Claire Pierroux ✝ Caroline Forbes (barbievamp) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2017-01-07 23:14:00 |
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Entry tags: | !backstory, claire pierroux |
Who: Claire Pierroux
What: Drinking vampire blood and OD’ing is totally a good idea
Where: Her dorm room at Louisiana State
When: Saturday night, October 8th 2016 during the virus plot
Warnings: It’s a suicide, technically, even if it doesn’t work
A slightly younger Claire would have been ecstatic at the opportunity to become a vampire. Maybe there was a part of Claire that still was, the part that had always been fascinated by things like vampires and werewolves and all other manner of things that were rumored to go bump in the night. Except they weren't just stories anymore, those things were real, and the vampire in her head was one of them. Growing up, Claire loved reading stories about the mystical and the supernatural, the things that no one else could explain, and the sort of creatures that only seemed real to the world if you believed in them enough. Her parents had never understood her obsessions, had often hoped it was just a phase, but even after Claire got to an age where she could understand the difference between reality and fiction, there was always a part of her that still wanted desperately to believe.
She’d spent countless hours when she was younger pouring over every book she could find in the library on supernatural beings and the occult; watching every movie, every television show, reading countless articles on the internet about them. Claire had been obsessed, there was no getting around that, but what young girl didn’t secretly (or not so secretly) want to be unique? Claire had plenty of school friends who liked to play pretend, only that was where it always stopped for them. Claire's fascination border lined on extremely unhealthy obsession, to the point that when she'd been younger there had been time where her parents had actually been a little worried about her mental stability. They even took her to a therapist once, but all that therapist told them was that their daughter had a healthy imagination, and it shouldn't worry them at her still very young age.
They'd been right, ultimately. Claire wasn't the one in the family who would eventually end up institutionalized. In the end, she could still tell the difference between what was real and what wasn't. Except for lately, ironically. After the years she spent as a child imagining herself like the beautiful, immortal creatures that she so revered in her books, knowing that they were just fantasies, suddenly Claire had found herself on the brink of it, and her brother had already gone over to the other side. Reincarnation was a strange concept, at least the kind of reincarnation that this seemed to be. She was still herself, but now she was herself with a whole other person living inside her own head. Like some bizarre form of schizophrenia that came with weird powers, or at least the potential for them. That was the difference between her and Léon, he was dead and she wasn't. He was a vampire, while she was merely still playing pretend at it; living with a chatty, bubbling vampire in her head while not getting any of the real perks to being a reincarnated vampire.
Claire would never admit to Léon, especially with how hard he was taking his own condition, but sometimes Claire thought she almost felt a tiny bit jealous of him. He'd never fantasized about it, probably never even thought once before he got Louis about what it would be like to be beautiful and immortal forever, and yet he was the one who ended up drawing the short straw on a mortal life? She never actually resented him or anything, but there was maybe a tiny hint of jealousy in there somewhere. But that wasn't why she was doing this tonight. That wasn't why she'd secretly contacted one of the vampires in that band Léon was managing now, the vampire she knew to be the reincarnate of Damon Salvatore, and asked for a vial of his blood, despite all of Caroline's warnings about him. Claire didn't care. People were dying from this thing, this virus that only seemed to be infecting and killing reincarnates, and Claire wasn't going to be one of them. Or at least, if she was going to die, she was damn well going to do it on her terms. And then she would come back.
She hadn't told Léon, but she'd started to feel sick one day ago. He had enough to worry about, with his new baby and baby mama who was kind of his friend now too. Claire didn't want him to worry about her, and he wouldn't have to, because she was going to be fine. She was going to take care of this herself, the only way she knew how. She was going to save herself, she didn't need anybody else to do it for her. Though despite how determined she was to do this, it still took her awhile to get up the courage to actually open that vial of blood and put it to her lips. She was alone in her dorm room that night, thankfully. Her roommate was off spending the night with some guy, her latest flavor of the week, and Claire had stayed in, saying she was just going to watch some movies and go to bed. She'd been watching The Count of Monte Cristo, her favorite, when her roommate left (the Guy Pearce version, duh), but Claire could barely concentrate on it so she turned it off soon after. It was now or never, Claire though to herself uneasily. If she let herself get much sicker than Léon would find out, and her roommate would probably figure out that it wasn't just a small cold either, and Claire hadn't exactly had the conversation with her about being a reincarnate.
Grabbing the vial of Sean's blood from under her mattress, Claire gripped it nervously in her hands for five minutes before she finally worked up the nerve to take the top off and put it close to her lips. As soon as she did, the overwhelming smell of iron filled her nostrils and Claire wrinkled her nose, turning her head away from the vial as she drew in a few deep breaths and mentally coaxed herself into it. Okay. Okay. You can do this. It's a vanilla milkshake. It's just a vanilla milkshake... Ignoring Caroline's inward protests, Claire plugged her nose with two fingers and shut her eyes tight, forcing the vial to her lips and tipping her head back with it to drink it all down. It was immediately disgusting, but Claire managed to swallow it before she righted herself, visibly shuddering and trying not to dry heave. "Ugh, gross! I can't believe vampires actually like this stuff." Temporarily distracted by her disgust, Claire shoved the now empty vial back under her mattress and made a face, before she realized what was still left for her to do.
Suicide wasn't something she'd ever thought about, at least not seriously. A lot of teenage girls went through phases where they thought about suicide, even just in a more abstract way. Because you hated your body, a really cute boy just dumped you, or you still weren't used to the new hormones that came with your period once a month. It wasn't easy, being a teenage girl. Even Claire had briefly entertained abstract thoughts about it, but it had always been in a sort of fucked up, romanticized way. Not like this. Did this even count as suicide? She was technically making herself die so she could come back as a vampire, so maybe it didn't. Still, Claire couldn't get the thought out of her head as she reached for the bottle of pain killers with trembling hands. She felt even less good about this than she had about the blood, but she forced herself to pop off the cap and spill a large amount of pills into her open palm. Breathing out, Claire didn't let herself think too hard about it before she tossed them all back into her mouth, reaching for the glass of water by her bed and swallowing them all down with a whimper. Almost immediately, she had regrets, but it was too late now. Not unless she wanted to run into the bathroom and make herself puke. She suddenly really wished Léon was here.
Claire was nervous. Actually, she was pretty damn scared. Even though she'd thought about doing this over and over again for the last week, now that she'd done it and there was no going back, she wished she'd thought about it a little more. Now all she could do was wait. Wait to die, which felt incredibly morbid now, even if the vampire blood in her system would wake her up again, once everything else stopped working. She looked at her phone, for a moment thinking about calling her brother, but then quickly decided against it. She'd call him after, hopefully he wouldn't be too mad at her. Locking the door and making sure the shades were all drawn, Claire climbed into her bed and huddled under the covers with her iPod, turning on something mellow that she could easily drift off too. It was maybe a pretty pathetic way to die, but then again, Claire was kind of pathetic. Willfully shutting her eyes, Claire worked hard to block out everything else, Caroline's voice urging her to call someone before it was too late, her own thoughts starting to agree with the other voice in her head, she blocked out everything until the music started drowning everything else out as her mind and body started to slip away.
[ooc: Obviously Claire didn't end up dying. Before the vampire blood and pain killers could fully take affect, everyone got pulled into the alternate reality and when Claire woke up in the present again, she was alive and human.]