Sunday Sunday 22nd March 2009
Who: Wesley & Blake Where: BGH When: Sunday morning What: Wesley asks Blake a question that's been niggling.
It was dead silent in the house. Blake was sprawled face-first on the sofa, one arm behind him and the other on the floor. He looked, for all intents and purposes, absolutely shattered. A very bright healer was already roaming the house, having been up for hours with his sneaking boots on. After creeping past the sleeping demon all day Wesley couldn’t handle it any more. He went over and settled next to him, inching those long legs up the cushions so that he had some space, before the healer smiled at the sleeping beauty and clapped his hands loudly.
Having been given the fright of his life Blake jolted awake, inhaling some of the fluff from the cushion as he snorted back to consciousness. On hearing the healer’s chortles the demon gazed blearily over to him, hair flopping into his eyes. “Who died?”
Wesley laughed. “Nobody died, stupid... what the fuck were you dreaming?”
As he dragged his heavy limbs to sit upright Blake rubbed at his eyes, leaning against Wes for support. “Trenches... they were full of toys...”
“That’s not a good dream...”
“Makes a change from bodies.” As Blake blinked Wesley noticed that his eyes were – well he had no eyes. They were pure white. He knew Blake had drops but this startled him and he stared in fascination as the demon tried to wake up. Blake of course remained oblivious in his morning daze. “What time is it?”
“Just after ten.”
“Where’s Godric?”
“No idea.”
“...where are the kids?”
“I took the young ones to a play group thing and I think the others are out with Rocky or something.... You needed a day off.”
The demon stared at Wesley with a shocked expression – or at least Wesley thought it was a shocked expression because he couldn’t really tell. The eyebrows kinda gave it away though. “Don’t look at me like that. You may be an energy demon but you’re out of reserves right now.”
Blake exhaled a sigh of relief and rubbed at his forehead, leaning back against the sofa. “Oh... don’t judge me but thank God and thank you, Wesley... I don’t know if I could have handled another day of ‘Blake play Frisbee, Blake watch me do this, Blake where’s my crayons, Blake I want some milk, Blake Blake Blake...”
“Godric’s a bit needy, huh?”
That made Blake laugh and he nudged Wesley slightly in mild punishment for his mocking, then sighed. “I wish. No, he’s been great. With all the strains he’s been under lately, it’s... well I don’t blame him for locking himself away most of the time. He takes on more than he can chew and then chokes sometimes.... he doesn’t leave himself room to breathe. Or... whatever it is vampires do which means the same.”
Wesley was curling up beside Blake on the sofa, listening to him contently. He may look like a kid interested in a story but he was taking everything in. He didn’t like his two favourite men to be upset for any reason and Blake looked sort of upset. “You think he regrets taking you back, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question more of a statement which left Blake a little stunned. He then recovered with a laugh.
“I’m not – no. I don’t think he does. I just think he’s overwhelmed because things were getting back to normal and now they’ve changed again.... you and Hope, for instance. The children. Will moved out. I’ve become... some... mother hen wearing aprons and juggling infants at the same time as teaching and cooking... it’s hard on everyone.”
“Well you know...” Wesley started, moving his legs so that they were draped over Blake’s lap. “If he was finding it hard he should speak to you. But he doesn’t speak to you. He’s like some... jack in the box that gets wound up and wound up and eventually explodes so he does something stupid. Then he settles, and then he regrets it, but he won’t admit it, so he just hides inside himself and broods, convincing himself he doesn’t need anybody when he’d just be really miserable without them...”
Blake blinked at Wesley, a little startled then chuckled. "You are scary sometimes."
"I'm right though." Wesley smiled at Blake, then went quiet as they were both lost in a thoughtful silence. Eventually Wesley shifted. "Can I talk to you?
Peeking at him from beneath the hand that was rubbing his eyes Blake smiled a little. "... you are talking to me...."
“ You know what I mean.”
With a sigh Blake settled down “Well it seems I have a few minutes. Fire away.”
Great. Now he was able to chat. And he had no idea how to begin. After a few moments Wesley sighed. “ I’ve been thinking... a lot lately... and I wanna know if you have any like... potions or shit that can prolong... the inevitable so to speak.
