ᛏᛟᚾᛁ ᛋᛏᚨᚱᚲ (iron) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2015-04-30 20:22:00 |
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Tony settled into the restaurant around fifteen minutes before Maria was set to arrive. He’d picked this place intentionally. Not because it was five star, had a great wine list or was a little bit pricy, but because it wasn’t invasive. The music here was low key, so they wouldn’t have to shout at each other, and the clientele was elite enough that they wouldn’t be bothered. There was always a chance they might get caught by a cameraman, that was kind of a risk unfortunately associated with being anywhere with Tony Stark, but otherwise, they’d probably have the opportunity to just talk and maybe cut through whatever stoicness that Maria felt she had to deal with in her quest to be better talking to people, socialising, or whatever else it was that SHIELD wanted her to be doing. Honestly, he was a little curious about where she’d been when she’d disappeared over the last few months. He wouldn’t say he was worried, exactly. He’d once thought both Coulson and Jasper Sitwell had been dead, after all, and then they’d turned up so he assumed that SHIELD agents were either very resilient -- or magic. And as far as he was concerned, Hill was far more impressive than Coulson had ever been. He liked her. He was fond of her, and really if he’d been asked, he probably wouldn’t have thought she’d had a problem forging connections with people. But then, he supposed, people wouldn’t be quick to say that about him either. He understood. For Stark, fake it until you make it wasn’t just a saying, it was a way of life. When he was in front of crowd, when he was razzle dazzling his way through a senate hearing or speech, he felt more like he was channelling his father than being himself. It was hard work, doing the things he had to do to maintain the billionaire philanthropist bullshit that people bought into and associated with him. The truth was, really, that he was far more at ease when he was alone in his workshop, tinkering away at armour or other weapons that the Avengers could use. He liked being by himself, or if not that, then hanging out with Bruce and working out problems and quirks to make the team’s arsenal better. There were a few other people who he felt like he could be around and be comfortable, like Rhodes, Happy and Pepper, but most other people either stressed him out or made him feel like he had to be “on” and spending energy just to keep his head above water. Honestly, sometimes he wished that he could include Steve on that list. He liked spending time with him, he liked talking to him, but he couldn’t really get past the fact that Rogers intimidated him. There was always this nagging fear in the back of his mind that Steve, like his father, would judge him and find that he was left wanting. He didn’t know why he felt this way, he knew that Steve and Howard couldn’t be less alike, but he supposed that it must have had something to do with the fact his dad had always spoken so highly of Steve and so little of him. He assumed that whatever it was his dad saw in him that disappointed, Steve would probably be able to see it too. When Stark caught a glimpse of the blue jacket that he’d bought for Maria, when she entered the restaurant, he straightened up a little, smiling attentively as the waiter directed her over to his table. She looked nice, really, and he was happy that she hadn’t objected too strongly to what he’d picked out for her. He did like to think he had a knack for that kind of thing. As she drew closer, he stood up, moving to her side of the table to pull her chair out, and greet her properly. “You look great. Which, I suppose, is a compliment to us both.” He shrugged, self-deprecatingly. “But hi, and I’m glad you could make it.” Maria had convinced Barton to help her out with getting ready. And she seriously wanted to know why he had been a makeup artist in Taiwan that time, but the details were not forthcoming. Still, he did a better job on her hair and makeup than she would have managed. Somehow she thought this place expected more than a ponytail and slap-dash eyeliner and mascara. It wasn’t until she was sitting in the car Stark sent that she began to wonder just what the hell she was doing. She almost fussed the necklace right off its chain. She rolled her eyes at herself as her hand dropped into her lap. This was just another training session, learning a new skill. Right? Right. Tony had stepped up to help her out. She owed him one for this. It wasn’t Hill’s first time riding in a car, nor her first walking heels and a dress. Ask her to fight in either like Romanoff and she’d laugh in your face. So it was with possibly a surprising grace she exited the car, entered the restaurant and followed her guide to Tony. She smiled for the compliment neither preening nor dissembling. “Thanks. You did a better job than I would have.” The chair thing was a little confusing at first. Was he checking it for surveillance devices or traps? Then she recalled oh yeah. That’s an etiquette protocol. Now if only she could sit and be slid in without falling on her ass. The attempt wasn’t the most graceful, but it