Saturday March 21, 2009
Who: Finn and Riley What: Finn needs someone to tell him it's okay Where: Riley's house When: 3 a.m.
Riley had gotten up to grab himself a midnight snack; well make that 3 am snack and as he passed through foyer he could have sworn he heard someone talking outside. He turned on his heel and walked to the front door, not thinking about the fact he was just in his underwear.
Riley peeked out the window and was surprised to see Finn, a bloody Finn to be exact. He cracked open his door and spoke. “Finn, are you okay?” He asked as he opened the door wider. “Come in it’s cold out.”
To say that Finn looked like he went off the deep end again would be a moment in history for the man. At least this second time around, he was coherent. Looking up when a light went on and the door opened, he looked up like a small deer caught in headlights. "Riley," he said softly. Garret and him and tussled, hence the bruises and cuts and blood. Everything was settled though. They were in the clear, hopefully.
He stared at the other, finally letting it hit him. "I didn't know where else to go," he said softly as he came in and looked at Riley.
Riley took it all in, the way Finn looked, the lost look in his eyes and he just ushered him in shutting the door behind him. “Hey its okay, I’m glad you came here.” He said softly as he gently took the man’s hand. “Let’s clean you up a bit okay?” He said softly and led him down the hallway to the downstairs bathroom.
He turned on the lights and started gathering towels, bandages, pajama pants for Finn and last but not least he remembered to put a robe on himself so he didn’t look a stripper in his tight underwear.
Going quiet, Finn followed Riley without protest. "Kay," he said as he sat down on the toilet, making sure the lid was closed. His leather jacket was ripped, stupid Garret, and he had bruises on his face and back and sides from where the other man had just laid into him without holding back. He had a busted lip and a slightly bloody nose to boot. This sucked.
"I did it," he said softly, looking up. "I killed Liam. He's out of the picture and gone for good now," Finn explained.
Riley wet a cloth and started wiping away the dirt and the blood and then started to remove Finn's leather jacket, because honestly it smelled not nice. He continued to clean him, thinking the way Finn was kind of non responsive was a bad thing. Like he had had a bad shock.
Then he announced it, he had killed Liam. Riley's eyes went wide and he put the cloth down, crouching in front of him. "You did...you actually did?" He asked excitedly. Riley hadn't been in the brother's lives for long but he knew about their father and him being dead was the best news he heard all day.
"It wasn't as easy as it sounds," Finn said with a snort before swallowing. "He killed Garret first," he admitted. Though it was going to be hard to explain it. They'd come home and Rorie was there and it was a big mess because his top boss had called him to tell him what had happened. They fought, they did what they planned, now it was as over as it was going to be.
"I watched him shoot Garret in the head before just tossing the gun aside like it was nothing and I took it. I cocked it and he dared me to shoot him. I did. In the back of the head. It was easy and he made it easy because now, Rorie's out. I'm out. We don't have to worry about him anymore."
"It never is." He said softly, and then picked up the cloth rinsed it and started to clean his face again as he spoke. Riley was shocked by what went on and then blinked when he said Garret was shot in the head. "Garret's dead?" He asked with wide eyes as he rinsed the cloth again to carefully clean up Finn's nose and then his mouth.
A smile spread across Riley's face when Finn said he and Rorie were out. He leaned in and hugged him carefully, in case he was hurting and then leaned back slightly. "You two are free Finn." He said happily as he reached for some disinfectant and put it on a cotton ball to wipe at his cuts. Riley liked taking care of people, he was good at it and he appreciated that Finn let him take care of him.
"That's the thing," Finn said getting a weird look on his face. "He's not dead. . . He came back to life. . . Some how." It was still a good question of what was happening to the older man, but the fact that he was still alive and okay was still nagging at him in a tiny bit. "He and Rorie have kinda split, but they're okay physically," he said with a sigh before hissing when the cotton ball touched his skin.
The hug he was thankful for. It made him feel a bit more grounded and appreciated almost. When he'd told Garret, the man tackled him down and started to beat the hell out of him. "As free as we're going to get. It took a lot of fuckin' work to get Rorie out of line for next up, but it worked," he sighed, hissing again. "Ow," he grunted.
Riley was a bit surprised at that statement and he looked into Finn's eyes. "He's...not dead...but he was shot in the head." He said a disbelieving tone. Riley then just continued on with what he was doing. He winced when Finn hissed and then took little butterfly bandages to close the cut in Finn's lip and one on his cheekbone.
