roxanne castillo + satine (tellourstory) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2011-02-22 21:22:00 |
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Entry tags: | lucas valentine, roxanne castillo |
Who: Lucas Valentine and Roxanne Castillo
What: Emergency rehearsal?
When: Tuesday night.
Where: Backstage at Happy Endings, a random cafe, and Lucas's apartment.
Warnings: Insane word count, sap, angst, and dubiously translated French.
Roxanne had been giddy and on edge all day. It had only been two days, but the anticipation was killing her. She couldn’t wait to see Lucas again. Leaving him in Paris had practically broken her heart all over again. Then she’d gotten to work Monday to find a box and a short note waiting for her. The note had been simple, just three short words that had forced her to sit down and have another cry. Come what may. Inside the box had been a little diamond heart on a long chain. She’d yet to take it off, and had no plans to ever do so.
It didn’t look too out of place with her current costume, all black and silver. As far as outfits she’d gotten from Satine went, this one was one of her favorites. She didn’t mind the number it went with, either. Sparkling Diamonds was a big draw, and she always enjoyed herself doing it. While she was performing, her eyes kept scanning the crowd, looking for Lucas. He’d promised he would be here, so she had no doubt that he was, but she never saw him.
The moment the show was over, she disappeared backstage as fast as her legs would carry her. A quick word with Lexi and Sapphire and she had herself a pair of eager lookouts. She doubted Richard would show up here, but she wanted to be ready, just in case. Unpinning her hat, she shook out her damp curls. Doing that much running and dancing and moving made her more energized than anything, but sometimes she looked like she’ just run a mile.
She pushed open the door to her dressing room and gasped, surprised. He was already here. Surprise quickly turned in to delight as she shut and locked the door behind her. “You made it.”
---
This night couldn't come soon enough. He'd indulged his inner-poet, wandering around Paris on Sunday after Roxanne had left. Then yesterday he'd sent her that gift, but today he finally got to see her again. Even on edge from waiting, he'd still been in an unusually good mood the past two days. By the time he arrived at the club he was practically giddy. It was good he hadn't come with anyone he knew, they probably would have wondered who he was and what he'd done with Luc.
The show really was well done. It was an odd thing the reincarnates here had pulled together, but the draw of it was undeniable. Mostly, of course, he loved watching Roxanne on stage, and once they were on to the other acts, he'd slipped off to find his way backstage. Any more waiting was going to drive him crazy, and he might was well go crazy in relative privacy. So when Roxanne entered the dressing room, he was already there waiting. He had wanted to surprise her, and apparently it had worked.
"I made it." He grinned brightly. As soon as the door was closed he stepped forward, grabbing her, spinning her around, and kissing her. "I missed you."
---
She laughed as she spun, her arms going automatically around his shoulders. Once she’d kissed him back thoroughly, she looked up in to his face. She’d tried to memorize it, so she could recall it in detail when they weren’t together, but nothing was as good as the real thing. She loved his smile. There was no reason for her not to kiss him again, her lips curving against his. He made her so happy just by being there.
“I missed you, too. I’ve been going crazy without you.” Not that being with him didn’t make her a whole different kind of crazy. She already thought that she loved him more than anything. Every time he touched her, that feeling only got stronger.
She reached down to tug the diamond heart in to view, holding it loosely between her fingers. “Thank you for this. It’s beautiful.”
---
Standing there, holding her and kissing her it was like everything snapped back into focus. The world was the way it was supposed to be again. "Me too. And it was only a couple days." He didn't say what they both must have been thinking. If they were going crazy just being apart for two nights, they were really in trouble.
"I'm glad you like it." He looked down at the sparkling heart, taking her hand in his. It had been expensive, but when he picked it out it still hadn't seemed like enough. He wanted to get something that would do her justice. It looked much more beautiful now that it was on her. "I wanted you to have something to hold on to. To prove it's all real." He'd wished he'd had something to give her on Sunday, the way she'd given him the ring. He'd carried it with him everywhere since they'd parted.
---
She ran her fingers softly down his cheek. “Even if we saw each other every day, I don’t think that would change. I’d still miss you every night.” She’d had plenty of time to miss him for the last two nights. It had been impossible for her to sleep in the same bed as Richard. Instead, she’d lain awake just thinking about him, and that one night they’d spent together. It was as good as any dream.
“It’s probably too much for me to accept, but I love it. I haven‘t taken it off yet.” She laced her fingers through his, leaning forward to rest her head against his chest. It was hard not to think about how brief this visit would have to be, but if it was all she was going to get, she would make the most of it. The more time they spent apart, the less she wanted to leave him when they were actually together. It was becoming a problem. “You keep doing all these wonderful things for me. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you.”
---
"It looks much more beautiful on you." He didn't think about the time they had. Not yet. He was caught up in the joy of seeing her. There were few things that anticipation didn't make sweeter, and this was no exception.
"I haven't done anything that you haven't already made up for and more, just by being you." He stroked her hair, holding her close. "Besides, I owe you. You're the one taking a risk by being with me, and you're the who agreed to see him in the first place when I stumbled back here with no idea what I was doing." It was also a chance to give her the sort of things Christian could never give to Satine. He wanted to be the sort of man she deserved.
---
She sighed happily, letting her eyes close as his hand ran over her hair. The more he spoke, the more she wondered if he could feel the love spilling out of her. It seemed like she had too much of it inside of her to hide, that everyone who looked at her would see little red hearts circling around her head. Well, she wouldn’t have to hide it too much longer. She’d already made that promise to herself.
“You give me too much credit.” Roxanne slid slowly away from him, leaning in for one more kiss before she untangled herself completely. “I need to change. I’m a little gross, and I’m getting you all glittery.” She wasn’t as outrageous with the glitter as some of the girls, but it did add something under the lights, and once it was on it never came off. That is, until you brushed up against someone else. She brushed at his shirt, which did nothing but make a few small patches shimmer. “Sorry about that.”
