Isaiah Jones // Sayid Jarrah (flipsayid) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2010-12-17 22:14:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | isaiah jones |
Who: Isaiah Jones
What: Isaiah tries to write a new song, but ends up angsting and getting mad about his lack of muse. As usual.
When: December 17, 2010
Where: His small house in L.A.
Warnings: ANGST, some swearing, and lots of him being sad over Shannon.
"Like waves over rock, you wear me down. Like sun on my skin, you burn- oh DAMNIT!"
Isaiah smashed his hands on the piano keys in frustration, completely destroying the slow and fragile sounding melody he’d been trying to sing along to before. It sucked. His songs sucked, his voice sucked, his playing sucked, hell- his whole life just sucked right now. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair for the millionth time that day, which had caused it to stand up in all directions like he’d been electrocuted. Something was just… missing from his music. His muse was gone- had been gone for quite some time, actually. Perhaps even for several years now. Sayid may have inspired him to keep trying to write when he’d begun to give up on his music all together, but his actual muse had still drifted away anyways.
You’re giving up to quickly, Sayid pressed in what he hoped was a supportive tone. Try again.
“But whyyyyyy,” Isaiah whined aloud. That’s one of the perks to living alone- you could talk to yourself and no one stared at you like you were crazy. “That song is shit and we both know it. You only want me to finish it because it reminds you of Shannon.”
Which is the same reason you want to finish that song.
Isaiah sighed with exasperation. Shannon. It always came back to Shannon. He was pretty sure she was the reason why all of his old girlfriends had cheated on him- there was just something about the way he acted that apparently broadcasted the concept that he was in love with someone else. Which was also probably why both of his attempted proposals had failed epically. Well, okay, the first time she’d been cheating on him epically, but the second time… She knew he wasn’t really in love with her, and she told him so. And as much as he hated to admit it, they were very right to believe he wasn’t in love with them. Not completely. He’d long since fallen for the woman in Sayid’s memories, but it was screwing up his life to an extent far beyond healthy. He had to get over her- this person he’d never even met before.
That’s when he had the idea of writing a song about her. Sayid didn’t really think it would work, but he liked the idea of writing a song about her and thus encouraged Isaiah in his attempts. Attempts which, obviously, weren’t going very well.
The problem all lay in the fact that he had no muse. No source of constant, living inspiration. Memories could only provide so much, after all. He could always try and find the actual reincarnation of Shannon, but that defeated the whole purpose of attempting to get over her. Besides, he didn’t even know if she was there, or if she was the same or would like him back. Sayid thought she would- Isaiah wasn’t so sure. So he’d ignored his other half’s promptings to at least try and stuck by his plan to just try and get over her.
Which led him back to his music.
“… Alright. Okay. One more time.” He sat up in his seat and poised his fingers over the keys, and began to play the song again. He didn’t bother with the lyrics this time- just the piano part. Slowly, the song built up from it’s sad, slow cadence and into something that soared and made Isaiah’s chest feel tight because it sounded like her and shit, he shouldn’t miss her so much. But he did anyways. Because it was Shannon. He lost himself in his composing for a while, improvising the song to go in a new direction, a little more hopeful, a fraction more bright until-
“Argggh!”
A wrong chord jolted him out of his reverie, and he slammed his hands down on the keys, starting the process all over again.