Deidre Merrick | Ariel (whatsafire) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2010-10-02 17:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | deidre nielsen |
Who: Deidre Nielsen (w/ a cameo by everyone's favorite mermaid)
What: Some internal musing and emotional struggling = not so happy birthday.
When: October 2nd, evening
Where: Deidre's apartment in Copenhagan, Denmark
Another day, another year older, and at fifty she had undeniably hit the mark where some would term her an old maid. It was a funny thing, Deidre mused as she took a sip of coffee, that she was still single at such an age where her headmate had married at a tender sixteen years. Then again, that was an entirely different world, and Ariel had been head over fins in love. Deidre had never experienced that sensation. There were times in the past where she had thought she had, but then it inevitably turned out to not be the case.
Because you’ve been holding out for the same reason I have, Ariel’s voice sounded in her mind, knowing and coaxing at the same time. Now we’ve found him. All you have to do is let yourself fall. In response, Deidre only shook her head, staring out at the harbor as she stood on the balcony of her apartment, lounging against the railing. “It’s not as simple as that,” she murmured, drumming her fingers against the side of her coffee mug. “You don’t fall in love with someone after only three dates, if they were even that.”
But you like him, the mermaid persisted with her characteristic stubbornness, and you know him better than you think. He’s so much like Eric. “Not enough for me to walk down the aisle with him tomorrow,” Deidre rebutted and then sighed. She did like Anthony, though, she had to admit to herself. Very much so. The fact that he had invested so much time, and allowed the quest to influence his career choice, in finding her, in finding Ariel, however, gave her pause.
How much was it, she couldn’t help but wonder, that he liked her for her versus how much of it was Eric’s influence showing itself? Part of her, the hopelessly romantic part of her that Ariel had helped to cultivate, wanted to say it didn’t matter either way. How much difference was there really between the two halves, anyway? But then another part of her didn’t want to give her all to a relationship that was based on what once was rather than the now.
She sighed heavily, setting down her mug and burying her face in her arms as she rested them on the railing. It was wearying, being so cynical of an outcome that she, deep down, desired more than anything else in the world. Why couldn’t she let herself have this? Maybe there seriously was something the matter with her.