubbed his temples, the throbbing of his head growing worse by the minute. "I suppose we could arrange to have him moved, but I've no idea where. There are no other long term prison facilities. Perhaps Arthur or Kingsley will have suggestions." He grimaced, baring his teeth. "Or perhaps we ought to assassinate him and have done with it."
"This is hardly the first time I have been ordered to do something I would rather slit my own wrists than go through with," Severus snapped, not angry with Lupin, but feeling pressured and strained by his own role in this, just as he had felt pressured by his promise to Albus. He had tried to get out of it, but between Bellatrix's ambition and Narcissa's pleading, Voldemort had ordered the rescue. And of course Severus, as the only one with the power and brains to carry off such a thing, had been ordered to do it.
The bared teeth made Severus simultaneously want to snarl in response and bare his throat, and the conflicting desires did nothing to help his temper. "If the bloody damned Order would actually have the guts to kill people who are dangerous rather than imprisoning them, we would not be facing this problem in the first place. Damned Gryffindor nobility in this war has caused more problems than it has solved!"
"They do kill people who are dangerous," Remus snapped, annoyed with himself, but his entire body was battered and sore, and the wolf was growling insistently, making it far more difficult for him to keep his usual calm demeanor in place. "My kind, for example. It's the normal humans they're squeamish about sending to the executioner. As for the Order, we don't kill our prisoners because we aren't going to stoop to the Dark Lord's level. That's what separates us from him and his followers, who don't place any value on life."
"And what does that make me, then, for having killed Dumbledore? For being entirely willing to kill again if I must, no matter the stain on my hands and my soul for doing what I must to make certain the Dark Lord is destroyed forever?" Severus snarled, looking at Lupin with eyes that held a dangerous glint. "I suppose it is fine for me to do the dirty work, since I am tainted anyway. But if the Order is going to hold to high and mighty ideals, and lock people up who should be dead, they are going to lose this war! Because I assure you that the Dark Lord will not hesitate, and eventually, all the idealists will have been eliminated. The Order had bloody well better learn to kill... otherwise there will only be me left to fight him."
"I suppose you expect me to convince them single-handedly?" Remus matched Severus glare for glare, his hands clenching into fists in spite of his efforts to keep control. He couldn't even muster a convincing argument against Severus' words, because he knew the truth of them. The Order couldn't afford to hold back, not when Voldemort didn't. "I don't disagree with you, but I can't go about advocating savagery. It would land me in Azkaban right beside Malfoy, and you know it."
"Well, it is not as if they will listen to me!" Severus snapped in response, forgetting his resolve to hold his temper and his tongue. His anger took him, and he practically shook with the force of it. "What would it hurt for you to tell them a few harsh truths about the war, Lupin? You have seen it, I know you have - you cannot have lived among those beasts and still believe that even if the war is won that we will be free of the evil that the Dark Lord has sown, the Darkness he has stirred up. What is the problem? You didn't learn your lesson with Black, did you? You are still so bloody afraid of what people think of you that you would rather watch all your supposed friends die rather than blacken your pure reputation by telling the truth!"
The wolf within him howled with fury at the challenge, and before he was even aware of what he was doing, Remus surged toward Severus and fisted his hands in Severus' shirt, shoving him roughly until his back hit the nearest wall. The barbs hit too close to home, but Remus was beyond rational discourse, reacting on instincts to lash out and hurt and subdue.
His eyes glowed with a primal fury, darkened to green as he bared his teeth and snarled, his voice a low growl. "Don't push me, Severus. I've just dealt with one challenge, and you are treading on dangerous ground right now."
Severus' breath left him as he found himself thrust against the wall, staring into Lupin's face, watching hungrily as the wolf revealed itself, stripping Lupin's masks away completely.
The snarl, the eyes, the growl... Severus couldn't help but respond to it. Despite all his intentions, despite what he knew would probably be a tremendous mistake, he was lost, caught up in the moment, in Lupin's nearness and the power of the rising wolf calling to him like a siren's song. The wolf couldn't stand a challenge, and therefore Severus couldn't help but issue one.
"You won't do it, Lupin," he drawled, staring into Lupin's eyes, his own heated with the light of battle and lust. "You don't have the guts."
Remus snapped. With the wolf's fury igniting his blood, he couldn't back down, and he was driven to subdue this insolent human who dared challenge him. His fingers flexed as he fought the urge to pick Severus up and toss him across the room like a rag doll, the thin sliver of humanity left in the midst of the enraging howling of his mind warning him that he couldn't treat this challenger like any other.
