Garret J. Foss (cant_touchthis) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2012-08-17 22:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | garret, rorie |
Wednesday Sept. 18th 2019
Who: Rorie and Garret
What: Meeting to talk
Where: A cafe
When: Evening
Rating: PG 13
Note: Aimscene
Rorie
*sits in the cafe, in a more private corner booth, waiting on Garret while fidgeting and bouncing his leg*
Garret
*having been sitting in his car procrastinating, finally gets out and heads into the cafe, sliding into the booth across from Rorie, clearing his throat* "So, um... hi."
Rorie
*looks up and watched Garret come in and sit across from him* "Hey. . .' *waits a beat* 'I didn't. . . I wasn't using you. I didn't do that because I just wanted to.'
Garret
*puts his hand up* "Just... stop. Don't say anything yet, just let me... let me say what I need to say."
Rorie
'Oh. . .Okay.' *braces himself for the worst*
Garret
"Look, Rorie... lately I've been feeling like a prop to everybody, just this... thing that people use to kill some time. So when you were just gone, I thought... well, it just felt like you were another person who could so easily toss me aside. And normally I wouldn't really mind because I like being unattached, but you..." *sighs, running a hand through his hair* "It was different with you. It really stung with you. And I figured out that it hurt so much because I didn't want it to be like that with you, I wanted it to be different. I wanted to matter more than that. And now I know that I do, and it got me thinking about you, and about us, and what I wanted from it all... And even though I loved being with you, and it felt like exactly what I've been missing all this time..."
*pauses, trying to put the words together* "I can't be like that anymore. I like having my freedom, and I like being unattached. I like belonging to everyone and no one, to not have to worry about who I'm hurting. But, I miss you, too. And I thought, well I know it's probably not what you want, because you're a father and you're a normal person and you never really liked not having me alone, but maybe... i-if you thought that you could..." *sighs, trailing off*
Rorie
*listens and thinks, folding and unfolding a napkin nervously and tries to think of what to say* 'That maybe if I just wanted to share you, to not just be a one time thing, but maybe if I ever get lonely enough to call?' *stares at the napkin, trying to keep his face as straight as possible*
Garret
*watches Rorie's reaction closely, his own face falling* "...No. Um, you should just, uh, forget I even... maybe this was a bad idea..."
Rorie
'do you miss my body or me?' *looks at him briefly, straining to not get very upset*
Garret
*looking up, startled, staring hard at him a moment* "Did you really just ask me that."
Rorie
*stares at, not saying anything, waiting for him to answer*
Garret
*struggles with his reaction a moment, then swallows it down, looking away* "I guess I deserve that. Okay. I missed you. Not just... sex."
Rorie
'Do you. . . Still uh, love me?' *swallows hard*
Garret
*softly* "Yeah."
Rorie
*stays quiet a moment, closing his eyes and says softly* 'I can't be casual, Garret.'
Garret
*nodding* "I know. I shouldn't have even... I'm sorry that I kissed you. I shouldn't have done that to you, put you in this situation."
Rorie
"It's hurt too much." *takes a breath and swallows hard, blinking back tears* "I-I should just go." *gets up to leave*
Garret
*grabs for his hand* "Wait! Don't... please just sit. Please?"
Rorie
*stays quiet as he takes his seat again, sucking in a breath and slowly letting it out*
Garret
*sits a moment, just looking at him, then laughs softly* "I don't know. I didn't have anything after this, I just... I didn't want you to leave."
Rorie
*snorts softly* 'Garret, what else is there to say? You want to come and go as you please and I can't just be casual. You're not going to change that no matter how much I'd want you to, because it's what you want." *goes quiet and sniffles slightly* "I thought I was over you, but apparently not. I didn't care before about the others as long as you came home to me, but you don't even want to do that. You want to run around and do what you want without attachments and I can't do that. I can't." *voice starts to crack*
Garret
*nodding slowly* "Then... then I guess that what happened between us just... happened. It was a mistake, and it won't happen again."
Rorie
*gets up abruptly and walks over before he starts crying*
*gets up abruptly and walks out before he starts crying*
Garret
*sits for a minute, pounds a fist on the table then follows him out* "Rorie, wait."
Rorie
*is walking down the street to calm down before spinning around to Garret* 'What!?'
Garret
"What did you want me to say?? It feels like stepping on minefields around you, everything I say, and do, it's all just, it's wrong. Everything is wrong." *growls softly, pinching the bridge of his nose* "I kissed you because I love you, because I couldn't stand one more minute of being next to you and not kissing you. I love you. I miss you. But I'm never going to be the kind of man that you deserve, the kind of man you need. And I'm... I'm fucking sorry about that, and if I could change it I would. But I can't. And if you could just... could you maybe just not be pissed at me just for trying to be honest?"
Rorie
"I fuckin' love you, Garret. I have not stopped even after ten years and you asking to be casual was like a slap in the face. You can't even think of doing anything else, but having another person with you that will be okay with just walking away when you get bored and want to see someone else. I kissed you back because I love you. I thought you wanted to talk things out and try again, but it just comes down to you just wanting everything." *sighs and rubs his reddening eyes* 'Fine I won't be pissed. Every time I am, it's my own fault anyways." *ignores the stares of other people*
Garret
"You know what? Fuck you, you goddamn martyr. Ten years have passed, Rorie, TEN fucking years, and what, you just want to pick up where things were? You want me to just turn around and just stop living my life how I've been doing for an entire decade and what?" *stepping closer* "You know what was a slap in the face? Seeing you sitting there in my office. Getting replaced by a baby. Being told that you love me, but you don't actually love anything about me? Why don't we turn that question back on you, you poor little victim?? Did you miss me, or did you just miss fucking me?!"
Rorie
"I ran because I was scared I would be another one of your casual friends! I didn't consciously choose to go to your office, I responded to you because that's what felt right! I never got over you, I never moved on! You were never replaced by Eileen! You know what I love about you!? That I can yell and scream and hate you so much, but still want to just touch and hold you! I love that I never had to hide who I was with you! I love that we complimented each other and that you tried. You fuckin' tried with everything I did." *stares at crying now as everyone stares* "I love you. I love everything about you, even if it hurts me. That's why I can't do it. . ."
Garret
*steeling his resolve, ignoring Rorie's tears and the tremor in his voice* "Then don't do it. Be mad at me if you want, turn around and walk away."
Rorie
*stares at a moment, sniffling as he takes a big breath, swallowing hard and turning around to slowly walk away, fighting the urge to sob*
Garret
*curling his fists by his side, watches Rorie walk away, then turns and heads back to his car, getting in and staring at the steering wheel a moment, turns on the engine and drives off*
Rorie
*gets back to his car, gets in, and drives back to the school*