Reed Jensen (_rube_) wrote in themoderngods, @ 2012-02-28 11:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | !aim, ♥ lori stanback : dropped, ♥ reed jensen, ♦ neptune, ♦ nyx |
((WARNING: extremely NSFW links))
REED: I need girl advice.
LORI: ooooh?
REED: I don't know if I have a date this week. I might, but I'm bad at this shit.
LORI: lol kk dish
REED: Girl I met while out getting coffee this weekend. She's coming over to help me pack and make dinner.
LORI: well i guess thats pretty innocent
LORI: wait wait WAIT dinner?
REED: Yeah, we're making pasta and having wine. Her suggestion.
LORI: okay you know that like a date with pasta and wine is like
LORI: not like my kind of date
REED: But is it a date or just a friend thing? I'm so dim. I never know when women are interested in me.
LORI: idk did it happen online? can I read it? where?
REED: Yeah, in my post about moving in with you. Her name is Lucia.
LORI: ooooh
LORI: maybe it is
REED: Crap. Now I'm gonna be nervous.
LORI: well thats why you have wine
REED: Getting drunk, that's your suggestion?
LORI: naw
LORI: but wine does relax youuuu
REED: Right.
LORI: idk i never had a normal date
REED: I usually screw them up.
LORI: mine just start out in bed
REED: Oh.
LORI: did i make you blush again?
REED: Yes.
LORI: oh well theyre all idiots anyway
LORI: any girl would be lucky toget you
REED: Thanks, that's what my mom says, but I figure she's required to say that.
LORI: i'm obvs not your mom
REED: I would NEVER mistake you for my mother.
LORI: haha
REED: She's confused about me moving in with you when we just met and aren't dating.
LORI: woah lol old fashioned much
REED: She's from Indiana. And Catholic.
LORI: this is new york
LORI: the usual rules don't apply
LORI: i roomed with a drag queen for a couple of months
REED: Yeah, I'm aware, but she's not.
LORI: best months ever
REED: You probably don't want to borrow my clothes or shoes. Sorry.
LORI: idk well see
REED: But I have an awesome cat!
LORI: imma steal it for when i sleep
REED: He won't mind. He's a snuggler.
LORI: hmmmm
LORI: why are all the good men cats
REED: I'm a good snuggler too!
LORI: lol you wouldnt want to date me
REED: I don't do so well with sharing.
LORI: but youre sharing your cat
REED: That's different.
REED: I can't share a woman.
LORI: woah talk about being shot down much?
REED: Was that insulting? I mean, your job kinda requires that you be single, right?
LORI: uh lots of the girls have boyfriends
LORI: its just a job
REED: Oh, I didn't know that. I've only been to strip clubs maybe three times in my life.
LORI: well if you want to make it a fourth i promise i wont embarras you
REED: I don't believe you.
LORI: i dont take tips from my roommate
REED: You won't make me get up on stage or anything, will you?
LORI: noooooo
LORI: im just gonna let the other girls have at u
REED: I think it would be weird, especially of I saw you naked.
LORI: ill make sure im dressed at all itmes
REED: Good. That would be awkward.
LORI: the cat might see something else tho
REED: He's a cat. He watches me shower all the time.
LORI: now i wish i was a cat
REED: ….
LORI: what naked is natural
LORI: a cat is naked all the time
REED: Oh, you were talking about wanting to be a cat so YOU can be naked. Got it.
REED: Sorry, blushing again.
LORI: hahaaaa
LORI: you woke me up again :-(
LORI: hows a good girl ever going to get any sleep
REED: Sorry? As my new roommate you're required to deal with my randomness at all hours.
LORI: really?
REED: Yep.
LORI: then im going to tapdance at fivein the morning
LORI: just saying
REED: I'm usually awake by then on weekdays.
LORI: but not on weekends :-)
REED: Damn.
REED: I'll learn to love it.
LORI: hahahaaa
REED: Batman will probably try to chase your feet.
LORI: not if i attach a feather to my fan
REED: Yeah, that'll keep him occupied for HOURS! Though, I warn you, he can jump pretty damn high.
LORI: :-*
REED: No I will not makeout with you!
LORI: dreamon youre too proper
REED: Not according to my mother!
LORI: so youll spank me until my asscheeks are red?
