Who: Holly Strange What: Christmas Day blues. Where: Her family's house. When: Saturday afternoon, December 25 2010 Warnings: Major Angst and drinking away the sorrows.
I let the day go by I always say goodbye I watch the stars from my window sill The whole world is moving and I'm standing still...
The Weepies had been playing on the lowest volume setting for over an hour, and the house was completely dark and empty save for one member of the Strange family currently holed up on the second floor in her old bedroom. Holly hadn't moved from her spot on the floor since her dad had left earlier that night, seeing no reason to overstay his welcome since Juliane wasn't here this Christmas, so he'd headed back to base as soon as dinner was over. Good riddance, Holly had thought. She didn't need him around anyway, none of them did. He was a jackass, your typical military dad and then some, and Holly much preferred spending time with Topher.
She'd forgotten to turn on the heat but she barely noticed her own shivering, dressed only in one of her brother's old t-shirts and a pair of ratty old shorts that were way too small on her. That was okay, the bottle of vodka she was currently drinking in its entirety would keep her warm enough, at least eventually anyway. Topher had left her to go on another alcohol run but it was taking him a long time and Holly was too impatient to wait, so she'd broken into her dad's liquor cabinet to find the good stuff. Not like he'd ever notice, if he was never home to. This was the worst Christmas ever.
All things considered, Holly had never been much for the holidays anyway, but this year was extra special. Her dad had actually decided to show up for the holiday, something that rarely happened, but he'd only stayed long enough to get furious about mom being in the hospital and make Holly and her brother feel like total shit. Tawny was still MIA, and had been for months now. Holly didn't know where the hell her sister was or what she was doing but she didn't like the things she was seeing on the boards, so she ignored it. She ignored all of it. It was the only way she could cope without going mental again herself.
And then not more than a couple weeks ago her mom had checked herself into the nut house indefinitely, since the evil sorceress bitch in her head had tried to kill her own daughter multiple times now and apparently her mom couldn't control her anymore. The last time hadn't been her fault, everyone's reincarnates had taken over, but it had been the straw that broke the camel's back and now she was gone. Holly missed her mom. She missed her family, despite what shit heads most of them were. There was a dull ache in her chest that had been there since she and her mom had said their goodbyes and it hadn't left. This was the only way she could think to deal with this magnitude of heart break.
With a soft scoff, Holly abruptly pulled herself out of her half drunk daze long enough to take another swig from the bottle and stand up. It took her a minute to gain some footing, she couldn't remember when she'd stood up last so she was a little shaky on her feet and she had to grasp the wall to regain any balance. If Topher wasn't back soon with more booze she'd probably pass out anyway, she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this dizzy. Happy fucking Christmas, Aurora. And that was the other thing. To make matters even worse she'd broken up with Oliver a few days ago. She'd known she was slipping, she'd tried to hold it together as best she could after her mom left but she knew she couldn't. Not forever. So, instead of making him deal with her shit pile of issues again, she'd broken up with him. She hadn't given him a reason and there'd been a lot of shouting, mostly on his end while she'd just stood there staring off into space. And then it was over. She missed him more then she could bear.
With calculating steps, Holly made her way slowly down the hall to her parent's room, the music from her bedroom echoing in the empty house and she moved idly through the shadows. She hadn't felt like this in a long time. Like a ghost. Because of Oliver she'd forgotten how to feel that way, but he wasn't here anymore. No one was, not really. She came to stand in the door way to her parent's room, staring inside blankly and leaning heavily against the frame with bottle in hand. Phantom images of her and Tawny as kids, rifling through their mother's jewelry. That didn't exactly change once they'd gotten older. She remembered the night months back when she'd thrown a party, and she and Tawny had found the stash of needles Maleficent had been keeping in their mom's jewelry box. And the way Tawny had flown into a rage and shoved Holly out of the room to do god knows what with those needles.
With a distinctive pang, she knew she missed her sister most of all. They were as different as night and day and messed up in more ways than one, but Tawny was her twin. A part of her, her other half. No matter what, that would never change. No matter what. Car headlights crept through the window and Holly's eyes flitted lazily in the direction they'd come from. Topher must be back with the booze. At least she still had her brother? Even if everything else in the world sucked, she still had him. That heavy, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach again told her that she'd probably lose him like she did everybody else. With a sudden burst of emotion, completely uncharacteristic of the usually so quiet and composed Holly Strange, she threw the bottle of vodka against the wall over her parent's bed where it broke and shattered. Now there would be two stains there instead of one. Too bad they'd never be home to notice.
Woke up and wished that I was dead With an aching in my head I lay motionless in bed I thought of you and where you'd gone and let the world spin madly on.