Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Who: Hope and Wes When: Afternoon Where: Infirmary What: Hope is a clutz.
Stupid! That's what that was. Experimenting with Holy Water was bad enough for a vampire, but not taking proper precautions when handling it was just ridiculous. And this was what she got, a huge burn all the way down her left arm. The pain was excruciating, and she tried to treat it on her own but nothing she tried seemed to help. So after a few minutes of failed attempts, she wrapped her arm up in a towel and made her way quickly to the infirmary. She was practically in tears by the time she got there. The nurse on call ushered Hope quickly back into a room where she was told to wait. It wasn't until the door to the room was opening that the thought that Wesley could be the one treating her even crossed her mind and, by that time, it was too late to slip quietly away and figure out something else instead.
~~~
When Wesley was told there was an emergency he didn't for the life of him imagine it'd be a vampire he loved covered in holy water. But that was what he got when he rushed into the ward, seeing Hope grimacing in intense pain clutching her arm. One look crossed his face, of hesitation, before worry and the natural desire to help flooded through and he was at her side in moments, taking her arm in his warm hands to softly examine the wound. The nurse at his side was ordered to get some clean water and solvent spray. "What did you do?" he asked Hope quietly.
~~~
When the door opened and it was Wesley standing there, Hope felt a flood of far too many things at once. Tension, guilt, worry, a bit of fear, but also relief because she did trust him to take care of her. At least she could pass the state she was in as he moved to her side and took hold of her arm off on the pain of it all, though that was dulling quite siginificantly in light of the moment. "I was.. stupid." She exhaled a laugh. "I didn't... put the lid on the bottle that I had, I've been doing a bit of work with.. holy water and vampire dna to try to figure out the.... the why behind it and..." She huffed out a breath and concluded, "You know how clumsy I am." Thankfully she had only managed to get her arm and nothing else.
~~~
As Hope explained Wesley sprayed on some of the cleaning fluid and watched it seal the burn. Great inventions these things, he really liked it when people helped make his job just that little bit easier. "It's close to a third degree burn but I should be able to get it to a one and your natural healing ability will take care of the rest," he explained, wanting to put her at ease. The more Hope knew the more she'd probably calm down. Scientists liked that sort of thing. "Ok so I want you to just breathe normally, so I can work my hey presto magic man act and if you feel me start to get too hot just.... well just don't mention it cause I'm saving your arm anyway." With that Wesley took a very deep breath placing one hand up just under her sleeve and the other at her wrist, beginning to peer inside of her skin, under the vessels, amongst the blood and the burned cells and nerves stinging her.
~~~
The spray made her wince a little, but it also felt rather soothing. Hope nodded her head when he told her what the plan of action was. She did appreciate that. Of course she smiled when he told her to breathe normally. "I don't really have to breathe, Wesley." But it might help her to be focused while he did what he had to do. She turned her gaze away as he placed his hands on her. She was a scientist and a doctor, sure, but she didn't care to see that sort of thing when it was her own injury in question.
~~~
It was a pity she didn't look because over the years Wesley had managed to perfect the art of healing burns somewhat magnificently. The nerve and muscle tissue began to reverse its damage, as if it were rejecting the scorches and burns from the liquid, and blended together like it was knitting itself into fresh skin. Layer after layer Hope's arm refreshed, the worst bits first of course, and then finally when the blisters were the only things left, Wesley let out a very long, tired sigh, his hands radiating heat like a log fire. "I am getting too old for this. Ok. I can do the other pieces in a bit if you want, just.... I need some ice water...." The nurse was already getting some.
~~~
Hope didn't have to see it to feel it. And it felt exactly like that, like everything was rebuilding. And after a moment, she couldn't help but to look because the way that it felt, though painful, was fascinating. And seeing it was even more so. Though when he spoke and she looked up at him, concern immediately welled up inside of her. She would have gotten the water for him if the nurse hadn't already left to do so as if on cue. "It's.. fine. The rest should mend itself in a day or so." Hope hesitated before she added, "You should really sit down, Wesley. Here." She scooted over a bit. "There's room."
~~~
With his hands in a bucket of water the healer managed to scoot on to the seat next to Hope, trying to ignore how good she smelled and the way her hair fell over her shoulders or the softness of her clothes and skin that he briefly touched with his arm. He stared determinedly into the bowl, chewing his bottom lip for a while. He'd only just remembered how he'd stormed out of her apartment. That wasn't a good, lasting memory. And now he felt more awkward than he did before. "You should, ah... be all done in less than that, really, the solvent's - the solvent's got a natural agent that - does something to speed up the natural process of superduper healing."
