James T. Kirk ✈ (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} kirkout) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} thereincarnates,@ 2010-10-09 14:37:00 |
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What: A routine ultrasound that gives her some bittersweet news. Approximately five months and counting without Ryan.
When: Backdated to Friday, October 8th 2010 (Sideway's world)
Where: Her doctor's office in Phoenix, Arizona
Warnings: Angst? But hopeful angst, kinda...
For everyone else, hell was only just beginning. For Kal? Her hell had started early, almost exactly five months ago to the day. She'd never been a part of the war, which for Kirk wasn't very characteristic of him but things might have been different for them if Kal hadn't met Ryan Macintosh, the late Director of the Agency. They'd met in February of 2010, an instant connection if there ever was one. Kal had never been happier.
She'd stayed neutral and out of the war for his sake, something she absolutely did not regret. She just wasn't Kirk when it came down to it, and while she could have been out there fighting with everyone else, instead she'd spent her time falling in love. And when the war supposedly ended in April, naming CORE the victors? Things didn't immediately crash and burn. For the next month it actually seemed like things had finally come to a complete stop. In the matter of a few days Kal's world had ended just as it had begun to actually start.
Two days after telling Ryan that she was pregnant, Ryan was shot and killed in an abrupt and total Agency take over by the victors of the war. Kal remembered being in that hospital waiting room like it was just yesterday. The feeling of her heart being literally ripped from her body at the words 'I'm sorry, we've lost him' was still fresh in her mind, as was the day of the funeral. Kal had cried until she couldn't cry anymore, and then she spent the next five months in a permanent state of numb.
"Alright Kal, if you could lift up your shirt for me I can get this gel on so we can have a peak at what's going on in there. I'm sure you already know but just as a warning, it might be a little cold."
Kal's eyes flitted up to her doctor, standing over her with a look of mild concern. After another moment her eyes re-focused and her head snapped up to attention. "Huh? Oh. Yeah, sorry." Without another word she did as she was told, wincing a bit as he smoothed the gel-like substance over her protruding stomach and then went to work. Kal settled back into her chair and exhaled, staring down at herself while she waited.
Ryan should be here. Ryan was supposed to be here. Instead he was buried in the ground, and Kal was having their child without him. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. She knew there were people out there far worse off then her, but she couldn't help feeling bitter anyway. Lucas was great, he and Joy had been a big help in keeping her even a little bit sane, but they weren't Ryan. No one could replace the amazing man she'd fallen head over heels in love with, the man who for two whole days she thought she'd be spending the rest of her life with. If only those two days could have lasted forever... And then he died. What was even the point?
Her thoughts got interrupted again by the soft mutterings of her doctor and for a moment her heart jumped into her throat, experiencing that same familiar panic that all mothers-to-be felt when they went in for a routine ultra sound. There was always that chance, the doctor would run the probe over your belly and couldn't detect a heart beat. It was every mothers worse fear in those early stages. Kal was more then a little relieved when after a few more seconds that tell tale thumping sound over the monitor could be heard that indicated her baby's heart beat and she forced herself to look.
"Wow," she breathed, squinting at the screen to get a better look. For the first time since the last time she'd seen Ryan alive, something actually took her breath away. The sight of her unborn child, Ryan's child. He was still here with her, even if it wasn't the way she would have wanted him to be.
"Would you like to know the sex of the baby?"
Kal blinked a few times, staring up at her doctor for a moment as if she didn't understand the question before it clicked. The sex of the baby. If Ryan were here, Kal probably would have wanted to wait, but there wasn't anyone to really wait with her now. She was alone in this, but she didn't have to be. Somehow knowing the sex of her unborn child made her feel a little less lonely. "Yeah. Yes, lay it on me, Doc."
"It's a boy. Congratulations, Kal."
She looked up at the monitor for a long time, apparently lost in thought. Congratulations? She didn't have the heart to thank him, it didn't feel like she'd won anything, but in the next instant that feeling changed. Yes, Ryan was gone, but even if it had been unintentional he'd left a piece of him with her. As much as she wished every day that Ryan was still alive, she knew deep down that in some way he always would be. He'd be alive in their son, it'd be him and Kal against the world. That didn't sound so bad. Kal stared at the screen for a long time before saying anything, looking down at her stomach and smoothing her hand over the bump with a soft smile. She was deciding something.
"I think I'm going to call him Josh."