"I'm glad they are both okay, and Rorie is not stuck in that mess." He winced when Finn hissed again. "Sorry." He said softly.
"Yeah, I know. He's alive though. He proved it by beating the shit out of me," he snorted again. "I told him I killed Liam and he went ape shit because. . . Well it meant Rorie was the one taking over and since he didn't have any connections to make him safe, he would be killed. So we had to find something else, again. We had a meeting with the bosses and now everything's hunky dory. Kinda. Rorie's at random hotel, Garret's at home, and I'm at a shrink's house confessing to Murder 1," he sighed, looking up.
"It's fine," Finn said as he was patched up. His jacket's sleeve was ripped, his shirt dirty, so he stood and took it off, revealing more bruises from the wonderful Garret. "Ow," he groaned as he stood there in his work boots and jeans.
Riley frowned when he said Garrett beat him up and then he understood why as Finn continued to explain. "I don't agree with him beating you but I understand his fear." There were certain people he would want to protect like that. He smiled at Finn and then stroked his cheek. "Trust me I won't be telling anyone, I will say patient/doctor confidentiality if I'm ever pushed on it." He said softly.
Riley watched as Finn took off his filthy shirt and then winced as the bruises. "Okay here's my question, do you want to shower, which I would recommend because it smells like you were fighting in a dump or I can clean you up a bit more, rub some cream into those bruises, wash your clothes, and then take you to bed...um show you the guest bedroom."
"I was fighting in a dump," Finn chuckled. "So you're not off the mark there." He was relaxing more, but still tense a bit. Adrenaline was pumping through his system and it was wearing off slowly. "Shower would be great," he said as he kicked his boots off, not caring that Riley was still in the room as he took off his jeans, showing off more bruises.
"If. . . If you don't mind me staying. I'd go to Ash, but. . . This is not a conversation for right now. I'm exhausted and I don't wanna fight her," he said, feeling his body ache. Not just from that night, but from his own beat down from when he was wanted dead. Back, hips, hands, face. Wonderful.
Riley scrunched his nose and then laughed slightly. "that is so...gross." He bit his lip and just watched as Finn removed his clothes. "fuck you are covered." He mumbled and then stood up and set the thick fluffy towels on the counter next to the sleep pants. "So here are your towels and some clean pants." He said with a smile.
"Oh no I don't mind you staying at all, after you get out of the shower I can take you to the guest room and I will get some cream on you, you look really sore." Riley said softly as he gathered the filthy clothes. "I will get them as clean as I can. You can borrow some of mine if they are still gross tomorrow." He said as he held them away from his body.
"Kay, sounds good," he said before groaning. The cold was not his friend. Everything ached now that he was keeping still. Reaching into the tub, he turned on the water and turned it up as hot as he could stand it. Standing back up, something cracked. It was some joint and it was painful.
"Okay, sit down time," Finn groaned as he sat down before his right knee buckled. "Fucking. . . fuck," he huffed. It happened with the cold anymore. It'd happened at work a few times, but he was too stubborn to go to a healer for it. The way he saw it, they'd healed him once and it only went so far, so how long would it last the second time around.
Riley was going to leave the room and then when he heard something crack he spun around and dropped the clothes and walked over to the shower in time to see Finn sitting down. "Are you okay?" He asked as he stood next to the tub, his next thought was Finn is naked...nice.
Riley bit his lip and leaned in a bit. "anything I can do for you?" He asked softly as he rubbed a hand over his shoulder, not knowing what hurt so not knowing what he shouldn't touch.
"My knee," Finn groaned. "It goes out every now and then if I over work it in the cold," he said. He was used to being naked in front of strangers and it didn't bother him so much. "Just gotta give me a second," he said, taking a slow, deep breath. Fuck that hurt. "Okay gonna try this again," he said as he went to stand, not minding the touch as he went to lift himself again and stood slightly swaying.
"I hate you, Garret," he growled, making a mental note to punch the other in the throat after this was over.
Riley winced when Finn told him what was wrong and then motioned to the thick scar on his left thigh. "Sometimes I have the same problem with my leg." He helped Finn to stand when he needed to and was reluctant to leave once he was. "I'm staying for your shower, I'm worried your knee will go out." He said firmly as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned on the vanity. And if Riley was stealing a few glances while Finn washed himself who was going to know. "Is all this damage from Garret?" He asked quietly.