~~~
With his hands in a bucket of water the healer managed to scoot on to the seat next to Hope, trying to ignore how good she smelled and the way her hair fell over her shoulders or the softness of her clothes and skin that he briefly touched with his arm. He stared determinedly into the bowl, chewing his bottom lip for a while. He'd only just remembered how he'd stormed out of her apartment. That wasn't a good, lasting memory. And now he felt more awkward than he did before. "You should, ah... be all done in less than that, really, the solvent's - the solvent's got a natural agent that - does something to speed up the natural process of superduper healing."
~~~
Hope could feel that awkwardness between them and she hated it. But for the moment, she was trying to ignore it. "Great. Good. I'm.. glad you were here." She laughed a little and then added, "I have enough scars already." But then she frowned as she glanced at him and asked, "It won't scar, will it?" She hated to be so vain, but having a hideous scar down her arm would not sit well with her at all. If that's what ended up happening, well, she would have to deal with it, but she would definitely prefer otherwise. The nurse returned with the ice water just then, leaving it for Wesley and then taking her leave, perhaps because of the awkwardness that was quite tangible in the air between them. And besides that, it wasn't like everyone didn't already know things. That was one of the things Hope hated the most about this place. "Are you feeling any better?" She asked after a moment, capturing her lower lip between sharp teeth and worrying it slightly.
~~~
Wesley glanced at her arm, eager for the nurse to leave the water. "Not if I did my job properly." Really, he didn't think it would but there was always a possibility when opposing elements met each other head on. Say for instance a sexy stupid vampire pouring holy water all over hserlf. As soon as the bowl of cool liquid was infront of him the healer put his palms straight in, sighing softly as the heat eased and his skin's pain faded. A moment later, though, and he was frowning for a different reason. "It depends what you mean."
~~~
"I mean physically," Hope repllied, though he already knew that was exactly how she'd meant it. As for the rest... "You were right to be angry with me." It wasn't often that Hope admitted to being in the wrong. She was the type of woman who would argue with a stop sign and throw rocks at it for being right. But in this instance, he was right. And there was no denying that. "If I am serious about wanting to be with you, I shouldn't be going out with him. And vice versa." She paused and then added, "I really care about you both. But maybe I just don't know yet who..." This was difficult to say because she knew how difficult it would be for him to hear, but it had to be said, right? "Who I want to be with just now. But that's why I haven't slept with either of you."
~~~
It was odd that she apologised and admitted she'd done something to upset someone. She didn't like to view an option that made her wrong. It was good to hear an apology but not what came after. "Difference is I'm not seeing anyone else. I told you that I might have trouble adapting because I had trouble before, and it's a worry I always - ALWAYS - have. If you don't want honesty and if you don't know whether you want the old man or the young Zorro you shouldn't have wasted my time and let me know back ten years ago instead of me making an internal vow to wait for you, or get so damn angry about you confusing me to fuck that I confess I want you. I gave up a lot for you, and I meant it, I'm not a jacket that you can choose to wear like 'which one for this season?'. And this time I won't wait. So if you want me, you better figure it out." He stood then, moving the bowl with him and walked over to the side, removing his hands and dabbing them on a nearby towel.
~~~
"I never asked you to wait for me, Wesley." Hope hadn't required any vows from him. She had simply left. If she had come back and he had moved on it would be no one's fault but her own and she knew that. And she would have been happy for him, just as she would have been happy for Nicanor had he found someone else and moved on as well. But it seemed that neither had. And she wasn't sure why. What about her was so fantastic that she had two very lovely men in her life who still wanted her even after a decade of being apart? She'd never understand that. "And... I resent that remark, Wesley. I've never treated you like a jacket. The first time we were together, I wasn't the one who needed to take a break." She scoffed and then shook her head. "If anyone should feel like that, it should be me. And honestly, after that, can you blame me for not... for not wanting to just dive right back in with you? I mean how am I supposed to trust that you won't just... do the same thing all over again?"
~~~
"Because I'm not even a shadow of that man anymore, Hope!" said Wesley exasperated that she even had to present that argument. He turned around to her, leaning against the counter with a sigh. "You should realise by looking at me now that I am not the man who needed a weekend any more. I don't want to use. I don't want to fuck everything that moves, I still have an active sex life sure but I'm not hankering after affection and attention and love... I mentioned that I might have trouble because there's always that possibility, but the probability of me going out and hurting you is so much less. I am always terrified of hurting the ones I love. I can't grow out of that. But as to actually doing it because I can't control some fucked up urge, that's - that's gone." He'd proven that when Charlie had come to him professing her love. Never had he been prouder and yet more depressed. "I don't want you to dive right back in I just wanted you to show me some respect by not immediately accepting a date from someone the moment I was honest in my natural concerns that I am and always will be a screw up, something I thought you related to once upon a time." Again he sighed, running a hand over his face.
