Lucas Valentine ♥ Christian (justtolove) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2011-02-20 03:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | lucas valentine, roxanne castillo |
Who: Lucas Valentine and Roxanne Castillo
What: Sneaking away to be together
When: Saturday and Sunday
Where: Hotel de Crillon, Paris
Warnings: Adult situations, "inspiration", insane word count (10,000+)
They couldn’t keep away from each other. Now that they knew the other was out there in the world, it would have taken an act of God to keep them apart. Tuesday night Lucas was at Happy Endings again. Their eyes met across the crowd, but afterwards he didn’t dare go backstage again. His sanity was already hanging by an unraveling thread, being alone with her would have destroyed him for sure.
The next day she contacted him over the boards. It was inevitable, they agreed to meet again, even if they couldn’t until Saturday. By then he was going crazy. At least the MTN made it possible to get away from the prying eyes of Chicago. Without thinking, he immediately suggested Paris. That was their home, in some ways, even if it wasn’t the same. He could spring for a swanky hotel. The truth was, he rarely had anyone to spend his money on and liked the idea of it.
This wasn’t a good idea. He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but he had to see her. He didn’t want to sneak around, but if that was the only choice, he’d do it. To see her again he would have done almost anything. He was pacing, his steps muffled by the hotel room’s thick carpeting. What if she didn’t show up? What if she did?
---
After she’d seen him Tuesday, seen but been unable to talk to, she couldn’t resist reaching out to him over the boards. It was the only way she knew to safely contact him, without anyone finding out. She’d been surprised when he’d responded. Surprised and relieved, especially after they’d agreed that they had to meet. They had to see each other again. She had to see him. It wouldn’t have mattered where, as long as they were together. A few short days apart had proved that there was no going back to her old life. He’d changed everything.
It wasn’t easy making an excuse that would get her out of the house for the entire night. She’d ended up calling Lexi on the sly to see if she would act as an alibi. Her friend had agreed, as long as she got the full story (complete with details) later. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d done something similar. Lexi didn’t do Girl Evenings. If she got dragged out with the other girl’s from the club, it ran way too late. Richard didn’t like being woken up in the middle of the night, so she would usually crash at Lexi’s. It was perfect.
She probably went overboard when she went through the MTN, what with the heavy scarf and sunglasses hiding her face from anyone who might be watching. This wasn’t her first time in Paris, but she couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the city. She wasn’t here to sightsee, though. Roxanne went straight to the hotel that he’d named. It took her a few seconds to work up the nerve to knock, though when she did it was nearly frantic. The conflict had been fading for days, replaced only be a need to see Lucas again.
---
The knock at the door startled him, even though he was expecting it. His heart was pounding. He was as nervous as he'd been the first time he saw her. This wasn't normal. This wasn't something he did. Yet here he was, in a Paris hotel. Unlike Monday night, now it might actually have been better if Christian had taken over. He was so much better at this sort of thing.
He opened the door eagerly, grinning at the sight of Roxanne in her disguise. He drew her into the room. "You came. I wasn't sure you really would." He playfully slid off the sunglasses concealing her lovely eyes. "That is you, right?"
---
“I couldn’t stay away.” She grinned shyly as he pulled her inside. This wasn’t like the last time, when they’d been in familiar territory. She didn’t know what was expected of her here. All she could do was take her cues from Satine, which made her a little uncomfortable. She had experience, but it was most, er, professional experience. Probably not the most helpful kind, in this situation.
Roxanne laughed, taking her glasses from him and tossing them in her bag. “Yes, it’s me.” She wondered if he would think any differently of her here, when she didn’t look a thing like Satine. No one could resist scantily clad women, after all. She reached up slowly and slid a hand behind his neck. Insecurities or no, she didn’t want to keep her hands off of him. “I missed you.”
---
She didn't look like Satine now, but she was still beautiful. More so than before, even. With the costume and the dressing room it was almost hard to believe she was real and not some figment of his imagination. Here she was real, honest, but somehow he was no less stunned by her.
"I missed you too." Already he had her in his arms again. It was like they couldn't be in the same room without touching, they were drawn together like magnets. "I've spent more time missing you than I've actually spent with you. That seems terribly unfair."
---
She was so happy to see him again that it was hard for her to keep the goofy grin off her face. Out of costume, she wasn’t nearly as smooth as Satine. It didn’t help that sneaking off to see Lucas had her feeling like a giddy schoolgirl. She wished they didn‘t have to sneak away to meet. In the back of her mind, she’d already started thinking up a plan to leave Richard. It was insane, but she knew she would only stay miserable if she couldn’t be with Lucas.
“It is unfair. I’m sorry.” She stepped away so that she could drop her bag and scarf on one of the chairs. “I’m sorry it has to be like this. You shouldn‘t have to come all the way to Paris just to spend time with me.” Smoothing her hands against the sides of her pants, she sighed. “I don’t know what we’re doing here, Lucas. But I’m glad you’re here.”
---
"I won't always have to come to Paris. There are other cities," he said slyly. Being here, out of the country in a strange place where no one knew him was making him bold. His friends would never believe a word of this, which was fine, because they'd never know. They could keep assuming that he had to be goaded into going out and that he wasn't answering his phone this weekend because he'd locked himself in his office with a case file. He smiled. The things they'd never know.
"I don't want to sneak around, but if that's what it takes to be with you, then that's what I'll do." He wanted to be upfront about that. He wasn't used to having to hide anything. He wasn't used to not playing by the rules. Although it wasn't all bad. "There is something sort of thrilling about having a secret though. Something that's ours alone."
He didn't know what they were doing here either. He had certain ideas, of course, but no clue how to actually get to that point. "Do you want a drink? I, um, got champagne. Apparently in an effort to be as completely cliche as possible..."