Lust for blood, lust for flesh - the wolf didn't care which was fulfilled as long as this weak human submitted and acknowledged its dominance, and Remus struggled desperately to channel the urge for violence in another direction.
Crushing his mouth against Severus', he forced his tongue between Severus' lips in a bruising kiss, a fierce growl rumbling in his chest as he pressed against Severus, demanding that he yield.
Lupin's response wasn't a surprise, given what had occurred before; in fact, a part of Severus had been counting on it, wanted it, even needed it. This was a power he was willing to meet head on, willing to match, even willing to submit to.
But not yet.
Wrapping his arms around Lupin, Severus responded to the kiss, Lupin's growl vibrating against his chest, making him desperately wish that they were naked so that he could feel it soaking into his skin as though he were a sponge, greedy for sensation. He met the invasion of Lupin's tongue, matched it, refusing to back down. He was hungry, starving, and Lupin was a feast that he intended to devour... or perhaps be devoured by.
Moaning into Lupin's mouth, Severus' nails raked down Lupin's back, through the thin material of his shirt. It wasn't a gesture meant to injure, but one to provoke, to beguile, to show the wolf that he was a match for it. He wanted the wolf, wanted all of it, wanted all of Lupin... and he was beyond caring how he got it.
Remus' heart pounded, the human side of him screaming warnings and denials even as he yanked open Severus' shirt, sending buttons flying. A low, continual growl vibrated from his body to Severus' as he arched against Severus' hands, wanting to feel those nails scoring his bare flesh.
Clamping his teeth on Severus' bottom lip, he sucked and bit as he stripped away Severus' shirt, his hands roaming Severus' torso possessively. This was wrong, this was a mistake, and yet he had no will to stop it; the wolf was in control, eager to subdue and claim, and after weeks of wanting, it would no longer be denied its prey.
Lupin's hands were on him, tearing at his clothing, and Severus felt a fierce surge of arousal at the power, at the hunger of the wolf. Hunger for him. Arousal was swift and hard and undeniable, and Severus gasped, pressing against Lupin's hands, wanting more, needing more with an overwhelming hunger Severus had never felt before.
He gasped as Lupin bit his lip, the pained pleasure an exquisite sensation which he craved. Severus' hands ripped madly at Lupin's already torn shirt, shredding it further until he could press his palms to warm, bare skin. Eagerly he explored, molding the ridges of bone and flat planes of muscle, raking furrows on the pale expanses with his nails.
Moving lower, Severus curved his hands around the jut of Lupin's hips, pulling Lupin tightly to him, grinding them together and purring in satisfaction at the friction. His eyes still glittered in defiance, but there was hunger in them as well, and he stared at Lupin boldly, refusing to back down. If it was a challenge that excited the wolf, then by God, Severus was going to give him one and revel in the results.
Remus read the defiance in Severus' eyes, and it made the wolf howl in frustration; his eyes blazed with feral need, and he let out a low hiss as Severus' hands roamed and explored. He was hardly touch-starved even though it had been weeks since he ended his relationship with Tonks, but their intimacy had been nothing like this. He had never shown her this side of himself, never handled her so roughly, and the more Severus pushed him, the more he wanted to let go.
With an animalistic snarl, he ripped Severus' trousers open and then grabbed Severus' shoulders, spinning him around before Severus could protest or resist, and he shoved Severus against the wall again, pinning him as Remus ground against him, growling in his ear.
Severus' heart was pounding, and he knew his skin had flushed with the depth of the need he felt. He saw the hunger in Lupin's eyes, the need burning in their depths, and he snarled in triumphant at having been the one to put it there. He wanted Lupin to lose control. He wanted Lupin to let go and allow the wolf free reign. Given their history, perhaps Severus should have feared that power, feared the Darkness. But he didn't - he wanted it as he had never wanted anything else in his life.
Suddenly he was whirled about, finding himself pushed face first into the wall, his trousers all but torn from him and Lupin pressed against his back. The moist heat of Lupin's breath and the sound of his growl caressed Severus' ear, and he shuddered, pushing back against Lupin, arching and struggling even though he had no intention of fighting for freedom. He hissed in pleasure at the feeling of Lupin hard against him, and he wanted more, wanted it all. Wanted it now.
"What are you waiting for?" he drawled, his tone deliberately pitched to be mocking. "Go on... I dare you."