To make up for it, she gave him a sly smile. “Want to give me a hand with the hooks?”
---
Looking at the glitter sticking to him and her futile attempt to brush any of it off he had to laugh. "Well I guess everyone will know that I had a good night." He'd only passed a couple people when he came in here, and he had no idea what they though. He didn't care what they thought, or what he'd probably look like on his way out.
"Uh... yeah. Yes. Of course." That sly smile made it hard to think for a moment. Not that it was anything he hadn't seen before after the night they'd spent together, but the glitter wasn't the only thing sticking to her. She had a certain aura on stage, just like Satine, and it was hard not to be in awe of that. Moving behind her he slid his hand down the smooth plane of her upper back before undoing the hooks on her costume.
---
She laughed with him. “Probably.” It was pretty telling when a man came out from the backstage area all glittery with a few lipstick smudges. That kind of thing happened often enough that there wouldn’t be very many people to remark on it, though. They would be okay. Keeping things a secret from the other girls was next to impossible, but at least no one else would ever need to know.
Her heart jumped when his fingers brushed her back. It didn’t take much effort from him to make her breath catch. She crossed one arm over her chest, keeping the front of her costume in place until she was ready to slide it off. But first she leaned back against him, tilting her face far enough to the side to invite another kiss and hopefully driving the both of them just a little bit crazy.
---
He kissed her, lingering and sliding his hand up her side. Even when they broke off the kiss, he didn't move away. He kissed the curve of her shoulder and then the back of her neck. If her intention had been to drive them a little bit crazy, she'd more than succeeded.
"I think that's all of them." He'd nearly forgotten about why he was standing there in the first place. A little smirk crossed his face. "Anything else I can help with?"
----
The touch of his lips made her sigh again, her head tipping to the side to give him more access. It was a good thing they were standing so close together. If they hadn’t been, she might have fallen down when her knees went to jello. She reached up, running a hand through his hair and wondering what she’d done to deserve someone who could always make her feel like this.
His words brought her slowly back to reality. Taking a deep breath, she stepped away. “Hmm. Maybe.” She sent him a teasing glance before she started blushing. “Or you can just wait right there.” There was a screen up in the back of the room so that other people could keep her company and not have to see her naked. She started that way, untying the few knots that were keeping the rest of her clothes on.
---
He wasn't sure which was sexier, the come hither glance or her sudden blush. Both had his heart racing. It was all he could do to actually wait there while she changed, but he did, if only to prove that he still had some scrap of willpower left when it came to her.
“Don’t be long. I’m not sure how much more waiting I can take.” She disappeared behind the screen and he wandered over to her make-up table, examining the various items on it and wondering what they said about her. It was a half-decent distraction from staring at the screen and wondering other things.
---
Her laugh carried across the room as she disappeared behind the screen. “I’ll be quick.” Or as quick as she could be. Everything she pulled off had to be hung up carefully, so it would be ready for her next show. Once that was done, she slipped in to more practical underwear, then in to the jeans and light long sleeved top she’d worn in to work that day.
She smoothed her hands over her clothes before she stepped back out. He was just as appealing to her standing there, turning over a few of the pots and tubes that she kept here, as he had been in the hotel room in Paris. She came up behind him, running a hand lightly across his back before she reached down and picked up a brush. “If you want, we don’t have to stay here. I have a few hours before…” She didn’t continue. She knew she wouldn’t have to, and she’d rather not mention Richard more than she had to.
---
She didn't have to finish that sentence. He knew what she meant, and she was just as glad she hadn't mentioned the other man. The less they mentioned him, the less real he was. As it was, Lucas almost had a hard time believing in him. He didn't think Roxanne was lying, or anything like that, but Richard didn't seem like a real man. More like some sort of phantom threat hanging over her. He wasn't sure what sort of hold he had on her, but he'd find out someday. For now, he hated to bring it up, when it made her so upset to talk about it.
"Sure. We could go out. We could get dinner and talk." He didn't have any plans for tonight. He'd just counted on getting to see her. He probably should have thought past that. He flashed her a teasing smile. "Like normal people." He was joking. Mostly joking. They hadn't really gone about this relationship in a normal order, but he wasn't going to complain about a moment of it.
---
“I’d like that.” She wanted to spend more time getting to know him. It was strange, she was pretty sure she had been in love with him before she’d even known who he was. So far, everything she learned only made her like him more. She enjoyed him as someone completely separate from Christian. It would only be a matter of time before she loved him just as much as her reincarnate loved him.
Roxanne smiled at him as she ran the brush through her hair. Tossing it back on the table, she slid on her jacket, and took her hand. They could go out to dinner and pretend that they were a normal couple. That was almost as good as hiding out in Paris for a night. “Just like normal people.” She led them out of the dressing room, ignoring the sly looks from the few girls they passed. “There’s a café around the corner, if you don’t mind walking.”
---
Lucas felt a bit like some sort of museum exhibit with the looks he was getting in the backstage hall, but he didn't say anything. He told himself he really had nothing to be embarrassed about and focused on Roxanne instead. That was the easy part. Around her he could forget there was anyone else in the world.
"I don't mind at all. It sounds perfect." He twined his fingers with hers, keeping hold of her hand as they walked down the street. This was what he wanted. Their weekend away had been thrilling, and the physical attraction between them was like nothing he'd ever felt before, but he wanted this too. To just spend time together, doing normal things, getting to know each other. He wanted her to be part of his life.
---
It was nice to be with him like this, like they could do this whenever they wanted. People took advantage of way too much in their relationships. She promised herself she would never do that, not with Lucas. It occurred to her that someone might see them out here like this, but she didn’t care. She was already tired of pretending. She wanted to be with him like this, always.
