Who: Brandon Ferris & Tad Parker What: Revealing secrets Where: A McDonald's in Portland, Oregon When: Tuesday afternoon Warnings: References to violence, war experiences, and death at the least. Swearing for now.
Tad didn’t necessarily think that multi-million franchises were evil. That would have been too paranoid, even for him. However, thinking that they were being used for evil was another matter. He’d had no issues with McDonald’s or Burger King, or even Taco Bell before Jake came along - at least, not beyond some bad indigestion. Nothing really worth crusading for, even on Tad’s terms. But Jake had seen big things, commercial items used as a front before - McDonald’s in particular. Twitching every time he passed the golden arches wasn’t good for either of them.
‘Someone’s going to ask about it at one point. What do you want me to say? I lost a grandmother to some overdone fries?’ The only humor that ever got through to Jake was dry and Tad couldn’t blame him. The guy’d been through more then any should have. Most days, even Tad could barely bring himself to laugh at his best friend’s jokes. And even then, it was only because he strangely reminded him of Marco. Try a brother. A cousin. We wouldn’t have to lie.
However true, it didn’t change the problem. There was a McDonald’s just a few blocks away from Reed, which once upon a time was hit during late night hours for shakes and apple pies. They kept you awake for studying if little else. He’d begged off this year, minus a few stray meetings but...Tad nearly cringed as he passed. God, no.
“Detour before home. We’re going to prove that it’s not infested,” he muttered. Jake didn’t protest, even if there was a warning. The guy never tried to sway Tad’s opinion unless Tad begged him for some input. Not manly but too many issues otherwise. Still, he couldn’t help the tinge of politeness - Jake could have the warning. He deserved that much.
He slipped inside, forcing his expression into something semi-pleasant. The smell of grease and sour milk filled the air. Nothing too unusual. He got in the line, barely paying attention to the chatter about latest movie out and the “oh so hot” actor in it. Didn’t people have better things to deal with? He scanned the menu, before looking about the restaurant. Wary, waiting for a sign or suspicious behavior. Too much of an inherited habit, but he was thankful for it more often then not. Brandon was the loner. He knew that fact, had long since accepted his place in life whenever he was in crowds of people. It was second nature to him to keep his head down and keep out of the way, a survival instinct that had started off as a way to avoid the casual beating from his father but had evolved into ridiculousness as soon as he got Tobias--because that was the way his counterpart had dealt with things as well. It was as though fate had realized their similarities and thrown them together in a way that had made both boys extremely uncomfortable. To Tobias, he was put in a position that was far too close to home; to Brandon, Tobias’s existence alone made him feel all kinds of crazy. The two of them combined meant that Brandon spent the majority of his time by himself despite having two roommates, and that included going to McDonald’s to grab a bite to eat.
It was still hard to get used to the conscious voice in the back of his mind, especially since Tobias preferred to pipe in randomly. He wasn’t much of a talker, that one, so at times Brandon could almost forget he was there. Except when Brandon approached areas that were far too familiar for the bird-boy’s comfort, and even something as innocent as McDonald’s fell into that category. He paused with his hand on the door handle and his jaw rigid as Tobias’s memories flashed quickly through his own mind: a Yeerk pool, terror, battles, and Tobias getting stuck as a hawk, forced to live as the animal in the forest instead of as a human being while his aunt and uncle ignored the fact that he was missing. It was jolting, enough so that a couple of boys behind him made impatient noises when he didn’t immediately step into the business. Their impatience quickly turned into anger, and a second later Brandon was shoved roughly against the glass of the non-operating door so that they could stalk inside.
Most boys his age would have reacted in some way. Hell, he should’ve decked the lot of them before they got out of his reach, but he didn’t. The nagging voice in the back of his head always said the same thing: stay inconspicuous. Brandon shook his head and straightened out his clothes to buy himself some time before he stepped inside the establishment. Taking the high road or not, he was embarrassed and avoiding looking at the brutes at all costs, which was how his eyes ended up locked on the poster.
