Who: Freddie Morgan & Garrett Landry What: Getting past first base (finally) Where: Freddie's rooms in Camelot Castle When: Sunday afternoon, October 22nd, 2017 Warnings: Definitely gonna be some porn
The last two months had been sort of a weird blur for Freddie. Walt had died in August, and ever since then Freddie had felt like he was stuck in a semi-permanent haze, only lifting briefly whenever he was around Garrett. The things he'd been doing before suddenly didn't hold as much meaning to him anymore. He didn't care about PR, not that he'd ever cared much about it, but that usual drive to do his best out of a desire to make people proud wasn't there anymore. He still went to work, but he was just going through the motions, and it didn't seem like Zach had noticed much of anything anyway. He was probably just as distracted as Freddie was, but even if Zach had noticed, Freddie wasn't sure he cared anymore about impressing him. His youngest brother had died. Another Morgan was dead, and losing family never got any easier, but for some reason, this was hitting him harder in ways Freddie hadn't expected. Walt had been the youngest of all of them, and he'd lost his life before he'd even been able to have much of one. Unlike Freddie, Walt had plans for his future. Real plans, and now he didn't get to do any of them.
He missed his brother. He also felt strangely torn up about it, almost... guilty. Like he didn't have any right to sit back and keep coasting through life anymore, resting comfortably on a boring job that he hated, because his younger brother with all of his dreams and ambitions had gone too soon, everything he'd had planned for his life abruptly taken away from him. It wasn't fair. It sounded stupid, maybe, but Freddie couldn't help feeling a little plagued by it. Like he owed Walt for everything he'd never get to do now, while Freddie had been too busy dedicating himself to a role that his heart wasn't even in. Maybe he was just going through some kind of a quarter life crisis that was only further exacerbated by the grief stemming from the sudden death of his younger brother, but Freddie couldn't shake the strong feelings of inadequacy and lack of worth that he felt every time he thought about the fact that he hated what he was doing and Walt had died doing what he loved. Maybe Freddie had never really understood Walt's passion for serving in the military, but at least he'd had a real passion. Freddie had been feeling weirdly lost ever since.
So for the last two months, Freddie had been spending a lot less time in the PR department when he didn't absolutely have to be there, and a lot more time in the stables, and doing sword work in the training rooms. Sometimes with Scott, sometimes with other people in the combat department, sometimes by himself. It helped him think, work through his grief, but most importantly, it made him happy. That, and Garrett. Garrett always made him happy, but Freddie didn't know how he would have gotten through these last two months without him. He still had Ellie, obviously, but that was different. There was no one he was closer to than Ellie, and even so, it was Garrett who he really needed in those first few weeks right after Walt's death. Garrett was something real and solid that Freddie could hold onto when he needed it, someone he could forget everything else with when it all became too much. Being able to be alone with Garrett was what had kept Freddie sane these last two months.
Freddie's family still didn't know about them, no one did. Freddie had been sort of working up to telling them, right before Walt's death, and afterward it just felt like bad timing. When he told his family about him and Garrett, he wanted it to be happy news, he didn't want that happiness to be marred by tragedy. He didn't want to force anyone to fake smiles for them when they were still mourning another brother. Freddie was sad about Walt, but it was an odd feeling, to feel such sadness over someone when someone else was making you so happy. Freddie didn't know if he should feel guilty about that too, but it was hard to feel guilty about anything where Garrett was involved. Things between them just felt too good to let anything negative get in the way of what they had. Freddie wasn't going to let himself ruin the one truly good thing going for him right now by getting too stuck in his own head. He thought that maybe he was actually growing as a person by recognizing that as a constant flaw of his.
It'd been a blissfully lazy Sunday, all things considered. No work to do, and Freddie had taken the day off from training. He and Garrett had spent most of the afternoon in his rooms, where Freddie knew no one would bother them. It was funny, at one point it would have never actually occurred to him to just have Garrett over like this, which made him the most oblivious idiot on the planet. The first time Garrett had hung out with him like this had been shortly after Walt's death. He'd come over with a bunch of movies and they'd spent most of the day in bed watching them. At the time, Freddie had been too messed up with grief to really notice that he and Garrett were occupying the same bed, and holding each other for most of the time that they were laying on it. Now? Freddie was almost painfully aware of how warm and inviting Garrett was where they were lying on the bed again now, in much the same positions as before with Freddie angled slightly into his side, resting his head lightly on Garrett's shoulder as they watched one of the Lord of the Rings movies. The Two Towers, it had the most sword fighting and horses. "The Rohirrim are definitely the most bad ass," Freddie mumbled cheerfully against Garrett's shoulder at a certain point. "Way cooler than the elves. And less prissy."