"Brother in Arms with beat downs," Finn snorted as he nodded. "Kay, that's fine," he said as he pulled back the curtain and stepped in, groaning with appreciation at the hot water on his body. Putting soap on a washcloth, he started to scrub himself clean. Getting that dump stink off his body. "The bruises and cuts are, everything else was from when I got jumped and dragged to no where. Mobsters that were ordered to kill me. Beat me nearly to death if Rez and Garret hadn't showed up," he explained as he felt his muscles and joints start to loosen up.
"Been having trouble with my old man joints since then," he chuckled as he finished cleaning up. Washing off, he stepped out and grabbed a towel. Drying off, he wrapped the towel around his waist, he sighed as he looked at Riley. "I should talk to Rorie later today. . . Is it bad that. . . That I don't wanna see him for a while?" He asked, feeling guilty for feeling that way.
Riley smirked at the guy and then kept a watchful eye on him as he showered. "Jesus fuck Finn..." He mumbled, wincing at the mention of Rez and then frowning at himself for even reacting to him. Riley needed to let it go, he wanted to...so why was he holding on? He rubbed a hand over his face and then nodded. "Well good thing they did then." He said as he used a touch of his telekinesis to hold Finn up so he didn't fall while he showered.
"You old man joints? How old are you?" He asked as he chuckled to himself. He moved a bit when finn got back out and didn't look at him fully again until he had the towel wrapped around himself. "No it's not bad it's not really surprising at the moment. Don't feel bad for how you feel Finn, they are your emotions, don't feel guilty for them." He cleared his throat and grabbed a couple of containers. "Bedroom is up this way." He said as he started out. "You can put those pants on up there."
"I'm 28. I turn 29 this April," Finn said. "It's just. . . I'm his big brother. I'm supposed to protect him from having to make these decisions. . . Liam threatened his friends and his child and his husbands if he didn't join up, so he did. Then he hid it from Garret and Mal and me and. . . He ended up killing some guy because he was ordered to. Rorie couldn't deal with the guilt of hiding it and he didn't wanna do the job anymore, so he told Garret. Garret kicked him out and then we went to find Liam. Then. . . that's how everything ended up like this. . . I told Rorie to go back to where he'd been staying. I'm his brother," Finn said looking at Riley, the roller coaster starting again.
"I told him to leave and. . . After I had to kill our father because he was cornered and scared and should have never. . . Never had to do what he thought he had to do," Finn said, biting his lip as he looked at the floor. "It's my fault," he whispered. "What would you have done? Someone says you either work for him, doing these horrible things or he starts killing your kid and her mother and your loved ones? Would you have taken that chance in telling someone and trying to keep them safe without knowing if it would work or would you do what they wanted? Kill people so that yours were safe?"
Riley listened to Finn as he talked, what their father did was unforgivable, how he could even consider killing children...well he was the head of the mob that's how. "Rorie's had a hard time." He said softly as he took Finn's hand and started rubbing his palm to help calm him.
"Being someone's big brother doesn't mean you can protect them everything in the world, especially from things they don't tell you about." He murmured and then bit his lip when Finn asked him what he would do. "I...my honest answer is I would do anything to protect my child and the people I love but I don't know if I could have kept the situation to myself. I could kill someone to protect my own I suppose...but there's a difference between saying that and having the gun in your hand." He said softly and he picked up Finn's other hand and started to rub the palm of that hand.
"I thought I was fine with him hiding it, because that's what I would have done, but. . . He's my baby brother. I can't not be okay with this," he said, eyes watering. "I killed our father so that we'd be safe. I can't look at him anymore without thinking of what I've done for him. I want to be okay with him, but he lied and he hid things and I know why Garret's mad. I don't wanna be mad, but. . . He killed someone. I know I can't talk, but I don't know the guy he did in. It could have been some guy that had a wife and family waiting for him that will never know what happened," he said taking a breath. "Then. . . It comes up that if I feel this awful about it, what's he feel like? I can't be around him right now, but that leaves him alone and thinking that we hate him because that's what I did to him," he said near sobbing.
"I made him what he is. It will always be my fault for the pain that he gets and I know that. I should have been the one that Liam called, not him. I can handle killing, but Rorie can't. He's not that person. He's a kid that's good and right and makes everyone feel like they can do anything and loved and he's so good with Mandy and Garret and Mal and now. . . I don't know him anymore because of where I've pushed him," he said as tears ran down his face, his eyes red and puffing from crying now.