The café was almost empty this late, with only a few scattered customers around. Roxanne waved to man behind the counter before she led them to a corner booth. This place was a regular hangout for anyone still around when Happy Endings closed. They had some time before the crowd came in, though. Before that, they’d get some more time to spend alone. “I like this. Us being able to be here like this.”
---
"I do too." He kept getting lost in the moment, or in looking at her. Normally on a date, if that's what this even was, he'd be caught up in trying to be polite and keeping up a standard non-threatening sort of conversation. Any silence between them didn't seem awkward though, and there wasn't anything they were supposed to talk about, or that they had to keep secret. His biggest secret was Christian, and she already knew all about him, better than anyone else.
The corner booth wasn't exactly private, but it was cozy, and for now they were alone. "It's something they never got to do either, being out together. So it really is just us, something brand new. Who knew we could make a late night cafe something exotic and new?" He wasn't sure if that sounded as ridiculous as he thought it did, but he thought she'd know what he meant. Somehow she always did.
---
She put her hand in his again, wanting to stay as close to him as possible for as long as possible. It was nice to think that one day they might be able to do this whenever they wanted. They wouldn’t have to sneak around or make brief plans to see each other. It would be so blissfully normal. She hadn’t realized how much she wanted that until they sat down there.
“I wish they could have.” Satine and Christian deserved so much more than what they’d had. Together with Lucas she’d been able to give Satine a lot of what she had been missing. She’d missed Christian so much that Roxanne had been feeling it for years. Now that they had seen each other, it was almost unbearable. “Everything so far has been exotic and new. For me, anyway.” She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. “It’s been a long time since I’ve done something like this.”
---
"They deserved more," he agreed, giving her hand a squeeze. "Maybe that what this reincarnation thing is really about. Another chance." That was a hopelessly romantic notion, but it seemed like the truth, at least in their case. If there was any justice or reason behind all of this, Christian and Satine certainly deserved a chance at real happiness.
"Me too." He laughed softly. "Well, I've never done anything quite like what we're doing, but this, now, just being together, it's been too long since I've had anything like this. It's been years since I felt this way, if I ever did."
---
“Another chance for them and for us. It’s perfect.” She’d already had her life changed by him. He really had given her a chance for something different. Now she just had to figure out how to use that chance. She wanted him in her life, one way or another. She was just so afraid of failing him somehow that she couldn’t take that step.
She laughed with him, knowing exactly what he meant. Whatever they were doing, it certainly wasn’t normal. But it was working, somehow. Things could only get better from here. Or that’s what she was hoping for, at least. She wanted better. “Neither have I. I’m glad we are, though.” She turned a little pink knowing that she was the one who made him happy. She sighed and looked away, fiddling with the rolled silverware with her free hand. “I’m going to leave him, Lucas.”
---
"It is perfect." He didn't think he'd get a second chance any more than Christian would. Now here they were, both of them, with the one woman who was undoubtedly the love of their lives. The trick was in keeping her. The fact that she was still with Richard made him both worried and jealous. If he was the Duke who knew what sort of manipulations he was capable of, but beyond that he worried that Roxanne would decide to stay with him. He was a known quantity, an established relationship. Lucas was just some guy who'd stumbled into her life a few days ago. He wasn't offering stability, he was offering to turn her life completely upside-down, no matter how good his intentions were.
He tensed when she looked away nervously, but what she had to say was good news. "Really?" He was sure it was hard for her, but he couldn't stop the bright smile from spreading across his face. "That's great. We can do this. Just us, no hiding, no deceptions. Something real."
---
Hearing him say that they would be okay lifted some of the weight off her shoulders. Not all of it, since she still had to figure out a way to tell all this to Richard, but some. She wanted to be with him. Even if he hadn’t wanted the same thing, she still would have left Richard. Lucas had opened her eyes to everything that was wrong with her relationship. She couldn’t live like that anymore.
“Just us.” She held his hand a little tighter, her only lifeline. “It’s already real. I don’t want to be with him, not knowing that you’re here.” She practically had to bite her tongue to keep from telling him how she really felt. That she was in love with him. It still felt too soon. And completely insane. Things didn’t happen this way for real people. “I’m tired of hiding. I haven’t been fair to you, and I know it. I want to make things right, the way they’re supposed to be.”
---
"This is the way things are supposed to be." He kissed her. Right there in public, because they could, and because he wanted to. She was his. She was going to be just his and he was hers. He was already hers, irrevocably, whether she knew it or not. He'd given her a piece of his heart with their very first kiss, and then in Paris he'd realized that it wasn't just Christian. He'd fallen for her all on his own.
"I know this has been fast, and crazy, but I wouldn't want it any other way. Now that I've met you, I just want you in my life, always." He was aware that he was probably coming on too strong, and that this wasn't necessarily the most romantic setting, but she was taking a big step for him and he wanted to make sure she knew just how much she meant to him. "I love you."
---
She felt incredibly exposed, kissing him in the middle of a café, but she still smiled. They should be able to do this whenever they wanted. It would be possible, and soon. As soon as she worked up the courage to actually tell Richard. She wouldn’t be able to wait too much longer. The more time she spent with Lucas, the more she knew it was obvious to people watching what was going on. She knew she was happier, for one. He was always on her mind, and just thinking about him made her smile.
Always. She felt her heart beat faster. “You’ll have me. I promise.” There was no way, after meeting him, that she could spend her life with anyone else. She already knew that without a doubt. Even if she ended up disappointing him the same way she had Richard, she would never find anyone else who made her feel like he did.
For a moment, she stopped breathing. It felt like she’d been waiting for forever to hear him say those words. “I love you, too. I think I have since the first time you kissed me.” She kissed him again, just like the first time, lingering without a care in the world. This was all that mattered.
---
That promise was like a sunrise. Always. The two of them, always. And then it only got better. It was like the world around them disappeared for that moment. She loved him. They kissed as lovers kiss. This was the start of something good. This was life beginning, truly and fully.
