miri evans † why does it want my name? (holy_moly) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2010-12-12 17:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | miriam evans |
Who: Miriam Evans
What: Revisiting the past, same as every year.
When: Backdated to December 7, 2010.
Where: Arlington National Cemetery
Warnings: Angst?
She walked through the neat rows of white headstones, a dark haired figure in an open brown trench coat, carrying flowers and seemingly impervious to the cold. After almost seventy years, she could probably follow this particular path with her eyes closed. Twice a year she had come here to Arlington, at first to mourn, and then to remember. Sometimes, it felt like this was all that was keeping her humanity in tact. Everyone she had known during her own lifetime, the thirty years that had been hers and hers alone, were dead or nearly so. It was only thanks to a few others that she didn't always feel completely alone. Only at times like this, when she insisted on revisiting her old life did she feel so very separated from the world that she had come to accept she would never escape.
Stopping at one of the nearly identical markers, she leaned down and gently placed the flowers in front of it. This was the grave of Joseph Watson, who she had happily married over eight decades ago. Today, this area of the cemetery was more crowded than usual. Every other war widow there leaned on the helpful arms of friends or family, or had to be wheeled in. They were all well in to their nineties now, younger than Miri had been. When the war had ended, they'd been little more than girls. Yet now she looked like she could have been any of their granddaughters. It wasn't fair.
Her fingers brushed lightly over the stone. She missed him, she really did. She'd had lovers since he had died. Many of them. But not a one of them had touched her like Joseph had. She'd never felt the same way about anyone else, ever. Part of her suspected that was because of Castiel. Nothing felt the same since he had arrived, like just being part angel dulled her emotions along with prolonging her lifespan. Sighing, she stepped away. She couldn't even shed a tear over him, not anymore. As much as she longed for him, it still felt like it had happened to someone else. Like maybe she only missed him because she missed the life that they had had. She missed being normal, missed being able to rest and forget the world. Her week of mortality had made that very clear.
"I'll see you again, sweetheart. One day." It was an empty promise, one she couldn't guarantee, and she knew it. She turned to leave, knowing that there were eyes on her. She'd come here, year after year, and seen the faces around her grow old. And they had seen her never age a day. She couldn't imagine what they must have thought, though seeing the way one of them crossed herself, she figured it wasn't too far from the truth. Too bad she wasn't feeling particularly angelic today. She envied them. One day soon they'd be reunited with their fallen husband's. They'd have an eternity of peace. What did she have? An eternity here, watching almost everyone she came in contact with wither and die.
Miri didn't look back again. She took a few steps, and with a soft flutter like the beating of wings, disappeared.