Leopold Bannon * Tylendel Freylenne (tragicloss) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2014-05-03 08:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | leopold bannon |
Who: Ban and Tylendel
What: They "talk" about Zane/Vanyel
When: immediately following this conversation
Where: Ban's apartment in Philadelphia
Warnings: Psychic issues, over the top teenage drama
Rating: general
Ban stared in horror at his laptop screen then slowly closed the lid and sighed.
Let's go..we need to pack, said the soft voice in his head, nearly twitching with excitement and happiness, but also incredibly worried.
“Go where?” Ban got up and headed into the kitchen. He wasn't really much of a drinker, didn't have time, but he poured himself a glass of wine and went to stand in front of the windows looking out on the city. This is exactly what he didn't want. Vanyel, alive and there. He didn't have the time and to be honest, the idea of having that kind of a bond with someone scared the shit out of him. Not that lifebonding existed in this time. At least he hoped to all that was holy that it didn't.
The longer he stood still, the more agitated Tylendel became, but he needs me. He's upset..and he's going to have the dreams again. Who is going to help him? Ban..he needs me.
Ban was accustomed to Tylendel's presence now, but he'd never felt the other with such incredible strength. “Maybe his wife,” Ban pointed out softly. “Or his girlfriend..maybe his kids. He's not *yours* 'Lendel. He's a man with his own life. You have no idea who he is now. He could be a raging racist, homophobic shithead.” Which was unlikely given he had Vanyel is his head, but it wasn't impossible.
There was a moment of quiet and anguish and guilt, Havens...you're right..he. He...might already be taken. It..never occurred to me. Maybe there's already...I might be too late.
Resting his forehead against the cool glass, Ban exhaled slowly. “Even so..he may not want to see you. Lifebonded or not...you hold some not great memories for him.” And Ban himself was not interested in that kind of a relationship. Not with anyone, let alone the kind of tied together, feeling what each other felt, emotionally dependent and completely unhealthy, no choice relationship Tylendel and Vanyel had had.
It wasn't like that! I loved him..and I needed him and he loved and needed me. We were happy! Gods...you have nothing to even compare that to in your lonely, walled off little world.
Ban sighed, “We're not having this argument again.” He was tried of trying to explain why he didn't find the idea of lifebonding or soul mates to be such a great one. That kind of vulnerability to another person...that responsibility? He shuddered gently. Of course, how it had ended for 'lendel and Van didn't exactly help.
Another silence, this one longer as Ban finished his wine, looked at the clock and exhaled slowly. He should try and sleep, even though he was certain that sleep would not be coming any time soon. There was too much going on in his brain, even without a love torn seventeen year old knocking about in it. Granted, without that he wouldn't be having this entire issue would he?
It didn't help that those memories, all of them were there. How insanely happy Tylendel and Vanyel had been. Ban knew sometimes he didn't give Tylendel enough credit, sure he was a kid, but he had never really been allowed to be a kid. Not all that dissimilar to Ban himself if for totally different reasons. He knew that the loss of Tylendel's twin, feeling that death first hand had driven Tylendel over the edge into grief torn madness and a burning need for revenge. With the perspective of an adult, he didn't blame the poor boy for the actions that followed. After all, Vanyel and Tylendel had been kids with such fucked up upbringings their actions made total sense to Ban. Sure, looking back it was clear that they hadn't thought their way through things, but God only knew what his little brothers would have done if one of them had died. Ban mostly blamed the adults for not being more aware, but Tylendel didn't. That was one of the issues with being trained for selflessness and sacrifice, not that Ban really saw those same attributes in his own life.
Still Ban had a life now and it didn't involve magic or war or fated soul mates. He was just a doctor and that had been enough.
“Look..I'm. I'm sorry. I know this isn't easy for you. I know what he was to you, but...we don't know anything and clearly Zane is not ready to deal with any of this, so...we just have to...” Ban trailed off and exhaled slowly. “Be patient...pretend it never happened? Something like that at least.”
Ban headed into the kitchen to wash his glass, Tylendel's emotions building slowly in his head. “Give it time,” he murmured. “You don't know..”
The glass broke, pieces tinkling as they fell into the sink. Sorry..we. I. I need to see him, Ban. You..we read the book. You know what he's feeling right now. I can't just..leave him to that. I owe him. So much. The way I treated him...
Ban stared at the glass, rinsing the shards from his hand then picking up the pieces to dump into the trash. The urge to run off toward Vanyel was nearly overwhelming and he took another slow breath. “Tylendel..maybe he doesn't *want* to see you. Yeah..I have an idea what he's feeling right now. At least what Vanyel is. I don't know about Zane, but...”
Ban never got to finish the sentence as dishes started to lift out of the dryer on their own. He wasn't even touching them. “Ty.....enough.”
Tylendel wasn't listening though and before Ban could say another word, a maelstrom of emotion came crashing down on him, grief and fear and pain and guilt. So much guilt that Ban could nearly taste it, bitter as bile down the back of his throat. The edges of the world grew darker and his head felt like it was buzzing. “Ty,” Ban tried again, having no idea how to console the young man in his brain who had, for a little while at least, thought he had the chance to make up for all the wrong he felt he'd done.
***
An hour or so later, Ban woke up with the most intense headache he'd ever had. It felt like someone had poured hot acid into his brain and it was swishing around and then leaking out his ears. He opened one eye and groaned, his kitchen was a disaster. The cabinets were open, broken glass and pottery was scattered everywhere in a circle around him.
“Mother fucker,” he swore, sitting up gingerly, stomach heaving and head pounding. “The fuck...” Three kitchen knives were embedded to the hilt in one wall. “How the fuck...I can't explain.” Ban suddenly turned and puked all over the floor. The boy in his head was oddly silent.