---
Roxanne blushed lightly at the implication that they would do this again. She’d been worried that he would have thought going through all this would be too much trouble just to see her. She would have done about anything to see him again, but she didn’t know if he felt the same. He was a constant pleasant surprise. She was almost afraid to get used to it.
He was already so good to her. She hardly knew what to say. “Some people wouldn’t think it was worth the effort.” She smiled, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. “Not only ours. I had to tell Lexi. She’s kind of covering for me. So that I could get out for, well, the whole night.” She felt exposed, putting it that way. There really were no guidelines about how your first affair was supposed to operate, and she was almost positive that’s what this was. Even if they didn’t do anything, she was still lying to Richard to see another man. It had to count.
She laughed, feeling slightly more relaxed. “I would love some. Besides, by this point, we’re kind of living a cliché.” Or just following in their reincarnates footsteps. If it wasn’t such a fantastic story, she might have had more of a problem with that.
---
He knew she was sneaking out for this night, that wasn't news to him, but the way she put it disturbed him. It didn't sound like she was in a relationship, it sounded like she was a prisoner. What could he tell her though? To leave? To run away with him instead? She barely knew him, and so far he was only getting her into trouble. Trying to ignore that unsettled feeling he tried to make light of it instead. "In that case, tell Lexi I said thanks for the help."
Lucas opened the champagne and poured them each a glass. He was trying to relax, but it was no use. Even the light way their hands brushed when he handed her a glass was enough to make his heart race. "We are. Maybe it’s unavoidable. Try not to laugh if I burst into song?"
---
“I will. If it weren’t for her, there’s no way I could have managed this.” As it was, she was going through a ridiculous amount of effort to cover her tracks. If Richard even suspected that she wasn’t with Lexi, there would be hell to pay. He was already irritated with her, had been all week. She’d been distant, distracted, inattentive, and he made sure that she knew it. Getting away was a welcome relief from his constant bickering and snide comments.
She sipped her champagne, moving over to take a seat on the side of the bed. “If you burst in to song, I’m assuming I’ll just join in.” Roxanne grinned at him, enjoying the mental picture that created. “You don‘t really strike me as the singing type, anyway.” She may not have known much about him, but she was starting to put some of the pieces together. All that mattered, to her anyway, was the way he treated her and the way he made her feel.
Rolling the stem of her glass between her fingers, she took a moment to actually look around the room. “Although you do seem the type to show a girl a good time.”
---
"I certainly never used to be the singing type." He laughed, at least she'd figured out that much about him. "But after this past week, I'm not sure what type I am." Not much would surprise him at this point.
He couldn't think of a response to her comment at first. He hadn't thought they were going to be quite that direct yet. Then he realized she probably meant the room. "Well, yeah." He wasn't sure if he should feel smug about that or if he should feel silly for going so over the top. No one had ever explained how you were supposed to do this sort of clandestine affair and there wasn't exactly anyone he could ask. "I thought if we were doing this, we may as well do it right."
He sat down next to her on the bed. "It seems like we should have some sort of toast."
---
She was torn between feeling awkward and practically drowning in anticipation. Getting the wrong idea seemed entirely too easy, although she was also worried about how she would handle it if she had the right idea. It had been years since she’d been with anyone other than Richard, and a few of his scathing remarks echoed around her head. Really, she ought to have known better than to come here and embarrass herself like this. If she hadn’t already, she certainly would.
Taking a deep breath, she focused on him again. “It’s lovely. I don’t think it would have been possible to do it better.” That was supposed to be a compliment, even if it did come out a little odd. There was no denying that she was bad at this without Satine’s help. And Satine wasn’t helping. She’d made it clear that she thought Roxanne deserved a chance to fall in love on her own. Which was nice of her, but she felt like she was flubbing it completely.
She smiled, shifting to that she was facing him. “What are we toasting to?”
---
Christian was encouraging, but the truth was he was very little help. Unless Lucas actually did want to start singing all of a sudden, and he'd prefer to avoid that. The best he could come up with on his own was to try to treat this like a normal date, even if it was far from normal. Maybe that wasn't the best plan either though. His normal dates never went that well.
The toast, at least, was obvious. He grinned, raising his glass. "To beauty. Truth. Freedom. And love." But mostly love.
---
She could only stare at him for a few seconds before she laughed happily. It was such an obvious toast that she shouldn‘t have been surprised. It was a whole new experience for her, talking to someone from her own source material that she had pleasant memories with. She loved Lexi, but Nini and Satine had never exactly been bosom friends. Christian, though…he was something special.
“That’s a very clever toast.” She tapped her glass against his before taking a drink. Their lives seemed to be going in the same little circles as their reincarnates had, so why not toast to it. Other than that, the two of them had plenty to drink to. She didn’t think she’d been this content in the company of a man in a long time.
Roxanne leaned comfortably against the headboard, still facing Lucas. “I don’t think I have enough of any of those in my life.” It was an odd confession, one of those things that she could only admit to someone like him.
---
He drank. Possibly more quickly than people usually did with champagne, but he was still nervous. "Thanks, but I can't claim the credit for coming up with it." He laughed lightly. It did have the effect of breaking the ice. This was what they had in common, what had drawn them together.
Her confession was oddly sad. Maybe because he could have said the same, or maybe because she seemed like her life should have been full of those things, if there was any justice in the world. "I don't either. I thought I'd come to terms with not needing them in my life anymore, but it's not much of a way to live."
He realized he was staring at her again. It was hard to say if the longing he felt was for Roxanne or Satine, or for some part of himself he'd forgotten that was suddenly coming back to life. He looked away, slightly embarrassed. "I think Christian despairs of me sometimes. He'd have been better off coming back in some artistic soul with an exciting life."