~~~
The last thing that Hope wanted to do was fight with him, but this seemed to be turning into that rather quickly. Perhaps if she were better, even remotely, at expressing how she felt about things then she could explain the reasoning behind the choices she had made. Or maybe those choices didn't even have to matter. What was done was done, right? There was no undoing it. "I don't want to wait to start my life anymore, Wesley. I feel like that's what I've always been doing. And I don't want to do it anymore." Hope ran a hand through her hair and then sighed. "I do relate to that, but... there comes a point where you just have to swallow down that fear and simply go for it, because if you don't, you never will or, when you finally do, it will be too late. And maybe that isn't the case for me. Maybe I'm going to be the person that I am now forever, but that..." She swallowed hard. "You won't be. You can't keep up what you're doing now forever, Wesley, and all of this is just.." She struggled for what she wanted to say for a moment before concluding, "A complete waste of time."
~~~
Wesley hadn't raised his voice, just gotten frustrated, this wasn't a fight per se but it was quite - emotional? Yeah that was it. So much that Wes almost whimpered "You're not listening." He sighed, standing up and walking over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "I don't want to hurt you. I am scared of hurting you. It's the same in any of my relationships. I may be going to die with or without the potion, yeah, and my life span in limited. But the last thing I want to do in any remaining years is throw away something that means the world to me, that I waited for in the hope of having again. Those are my concerns, and you interpreted that as me not being ready, now really - do you think this is a stable unit?" He gestured at them both. "A woman who likes to burn herself and a man whose hands fire up when he's working. They either argue or have sex and love each other. That's... something to work on. It's not ready for babies and a house together, but it's... something. And I don't want to think that something I got clean for and stopped myself jumping from the bridge for isn't good enough for you just because I'm naturally a scaredy cat."
~~~
: Hope was listening, at least she was trying to listen. As far as she could tell, he wasn't listening to her. So she bristled a bit at that accustation, a bit of a frown upon her lips as he moved over to take hold of her shoulders. "And what exactly is wrong with a bit of instability, Wesley?" Hope sighed. "We argue because we're passionate people, and that's not going to change. And we have sex because we desire one another, and hopefully that won't change either. And as far as loving one another, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I just..." She closed her eyes and centered herself for a moment before she spoke again. "I know where you're coming from, Wesley. And I know that you want everything to be perfect, that you have this idea of what should be inside your head and that's what you're looking for but this, us, we're never going to be that because we're not perfect people. So you need to stop thinking about what should be and instead consider what is otherwise we're just.. always going to be stuck here and I don't want to be stuck anymore."
~~~
Wesley smiled. He didn't want to annoy her because she might think he was being patronising so he explained. "I like that we're passionate. I know there's nothing wrong with us loving each other. And there's definitely nothing wrong with the sex...." AU contraire, the sex was probably some of the best he'd had. "I'm not thinking what should be. I'm anticipating what's to come. I'm not really an idealist, I'm more of a, er... throw myself into it whatever kind of person. And before we did that, I said I was worried. But I never, ever, ever said that I didn't want to try this or that I wasn't ready to be with you. Just that I might want a dick in my ass one time which if rumours are correct you are a dab hand at giving, so.... I dunno Hope you might not want me, and choose Mr Mexico 2019, which I'll have to deal with. But I wouldn't want you do that thinking that I don't want this wholely and completely..."
~~~
"Then why are you being so..." Hope sighed and shook her head. "I dunno. I don't even know the word for it." She paused and then added, "And that was only once. Or.. maybe more than once but..." She gave him a bit of a shove as she added, "Be nice. Nicanor is a really nice person and you would know that if you weren't so... I dunno... jealous?" She smiled a little. Of course she had her own jealousy issues as well. Like Charlie, for example. She was easier to tolerate, sure, because she was married, but she had been married before too and that hadn't really mattered much back then.
~~~
"Oh please," said Wesley, raising an eyebrow. "You're accusing me of being Mr Jelousy... we both have reason to be insecure and it comes out like this. We're hopeless. And I will be nice to him when I don't hear that he's been impersonating me behind my back." Something about being Mr Wonderful so they could both play at that game. "You should be proud really. Two handsome men fighting for you. Or... at least trying to wine and dine you and not... shout at you before slamming the door in your face..."
~~~
Hope gasped a little. "He wouldn't do that." At least she didn't think that he would. Then again, maybe he was jealous as well and that was how he dealt with it. She wasn't entirely sure. Nic wasn't a completely innocent person, after all. He was sweet and good hearted but she was certain he was capable of some degree of deviousness. "And I'm not proud. It'd be.. easier if one of you were yelling at me and slamming doors in my face." She smiled and then added, "But I don't want either of you to. Especially not you." And maybe that meant something. "I mean you're.. one of my very best friends, or at least you were before..." Of course it could just mean that they both should have listened to Godric to begin with.