wasn’t an ultimate failure. “Were you waiting long?” she asked as she set the clutch purse on the table. It might be a little weightier than other women’s, but that was only because of the snub nose pistol she’d stashed in it. Fat chance she went out unarmed. “Just long enough to bribe the staff into giving us a seat.” Stark said as he settled back in, on his side of the table. He glanced sideways at her clutch purse and smirked. Tony wasn’t exactly Sherlock Holmes, by any means, but spending long enough in the weapons business to earn the moniker Merchant of Death definitely meant that he knew what a gun in a purse looked like when he saw one. A few times he thought about offering SHIELD a whole make-over on their operations, but since it turned out that that meant arming HYDRA with the most advanced weapons possible, he was pretty glad that that hadn’t been a decision he’d gone through with. But Jasper had almost had him, a few times. Tony adjusted the silverware in front him, straightening it out gently. “So what kind of wine do you like?” He figured if he got all of the technical aspects of dinner out of the way, it would be easier for the both of them to just unwind a little bit into conversation. Not that he knew what that conversation would be about just yet. It was almost funny. He had no problem talking to Maria on the network, and he’d certainly been chatty at the Poker Night, but now that they were in some semi-formal situation that demanded it, he didn’t know where to start. But wasn’t that just the way? Things had always been a bit similar with Pepper. The two of them had always worked better in nontraditional couple situations than they ever had when expectations were placed on them. The same could be said for what was happening with Bruce. In no way would he ever consider Bruce his boyfriend, or anything like that. Not really. There just wasn’t a word for having sex with your best friend on a semi-regular basis, and “with benefits” just really didn’t cut it. Hell, if there were “benefits” to being Bruce’s friend, he’d have considered them to be Banner’s genius, his sarcasm, his commitment to Stark Industries and the Avengers and everything he brought to the table as an intellectual equal and rival long before he’d think about adding sex to the list. Which wasn’t to say Bruce wasn’t good at it. It was just that he was good at a lot of things. He just liked letting things happen with people he liked without anyone else weighing in on what it meant, didn’t mean or deciding how much things did or didn’t matter. Maybe that was because he was a public figure and so used to scrutiny over his business decisions, his Avengers engagements and his private life. Or maybe it was just because he spent a lot of time rejecting norms whenever they came his way. He’d never been great at doing things just because he was supposed to. She could understand Stark Industries’ reluctance to enter into a contract with SHIELD knowing now what they did. Of course now SHIELD was ostensibly HYDRA free, and their budget, supply sources, etc, were looking pretty grim. Granted it wasn’t Maria’s place to try to work on new resource contracts. Hell, she didn’t even know what her place was anymore. She’d only recently learned they had no ranking system, just a series of divisions. She wasn’t sure she liked that, not after all the effort she put into getting where she was. Coming home from the Antarctic revealed a bunch of things to her that had her world turned into something she didn’t understand. Now add this new skill set she was supposed to learn, and it was a wonder she hadn’t gone back to the far, far south. Speaking of that skill set, Tony asked her a question. For a brief moment she looked panicked then confused. “Alcoholic?” she said with a smirk. Her fingers brushed across her forehead in a nervous gesture. “Red, I suppose. Sweet. Beer is easier, but this doesn’t look like the type of place where you ask what’s good on tap.” She gave Tony a helpless shrug with a matching sheepish smile. She really was bunk at this stuff. Out of a sick sense of curiosity she thought about when she’d last gone out for dinner, and could only come up with some covert surveillance operations and undercover work. Some people would call that pathetic. She called it dedication to her job. “Red, we can do.” He slid the wine list over to his side of the table and committed a few options to memory. He’d ask the waiter which was sweeter bottle when he strolled by and checked ‘accommodating’ off the mental list of date objectives he’d created decades ago. He was a good person to go out with in that regard, he made sure to do all the things someone ought to, without ever making the motions seem robotic or impersonal, no matter who he was out with. Maria though, she was unique. While he didn’t know her as well as he did Pepper, and he hadn’t spent as much time with her as he had Steve, he knew her world to a certain degree and they understood enough of each other’s lives and secrets that he didn’t have to pretend his way through a conversation. They could actually talk about things that mattered, and while SHIELD, the Avengers and Potts Tower weren’t necessarily topics that would come up on most