Riley could feel the emotions in Finn rising, he was going to break he could feel it, he slid his hands up his arms and squeezed his shoulders. Riley didn't stop Finn he let him go, he let him say it all, whether he agreed with it or not. The man needed to release it, or it would eat him alive inside.
"Finn." He said softly as he wrapped his arms around the man and held him gently because of his wounds. "Listen to me, I understand why you're upset, I know where you're coming from here but every decision that kid makes is not because of you, you can not blame yourself for all of this. Liam didn't call you, he called Rorie because he had more leverage on him." He stroked the man's back, fingers sliding along his spine. "Rorie is a good person, and what's happened is going to hurt him but you don't hate him and he knows that. You will go to him when you're ready and there's nothing wrong with that okay?" He hushed the other man and stroked his damp hair as he tried to help calm the tears.
"He's alone right now," Finn sobbed. "He was always terrified of being alone and now he is. I shoulda made him stay with Mandy or at Mal's or someone's. If I'm feeling like this, how is he feeling?" He said as he clung to Riley. "He just wanted to keep us safe and wanted to be the one that everyone could count on and-and-" He couldn't get it out as he just gave up and cried hard. Everything that had happened was boiling over and it needed to. If he didn't get it out, he'd go back to being crazy Finn, hurting himself and his loved ones.
It was a good five minutes before he finally was able to breath without sobbing. Breathing heavily, he held onto Riley, ignoring his sore body as he took Riley's calmness and used it on himself. Burying his face in his neck, he just stayed there. Finn tried to be the one that everyone could lean on, but who could he do that with? Right then, Riley was the one he could count on.
Riley understood how upset Finn was, but he couldn't change the facts and nothing he could really say would help. So he just held him and whispered comforting words into his ear as he rubbed Finn's back and rocked him. "I'm here for you Finn, you can let it all out, it's okay." He murmured into the other man's damp hair.
When Finn started to calm down Riley took another clean cloth and wet it, wiping at the other man's face. Yes he could do it himself but Finn was exhausted and Riley didn't want him to rip off the bandages. "You need to rest, you are going to collapse Finn, come on I am getting you into bed." Riley said softly as he wrapped his arm around the man and pulled on him so he would go down the hall.
He wasn't going to argue with him. He was right. Finn felt like he'd fall over any moment. Nodding, he let him clean his face and start leading him down the hall even if he was just in his towel still. Finn didn't really care at that moment. All he wanted was some rest. "Wait, wait," he said, fighting for a moment as he sat on the bed. "My phone," he mumbled as he went back for it, quickly grabbing it up and shooting Mal a text to go stay with Rorie. The older brother was so damn worried about his little brother. Because he was alone, because he wanted him safe, because so many things. Getting a reply, he sighed in relief, finally feeling all those knotted muscles unkink all at once.
Sitting down on the bed and laying back, he wasn't going to move for a while. "Damn it," he groaned, remembering the pants while he had his towel still on. "Pants," he sighed as he slowly sat up and got them on as quickly as possible. That was as far as he was going before looking up at Riley for a moment. "Stay with me?" He asked. It wasn't sexy or sultry. It was a scared little boy who didn't have his mommy or daddy to protect him from the monsters in the closet.
Riley was glad Finn was going to lay down and he smiled at him when he went for his phone, he had a feeling he would do that so he waited and pulled the sheets down as the other man came back into the room.
Riley handed him the pants when he remembered and then looked at him once he had them on. "Of course I will." he said as he pulled the towel away and threw it in a laundry hamper and then walked back to the bed, slipping out of his robe and laying down, wiggling himself under the covers and leaning over Finn to turn off the lights. Riley wrapped his arms tightly around Finn and hugged him. "Sleep Finn, you need it." He whispered in his ear as he shut his eyes.
Tucked into bed, he snuggled down, letting the soft comforter and mattress start to lull him into a sleep of sorts. Feeling Riley next to him though, it made it better. Pulling the covers up like he usually did, all the way over the bottom half of his face up to his nose, he relaxed in Riley's tight hold. It made him feel safe and stable and. . . Questionable. Something he didn't wanna get into since he was about to pass the fuck out. Later, when he was awake and rested and fed. Then it would be time to explore. Right then though, it just felt nice.