REED: Dammit, stop making me blush!
LORI: http://pix.avaxnews.com/avaxnews/7f/2
LORI: yes okay i made you dead
REED: *is dead*
LORI: you know i have a porn vid?
REED: You.. what?
LORI: i made one!
REED: I have no response to that.
LORI: lemme find the link
LORI: you jyst wait
REED: Wait.. you said we were watching Big Bang Theory. You're not gonna trick me into watching a sex tape with you, are you?
LORI: Look, it's Sheldon!
REED: THAT'S NOT SHELDON!
LORI: really?
LORI: i should check again
REED: You tricked me!
LORI: well sjeesh itsnot like its dirty
REED: Oh really? Because the first thing I see is a vagina.
LORI: do you want to see me in chains instead?
REED: No. I'm going to be living with you.
LORI: see not dirty
REED: Are, uh, chains normal? Like, am I going to hear rattling on a regular basis?
LORI: uh no i go to an sm club for that
REED: You know what I mean.
LORI: imightbe sore sometimes?
REED: I just mean, we didn't discuss bringing dates back to the apartment.
LORI: do whatever you llike
LORI: my boys will just have to clean their places
REED: That's not really fair. It's your place.
REED: Maybe just give me a heads up so I don't walk in on something.
LORI: bra on the door?
REED: That works.
LORI: altho
LORI: im a screamer
REED: Oh god.
REED: You're trying to kill me, aren't you?
LORI: Totally
REED: I'm not clicking that.
LORI: well just so you know how loud i scream
REED: .....
LORI: someone clicked
REED: DAMN YOU!
REED: I don't know if this living arrangement is gonna work.
LORI: NOSECRETS
LORI: why?
REED: Because I clicked.
LORI: dude areyou hot forme?
REED: I don't even know what to make of that, I had to close the window.
LORI: thats not even as worse as it gets
REED: DO NOT LINK ANYTHING ELSE!
LORI: ugh so no hot gay action?
LORI: fiiine
REED: Woah, wait.
LORI: you said wait
REED: Ok, now I hate you.
REED: I thought you meant lesbians!
LORI: okay okay okay lesbians
REED: Oh no, no more clicking. I don't trust you anymore.
LORI: and that'll teach you never to use my computer
LORI: ever
REED: Promise.
REED: Can we get back to my problem?
REED: Because now my date that may or may not actually be a date has me even more nervous.
LORI: just go with the flow omg
REED: I don't wanna screw things up! I always do.
LORI: you wont screw up
LORI: just beyourself
REED: You mean the forgetful me who doesn't always call the next day?
LORI: ugh the guy who blushes
LORI: ill remind you to call
REED: Good.
LORI: nope
LORI: say 'thank you'
REED: Thank you.
LORI: good
REED: I need the help.
LORI: you really doooo
LORI: ill ask lydia what her opinion is
LORI: shes like a normal girl and all so
REED: Dude, don't give her my name!
LORI: i wont dude youre not the only guy i know
REED: Good.
REED: I mean, thanks.
LORI: stop being a professor lol
REED: I can't.
LORI: i mean stop talking like one
REED: But I AM a professor.
LORI: not when you leave the school you aint
REED: It's not like I check my PhD at the door.
LORI: until you make me a dishwasher out of a soda machine im not taking anything for granted
REED: I could do that.
LORI: really
REED: Yeah, well, with the help of some spare parts in my apartment.
LORI: or a magazine rack?
LORI: like thiiiiis
LORI: http://www.poetichome.com/wp-content/up
LORI: i want thiiiiiiiiiiiiis
REED: I could do that.
LORI: so pretty
REED: I'll make one for you.
LORI: yay
REED: But after I move in, okay?
LORI: okay!
LORI: so you still moving in then?
REED: I suppose. I have a feeling maybe you're testing me by trying to freak me out.
LORI: im always testing people
LORI: so far youvepassed everything
REED: Yeah?
LORI: yea
REED: Awesome.
REED: Alright, you go back to bed. I'm gonna try to start packing.
LORI: okaaaay
LORI: have a good one
REED: You too, but not TOO good of one.
LORI: hey!
REED: Just sayin'.
LORI: hmmm
REED: Bye!
LORI: bye!