Lucas laughed, full of joy, letting it take him over. "I'm pretty sure the first time I kissed you, you thought I was crazy." She wasn't wrong if she had. He'd been more than a little out of his mind, but he'd felt it too, the spark between them, and he’d fallen for her in that moment too. He never would have been as bold as he was that night if he hadn’t.
---
She loved it when he laughed like that. Most of the time he looked so serious. Laughter softened the whole effect, though he was still handsome enough that she doubted she would have talked to him first if they’d met any kind of normal way. She couldn’t deny that she liked looking at him. She brushed a thumb over his cheek with a fond smile. “Maybe a little.” That had been a crazy night all around. She couldn’t blame him for anything he had done. In fact, she was grateful for it. “I can’t imagine what you thought of me then, either. When I told you to leave.”
A waitress finally appeared with coffee, giving Roxy one curious look before she went back to the counter. People here knew her, but they didn’t know Richard. This was the kind of place he wouldn’t be caught dead in. There were only a few places that were safe from his influence, but this was one of them. “I won’t be doing that again.”
---
"I thought I'd blown my only chance with you." He looked slightly wistful. When she'd told him to leave he'd thought that was it and she'd never want to see him again. If Christian hadn't taken over he might have left and that might have been it. He would always be grateful to his reincarnate for that moment.
"That's good, because I probably wouldn't listen to you even if you did. And without Christian taking over." He brushed her hair back gently, letting his hand linger, tracing down the curve of her cheek. "Once I know what I want, I can be pretty determined."
---
“Never.” Even if she’d managed to run him off there, she didn’t think she would have left it at that. She would have had to go looking for him, to find him. Satine wouldn’t have let him just walk away from them. She pressed a light kiss against his cheek, staying close. It would have been nice to stay with him for the rest of the night, to never go back to Richard. But it would never work. She’d only drag Lucas in to more trouble.
She tilted her head lightly toward his hand when he touched her. Each and every time it gave her a warm feeling. “That sounds familiar. Christian was the same. It’s a charming kind of determination.” She wanted to kiss him again. Instead, she took a sip of her coffee. “I won’t make you wait too much longer.” Smiling softly, she squeezed his hand. “What will we do then?” She knew she would leave Richard, and go to Lucas. But she had no idea what happened after that.
---
He looked away, still smiling, but focusing on his coffee rather intently because otherwise he'd just end up kissing her again.
"Then? We'll live happily ever after?" He hadn't thought it through, really. He just knew he wanted to be with her. Part of him would have happily proposed to her right here and now, and set them on that path. He had to be a little more practical than that though, if only to prove to himself that he hadn't completely lost his mind.
"We could take all the usual steps. Exchange phone numbers, start dating, move in together, get married, have beautiful children and make everyone we know disgustingly jealous. Or we could run off to Paris and live the Bohemian life. Even Bohemians must need lawyers, right? Whatever we do, I just want to do it together." He didn't know what came next. This wasn't a normal relationship, but he didn't want it to be. It was so much more.
---
It was so easy for her to picture everything he said, the future with him. His answer wasn’t what she had been expecting, in fact it kind of scared her, but she could see it clearly. They’d barely known each other a week, and already she knew that having a life with him would be…effortless. Whether it was fate or just good luck she’d found the man she wanted to be with, a man she could marry and make a family with. She may have gone insane, but it was exactly what she wanted.
“Really? That’s what you want?” The whole idea of marriage and children was almost too good to be true. She tried not to let all her hopefulness show. Roxanne had yet to meet a man who had kept all his promises to her. Still, she knew that Lucas would be different. She didn’t know how she knew. None of this made nay sense in the real world, but she did.
While the rest of that daydream may have been in the distant future, she could take the first step now. Digging a pen out of her bag, she flipped over a napkin and scribbled her name and number on the back. “Here.” She smiled at him. “It’s a start.”
---
"I don't know. Maybe?" He backed off, not wanting to completely overwhelm her. He didn't know what he wanted. It wasn't part of his life plan now, but it didn't mean it wasn't something he wanted. It was incredibly easy to picture, though. Life never came out like you planned, he knew that, but it was a very pretty plan.
He grinned when she gave him the scribbled note on the napkin. "It's a very good start." He stole her pen so he could scrawl his personal number on the back of a business card. "That's step one down."
---
“I’m sorry. It’s just that it all sounds so wonderful. Better than I ever expected.” She didn’t want to disappoint him, but she didn’t want to push things either. Even if things between them didn’t feel as fragile as they had in Paris, she was still worried that one wrong move would ruin everything. She was too used to walking on eggshells around men. Lucas wasn’t anything like anyone she’d ever been involved with, but the worry was still there that somehow she would screw up.
She tucked the business card in the pocket of her jacket, not wanting to leave it somewhere that Richard would find it. That wasn’t how she wanted him to find out about this. “If you’re ready to start on the next step, would you like to go have dinner some time?”
---
He was starting to notice just how much time she spent apologizing. In this case he wasn't even sure what she was sorry for. He didn't mention it, but it made him wonder where she'd picked up that habit. He didn't think she had anything at all to be apologizing for.
"We'll take it a step at a time and see what happens." Even if he was tempted to jump way ahead, it would probably be good for them to pace themselves a little bit. He didn't want her to regret any of this.
"I'd like that. A lot." He made a sweeping gesture at the cafe around them and gave her a teasing smile. "Does this count? Because we could move through all of these pretty fast."
---
She smiled and ran a hand down his arm. “Come what may, right?” Taking it one step at a time sounded like a good plan. She didn’t want to end up pushing him away by being too enthusiastic. Part of her wanted to run away with him right then and there, but that wasn’t the way she should do things. She had to go about this the right way. She owed Richard that much at least. They had been together for years, even if she was in love with someone else.