“This isn’t happening,” Brandon muttered in a panic to himself, his legs closing the distance between himself and the bulletin board much quicker than he thought himself capable. The Sharing? Tobias chirped, his own voice sounding as fearful as Brandon’s. Take it down! The fear was as clear as day on his face as he reached out and ripped the flier down, but he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away instantly. Instead, he was reading it, blue eyes scanning over the colorful print and inviting tag lines. It was just like Tobias remembered it, but that couldn’t be. That would mean... “Shit. Shit...We gotta...” Brandon, stay calm. Don’t draw attention. If there are controllers here, they’ll notice you panicking. Just walk away with the flier, tear it up, and dump it in the trash. Tad had just looked past the doors, over at a small family - couple, thirties, two kids, seven and four, blonde female - when he heard the slam. His gaze jerked back immediately, even if he noticed no-one else’s had. People generally didn’t care when a war or fight broke out about them. It was easier to just ignore it, wasn’t it? He’d seen that growing up - his own memories even, not just Jake’s dark ones. When a kid was bullied, most people just walked on by and tried not to get involved. Tad had never been the type.
As it was, recognizing the guy slammed into the glass didn’t help matters. The pretense of ordering a burger and a soda was gone and he was out of the line. The guffawing idiots were already in, nudging each other and ignorant of what they’d done. Assholes. Tad didn’t even try to hide the sneer which grew as he passed them. Brandon, of course was another story. The guy always had been quiet, in that way that had always seemed to remind him of Tobias - before Tobias had been stuck in hawk morph, before Tobias had lost Rachel, before the end... Maybe it was him seeing into things too much. Sometimes, Tad swore he saw bits of Tom in Logan too.
“Hey, buddy, you okay?” Bit of a stretch in terming, even if he and Brandon were roommates, but Tad called everyone that. Or at least used to. He put a hand on his shoulder, before his gaze followed his to the bulletin board.
He wished his reaction was disbelief or even disgust to see the brightly printed flier on the board. It barely flickered, before that feeling of pure intent settled in. Jake had been right. It was going to build up again. They were here. The whole cycle was restarted. His jaw clenched and without realizing it, his grip on Brandon’s shoulder too. The flier vanishing into his hand sparked fear and he spoke up, voice forced casual. He didn’t care how it looked to Brandon - he wasn’t going to let the guy get infested. And if that was here, what was the likelihood there were controllers about. “You know, I’ve heard some weird things about that place. I wouldn’t join up if I were you.” He needed that flier and he needed it now. When had he gotten so jumpy? As long as he could remember, Brandon had been the calm one in his family, often suggesting to Ty that they take a ride and get some ice cream when his older brother got a little too heated. He knew it was the flier’s fault; it had to be. He was so fixated on it, on what it meant to both him and Tobias--and he had no powers. None. He couldn’t morph. The most he had was the knowledge of the infestation, but nothing he could use to combat it. It was what was essentially making him panic, and added onto it was Tobias’s own reactions, his memories of how it had gone down last time. How they had lost Rachel. How...
Tad startled him, forcing Brandon to physically jump at being addressed. He hadn’t realized anybody had walked over towards him, let alone gotten that close. “What?” He asked before his brain could catch up with him and process the question. Quietly, Tobias urged him to act normal. It was the only advantage they had; they could act normal and pray to whatever that Tad wasn’t a controller. “Yeah, I’m fine. Uh..I just...” Words. He hated them. He hated how they never wanted to come fluently when he needed them to. If he were writing, he could express himself cohesively, pause to think out what he wanted to say and make corrections on the finished product before submitting it. Speaking wasn’t as easy. It didn’t come easily to him. He was awkward, and being aware of how awkward he was made it so much worse--as did trying to force the calm and normal act in the chance that his roommate was one of them.
Tad, however, continued to talk, even as his grip on Brandon’s shoulder started to cut off his circulation. Brandon pulled his arm out of his grasp as gently as he could, not wanting to appear hostile but not exactly wanting to be caught by the guy before he could start running either. He was no longer looking at the flier in his hand--though it was getting more than its fair share of wrinkles and creases in it as his hand started clenching tighter around it--but at Tad, eyes locked on his as though that would let him suddenly develop x-ray vision to see into the guy’s brain. There was no sign. There wouldn’t be. “Wasn’t going to. I heard it was a cult.” If there’d been a problem worth looking into, he thought Brandon would have floundered a lot more or admitted to it. The guy didn’t look too roughed up anyhow. Tad’s mind was soon distracted by the flier again, becoming a smaller and smaller crumpled ball. Not good. Not good at all.