---
“No, it’s not.” She took another drink, needing the extra boost of courage. It was funny, she hadn’t really realized what was missing from her life until she’d invited Lucas backstage. Maybe that was the way it was meant to happen. She’d never been a very big believer in fate or whatever, but it was starting to get hard to deny. If there was such a thing as fate, it was about time it started to turn in her favor.
“I think Satine does the same.” Her head tilted back as she laughed, obviously more relaxed than she had been before. “She should have been someone more, I don’t know, glamorous and passionate.” They got on well enough, but sometimes she felt bad for Satine. She deserved something better. They both did. “Your life is a little exciting, you know. After all, you’re in a hotel room in Paris with a glorified burlesque dancer. There’s some intrigue in that.”
--
"Yet here they are stuck with us." He set his glass down on the table, a thoughtful expression on his face. He wouldn't have thought they had anything in common outside of their reincarnates when he first met Roxanne. She'd seemed so perfect and haughty and unobtainable, holding the crowd in the palm of her hand when she was on stage and leading him back to her dressing room like a queen granting an audience. Thinking that maybe she felt a little outdone by her reincarnate as well was somehow both comforting and endearing.
"I do have that going for me." He couldn't resist touching her again, his hand resting gently on her arm. "You seem pretty glamorous to me, a starlet being swept off to Paris for a secret meeting with a mysterious man."
---
She sat her glass down next to his. It was almost empty anyway, and the champagne had started to go to her head. She didn’t drink enough to gain any kind of tolerance for it, so it didn’t take much to make her feel fuzzy. There was always that chance that it would make her feel just as angry and bitter as it had her father, and she didn’t want to risk it. Right now, though, it only made her feel more bright and giddy than she had before.
“It would make a good story.” Roxanne covered his hand with hers, lacing their fingers together. Every time he touched her it was just as exhilarating as the first. It made her heart jump and her knees go a little weak in a way that suggested she might never get used to it. She was okay with that. Laughing, she tugged at his hand, holding it between both of hers. “A starlet? I’m flattered.” She wasn’t even close. Nor did she want to be, especially. She liked what she did, but that had never been her goal. “But you’re right. We’re making each other’s lives more interesting already.”
---
"We are." That already implied more to come, although he tried not to get his hopes too high. Even if they just had this one night, his life would never be the same. "Starlet is accurate. You should see yourself on stage. I was almost scared to meet you." He leaned in to kiss her, quick and soft, almost tentative. "I'm glad I did though."
His life was more than just more interesting. He couldn't explain it, but everything was better when he was with her, and when he wasn't even the ache of missing her was somehow sweet. Before he'd been numb to everything and meeting her had woken him up. "Roxanne, I've known you for six days and you've changed my life. Tell me that this real, that I haven't lost my mind."
---
“I think that might be the best compliment anyone has ever given me.” She was still smiling when his lips brushed against hers. The jolt went through her whole system, leaving every inch of her pleasantly tingly. She couldn’t help but think that if just kissing him did that to her, anything beyond that would probably leave her delightfully paralyzed. “I’m glad you did, too.”
She rested her fingers against his cheek, looking at him in a way that should have left no doubt that she was already madly in love with him. “You changed mine the first time you touched me.” She thought maybe that was when she’d started the impossible fall for him. Or maybe it was before that, the first time she’d seen him, when his eyes had met hers. It was an insanely romantic notion. “You haven’t lost your mind. It’s real. It has to be. It’s too wonderful not to be.” Lifting his hand to her lips, she planted a light kiss there. “Beauty, truth, freedom, and love. In six days, you’ve made all of those seem possible for me. If this isn‘t real, I don‘t know what is.”
---
Whether it was real or not, she felt the same way. That had to mean something, and if he was going crazy, they were going crazy together. She made him want to go crazy maybe, to lose himself and become something new.
He traced her lower lip with the tip of his finger. "Roxanne." He didn't know what he was saying. He didn't know what he wanted, not exactly. He just knew he needed her. "Roxanne, stay with me." He slid his hand behind her neck and kissed her again, a fiercer kiss than the last, as if it could say all the things he couldn't find the words for. "I need you."
---
“I will. I’m not going anywhere.” That may have been a promise that she could only keep for one night, but it was the best she could do. Anything beyond that felt like the distant future. All they had for sure was tonight. Beyond that, there were no guarantees. She wanted to make the most of it.
The kiss took her breath away. This was what she wanted. What she needed. It didn’t matter if they were practically strangers. They were exactly what the other needed to be complete. “I’m yours.” It was another promise that she shouldn’t have been able to make. Yet she meant it. No matter what world they were in, they belonged together. It was impossible to fight, even if she had wanted to try. Maybe these feelings were all Satine’s, but it didn’t matter. She felt them too, and they were far more wonderful than anything else she’d ever experienced.
---
That kiss led to another and another. He couldn't get enough of her. Her words thrilled him, even though he knew she only meant for tonight. That should have been enough, but it wasn't. Already he wanted more. He wanted forever. He wanted this feeling to last forever.
"I could give you everything." His voice was barely more than a whisper. Some part of him knew he was being irrational, but he didn't care. He was already afraid of losing her. Finding love only to lose it again, finding her, only to lose her again, he didn't know if he'd survive that. "You don't have to be afraid of him. You wouldn't have to be afraid of anything, Roxanne. Let me take care of you. Let me take you away."
---
His quiet words made her breath hitch. “Oh, Lucas.” He was wrong. She had plenty to be afraid of. The way he made her feel, so suddenly and so powerfully, terrified just as much as it thrilled her. He offered more than she could have ever dreamed. She may have changed his life, but the last thing she wanted to do was ruin it. She didn’t want to be a mistake or an inconvenience. She never wanted him to regret knowing her.