“I don’t see why not.” She returned his smile. As far as first dates went, they’d already had something far better. This was still good, though. Not nearly as overwhelming. Completely normal. She blushed lightly. “That doesn’t sound so bad.” It would only take her another day, maybe two, to escape Richard. Lexi had already said she could stay there. She was already in love with Lucas. Everything that came after should come easily.
---
"Come what may." That summed things up nicely. It encompassed all the things they couldn't say right now, or hadn't said yet. It was the main reason he hadn't gone crazy by now, knowing there was someone else. Whatever happened, they loved each other and they would be together. He didn't think he'd ever believed anything as strongly as he believed that.
"We sure do pick the spots." It was so different from where they'd been over the weekend, but he didn't mind. It was nice and simple, and it was part of the world Roxanne lived in. She seemed comfortable here, even if being together in public was still strange for both of them. He had to admit, he was a little worried that some of her terrifying friends would show up at any moment. They reminded him of, well, of most of the other people from their source. Generally nice, but completely overwhelming. "We could always go back to my place after this. If you have time."
---
“Maybe next time we can have an actual meal. In public and everything.” She grinned. Lexi was right, she really was happier with him than she’d been in a long time. Everything about him cheered her up. “Just like normal people.”
She drank the last of her coffee, running her free finger around the rim of her mug. When he suggested they go back to his place, she raised an eyebrow. It was forward of him, but she didn’t mind. They hadn’t gotten nearly enough time alone together. “I’ll make time.” Richard could wait. She no longer cared about what he thought. If she was home late, so be it. Lucas was all that was important now. “I don’t usually go home with someone on the first date, but I think I can make an exception this time.”
---
"Next time. Who knows we may even work our way up to dinner and a movie." Doing normal things sounded great, and yet strange. He'd fallen far to easily into the same pattern their reincarnate's had, where this was what seemed normal.
Even with that, he couldn't quite believe he'd just asked her what he had, but after Paris they didn't exactly have any boundaries to cross. It wasn't even that though. He wanted more time alone with her. He wanted to see her happy and carefree the way she'd been on Saturday. The way they'd both been.
"Definitely an exception. I don't make a habit of taking girls back to my place on the first date. Not that I date a lot. I mean, I do, some, but I don't..." He stopped himself before he could dig any deeper. It was like payback for being so aggressive, now he would inevitably somehow sound like an idiot. "There's really no way of continuing this that doesn't make me feel either sleazy or pathetic. Can we just stick with this is an exception, and you're exceptional." Brilliant. Because a little charm at the end would distract from all the rest of his rambling.
---
She couldn’t help but laugh at him when he rambled. He was so cute, so different from anyone she’d ever been attracted to. She’d been waiting her entire life for someone like him. No, that wasn’t right. She’d been waiting for him. They were meant for each other. Even if they hadn’t been playing host to Satine and Christian, she still thought he would have been everything she wanted. It would have just taken her longer to realize it, if they’d ever even gotten a chance to meet.
Leaning over, she gave him a short, playful kiss. “I don’t think you’re sleazy or pathetic.” She smiled and brushed her lips over his again. “I think you’re charming and handsome and brilliant.” Digging in to her coat pocket, she pulled out a couple of bills and tossed them on the table. She could cover the coffee, since he’d gone all out on their trip to Paris. It was only fair, and it made her feel like a little less of a burden on him.
Sliding toward the edge of the bench, she pulled him along with her. “Are you ready to get out of here?”
---
Her compliments practically had him beaming. He wasn't sure how accurate they were, but he wanted her to think that he was brilliant and charming and handsome, so if she did he must have been doing something right.
For a split second he eyed the bills on the table and thought of telling her that he could get this, but then he thought better of it. This was her place, somewhere she'd brought him. It was entirely possible that he'd had one too many extremely awkward failed first dates with feminist lawyers and and executives. He knew when to not start an argument.
Once they'd Slid out of the corner booth he pulled her close and gave her another quick kiss. The cafe was starting to fill up more, but they may as well keep testing this public affection thing. "Let's get out of here."
---
She grinned against his lips when he kissed her. There were more people around, but that didn’t matter. All anyone here would see was a couple that couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They weren’t wrong. Even after they separated, she kept her hand in his. She never would have guessed that doing something as simple as holding hands would mean so much to her, but with Lucas, it did.
Roxanne led them out of the café and on to the street, but after that she had no idea where they were headed. She was madly in love with Lucas, but she had no idea where he lived. That almost made her laugh. They really were going about this as backwards as possible. Not that she minded. She wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I guess you should lead the way.”
---
He led her lead, half wondering where exactly she thought she was taking them. He was willing to follow, just out of curiosity. When she realized she didn't know where to go he nearly laughed. "I'm uptown." Grinning, he tugged her towards the corner. "Maybe we should just get a cab."
He hailed a cab and held the door open for her before sliding in next to her. It wasn't a very long ride, but it was safe to say that Happy Endings wasn't exactly in his neighborhood, or anywhere he usually frequented. Old brick buildings were increasingly replaced by steel and glass as they headed north.
Taking her hand again he led her into the building. As soon as they'd gotten into the elevator he was kissing her again.
---
The farther north they headed, the more nervous she got. Was it possible that this whole time they’d been living in the same part of town? She resisted the urge to duck as they turned on to familiar streets. He’d said Chicago was a big place, but when the cab stopped, it was only a handful of miles to the place she shared with Richard. She’d passed this building before. How was it possible that they’d never crossed paths before this?
She glanced up and down the street as they made their way in to his building. If they were going to keep doing this after she left Richard, he needed to know how close he would be. She didn’t get a chance to tell him immediately, though. The second the elevator doors closed, his lips were on hers. She didn’t have any willpower against that, so rather than ruin the moment, she kissed him back, one hand going to the back of his neck.
When they came up for air, she leaned back slightly. “Wait. There’s something I have to tell you.” She hated talking about Richard here, when it was just supposed to be the two of them. “My apartment, the one I share with….it’s not too far from here.” She looked down, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, but you should know. I’m worried if he finds out who you are, he’ll show up here.”
