InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Tell the story of tonight. "

Matthias Graves | Simon Monroe (inbalance) wrote in thereincarnates,
@ 2015-10-13 23:54:00

Entry tags:

jim moore, matthias graves

Who: Matthias Graves and Jim Moore
What: A little help with handling rejection.
Where: Jim's place, Chicago.
When: Tuesday, October 13; evening.
Warnings: A little hurt/comfort smut. So. You know. That stuff.

It had never occurred to Matthias that Lucien would be angry about what he had to tell him. Shocked, yes. Needing a chance to think about it, of course. His prized protege actually being angry that Matthias had been grooming him to take a place in the Resistance's best (in his opinion) department, working closely with himself and Jim, hadn't seemed possible. Lucien was a man after his own heart, after all, Matthias had assumed he would understand the necessity for secrecy. He'd let Lucien in as far as he could, hadn't he? As far as he could without endangering all of them, anyhow, and even a little further than he likely should have, setting him up to befriend Francis, as well. Matthias's position in the Resistance itself meant that there were certain things that, even if Lucien were to have accepted his offer, Matthias could never have shared with him. Still, he'd thought that Lucien would understand the need for all the secrecy, and all the puzzles.

He hadn't told Jim how Lucien had reacted. Not yet, though he was under no illusions that he could somehow convince his lover that things had gone well. He'd have stood a better chance if he'd returned to his own home in Las Vegas instead of meeting up with Jim at his place, but that change of plans in itself would have given away far too much. There was no chance at all that Jim would miss his reactions, face to face. Matthias was excellent at his job, but Jim was better. Jim was perfect, really, and Matthias didn't think that he'd seen Lucien's reaction coming, either. Matthias didn't think he'd be angry. They hadn't told Lucien anything that could ruin them, at least not yet, although he could do enough damage simply knowing that Jim and Matthias were in the Resistance, and having a vague idea of their role.

After he let himself in, Matthias went straight to the bedroom, not even a pause for a drink. He was too lost in thought, and in the accusations that Lucien had slung. Matthias didn't think of himself as a very thin-skinned man, but he wasn't entirely immune to those weaker sorts of feelings, particularly when he treasured the person who had pricked them. He'd recover, of course. Lucien's words wouldn't affect his ability to do his job. That didn't mean he was entirely okay.

At first, he sat on the bed, head buried in his hands. There was still a chance, of course, that Lucien would change his mind and come around after all. Maybe Matthias should have been upset over all the work wasted, if he didn't. Instead, he worried about who else he'd discuss poetry with. He could talk about it with Jim, of course, but that inevitably moved into other things. In Lucien, he'd found someone he could have a simple conversation with, have the chance to feel a little older and wiser but still get something out of the conversation, as well. He'd come to like that, quite a bit.

The silence became almost as bad as the thought of discussing it, eventually. Matthias stood and started to disrobe, unbuttoning his shirt. It felt down to the crooks of his arms, the top of the scar that ran along his spine, healed into knots of white flesh like Simon's scar had never had the chance to do, revealed by the slide of fabric. In most places, he wouldn't show it. Here, at least, he was safe. Jim had seen every scar he had... including, Matthias thought, the ones that weren't on his body.

(Post a new comment)

oweyouafall
2015-10-14 10:06 pm UTC (link)

As close as Jim and Matthias had become, and as much as Matthias probably already knew Jim better than anyone else ever had, Matthias may or may not have expected Jim to take his own precautions where it came to Lucien. He was a paranoid man, after all, not quite so quick to trust as Matthias, but Jim had to admit he had been charmed by how fast Matthias had wanted to take Lucien under their wing. Jim Moore wasn't a man with many weaknesses, but if he had one, it would be Matthias, because he'd barely hesitated to humor him and allow it to happen. But that still didn't mean he hadn't been cautious.