“I can’t ask you to do that.” She framed his face with her hands, pulling him to her for another kiss. “It’s too much. I know he loves her, and he would do anything for that. But I’m not her, not really. Not in a way that counts.”
---
"He does, and he always will." It was nearly impossible for him to separate Christian's feelings from his own at this point, but he tried. He turned his face away, kissing the palm of her hand. He couldn't look into her eyes and maintain any sort of rational thought. She was right. Of course she was right. "Of course. I understand." He took a long breath, telling himself that his heart wasn't breaking, he was just letting his reincarnate run away with him.
"I'm not him either." He took both her hands in his. "It's not just them though. I don't believe it's only them. Even if we give them their moments." He knew what it felt like to be falling in love. He couldn't blame this feeling on anyone but himself.
---
“I’m sorry.” He looked so disappointed. She was worried that she’d upset him. One misstep might bring this whole thing crashing down around her ears. If that happened, she didn’t know how she would recover. If she ruined things with Lucas because she was too stupid to say the right thing, she would never forgive herself.
Roxanne didn’t know if they were both getting their own feelings mixed up with their reincarnates, but at least they felt the same way. The similarities between Lucas and Christian were what had first gotten her attention. The more time she spent with him though, the more she enjoyed the little differences, the things that were all Lucas. Like the way he straightened his tie when he was nervous, or how his eyes followed her across a room. The way he blushed when he was embarrassed, or the way he breathed her name.
God, she was smitten.
Taking a deep breath, she smiled, slightly more sure of herself. “So is this one of their moments, or one of ours?”
---
"Don't be sorry." He was glad one of them was being slightly sane. He didn't trust himself not to rush this, not to overwhelm her and scare her away. This is what he got for avoiding any sort of romantic entanglements for years. Now that he actually wanted to be entangled maybe he'd forgotten how. If he ruined this because he let his heart runaway with his head he'd feel like a world class idiot.
He was completely bewitched by her smile. It lit up her whole face and it was impossible not to smile too. "Let's make this one of ours. They had their turn."
---
“Then it’s ours.” She pulled him closer, giving him a slow kiss. She was still being careful with him, though she wasn’t nearly as hesitant as she’d been before. Part of her knew that what they were doing was wrong. Otherwise they wouldn’t have to be sneaking around. It didn’t matter, though. Not enough to stop her. She’d figure something out, so that they could start doing this the right way. There was nothing she wanted to be with as much as Lucas.
Roxanne ran her hands down his shoulders. “I’m glad you found me, Lucas. You’ve already given me everything.”
---
Whatever this was, and for however long it lasted, he was going to enjoy it. Overthinking it would ruin it, while not thinking about anything but the moment was an increasingly appealing option.
Even the innocent touch of her hands on his shoulders set his blood racing. He didn't think he'd ever wanted someone this badly. "Mhm, not yet, but we really should work on that..."
---
She turned a light shade of red again, but she also laughed. He was such a mystery to her. Not very long ago he’d been stammering at her over champagne. Now he was being what she was pretty sure was suggestive. It had been a long time since she’d had to flirt with someone new. Normally Satine would help, but her other half was content to let her make her own mistakes. Of course she would clam up the moment Roxanne needed her advice.
Completely on her own, she did what felt natural. Wrapping her hands behind his neck, she tugged him down over her on the bed. There was more that she wanted to tell him, but she didn’t think either of them were ready for it. Instead, she guided her lips to his. The kiss was soft, as were her eager hands as they moved down his back. “How’s this for a start?”
---
Lucas wasn't sure if his attempts at flirting and suggesting would work at all, but he was hoping. It was kind of hit or miss, and Christian's advice wasn't much help, since most of it involved either singing or variations of 'just go for it'. There was no way he was resorting to song yet, and just going for it was easier said than done.
"That's a very good start." She seemed to know exactly what she was doing. That was a definite plus, although the fact that she had a courtesan of some renown for a reincarnate gave him a moment's pause. He was trying to be bold, but he was still more than a little nervous. "It's been... awhile since I've done this."
---
Laughing quietly, she moved her hands around, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. Her fingers were shaking, from both nerves and anticipation. She wanted to be with him. Only him. For tonight, she could pretend it was just the two of them, and they had all the time in the world. That made her want to take things slow, even though she knew it wasn’t true. They didn’t have nearly enough time.
“That’s okay.” She had it on good authority that she was ‘unimaginative’ anyway, so it was probably for the best that he hadn’t done it in a while. That wasn’t something she wanted to think about, though. Lucas didn’t make her feel embarrassed by who she was or anything she did. Roxanne grinned against the side of his neck. “Still remember where everything goes?”
---
As they continued with eager kisses and caresses he slipped his hands beneath the hem of her blouse, his fingers sliding over her smooth skin. She was incredibly good at putting him at ease, knowing exactly what to say.
"I'm sure I'll figure it out." He laughed. "If not, I take instruction well," he added, carrying on the joke and teasing, just a little. He wasn't really worried about that. It hadn't been that long. He didn't want to disappoint her in any way though. Not that he was at all disappointing, or at least he didn't think so, he'd never gotten any complaints, but they did have an awful lot to live up to.
---
“I don’t know how much help I’ll be.” She shifted, lifting one of her knees suggestively. Having Satine’s memories really helped. Normally she would have been a lot more nervous than she already was, but this was Christian. Those memories made everything seem more…promising. They’d ended up in Paris and everything. Somehow being here felt even more right. It may not have been the Paris they remembered, but it was miles from what they knew in this life. It was the perfect place to escape. So far, this whole night was perfect.