---
Lucas had no idea what to make of that. He couldn't say that he didn't believe that The Duke was a threat. He'd wanted to believe that, he had believed it for awhile, but he wasn't completely naive. If nothing else, his conversation with his friend Chris had highlighted just how stupid he was being about this, and he also couldn't ignore the fact that Roxy was truly worried about it.
"Roxanne..." He bit his lower lip, trying to think of what to say. The elevator doors slid open. "Come here." He led her down the hall and unlocked his door. This wasn't really a conversation he wanted to have in the hallway. Once they were inside he flipped on the lights and faced this latest issue.
"Okay, that's not great news. I've been thinking though, well, eventually he is going to find out. I don't think distance is going to make much of a difference. It's just something I'm going to have to deal with." He'd dealt with angry and irrational people before. Sometimes it felt like doing that was half his job. How much harder could this really be?
---
She followed him to his apartment, her quick glance around making her sigh inside. Why couldn’t men ever figure out the fundamentals of decorating? That wasn’t what she should be focused on, though. Turning back to Lucas, she looked up at him sadly. He thought this would be easy. She wanted him to be right, but she didn’t think that Richard would leave her alone even after she left. It wasn’t really her that she was worried about, though. It was Lucas.
“I don’t want you to have to deal with it.” For the first time she actually sounded frustrated. “This should be my problem, not yours.” She hated herself for dragging him in to trouble with her. It would have been better if she’d sorted out all her troubles before running off with him, but it was too late for that. She knew they wouldn’t be able to hide this, and they were both so tired of waiting.
She pushed her hands through her hair, willing herself to calm down. “I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”
---
He put his hands on her shoulders. Part of him wanted to hug her and part of him wanted to shake her. Mostly he just wanted her to focus on him. "Listen to me. You are not more trouble than you're worth." This side of her was so unlike Satine, who always seemed so strong and confident. Roxanne was more uncertain and vulnerable. Maybe that's part of what made her so sweet. It also made Lucas want to protect her, any way he could.
"You're worth a lot of trouble. I love you, and you're worth all the trouble they went through before and more. Whatever happens, we're going to face it. Together." This was where his determination came back into play. They were going to get their chance, and he wasn't going to let anything or anyone ruin that.
---
Looking up at him, she wondered if it was even possible for her to fall even more in love with him. He was so strong and sure of himself, she automatically believed what he said. It should have struck her as odd before then that she trusted him like she did. She’d never been the trusting sort, not even close. But she’d trusted Lucas since the moment they’d met. She had let him in her dressing room before she’d even been sure of who he was. And he had yet to let her down.
She sighed and wrapped her arms around him. He was the kind of man who wouldn’t let her face anything alone. She liked that about him. “You’re making this too easy for me. I’m not used to things being easy.” She kissed him softly. How could she have ever thought she was in love with anyone else?
---
She seemed reassured, which was good. He hated seeing her worried or upset. Especially not when they had so little time to be together. Whatever it took to change that would be worth it, that much he was convinced of.
He took that kiss as a sign that things were going to be okay, somehow. How couldn't this work out, when everything felt so right? Still, it was complicated. Far more complicated than he was used to his personal life being. "This is easy?" He let out a breath that was not quite a sigh and not quite a laugh. "I'm not sure I want to know what you consider things being difficult."
---
“You have no idea.” She had told him plenty about herself. He knew what she wanted to be, and who she was now, but they’d yet to get in to her childhood. While she doubted it was something that would scare him off, it wasn’t the kind of thing she wanted to get in to when they had such a limited time together. They needed to focus on the good while they could. “Maybe I’ll tell you someday.”
For now, everything was okay. They were together, they were alone, and for the next few hours, she was all his. One day soon this would be normal for them, but for now, they had to take advantage of every second. Stepping away, she shrugged out of her jacket, draping it over her arm with her bag. “Do you want to give me the tour?”
---
“You’ll have to.” He really didn’t know that much about her. He had to wonder what sorts of things had made her, well, her. The same way she didn’t know much about him. They’d have time for that though. Later.
“Right, the grand tour.” There wasn’t much of a tour to give. The main room was large, with high ceilings and white walls. It kind of looked like he’d walked into a furniture store and bought a whole room set up as is. That would be because that’s exactly what he’d done. He was aware that he had no sense of style. No, that wasn’t exactly true. He liked beautiful things and places and could appreciate them, he just had no idea how to produce anything like that on his own. The only touches he had really added here were a scattering of framed photographs of family and friends.
“This is pretty much it?” He smiled sheepishly. He could invite a beautiful woman back to his apartment no problem, but he’d still find every way to be awkward. He gestured to the doors leading off the main room. “There’s an office and spare room and, uh, the bedroom.” He drew her towards the large picture windows and the door to the balcony. The lights of the city spread out below, sparkling like jewels. “I picked this place for the view. Something else I have in common with Christian, I guess.”
---
She took a better look around this time. The room was sparse at best, but everything matched and he’d added a few personal items. Still, it was like an itch between her shoulder blades. This was such a great space, practically begging for someone creative to turn it in to something fabulous. She’d already started mentally redecorating when she forced herself back to reality.
The view more than made up for the rest. She leaned against him, wrapping an arm around him with a wistful sigh. “It’s beautiful.” He didn’t keep his curtains tightly drawn to block out the rest of the world. Even though the room was mostly bare, it didn’t feel imposing. Not like the place she’d found herself living. She would have much preferred something like this. Well, she would have it. Eventually. One step at a time.
She pulled him down for another kiss, unable to resist the allure that was only increased by the romantic view and her own lovely daydreams. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
--
"Thanks for letting me bring you." Standing there it felt like the city was theirs. The future was theirs. She really did bring out the romantic side of him. "You're welcome here, anytime. No matter what." He hoped that she could have guessed that, but he wanted to make it clear.