It took him a few minutes but eventually Blake spoke. “Death, you mean.”
“Yes.”
“You are not going to die soon, Wesley...” sighed Blake.
“I don’t... mean like to prevent it from happening next week, but I wanna have another twenty years or so. I know I’ve got a few... left, but I’ve done me some damage man. I’d need a healer to sort this mess out and even then I’m not sure what they’d be able to do....”
“ You have plenty of years left! So be quiet.”
“I don’t wanna leave my daughter!” Wesley seemed very adamant about that, so much so that it made the demon quiet. “I feel in myself, and I’m a fucking healer, that I have ten or so years. And in ten or so years, I don’t wanna leave my grandkid... I’m not made for a fifty-year old death, Blake, and that is what I have. I want to make plans for a future, I want it to be a long and happy one...”
“Jesus, what’s got into you?”
“ I’m...” The healer groaned, then. “I’m scared of leaving this life when I just get into it.”
This was a time for wine if ever there was one. He hadn’t expected to be woken up and then be dragged into deep conversation but he was trying to make sense of it. “Have you heard the phrase ‘Quality not quantity’?”he asked softly, but Wesley scooted forwards.
“Yeah, I have. And I’d like to have the time in order to try and bump up that quality.”
“You have beautiful Mandy, a devoted brother in Ric, Hope adores you, many admirers - I’d say you had a pretty good life.”
“Good, yes, but I’ll just be over the shit when I end up like John Cleese’s parrot.”
Blake shook his head. “You are just... too paranoid for words.”
An in. “Does that mean you’re gonna help me?”
The demon raised a finger. “I didn’t say that.”
“ But you are – right?”
Well the demon couldn’t just leave him without information. “Have you really considered this? The side effects? Potions that prolong life aren’t guaranteed, which I assume you’re going for instead of vampirism. You will stay the same as you are now, but the best to hope for is maybe thirty to fifty years... there may not be any warning and if you miss your top up, it’s... it can be devastating, not to you but to others around you...”
“I won’t miss my top up and I’ll get fit.” There was a desperation in his tone. “I’ll... I’ll improve my health and I’ll keep myself fit y’know? I just can’t – I feel like my life is already over because it’s just beginning and I’m forty years old. I ‘aint a vampire or demon or spritely ass kid, I’m an ex addict with limited time... I know what I’m doing Blake.”
“I am sure you believe that but you need to talk about this with someone.”
“I’m talking about it with you.”
“But that... this doesn’t count!”
“ You know potions you can talk me through it.”
“ Wesley...”
“Don’t mention it to Ric.”
“Wesley!”
“I’m doing this! If you don’t like it I’ll fucking go somewhere else or get a vampire to turn me, I know a few it shouldn’t be a problem...”
The demon had to throw his hands in the air. “You are ridiculous...”
“Does that mean you’ll help me?”
He was caught, then. He couldn’t deny Wesley, not with those eyes. He’d been learning from Hope. “I will consider it!”
Maybe the clap and the wiggle was a little bit too much like a kid just been offered candy but still Wesley had to do it, much to Blake’s dismay. Standing from the sofa the demon sighed. “You read everything I give you, you understand? Everything. Every word of every book. If I test you and you don’t know the answer, I will not do this for you.”
“Yes Blake... Honest to God, Blake... don’t tell Ric...”
“I’m not going to.” That was simple enough. “He has enough on his plate. And until you pass my test there’s nothing to tell.”
Wesley tilted his head. “Do we get to be naked during the test?” A look was his answer. “I had to ask!”
“I am going to get some toast... OH shit.” He had just spotted himself in the mirror and he looked awful, no eyes! Hair! Stubble! “And shave... I’m presuming you want some food.”
“Two rounds with peanut butter an’ jam with coffee please.”
Of course. As Blake walked into the kitchen with a stretch and a yawn Wesley sighed. This would be good. He could get a background on what he hoped to do and maybe finally have some peace that he could make amends. His panic had eased somewhat, and that’s all he could hope for.