After a few fumbles she managed to get his shirt open, her hands exploring as she pressed quick kisses along his jaw. “When Satine first showed up, I used to dream about what it would be like to find you.” She leaned back in to the pillows so she could look at him. “I’ve been waiting for this for years. For you.”
---
Help or no, she was certainly... inspiring. Whether she realized it or not, he was hanging on her every word, every gesture, every touch. What she said might have only increased the pressure, the expectations on this, but somehow it didn't. It was reassuring. This was meant to be. This was right. "We don't have to wait anymore."
He kissed her neck, then down to her chest, beginning to unbutton her shirt with hands that were more steady and sure than his voice was. "Since I got Christian I haven't stopped thinking about you, but I never dared to hope that I might actually find you. Getting another chance, it seemed too good to be true." She was almost too good to be real. His imagination couldn't have conjuring a more beautiful, sweeter woman.
---
She was relieved that they didn’t have to wait. She’d been waiting for someone like him for her entire life. That was more than long enough. She wanted to be everything to him that he was to her. Somehow, she would find a way to make that possible. It might destroy everything that she’d made for herself so far, but it would be worth it. She didn’t have any doubt about that.
Roxanne gasped, her fingers kneading against the back of his neck. He was so tender, so loving. “We’ll do it right this time. We won’t waste it.” Even if she wouldn’t let him run off with her, she couldn’t not be with him. They would find a way to make it work.
---
"You are too good to be true." He smiled and kissed her again. He slid her blouse from her shoulders, touching her skin as it was unveiled with almost unbearable tenderness. They wouldn't waste this opportunity, or any more time. Time which seemed to stretch and flow as they discovered each other as they were now and as the lovers they had been relearned each other. Even if it was just one night, it was enough. He couldn't have asked for more.
It was quite awhile later that they finally allowed the real world to intrude on them again, if only for long enough to order some food sent to their room - chocolate, strawberries, and whatever other decadence the opulent French hotel could provide. If they were being cliche, they may as well do it right. The image of easy elegance was only slightly marred by Luc's somewhat frantic search for his pants so that he could actually go open the door. How had they gotten all the way over there?
---
Roxanne sprawled across the bed, enjoying the view while Lucas searched for his pants. She’d seen exactly where they went, but she was having a great time just watching him. He was absolutely perfect. Everything about him appealed to her. She smiled slowly when he opened the door, delighted by his French. He was all hers now, and she was his. She never wanted to lose this.
Leaning over, she scooped up his shirt, barely resisting the urge to get up and straighten up the other clothing that they’d scattered across the room. She was too relaxed, too comfortable. And way too exposed. Sliding in to his shirt (hers had ended up several feet away), she looked up at him with a content grin. “We might need more champagne.”
---
"Uhmg..." His French might have been flawless at the door, but coming back to the bed Roxanne looked so impossibly sexy lounging there in his dress shirt that he struggled to find words in any language at all for a moment. "Yes. Right. Champagne. We might." If she put all of those together they probably added up to a sentence.
"Fortunately we have a bottle left, so we don't have to have any more interruptions." He couldn't keep the grin off his face. They were really here. They were really together. This was only the beginning.
---
Her head fell back with a laugh when he choked on his words. She felt a little smug that she was able to render him speechless. Just the way he looked at her made her feel beautiful, even though it made her heart turn over. She shouldn’t have felt like this about someone she barely knew, but it was all too good to pass up. She wanted to feel like this forever.
“So I get you to myself for the rest of the night?” She liked the sound of that. Scooting over to the edge of the bed, she looked over the cart of treats that they’d ordered in case they got hungry for something other than each other. After a moment, she selected a strawberry. “I’ve never done anything like this. It’s so…decadent.’
--
He stretched out on the bed next to her. "I'm all yours." For the rest of the night and from now on. If she had any idea how hopelessly in love with her he already was she probably would have laughed at him. He would do anything for her.
"I never have either," he admitted. "Not quite. I've never had a reason to." Even his honeymoon hadn't been anything like this. Even if their families had money they'd still been students, and Laurie had been more about adventure than luxury. It felt strange to suddenly think of her, here in this setting. He didn't feel guilty though. Strangely, he found himself thinking that she probably would have liked Roxanne. They had the same kind smile and the same good heart. Still, he put it out of his mind. He was determined to live in the moment, not dwell on the past or worry about the future. Not right now.
"It feels right. And long overdue."
---
She leaned automatically against him, wanting to be as close as possible for as long as possible. Time seemed to be standing still for the two of them. Like they could stay in this hotel room for years and when they went back out in to the world, nothing would have changed. It was a nice thought, even if she knew it wasn’t true. Come morning, she would have to go home, and have to find some way to lie to Richard.
“Really?” She liked that they were sharing a first experience together. It made it that much more special. She didn’t care where they were, he would have made her happier than she could ever remember being in a fifty dollar room with a bag of gummy bears, but she couldn’t deny that the atmosphere added something extra.
Her lips curved in to a smile as she offered him a bite of her strawberry. “I don’t know how we’ll manage to do better than this.”
---
"I don't know. Seems to me things are getting better every moment." He took the bite of fruit, his lips finding her fingers when he did so, not unintentionally.
He turned, looking up at her dreamily. He wasn't fully convinced that this wasn't a dream still. "Tell me something about yourself, Roxanne. Who are you?"
---
She sighed when his lips brushed her fingers. It didn’t matter that they’d just been with each other. She already wanted him again. She didn’t think she would ever stop wanting him. All she wanted to do was lean over and nibble on him. Instead, she grabbed another piece of fruit. She didn’t want him to think less of her for being too overeager.