“Cult’s pretty accurate,” Tad laughed, tucking his hand into his pocket. Was it too casual? There was no chance he was already infested if he was pulling that down, was he? He couldn’t know. He glanced surreptitiously about the restaurant, suddenly thankful the line at the counter had grown. He met Brandon’s dead-on look with the most laisez faire one he could muster. “Line’s kinda long here. Want to walk down to that Burger King?” He hadn’t ever really been rude to Brandon before, but the amount of invitations he’d given out could only be counted on one hand. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not too fond of McDonald’s.” “You’ve been to a meeting?” Brandon asked before he could stop himself, failing to sound even remotely normal with his questioning. It was immediately followed by him swallowing and taking a step back, the crumpled flier in his hand getting shoved into the trash as an excuse for his movement. The logical part of his brain, the part that had existed before Tobias, was trying to tell him he was being stupid. There was no way that Tad had a yeerk in his brain. It was stupid. Animorphs was just a book series, and he was losing it. The more prominent part, however, was taking it all in, processing it. If Tad had gone to a meeting, he could be infested. It was how the Sharing worked.
But why would he be telling Brandon to stay away if he was infested? Shouldn’t there have been some attempt to quell his fears and encourage him to go?
“I hear they’ve got a um.” Brandon rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. This was a bold move, but not knowing was making it worse. If he just gave little hints, ones that wouldn’t be picked up by normal people... “Really nasty infestation here. You know like. Down below.” He cleared his throat. “Slugs or something,” There was a shrug then, and he backed up towards the door before exiting. If Tad still came, they could talk more, or pretend nothing happened if he was completely in the dark. Either way, he was sure that wasn’t the only flier, which meant more had to be taken down. To bullshit or not bullshit, that was the question? A wry smile crossed his face, bitter and out of place for a moment. “I’ve sat in on a few meetings.” Truth. Just not as a human. Or in this life. But Brandon couldn’t know that and he wasn’t admitting to such in this room. Still, things weren’t clicking. Either Brandon was a paranoid fan of the series or...he didn’t let that thought finish. Even if he had looked, even if he’d thought of similarities, he couldn’t allow that. He did nearly sigh in relief as the flier went in the trash. Whoever this was, his act was really good or he honestly had no love for the Sharing. Things he could probably deal with.
As Brandon went on though, Tad’s heart leaped. No. Way. “Something like that,” he said, giving a slight nod. He couldn’t lose his cool, he couldn’t drop the act. Maybe it was the peace movement. Tad had faith in that - there were those existed, cooperatively. An ally. An ally. He couldn’t say no to that, not in any form. He followed the boy out, quick to reach his side as they moved down the street.
There was a quick, internal discussion about whether revealing who he was would be useful or not. On one hand, most signs pointed towards Brandon being on his side (what was his side anyhow? Fuck.) If not, then the guy was a danger and...Tad could justify knocking him out or calling for help. Either by his caretaker or Logan. Or worse came to worse, he could kill him. That thought should have shocked him, but if the guy had really been lying all this time...and was trying to pave the way for a Yeerk invasion, Tad knew in that moment he would do it. He didn’t even want to go down the road of how - ideas came too quickly, bitterly from Jake’s end as well as his own. He’s a nice kid. They’re all nice kids, aren’t they? Even though Jake was older, he seemed to term everyone as that. Side-effect of the war, Tad supposed.