He'd had his own men keeping a close eye on Lucien more or less since day one, just to be sure that the boy was really someone they would want to bring into their fold eventually. He'd looked into Lucien's history, which Matthias did know, and knew all the details that Jim had uncovered. Lucien was just the Resistance's type, really, right down to his reincarnate, but it was always a gamble, bringing someone in unawares. Matthias might not have, but Jim had been anticipating a bad reaction when Matthias decided to tell Lucien the truth tonight. Call it trust issues, of which he had many.

So, that's why he already knew how it had gone tonight, or at least had a vague idea. Jim didn't know what had been said between them, not yet, but he knew that his man on Lucien detail tonight had reported to him that Lucien had left their meeting place looking angry. Jim's agent had followed Lucien all the way to Here&Gone before reporting back, which is the only reason why Jim hadn't decided to pull the plug right then and there. Well, two reasons. One, Jim was reasonably confident that if Lucien was going there to talk to Francis, this could still end up going in their favor. Two, Matthias would probably be pretty upset if his favorite protege ended up mysteriously dead the same night they had an argument.

Jim walked in the door maybe ten minutes after Matthias, almost immediately aware of the man's presence in his house before he even saw him. When Jim silently crossed the threshold of his bedroom, Matthias was already undressing, and for a moment Jim chose to lean casually against the door frame and quietly watch the other man before announcing his presence. None of Matthias's scars bothered Jim, and now Jim studied them with a keen interest, biting at the edge of one of his own fingers as he finally spoke up in a tone uncharacteristically soft, but calculating. He knew Matthias would be reluctant to give him the news that Lucien had taken it badly. "Back so soon? I expected you much later."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

inbalance
2015-10-19 04:55 am UTC (link)

Matthias glanced over his shoulder as he let the shirt drop to the floor, bared to the waist. The twist of his head didn't quite hide the circular scar at the nape of his neck, normally hidden as well by the collars of the dress shirts he preferred to wear. They were disguise in more ways than one; concealing a great many flaws, and yet giving the impression that the man that wore them was civilized, professional. Matthias was both of those things, but he wasn't a man with nothing to hide. No one knew that better than Jim did, of course. No one knew what kind of darkness, what kind of monster, Matthias kept neatly tucked away behind nice clothes and pretty words.

"Did you have us followed?" It wasn't an accusation. There was no hint of irritation, even. Matthias had never cared whether Jim had him followed, though it was an invasion of his privacy. Jim was the one man in the world that he had no secrets from; their relationship, both professional and personal, was above secrets on Matthias's end. If Jim kept some from him still, it meant only that Matthias hadn't earned them. Being offended by the things that Jim did was senseless when he'd already handed over far more trust than they required. It was merely a question, one that would tell him if he even needed to bother with the whole painful, awkward tale. If he didn't have to say anything at all, if Jim already knew, that would be all for the best.

Matthias didn't know where Lucien had gone, after they'd separated. He'd sat in the private room in Skin for a while longer, going over what he'd said, what he'd done, how he'd handled the whole situation from beginning to end, trying to find where he'd gone wrong, where he'd made the mistake. He couldn't see any way that he could have handled things differently, much less better, and still have kept faith with Jim, and with the Resistance. Yes, in that order; it was telling, and he'd never tell, that loyalty to Jim had crept above and beyond his loyalty to the Resistance. They were one and the same, weren't they, for the moment at least. He'd known from the start that he was more of a romantic than his lover, and that there would come a point where his priorities shifted. There was no need to burden Jim with that knowledge. He likely already suspected.

It would have been more polite to fully turn, he knew, but they were beyond things like politeness. It was more intimate, to show his back to Jim, than it would be to turn and look him in the eye. There was more trust in the gesture, exposing his back to a man as dangerous as Jim. He looked back toward the bed, bending his head forward to expose the back of his neck, as well. His fingers worked, slowly and carefully, at his belt, pulling the end through the loop of leather securing it, working it free from the tongue. He'd finish undressing and crawl into bed. Whether Jim chose to join him was his own decision. Physical comfort was something he'd never ask for, not in so many words.