“I’m not very interesting.” Looking down, she shrugged. There had to be something good about herself that she could tell him. She had to think about it for a moment, though. They all seemed to be buried deep. “I don’t know what to tell you. I grew up a few hours outside Chicago. Most nights a week, I sing and dance at the club.” Was she really that boring? She almost felt embarrassed telling him about herself. If it wasn’t for Satine, he probably wouldn’t be interested at all. “Sorry. There’s not much to tell.”
---
He couldn't have said what it was he wanted to know. He was just hoping to get to know her better, to know anything about her. It was a start. "I guess neither of us ended up far from home then. All this time we've been in the same area, out of all the world." He wondered if they'd ever passed each other in the street over the years, but no, he was sure he would have noticed her. No matter what.
"I grew up in Chicago. If I hadn't come back after school there probably would have been a family revolt, or my father would have just dragged me back. Not that I mind. It's always been home, and I'm not really that adventurous." He wondered if he could have possibly found a way to make himself sound less interesting. He was going to have to do better at this.
---
“Chicago’s a big place. I’m lucky you came in to the club at all.” She could guess why they’d never met before. It didn’t take much to see that they moved in different circles. He was so classy and polite and well spoken. He’d sprung for a room at what had to be the nicest hotel in Paris. She had no business being here with him, outside their reincarnates. A small wave of panic hit when she wondered how long it would take him to figure that out.
“I had to stay close for school. I didn’t really have the, um, means to go much further.” She blushed at that. Her other half might have had the skill to lie, to make men believe that she could be anybody, but Roxy didn’t think she could ever pass for anything other than what she was. It was a miracle she’d fooled him for this long. “I always wanted to go somewhere else, though. Somewhere new. What about you? Where’d you go?”
---
"It is, but even in the city there aren't that many reincarnates, and no one like you." It probably sounded like a line, but he meant it honestly. He'd never met anyone quite like her. She was so genuine, just herself with no ploys, no agenda. Of course, he was incredibly biased in that opinion, having only known her like this. Christian thought the same thing about Satine, when they were alone together. No matter how skilled an actress she was, he'd seen the real her, the woman behind all the act.
Lucas was actually kind of surprised that she'd had to do much schooling at all. She had such command on the stage, he'd sort of assumed she'd always been a performer or a dancer. Someone other people would watch and envy. "I went to New Jersey and Connecticut. It's... I liked both places well enough, but even if places change the people are all the same. Most of them, anyway."
---
She shook her head. “I’m nothing special.” Someone like him would have had to meet people far more interesting. People with actual culture and skills beyond flaunting themselves on stage. She’d always wanted to be someone like that. Things just hadn’t gone that way for her. Now she wished they had, if only so she could be even close to good enough for him.
“I hadn’t thought about it that way. I’ve never spent much time outside Chicago.” She sighed, rolling over on to her stomach. It had been a long time since she’d done this, just laid around talking. It was nice, even if she was brimming with nerves and embarrassment. So far, though, he’d shown no judgment. She liked that about him. No matter what she said he never made her feel stupid or ridiculous.
Which was the only reason why she kept talking. “I always wanted to, though. I wanted to go to a fancy school and get a degree and do something important with my life. Things just…didn’t happen that way.” She looked at him with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. This is probably about to bore you to tears.”
---
"You can say that, but I don't think it's true." She was certainly special to him, and he could already list so many ways she was amazing. The top of that list would be the way she made him feel. It was so easy talking to her. She seemed to understand him without arguing or explaining or searching for hidden meanings. They could just be themselves.
"Not at all. Trust, I know boring. You're not boring. Besides, you probably get more interesting stories out of a week at the club than I did in years of fancy schools. I did learn to take myself very seriously though." He attempted to give her a very serious look, but the soft smile broke through no matter what. He was entirely too happy right now. "What would you do? If you didn't work at Happy Endings, if you could do anything in the world?"
---
She laughed at his attempt to look serious. “I can tell.” He managed to relax her again, just like that. She couldn’t help but kiss him when he smiled like that. No matter what she might have been thinking, there was no denying the attraction between them. She thought she would have been drawn to him with or without Satine. That might not have gone both ways, but after the last few hours, she couldn’t blame all of her feelings on her reincarnate anymore.
Sighing, she rolled over on to her stomach. “I don’t know. Something that actually made a difference. I was studying psychology. I wanted to know why people do what they do. That was a long time ago, though.” She hadn’t really thought about it, not since she quit school. It seemed so impossible now. She grinned up at him. “Maybe just singing for someone other than drunk reincarnates would be good, too. It would make Satine happy.”
---
"Mhm, I don't know how to have any fun at all," he joked, his smile only getting wider when she kissed him like that. Everything about her just made him happy.
"If you ever do figure out why people do what they do, be sure to tell me. I've always wondered." That had sounded cleverer in his head, but he went with it. Hopefully she could make some sense of what he meant out of it. "I bet that would make her happy. She should have been a star. Seems like you've got the hard part down though. It takes guts to get up on a stage, in front of drunk reincarnates or anyone else. I don't think I could do that."
---
She doubted she would be finding out anything of the sort, but she still grinned at him. Every time she said something to him, she expected some kind of judgment. Instead, she got nothing but understanding. It was a constant surprise. She must have done something right to have him walk in to her life. He was everything she ever could have wanted.
“I couldn’t do it without her. I was always kind of shy.” Said the woman lying around in little more than a shirt next to a man she had barely known a week. Satine really did have too much influence over her. She didn’t mind. It made her life more interesting. “What about you? I doubt I could argue with people for a living. That can’t be easy.”
---
"It's not so much arguing as... okay, it's arguing." He didn't really think about it that way, but it's true that was what he did. "It's not easy, but it's always for a good cause? It helps that I get to prepare everything, and that Christian has a way with words. I was so tongue-tied for my first case that he was worried he'd have had to take over completely if I didn't get over it. Fortunately I got a lot better after that."
