Chastised, Fisher looked down at his hands. "I know you're not stupid," he said softly. Rez wasn't stupid. He was smart and brilliant and incredible, and Fisher loved all those things about him. But he hated that he put himself in these positions, that he let himself be someone's second best. It wasn't right. But it also wasn't up to Fisher to decide what was right. He couldn't force Rez to do what was good for him, just like nobody could force Fisher to either.
Nodding, drawing in a deep breath, Fisher knew that this was as good as it was going to get. Maybe neither of them were happy, but they didn't hate one another either. "Fair enough," he said softly. Feelings weren't like water faucets. Nothing was ever so simple. "I'm sorry," he said again, leaning over and resting his head on Rez's shoulder. "For lots of things. But right now, I'm sorry for trying to make you not feel something. I know you can't just forget something like that." He knew probably better than anybody. With a small sigh, he turned his face up toward Rez. "I gotta leave knowing you don't like it. And you gotta not like knowing that I gotta leave. Guess we all have our crosses to bear." Looking over his face, Fisher reached up to touch his cheek, gently. "Just don't cry anymore, ok? I can't handle it. You're too fucking beautiful when you cry." He smiled, showing he was joking. Sort of.