~~~
Listening to Godric would have been a bad idea. He wasn't one to talk, especially on the kook juice. He'd tried to get Wesley to sleep with Blake. And even then, they had been best friends before very awkwardly hooking up and through sheer grit and determination and possibly the insistance of one of the party, they were still together to this day. Wesley wanted a best friend and a lover. Hope had been both. "I still am, " he assured her, placing his hand over hers. "And you're mine. I know you won't cut me off for being stupid or judge me if I dance in my underpants. That's some love right there. But..." He glanced at the floor, considering how to say this. "IF you do choose - Nic - I'm not saying I won't wanna ever you know talk to you again but it will hurt. And I might be a little - uhm - not wanting to talk to you, for a while, while I try and get my head around it, but I will never stop loving you, because you..." Fuck he was welling up. That didn't happen. No no no bad tear ducts he was a manly man... "You were the first one to love me despite being a total fuck up, and a mess on the floor. You insisted that you loved me, that I was being stupid, but you also made me feel good even when I was dark, so I thank you for that."
~~~
Hope smiled at his assurance and then laughed. "I've never minded you dancing in your underpants." But the rest of it, she could feel how emotional it was making him and... it was so crazy how easy it was for her to sort out what other people felt but it wasn't all that easy for her to figure out how she felt. But if she were honest with herself, she already knew. Being with Nic felt easy, simple and safe and being with Wesley was.. occasionaly difficult, complicated and filled with a certain degree of uncertainty. To look at it from a completely logical standpoint, it was obvious what she should do. But emotions weren't logical. Hope knew that. And she couldn't rationalize her feelings. It didn't work that way. "I'm not going to pick Nic," she said after a moment. "I mean.. a part of me wishes that I could because, on paper, we'd be perfect together but..." Hope lifted her gaze up to meet Wesley's own. "I don't love him." She liked him. She had always liked him. But she had never loved Nicanor.
~~~
Wait what did she say? Wesley had been preparing for the worst and the yeah I'll think it over, but then she didn't say that. She said she wasn't picking Nicanor. Maybe that meant she wasn't picking Wes either, but so many thoughts whizzed through Wesley's mind because he was on overdrive on her words but at the same time he couldn't help himself. "So does that mean we can start... y'know..." He waggled his brows a little then shook his head, backtracking. "I'm kidding, I'm sorry... I'm... I have no idea what to say...." But he did know how to express what he was feeling. Placing a gentle hand against her cheek he moved forwards and pressed their lips together so that he could tell her everything without the need for words.
~~~
"Wesley!" Hope gasped at him, giving him a bit of a smack on the chest before she giggled. That was such a him thing to say. She smiled though and shook her head. "Don't apologize. You're just.. being you." She laughed a little, quieting as he placed his hand upon her cheek. Yes, she certainly knew what was coming. Hope's hands slid up and over his chest as he kissed her and she moaned ever so softly into that kiss. Yes, his message was loud and clear this way.
~~~
Never had he been more relieved in his life. Hope loved him and wanted him, apparently, as she hadn't told him otherwise so he was in bliss for this moment. Pulling back after a second because he didn't want to push, Wesley cleared his throat and glanced her arm. "Hey, it looks better already..." He smiled at Hope, then narrowed his eyes in a faux-suspicious glare. "Did you do that on purpose? Hot doctor on all, get him alone, maybe in his scrubs..."
~~~
For a moment. Hope had no idea what he was talking about. And then she remembered. Her arm. She glaced down at it, turning it around, quite pleased with the way it was looking now. It was almost back to normal. Her attention returned to Wes when he spoke, though, and she smirked a little. "Of course I did. That's why I'm not wearing any underwear." This was said with a straight face, one which she managed to hold for a moment longer before she laughed. "Just kidding, sorry. I totally have underwear on."
"I know." Hope grinned. "I was hoping those would sting just a little." She giggled and then received another kiss, a soft hum vibrating against his lips as she clutched at his hips, pressing her body into his own. "Well of course we're going to have more dates." That was a silly question. "But.. we do have a lot of lost time to make up for as well." She slid her hands up over his chest, a bit of a smirk forming upon her lips. "Too bad we both have to go back to work right now."
~~~
Another tease! What a witch. Luckily Wesley liked teasing and he could respond in kind - when a woman wasn't pressing her sexy body up against him being totally hot and devilish. Then his brain wouldn't work. "Ungh you're the boss you can demand days off," he purred, giving her his best puppy eyes. "Extra time, days in lieu, days in bed... you're gonna make me wait longer aren't you?"