Lucas never thought he had that much influence in his life, but maybe he wasn't giving the writer his due. This week was certainly proving just how much influence he could have, and how well that could work out. "They are sort of useful, our other halves."
---
She listened intently, her head tilted slightly to one side. Before Luc, her experience with lawyers had been…well, terrible. She’d ended up getting completely railroaded by the man she’d hired during the custody battle. He’d charged her outrageously and they’d still lost the case. So much for him being the best in the city. But then, she’d barely been twenty at the time and totally naïve. No wonder she’d gotten taken for a ride.
“They are. I don’t know what I would do without Satine. I’d probably still be waiting tables. Even if I could kind of sing before, it’s nothing like what she helps me do. She’s just so bold.” She ran a hand up his chest with a playful smile. “What about you? Christian wasn’t as much of a performer, but he still had a hell of a voice.”
---
He didn't know where he'd be with Christian either. Certainly not here, and that would just be sad. He wouldn't be at all musical either, but that had come with the reincarnate package. The music occasionally in his mind had been there for so long now he didn't even thing it was strange anymore.
"I didn't sing at all before, but I do a little now." He blushed a little again. She really did have a frightening effect on him. "His talent is definitely wasted on me though. I'm not much of a performer either. The only people who've ever heard me are people who've accidentally walked in on me when I've been distracted. Well, and there was the office Christmas party, but that was just embarrassing."
---
He was so cute when he did that. She just wanted to slide up against him and cuddle. Instead, she shifted on to her side, tugging the shirt so that it covered any important bits that had been exposed in the move. “I don’t know if I believe you.” She smiled, amused that she’d worked up the nerve again to tease him. If she didn’t think about anything else and just focused on the two of them as they were now she was incredibly relaxed. Just being with him was soothing.
“You’ve heard me sing. I think it’s only fair that I get to hear you.”
---
"Okay, okay. But only in the interest of fairness." He grinned and propped himself up on his elbows. He couldn't believe her was really going to do this. "No laughing."
Looking at her it was actually easier to think of what to sing. His voice was a pleasant tenor. Not Christian's voice, not exactly, but still sweet and true. "Hope you don't mind... I hope you don't mind... That I put down in words..." It started very soft, but got stronger as he went on. "How wonderful life is now you're in the world."
---
“No laughing, promise.” She pressed a finger to her smiling mouth, just to prove it. There was no way she was going to laugh. She spent so much time around people who sang almost as much as they breathed that she’d heard the good and the bad and applauded them all. Except Richard, of course. He never sang, and didn’t like her to around the house. He said it gave him a headache. At least she could get it out of her system at work.
Her eyes lit up when he started to sing, the delighted smile dropping in to something softer. “His talent wasn’t wasted. You’re wonderful.” She scooted closer and kissed him deeply. It hadn’t occurred to her that hearing him like that, so much like Christian, would stir her so powerfully. But it had. There was no way she could keep her hands off him now.
---
He wasn't sure if he was proud or embarrassed when he was done, but the look on her face made up his mind. She'd liked it, and that was enough. "Having the right inspiration makes all the difference." He returned her kiss enthusiastically, and at the same time Christian was kissing Satine. Being with her, singing those words, had brought up so many memories. All he wanted was to hold her and kiss her and make love to her.
---
It was a good thing they hadn’t bothered to get dressed again, considering the way things were going. She had absolutely no problem with that. They only had one night. She wanted to make the most of that.
She laughed quietly, her head falling back as she shifted as close as she could. One hand rand down his chest, and down and down. She ran a line of playful kisses down his jaw. “Does that inspire you?” It wasn’t her usual approach, but she couldn’t help herself. Even Satine was amused, her pretty laughter ringing through Roxanne’s head.
---
Lucas gasped and caught his breath. "Very inspired." Maybe he should sing more often if this was the outcome. Then he laughed, until he laughed no longer, but tumbled her over with keen desire. "Come here."
Anything else was going to be ignored awhile longer. They only had this one night. There wasn’t any time to waste.
---
Their laughter turned in to breathless gasps. After awhile, even those faded. Even if they wanted to spend the entire night together, they’d exhausted themselves. The rest of their brief time was spent curled up together on the large bed. It was the best night’s sleep she could remember getting in a long time.
Morning (or the Chicago time equivalent of morning) came entirely too soon. Roxanne rolled over, smiling happily when she saw just whose arms she was wrapped in. It was bittersweet, though. She had to go soon, she knew that. They’d had their time together, now it was back to reality. Her lips found his briefly before she eased herself away, trying to find out where her clothes had landed the night before.
---
Lucas awoke more content than he could ever remember feeling. He couldn't have said what time it was, here or anywhere else, when Roxanne kissed him and slid from his arms. He knew she had to leave, but it seemed much too soon. They'd only just found each other. She made him greedy. He couldn't pretend to fully understand her reasons, but he knew she had to go. Still, all he wanted was for her to stay with him forever. If parting on Monday had almost broken his heart, doing it again, after they'd gotten so much closer, would be unbearable.
"Roxanne..." He watched her for a moment before getting out of bed himself. The hunt for clothes was slightly easier this time, but maybe he was just getting practiced at it. "You have to leave?" It wasn't really a question, but he said it like it was anyway.
---
She turned toward him with a sad smile when he said her name. The last thing she wanted was to leave. Just thinking about not seeing him again tonight made her heart drop. It would be so easy to climb back in to bed and stay. But there were things she needed to take care of first. This wouldn’t be the last time she saw him. It couldn’t be. That would destroy her.
