ava prince ✶ arthur pendragon (royalbackside) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2012-06-14 19:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | ava prince, gareth evans |
Who: Ava Prince and Gareth Evans
What: A quiet goodbye before a game-changing mission.
Where: Ava's room in Camelot HQ
When: Thursday evening, June 14th, 2012
Warnings: Sadness? And also maybe a little bit of crazy, depending on how things go.
The rain mesmerized today, falling gently from a gray sky, making everything gray and wet and, somehow, timelessly beautiful. Ava closed her eyes, and when she opened them, she was seeing Arthur's Camelot, quiet because of the dreary weather, peaceful because – today, at least – no one was trying to kill him, or Uther, or Merlin. No one, not even Morgana. Ava let go of a breath and shut her eyes again, resting her forehead against the damp stone from her perch by the open window. It wasn't like that anymore.
No one in this castle was trying to kill her. It had taken so long for that to finally get through to her, that all those terrible memories of Daniel and Gareth and the rest were false, planted in her head to make her the Resistance's very own sleeper assassin. Gareth had helped show her, and she knew they weren't real now, but sometimes, when she was alone or when she forgot herself, just for a moment, they still felt real. Some of it still rang true, like Daniel's imaginary hatred for her. Deep down, that was something she and Arthur had always feared – that Daniel would hate her just like Morgana hated him. That Daniel would consider her a threat. She never was, though. He trusted her, maybe more than anybody. Ava was his second-in-command. She remembered that now, too.
The thought made her scoff bitterly to herself. Some leader she was, half-mad and cooped up in her room. Until she was herself again, this was safer for everyone, she knew that, but part of her wondered. Would she ever be herself again? Sara had left before Ava had a chance to ask her; fighting for Camelot had cost both her and Peter too much, and Ava understood. It cost all of them too much. If Ava had been the coward the Resistance tried to make her be, she might have left, too. But she wasn't a coward. Afraid, yes. Lost, yes. But she was just as much of a Morgan as Daniel was. In spite of everything, she was still brave.
That was progress. It had to be.
Lost in her thoughts, sticking her arm out of the window to feel the rain on her skin, Ava almost didn't hear the soft knock on her door, but when she did, she barely paid it any mind. "It's unlocked," she called over her shoulder, shifting her angle on the windowsill slightly to lean further out into the rain. Then, she said softly, all to herself "I've not made a prisoner of myself. Not anymore."