Fisher thought he knew Rez. But he also knew that there was a limit to how much a person could take, and he knew that Rez had reached it. So why would Rez come downstairs just for him? It always seemed so easy for people to walk away from Fisher. So when someone couldn't, he just didn't get it. And Rez was an eternal mystery to him.
The question, though, he knew was coming. With a deep sigh, he shrugged. "Because I can't." It was time to be honest, completely honest, no sparing of feelings. Not like he could hurt Rez more than he already had. "Because I need to get away from everything here. Because... because you remind me of who I don't want to be. This stupid, selfish, needy person that just hurts people. And I just can't..." He closed his eyes a moment, steeling himself. "Do you know what it's like to have to break someone's heart every time you look at them? I look at you, in your eyes, and I just see such love, and understanding... and I can't give it back. Your eyes are so blue and so hopeful, and it's like I have to punch you in the heart every goddamn day, and I can't... stand it anymore. I love you, Rez, but it's not the same, but that doesn't mean I want to keep hurting you. And I am hurting you."
Stepping closer again, slowly closing the gap between them, Fisher managed to keep his eyes on Rez's face, even though he wanted to hide his gaze. "I wish you didn't love me," he whispered. "I know you're a big boy and you can handle it, and all that, but... I can't. I gotta get out of here. This place is killing me, guilt is killing me. I can't look at you and not feel like I wanna fucking..." Blinking a few times, a few tears welling up, Fisher exhaled a quick breath. "Doesn't matter. I can't stay, and I know you don't understand that. And I'm sorry."