He slid his arms behind her back and pulled her close, kissing her deeply.
---
Her arms circled his neck like it was the most natural thing in the world. They already fit together well. She’d never felt so in touch with another person. With Lucas, it seemed like they were always in step. They might fumble from time to time, but that odd, elusive rhythm was always there. She hoped it would stay like that. They loved and understood each other. Nothing was better than that.
She laughed when they broke apart. All of her worries were forgotten. They had each other, and that was the important part. “If we do move in together, we’re going to have a strong talk about your furniture.” It said a lot about how far they’d come together that she was able to not only give him a hard time, but casually mention the future they might have. She slipped her hands under his jacket, tracing the familiar shape of his body through his shirt. “But we’ll be able to do this whenever we want. It might be a fair trade.”
---
He laughed. "What you don't like beige?" If he'd known that she was already mentally redesigning his place he would have laughed even harder. "It took me almost a whole day to pick all this out." He'd be glad to have any talk she wanted when they moved in together. Or just let her do something about it. That would be even better.
"You haven't seen the best part though." His hands slipped down, running down her lower back and further. "You haven't seen the bedroom. I think you'll really like the bed..."
---
Sighing, she shook her head sadly. Men. She would never understand how they could live like this. It wasn’t that she had a problem with beige. It was fine. In offices and waiting rooms. If they moved in together, he seemed like he would be a lot more easy going about letting her play around with their home. She felt a happy little flutter inside at that thought. Their home.
She did her best to hide her smile. “It‘s not beige, is it?” Laughing, she tipped her head to the side, kissing up the side of his neck. “Why don’t you show me, and then I’ll let you know what I think.”
---
"It's not beige." At that moment he honestly couldn't have told her what color the bed was, but he knew exactly where it was, which was far more important right now. "Right. This. Way." He punctuated each word with a kiss, backing towards the bedroom but not letting go of her, not wanting to break contact in the slightest.
There was a lot more to their relationship than physical attraction, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't been wanting to be with her again, desperately, ever since Paris. He'd thought about touching her, her touching him, how perfectly they moved together, his lips pressed against hers.
---
She laughed as she stumbled with him toward the bedroom. It wasn’t the most graceful of exits, since they refused to separate even to walk, but they managed. She barely noticed where they were going, far more focused on the way his lips felt against hers. She’d missed this almost as much as she’d missed him. She wasn’t ashamed of that at all. People who said sex wasn’t important obviously weren’t having any.
When they hit the bedroom, she pulled him with her back on to the bed. She did take enough time to look to make sure the cover wasn’t beige (it wasn’t) before tugging at his shirt until she could get her hands on his skin. A thought crossed her mind that made her giggle. “I should warn you….Lexi took me shopping.”
---
"Hmmm. I'm," he was busy kissing a line up her neck, "not surprised. She spent quite awhile interrogating me over the boards." He didn't bother commenting on just how odd her friend was. He was certain that Roxy was well aware of that, and at least she seemed to have good intentions.
He whispered, his lips brushing against her skin, "Does this mean I get a fashion show?" Looking at her was almost as good as touching her. Almost.
---
Every time his lips touched her skin, she shivered agreeably. He was very good at making her crazy. It didn’t surprise her to hear that Lexi had interrogated him. Her friends never did know when to stop. At least it hadn’t scared him off. In fact, he seemed pretty interested in the results of the whole thing. Maybe Lexi had been a little right.
“I don’t know.” She put a finger under his chin, guiding his lips back up to hers. “Do you want one?” Like she didn’t know the answer to that question. She slid out from under him, propping herself up on her knees and toying with the hem of her shirt. Her heart was beating rapidly. She’d never done something like this, not in the privacy of the bedroom. On stage was one thing. It wasn’t nearly so personal.
Slowly, slowly, she pulled off her sweater, tossing it to the side before she looked up at him, smiling shyly.
---
Another kiss was obviously answer enough. He moved over, laying back and watching her eagerly. He exhaled audibly, a soft, low-pitched "oh". She really was astoundingly beautiful. He had no idea how he had gotten so lucky as to have her here with him.
Then he laughed, noticing something else. "Black lace." He was grinning playfully. "This is definitely worth having given in and answered her embarrassing questions."
---
She loved the way he looked at her, like she was the only person in the world that mattered. Her smile widened when he noticed what she was wearing. She didn’t know the whole story behind what Lexi had said to him. All she knew was that she’d been ushered in to a store, given an armload of frilly black lace, and told to try them all on. As long as Lucas appreciated the effect, though, it had been worth it.
“I tried to get her to stop, but she doesn’t listen to anyone.” She moved back to him, leaning over and giving him a long, teasing kiss. Then it was on to the buttons on his shirt. She sat up, one leg on either side of him, and started flicking them open. Returning his playful grin, she tossed her hair back. “So you do like it?”
---
That teasing kiss had him sitting up and literally reaching for more as she pulled away. Somehow she knew exactly how to drive him wild. "I like it a lot." He hooked his finger under one of the straps of the black lacy bra. He slid the strap aside and kissed the smooth flesh underneath.
"I like all of it." The way he was looking at her had lost any shyness or playfulness, it was pure desire. "You are so unbelievably beautiful." She'd made quick work of his buttons, and he slid off his shirt. Nothing like as slow or sexy as she'd removed her sweater, more like he couldn't move quickly enough to have his skin pressed against hers again.
---
That hot look in his eyes made her breath catch. She didn’t think that anyone had ever looked at her like that. It cut through whatever playful patience she had left. They rolled over together, the urgency and eagerness of their lips matched only by that of their wandering hands. All talk was replaced by quiet sounds of pleasure, and the occasional soft laugh. They only had a few hours, but in that time, they were completely lost in each other.
