TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSIONS of Rape Culture, Sexism, Trans-Phobia, Homophobia, Classism, Racism etc
Clarity is, I think, always the best policy. Today, people were somewhat shocked and offended when I implied that humans are born stupid, selfish little assholes and as they grow, while they think they become smarter and perhaps even believe they become less self-centred... more often than not, they don't. People are almost all assholes from birth until death, and I thought it might do everyone some good if I explained what I meant when I say asshole. This isn't a complete list, but I also think it would be almost impossible for most people to get through it without having to checkmark off a few things for themselves.
So as Bill Nye might say, Please... Consider the following:
You may be an asshole if:
1. You’ve ever used the words “gay” “lame” "retard/ed" or “spaz” to describe something ridiculous or stupid. 2. You believe not intending to hurt someone’s feelings absolves you of guilt. 3. You’ve ever started a sentence in the following way “I’m not racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist, BUT -- “ 4. If you think “in the kitchen” or “prison rape” jokes are funny. 5. If you think being friends with a poc means you’re NOT a racist. 6. You think women are obligated to remove their body hair -- any of it. 7. You pity disabled individuals 8. You get defensive when someone calls you a misogynist, racist or homophobic 9. You’ve ever asked a woman if she’s on her period when she’s angry at you 10. You think ‘affirmative action’ takes jobs away from people like you. 11. You think bisexuals are greedy and need to make up their minds (or that they don’t exist) 12. You think it’s possible to be sexist towards men or racist towards white people. 13. You think being a strong woman involves revoking femininity 14. You believe there is such a thing as too many sexual partners 15. Honestly, you know that there are certain things that men can do better than women. 16.You’ve ever used the terms “prude” or “slut” to describe a woman. 17. You consider yourself “colour-blind”. 18. You think women who dress provocatively harm “feminism” 19. You find websites like “People of Wal-mart” funny. 20. To you, intelligence can be measured in how much money was spent on post-secondary education. 21. You think overweight people are always unhealthy and need your advice. 22. “I’d like to be friends with more persons of colour” is a thought you’ve had. 23. You’ve told someone to be considerate of your feelings when they’re talking about their own oppression or experience. 24. You’ve ever thought someone wasn’t a REAL man or woman. 25. You think gender identity and sexuality are the same thing.
[Edited to include Joan Watson's additions]
26. You've told a woman she was being "too sensitive" to invalidate her feelings. 27. You've said that you just don't find people from a marginalized group - people of a certain ethnicity, trans* people, etc - attractive, and think that just can't be helped. 28. You've spoken over a person who was speaking about their own experiences with oppression, or policed their tone. 29. You think people choose to be offended, and that they should get over it. 30. You think that any amount of theoretical knowledge about a subject - racism/sexism/homophobia - makes you qualified to educate or correct any person who actually experiences one of those things.