“You know, they should have come with a more original name. Pretty similar to this book series from the nineties. You know what I’m talking about?” That got him to stop. It was instantaneous; the question came out of Tad’s mouth, and Brandon halted so quickly he nearly tripped, whipping around to stare at the other boy in order to gauge if this was a cruel joke or not. Logically speaking, there was no reason for him to joke about that book series if he didn’t know something. Brandon knew they’d been popular; as a kid, he had read every book he could get his hands on and let himself get wrapped up in the fantasy of it. If things were bad at home, he locked himself in his room until the storm passed with one of the many novels. They weren’t always in order since he could only read what was at the library, but he read what he could. And even having been popular, that was over a decade ago, and they’d fallen off of the map after the series’ end. It wasn’t exactly common discussion amongst college students, especially not in relation to cultist organizations.
But Tad had mentioned it, and now Brandon could feel his heart pounding practically through his ribcage. It was a moment that he truly wished he at least had Tobias’s hawk form to fall back on, because then he could at least fly the hell out of dodge if this whole thing went south.
“Yeah,” He paused, taking a moment to put at least a step’s distance between himself and Tad. He couldn’t do the dance anymore. Not when the hints were being dropped by both of them to the point that they were barely hiding anything anymore. Tobias was urging him to just run. It wasn’t worth knowing. What was worth it was running to a new city, setting up a new life, and waiting it out. But Brandon couldn’t do that. “Are you one of them? A controller? I’ll run...” The look of shock, combined with the loss of momentum was a good sign. If he was a human controller, he wouldn’t know about the books - he wouldn’t be that unhinged by it. Tad was positive of that. It left only a few options and for the moment, him being an extreme fan was out. Elimination was quick...especially with that step back. That look. He could barely remember that - Jake could barely remember it.
“If I was one, I’d lie and say no,” Tad said. There was that bitter smile again, before he looked about the street. “I don’t have a way to prove I’m not, unless you want to lock me down for three days. You’re welcome to, though, if you think Leon won’t notice.” It wasn’t a threat, just a statement of fact. He rolled one shoulder, before glancing about. The street was pretty empty, but what did that mean, exactly?
He looked back. Not the time for a weakness. Not if he was doing this again. “I’ve been a controller before though. Once upon a time. Another life. They starved him out then.” A beat, before he went on. “And for what’s it’s worth...” And this was a gamble, especially if he was right. “I’ve got Rachel. Not my cousin, but the more metallic one.” Maybe, that could be enough. If it didn’t send Brandon to the place Tobias had been after the war. Tad had a point. A controller wasn’t going to come out and admit he was a controller, especially when Brandon’s antsy behavior made it pretty obvious he was a yeerk enemy, whether Andalite or Animorph. Even with the solidarity attempted with that statement, Tobias was there to tell him not to let down his guard. Yeerks were tricky. They knew making claims like that would build trust, and he couldn’t take that chance. The more he talked, however, the more it started to click. He knew those clues. Even without Tobias’s help, he remembered the book where Jake had been infested, how they had to trap him for three days so that the yeerk would starve without the kandrona. It had made him laugh at the time to think of Ax posing as Jake and stuffing his face with food. That had been before he had the personal connection to the character.
“No way,” He whispered to himself, not wanting to stop Tad--to stop Jake--from continuing. The clues were obvious, but he wanted more confirmation, and the more Tad talked, the more he got. Even if hearing the name ‘Rachel’ made him visibly cringe, and caused Tobias to go eerily quiet. It had taken him up until then to ease his counterpart’s pain enough to try and live a cohesive life together, but that didn’t mean that Tobias didn’t have his slips. None of them had gotten out of the original war unscathed. Or, quite honestly, completely alive.
“Jake?” He questioned, furrowing his eyebrows together. He dropped his voice down, trying to avoid the passersby from overhearing their conversation, even if it would barely cause a normal person to flinch. “You have Jake? So you know...” His gaze moved past Tad to the telephone pole just behind him. Another Sharing poster, and he was quick to tear it down. “What this means?” Brandon’s cringe clinched the deal. He didn’t think Marco, or Rachel, or Cassie - or even Ax - would have reacted like that. And maybe it was Tad’s own wishfulness and luck. But he and Jake had ended up eerily alike. Brandon had reminded him of Tobias too much for it to be otherwise. A younger Tobias. A more scared one.