“You know I do.” She wanted to go to him, to touch him again, but she didn’t know if she would be able to go if she did. “I’m sorry.” Bending down, she picked up her shirt, shaking it out. It was wrinkled after spending the night on the floor. “I’ll come back to you. I promise.”
---
"I know. I believe you." Don't go back to him. He bit back the words. They weren't him, not really. Although they may as well have been now.
He pulled on his shirt, leaving it open for the moment. He smiled bitterly. It smelled like her, and he had a very vivid mental image of her wearing it the night before, smiling and laughing. He didn't just want to see her more, he wanted to see her like that more, happy and carefree. "If you didn't, I'd just have to find you again. They're going to start recognizing me at the club at this rate."
---
He had so much faith in her. There was no way she could have ever made herself break a promise to him. Something about Lucas, about the way he was with her, made her want to be a better person. She desperately wanted him to love her, to make him feel the same way he made her feel.
“Any time you want to stop by, I can let the bouncers know you’re coming.” Richard rarely came to see her, and no one at the club would ask any questions. Well, no one that she wouldn’t be willing to answer them for, anyway.
She crossed the room, unable to make herself stay away when they had so little time left. Her hands rested lightly on his arms. “When will I see you again?”
---
"Any time you want?" He was only half joking. No matter what he was doing, if she asked he'd be there. "Tuesday? I promise to actually stay after the show this time." It was only two days from now, but it didn't seem nearly soon enough. He had plans the next day though that might actually be hard to get out of. Any sooner might be suspicious in any case. Even if he didn't like sneaking around, he didn't want her getting into any trouble.
His hands rested gently on her waist. They fit together so well, like they'd known each other forever, and anytime she was in arms reach he couldn't resist touching her.
---
She nodded. “Tuesday. I’ll meet you backstage.” She’d never been happier that Richard didn’t spend much time at the club. Two days. She could make it two days. She would have to. Somehow. The worst part would be going home with just her memories. She was worried that he would disappear, that this all had been some fantastic dream.
Sighing, she circled her arms around his neck, resting her head against his shoulder. At this rate she was never going to get out of here, but she couldn’t make herself step away from him. “I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about you. And every time I do, I’ll have to tell myself that this was real.”
---
"I'll be there." Having the meeting arranged made this slightly easier. Not much, but enough. At least he didn't have to wonder if he'd ever see her again. He could just count the seconds until they could be together again.
He held her closer, savoring these last moments, dreading the moment he'd have to let her go. "It feels like a dream, but it's all real. I promise it's all real." He kissed the top of her head. He wished there was something they could hold on to, or something he could give her that wouldn't be instantly suspicious. "It's just like before. Whatever happens, just think of me. Think of our song, and know that I'm there, somewhere, very real, and I'm thinking of you too, because I will be. Every moment until we see each other again."
---
She took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut. It didn’t do any good. There were still a few stubborn tears that leaked out of the corners. She hadn’t known that she could feel like this. The idea of losing him caused her so much pain that she could hardly breathe. She entertained a brief daydream of just not going home, of staying with Luc. It would never work, though. He didn’t know what he was getting in to with her, not really.
“I will. I’ll know. I miss you already.” Her voice shook, but her hands were steady as she drew her arms back. She wanted to give him something to remember her by, something he could look at and know that she was thinking about him. She tugged the ring off her thumb. It was silver filigree, the first nice piece of jewelry she’d ever owned. In a lot of ways, it was a symbol of her own freedom. Now, she slid it in to his hand. “I want you to have this. It’s silly, I know, but I just…every time I notice it’s not there, I’ll know you have it.”
---
He swallowed hard, forcing back a wave of emotion. He still wanted to beg her not to go, but he wasn't going to make this any harder on her than it obviously was.
"It's not silly." The ring was beautiful and delicate but also strong and unique. It suited her. He closed his fingers around it, clutching it like a life-line, holding onto it like he wanted to hold on to her. "It's perfect. Now I'll know you aren't just some wonderful dream I had. Until I get to see you again." With his empty hand he brushed a stray tear off her cheek.
---
His touch didn’t do much to stop tears from spilling over. “It won’t be soon enough.” She stepped forward one last time, laying her lips gently against his. She wanted to remember everything about him. How it felt to kiss him, to touch him, to move under him. Every detail was important. It was what would keep her going until she could do it all again.
When she finally stepped away, she automatically turned to finish gathering up her things. She had to go, and soon. Otherwise Richard would call, and she didn’t know if she had it in her to lie while Lucas was still standing right there.
---
That gentle kiss was an exquisite torment, knowing she was about to leave him. When she stepped back he just watched her, trying to memorize everything about her. Her face, her body, the way she moved. He wanted to be able to remember all of it perfectly.
"You should go." He smiled sadly. At least he was holding it together marginally better than the man in his head. It was a struggle though, and Christian's input wasn't helping. "I can't promise I'm not going to be jealous."
---
She felt a quick sting of hurt even though she knew he was right. It was time. They shouldn’t drag this out any longer than they had to. Shouldering her bag, she stretched her hand out to brush her fingers over the back of his. She was afraid if she got any closer, she wouldn’t leave at all. She would see him Tuesday. They would be together again.
“Don’t be.” Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She didn’t know how to make him understand that after last night she would never belong to anyone but him. “You have nothing to be jealous of. You’re the best thing that could have happened to me, Lucas.”
---
There were so many things he wanted to say. That he was already in love with her. That her leaving was slowly killing him. He held himself back though. It all felt like a dream, and it could be that it was just as fragile as one. That if he pushed too hard or asked for too much it might shatter or dwindle away, and himself along with it. Then what would he have? He'd be empty. Bereft.
"I feel the same way." He forced himself to return her smile, even as she opened the door to disappear from his life again. "This is only the beginning."