|Jekyll (cherryvanity) wrote in thrillshow,|
@ 2008-10-23 00:00:00
|Current music:||Something for Kate - Three Dimensions|
|Entry tags:||claim, hyde|
Mun's AIM: Minute ThirtyOne
Muse's Name: hyde
Muse's Band(s): L'Arc~en~Ciel & VAMPS
Muse's AIM: vocal no hyde
Muse's/Mun's MSN (optional): onegreysunrise (at) hotmail (dot) com
VAMPS LIVE 2008: 46 shows in 6 venues spanning three months. With the shows in Osaka finished, only Tokyo remained. For hyde, Osaka had been home, in the nostalgic sense--hometown, familiar, full of memories and landmarks, not the least of which being his parents' home. But Tokyo, too, was home, or at least home away from home. His apartment in Shibuya lacked the coziness of his family home in Saitama. But more notably, it lacked his increasingly estranged wife and son. It was effectively a bachelor pad, a base for a life of work, performance, socialization, and privacy with no frequent reminder of a child who didn't know him nearly well enough, and a woman who knew him all to well. Except, of course, that nagging sense of guilt.
Time was short, mostly because much of it was wasted. Too many men in too small a space for too much time had resulted, unsurprisingly, in too many beers and too little productivity. It was getting a bit old. And so was hyde, he had to admit--at the end of back-to-back shows, the spring went right out of his step. A night of quiet peace and more than five hours of sleep in his own bed sounded more than fantastic when the opportunity was so easy to take.
The click of the automatic lock behind him was a familiar comfort, and he sighed before he even knew he was relieved. The black and white furniture hadn't changed any, except to gather some dust. The glass over the paintings on the wall--his eyes were drawn first to the water scape Hakuei had given him--reflected a slight glint of the afternoon sun peaking through half-shut blinds. The silk plants had stood against long neglect valiantly. Everything in its place. Everything unchanging. Peace.
He'd gone crazy in this place, and come back around again there, too. The walls had seen these actions hundreds of times before--hanging his keys, setting aside his shoes, draping his jacket over a chair, making straight for the sink to fill a slightly dusty glass with cold water. The paint was still white. He still didn't like it.
But the bedroom was red. A slightly stained ceramic coaster rested on the deep brown nightstand, ready as always to protect the wood from a sweating glass. The light clink of one breakable object on another could have echoed in the silence if the small room were not cluttered enough to dampen the acoustics. He'd made love here, and renounced love here. A print of Pandora hung beside the bed, and he reached out to touch it, only to withdraw his hand and put it in his pocket instead.
The memory now is like the picture was then
When the paper's crumpled up it can't be perfect again
hyde sighed again, heavy this time, and let his eyes trace down the nude figure of the mythological woman and over the green and earthen tones of her surroundings. It was beautiful--too beautiful to hide away, even when every glance at it had reminded him of the man who had given it to him, even when that memory had been most painful. In all that time, the apartment hadn't changed. The vocalist had done all the changing for it, and once again viewed it with altered eyes.
He shook his head and smiled, turning away and heading for the bathroom to wash off the lingering aura of crowded bar, booze, and Ryo and Chirolyn's inability to behave themselves--not that he'd been any better. Things were different. The battery-driven antique-style clock on the wall was ticking. He'd opened Pandora's box, indeed, and he was no longer saddened for it. He could live without what no longer was, and with what was instead. The pause for nostalgia passed.
It was unusual for hyde to sing in the shower. He did enough of it elsewhere. But some songs, he never had any other opportunity. Opportunities were few and far between to bring up a song written to suit a composition by Hiro.
"I can look up to the sky from dark
[[Lyrics: 1. Linkin Park - Forgotten 2. L'Arc~en~Ciel - Nostalgia]]