He nodded, shoving his hands deeper in his pockets. “Yeah. I hadn’t seen anything before. I can’t say I didn’t expect it.” For some reason, he didn’t feel comfortable outright admitting he’d been preparing for another war since Jake’s arrival. There was a part of him still what-the-fucking over one of the Animorphs being right next to him for the whole school year. And he’d been off stalking the forums! Tad followed him over, before moving on. Another went down, yet more were in sight. Just like Yeerks. Seemingly endless...
“How long?” he asked, checking to make sure Brandon was still with him. He didn’t think he’d run, but then again, if the unspoken ‘Get rid of all the signs for the Sharing immediately’ mission wasn’t obvious, he didn’t know if he had the authority with him to suggest it. Brandon nodded. He hadn’t seen posters before either--and with another one spotted, he moved over to tear it down--but like Tad, he’d been expecting something. It was almost relieving to see them; at least now, with the knowledge that something was happening, he didn’t have to constantly feel like he was walking on egg shells and waiting for the bomb to fall. It had fallen. It did bring about other questions, however. If there was a Sharing, he had to assume there was a pool somewhere, and he felt the pit of his stomach twist at that. He really didn’t want to be a hawk.
“Er. How long?” He repeated the question, before shaking his head. Duh. He wanted to know how long he’d had Tobias. That was a stupid question for him to ask. Then again, most of his questions that day had been bordering on stupid. He was still having a hard time wrapping his head around Tad, his roommate for an entire semester and a half, having Jake. He should have seen it before. The similarities were incredible, even sad in some ways. Tobias had memories of the hard decisions Jake had to make, and if things were really coming full circle, Tad was going to be put under that pressure.
“Three. Maybe four months? I haven’t told anybody because. You know.” He shrugged. Being a reincarnate wasn’t weird apparently, but being an Animorph? That had to be top secret if they were all going to survive. “We can’t. You know.” He awkwardly rubbed at his temple with his finger. “Can you?” Tad was glad they were on the same page, even on that front. Regrets were already going through his mind. Bad habit of his and Jake’s that he was in no position to remove. He should have befriended Brandon earlier in their time at Reed. He should have done a better job of getting to know him when they became roommates. He should have, he should have, he should have. Tad bit it back, keeping with the grabbing, ripping, and dumping of posters. It gave him a motion beyond walking and it gave him a purpose.
He tried to think back to what they were doing then and it bothered him he couldn’t remember. Had there been much of a change in Brandon’s personality? He just hadn’t known the guy well enough. “Yeah, I know,” Tad said with a nod. “I haven’t found any others, though I’ve been watching. On the forums, you know.” He cleared his throat, hating the awkwardness there. Got to get back in gear.
The question did startle him, before the obviousness made sense. He really took the morphing power for granted - even if he never had used it beyond for practice. Jake had insisted - well, no suggested and suggested very carefully - on acquiring morphs and practicing them. Same method of training he’d done for forces after the war. Tad hadn’t minded. Generally he felt uncomfortable morphing - it was supposed to be a weapon and a privilege. Not some game time thing. Still, he always went out in morph-able clothes . “I couldn’t. Not till I used the cube. I don’t have it with me, otherwise I’d...” He shrugged. There were so many of them. Every time they turned a corner, Brandon saw another one he needed to tear down. Was this how it was for all reincarnates? Did their characters’ pasts come back to cause problems like a vicious assault? His jaw went rigid as he ripped down yet another one, glancing over at Tad with an unmistakable look--no matter how many they teared down, he had a feeling there was going to be enough around still to entice at least one person into slavery. Tobias had been quiet since Tad’s reveal, but Brandon wasn’t sure what that was about. Was it because Rachel was mentioned? Or maybe he still had anger over Jake making that call...
“Was it hard when you got Jake?” Brandon asked carefully, wanting to see if it had been difficult for anybody else. His experience getting Tobias had been far from pleasant. The grief alone felt as though he had just lost somebody himself, and having to explain it to his brother without completely explaining it had been one of the most awkward moments of his life--and he had plenty of awkward moments. If he’d had trouble with Tobias, he could only imagine Tad had trouble with Jake. Their reincarnates’ lives had been full of tragedy, and Jake had the added stress of feeling responsibly.