Lying with her head pillowed against his chest, Roxanne finally managed to catch her breath. She wanted to stay here like this for the next week or so, comfortable and content and wearing nothing but the necklace he’d given her. Even just the whole night would do, but she didn’t even have that. Honestly she had no idea what time it was. That probably wasn’t a good thing. Richard was already angry with her for spending so much time and money on Jordan yesterday. She didn’t care. Let him be angry. It would only make it easier for her to leave.
Stretching her legs, she let out a happy hum. “I think this is the best first date I’ve ever been on.”
---
"Definitely. This might be hard to top." He was perfectly content, his arm around her and her head resting on his chest. "Although I doubt that will stop us from trying."
He shifted ever so slightly, getting more comfortable. He wanted to fall asleep like this and wake up in the morning with her still beside him. He wanted her to be the last thing he saw before he fell asleep and the first thing he saw when he woke up. Unfortunately that wasn't likely to happen. Not yet. Soon.
---
She let out a low laugh, closing her eyes and taking a second to bask in the moment. “I don’t want to top this. It’s perfect.” It wouldn’t take much longer for her to fall asleep like this. She was worn out and entirely too cozy. Rolling over slightly, she leaned up enough to kiss him. It was almost time for her to go. Staying here all night wasn’t an option. If she just didn’t come home, Richard would lose his mind.
Her fingers traced the edge of his jaw. “I love you.” Her voice was barely over a whisper, but she knew that he could hear her. She said it like she was saying goodbye. Which she was, if only for a little while. As soon as she could manage, they would be able to do this whenever they wanted. No sneaking or hiding or lying. Eventually they could move in together, talk more about the rest of their future, about marriage and children. It painted a pretty picture for the days to come.
---
"I love you too." It didn't get any easier, watching her leave. He no longer worried that he wouldn't see her again, that this connection wouldn't last and hold them together even while they were apart, but that didn't change the thousand tiny heartaches of watching her go.
It was knowing where she was going that killed him. She would leave him and go back to another man. She'd return to Richard's home and crawl into his bed, where he would hold her and he would kiss her. Would she make love to him as well? That thought alone gripped his heart in a fist of jealous agony.
She said she was leaving Richard, and he believed her. Some tiny part of him doubted it though, each time they parted. Would she really upend her life for him? What did he have to offer a woman like her? What if she was lying to him, merely stringing him along for whatever reason? What if he was just a distraction to her? Something fleeting and ultimately unimportant?
Lucas didn't really believe any of those doubts, but they didn't go away completely. There wasn't anything he could do but have faith in her. She loved him, just as he loved her. Nothing else mattered.
It wasn't enough. He took her hand, gently kissing each finger, his desperation barely hidden as he said what he always seemed to say to her. "Don't go."
---
She smiled when his lips touched her fingers. Affection came easily between them. All the little touches and kisses they exchanged whenever they were within arms length of each other made her feel…treasured. They really couldn’t get enough of each other. She hoped this feeling would last. That he would never tire of her, or worse, realize that she was nothing like Satine and he’d been wrong about her the whole time. She was almost as afraid of that as she was of Richard’s reaction when she finally told him it was over.
“I don’t want to.” She hated disappointing him like this, but unless he wanted her to move in right then, there weren’t any other options. Richard would turn the city upside down looking for her if she didn’t return home. It was amazing she’d managed to find ways to lie to him when he kept such close tabs on where she was all the time. He wasn’t nearly as dense as the Duke had been, either. If anything, having the Duke only made him more paranoid.
Shifting, she pressed a kiss against his chest, right over his heart. “Est-ce que vous attendez pour moi juste un peu plus?”
---
"I know. I'm sorry." He knew she didn't want to go anymore than he wanted to see her leave. He didn't want to make this any harder on her, but he had to ask, every time. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't put away the hope that they could stay hidden away from the rest of the world, just the two of them, for as long as possible.
Maybe her kiss couldn't make all of the heartache go away, but it helped. He ran his fingers through her hair and lowered his head to place a kiss on her brow. "Bien sûr. Pour vous, mon cœur, je voudrais attendre toujours."
---
His words made her sigh. She knew that simple statement would be what kept her going until she could see him again. “Vous n'aurez pas à attendre tout ce temps.“ How could she? She loved him so much, every second apart was going to be agony. All she needed was a few days. Already she was making frantic plans. They would be together, damn the consequences. He was the most important thing in her life.
She slid a hand up the side of his neck, brushing her thumb across his cheek before she rolled away. The longer she stayed with him like this, the more she could feel her will to leave start to fade. If she was going to go, it had to be now, before she decided that curling up next to him and going to sleep was a good idea.
It was impossible for her to preserve the least bit of modesty as she stood. At least this time they’d managed to get all their clothes in the about the same area. “Is tomorrow too soon to see you again?”
---
Before he might have looked away, being polite. In her dressing room, he'd distracted himself with other things while she'd slipped behind a screen to change. This was different though, and there were no manners to mind. He wasn't ashamed of the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was gorgeous. "If you're asking me, there's no such thing as too soon."
He stood as well, retrieving just enough clothing to see her out. Tomorrow, he told himself. It didn't seem soon enough. He was dangerously addicted to her.
---
She dressed slowly, equal parts delighted and embarrassed that he was so openly watching her. It was things like that, the simple, wordless gestures, that touched her the most. He had a way of making her feel loved without even trying. The idea that she’d almost lost this because she’d been afraid made her all the more aware of how lucky she was.
“Then I’ll come to you.” Now that she knew where he was, there would be no staying away. They wouldn’t have long, not if she was going to keep Richard from being suspicious, but any time with him was better than no time at all.
Before she left, she kissed him thoroughly, wanting to hold on as long as she could to the way his lips felt against hers. Two steps out the door and she already missed him terribly. It wasn’t a very long cab ride home, but she had enough time to straighten out her rumpled hair and smooth some of the wrinkles out of her clothes. She could still smell him, still feel him.
She didn’t know how she would make it until tomorrow.