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Hannah Ryan | Sam Winchester (lostmyshoe) wrote in thereincarnates,

It was weird to try and think of when the last time she had been properly hugged was. She assumed she'd gotten some from her mom the few times she went home after she got Sam, but it was hard to think about her normal life. It was all overshadowed by the demons and hunting, a life separate from school and family. There was affection from Remy, but even that was less and less towards the end of their short relationship. It was hard to keep dating a guy when you were there for the death of his brother.

The hug with Ben was different. She clung to it. He was her connection to her life before Sam that she could actually hold onto through her new life. In some ways, Ben knew what it was like to be a reincarnate, so it was less dangerous to be in contact with him than it was to go home. And for a second she could be thirteen, crying to her big brother about the jerks at school. Not nineteen and nursing wounds, with the battle scars on her psyche from losing so many people in such a short time.

She reluctantly allowed him to pull back. It was stupid to get too attached, even if she wanted to. Things happened. Sam's life had a tendency to seep over and destroy those he loved. She couldn't get used to just having Ben there without any consequences--without any more consequences, as the throbbing in her arm reminded her. She wouldn't be able to share everything with him the way she used to.

"It's not really an exciting story." She offered carefully. She couldn't tell him of the times she'd practiced while looking for spirits, or how she'd learned to work a gun from Justin and Shane. She couldn't tell him how Azazel had killed Miri, or how Alastair had kidnapped her. There was a lot of things she couldn't tell Ben, and she had to be incredibly careful to avoid those questions. The best way to do that was to avoid all of them all together. "Sam just...taught me."

Regardless, she pushed herself to her feet as carefully as she could, only swaying a little bit once she was there. Her body was still aching from its impact with the wall, and her head wasn't quite ready to be standing, but it wasn't the first time she'd pushed her body beyond what it wanted to do. She gestured for him to lead the way.

"What's the Capitol?"