“You have the cube?” He was quick to jump in with the question, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. He wanted to be able to morph to be able to protect himself and his family, especially with the knowledge that The Sharing existed in their reality now--and likely a yeerk pool--but he had that fear. He didn’t want to be a hawk for the rest of his life, and if everything else about Tobias’s life was coming true... “That’s...handy.” There was no mistaking that look sent towards him. As he looked down the road, the signs seemed to just stretch on. A leader can’t show weakness, Jake said softly, yet again. You can’t make it seem hopeless. Part of the way it works. Part of the responsibility. Part of being alone was what was unsaid and ignored. Tad’s teeth clenched and he moved on, continuing with the ripping and dumping, ripping and dumping.
“Hard?” He glanced back, unsure of what Brandon meant. The day he’d gotten Jake was still clear in his mind. Partying with Leon, then crashing and waking up with Jake’s voice freaking out. “I guess,” he said, frowning. It wasn’t something he could admit to. Part of it was because Brandon was Tobias. If Marco was here or Cassie, he would feel like he could confess. But fessing up to the one he’d screwed things up for...nearly the most? Tad couldn’t. Instead, he went with the semi-truthful. “He’s not comfortable in my head. Too many bad memories.”
Tad gave another nod, pausing with a fistful of fliers. “Not with me. I put it somewhere safe. Didn’t want it to fall into the wrongs hands.” He looked at him then, remembering - or well, taking Jake’s memories more accurately - when he’d come to his window, trapped as a red-tailed hawk. Would he do it again? He seemed to remember, more his own memory then Jake’s over Tobias having an option. Human without changing - but knowledge - and morphing but stuck as a hawk. He couldn’t guarantee the latter. He hadn’t seen the Ellimist. “Are you going to want to use it?” he asked at last, voice gentle. No forcing. He wouldn’t. Not to Brandon. Not to Tobias. Not to anyone. Brandon nodded. He couldn’t imagine it being comfortable for any of the Animorphs to be stuck as reincarnates. You spend your entire existence fighting against an alien species bent on enslaving the human race, and then you’re brought back to occupy another living person’s brain. It just didn’t seem all that right the way karma seemed to screw them over. And as for memories, there wasn’t a single one of them who didn’t have a horror story to cling to, even just from the beginning of their adventures. Still, it figured that the two standing together then would have the worst. He offered Tad a sardonic smile as he acknowledged that to himself--a habit he had come to find wasn’t completely his, but Tobias’s as well--before he took a moment to study the actual poster he was tearing down. It was the usual nonsense, community involvement, a caring environment, etc., etc. There was even a bit about how volunteering there could count as a college credit.
“They’re really upping the ante,” Brandon muttered, stopping his trek towards the next poster when a group of teens stopped to look at it. His body went rigid as he tried to think of what to do. There was a group of them, any one of them could easily be a controller trying to egg the others on to enslavement. Charging in and ripping down the poster would be too obvious.
It was just another reason why he knew he had no choice but to morph.
“Yeah,” He nodded. It wasn’t so much that he wanted to as he had no choice. He knew too much to sit back and do nothing--and he had read the book where they had bypassed Elfangor. It hadn’t ended well for any of them. If he had a choice, he wouldn’t have. Not with the risk he had of becoming a hawk again. “There’s not much of a choice, is there? Not if we’re going to beat them.” Tad paused a moment after Brandon did, picking up on the scenario as well. No, not worth risking it. A couple of people for the sole chance of... Just like old times. ‘I’ll say,’ he thought back. Nothing else could be said beyond the long look and nod to Brandon.
“No, I suppose there isn’t. Not if you’re decent,” Tad said. He took a deep breath before motioning to cross the street. “There’s too much of a risk with those who don’t understand. Or only know a little. They won’t be able to comprehend it.” Never will.
But there was a hint of something there - a stray smile that for once, hit Tad’s eyes. It was gone a moment later, seconds after, “We’ve got a better chance with two then one. I’m...really glad that’s an option.