of her social outings, pretending that ‘work’ didn’t exist or wasn’t as important to them as it obviously was felt awkward and strained. They weren’t here to barter deals or talk shop, (at least he hoped they weren’t. SHIELD agents had been less than honest with their intentions with him in the past. Though, Natalie Rushman was a great assistant and incredibly missed as a Stark employee) but they knew the same people and they could absolutely discuss their shared concerns about them, without turning this into a business dinner. “Thank you for your help, yesterday.” He said lightly, pushing the wine list back to the side of the table. “Did you get to see Rogers at all, without the serum?” Steve might have been small in stature, shorter than Tony and the kind of thin that disappeared when he turned sideways, but even like that Stark would have never called him frail, never dismissed him. He might have looked like he had the constitution of a baby bird, but there was still something about the way he carried himself that made him seem so much larger than he was. He had presence, really, and was self-assured in ways that Tony still wasn’t even with all his fame, fortune and Iron Man suits. He understood a little better, he thought, why Bucky had followed him around Brooklyn in their youth, pulling Rogers out of fights that he threw himself into. There was just something about him that made you believe in going wherever he did because you knew it was the right place to be. It was no secret that he and Rogers didn’t always agree. That was part of why Tony had wanted Steve to be the leader of the Avengers, choosing him over himself. He’d rather be the opposition than have the deciding vote, and after the mess his father had made with SHIELD, HYDRA and Project Paperclip, he felt like someone with Steve’s level of moral optimism would stop him from making those kinds of mistakes. Losing his physical enhancements hadn’t changed any of that, and Tony considered him their leader even when he temporarily took the lead to organise the troops. “No, I didn’t,” she answered. So apparently they would talk about SHIELD and work. Maria had thought that was a forbidden subject during this...outing...thing. Part of her was relieved, because outside of work she really had nothing much to talk about. There was no Maria Hill without SHIELD. That was a large reason why the HYDRA infiltration and Project Insight had been such a blow. She knew without a doubt that she wasn’t compromised, but convincing others of that had been…is...difficult. Rogers’ distrust stung. “I got the impression he didn’t want many visitors,” she said as everything about her took on the Agent she was. Shoulders back, hands resting lightly in her lap. Confident. She didn’t realize that translated into this circumstance as well, but gave an entirely different impression. “Besides, I was making myself available to anyone needing assistance.” She hadn’t been called in for anything there, either. Not by SHIELD, SWORD nor individual. Doubt was beginning to lay an uncomfortable egg within her, but she refused to entertain it. Blake had said she hadn’t been retired. She hadn’t been assigned to a division, however, and Fury had been noticeably quiet. Blake had suggested she speak with William’s. It was on the list. Then she recalled the conversation with Rogers while Barton was getting her ready. “He says hi, by the way.” That felt awkward. Her expression flinched a little. “I spoke with him online while I was being made ready. Uh,” oh this could be. “I told him about tonight. So he’s in the line of confidence.” Was this supposed to have been kept quiet? Was this supposed to have been classified? She told Barton because the bottle of nail polish and set of makeup that had come with the dress had panicked her. She hadn’t wanted to tell Rogers, but that one little mistake... "Oh yeah? No, no it doesn't matter if he knows what I'm -- we're -- up to. Honestly I don't think he pays attention to half of what I do anyway." It wasn't like he hadn't mentioned his dinner with Maria to Steve because he felt it was one big secret, he just didn't think Rogers would care enough to even know why Tony was asking. He considered Steve his friend, obviously, but he got the distinct impression that Rogers considered him a colleague first and foremost and he hadn't wanted to clutter up whatever was on Steve's plate with random information about his personal plans. He'd told Pepper, too, when he'd asked her to go to Dorian and Tony's wedding with him. Her response has been slightly chilly, a little awkward, but he'd been prepared for that. Although, he wasn't sure if it was because she didn't want him spending time with other women, or just that people would ask her about it. As far as most of the world was aware, they were the same couple as always. They went out together, or appeared side-by-side at Stark Industries events and opportunities. But marriage wasn't going to work for them, and when those plans had fallen through, they'd had to recalibrate. And of course they would, and whatever happened he wanted Pepper to be a part of his life for the rest of it. It didn't matter how, or what that looked like; if they were meant to share a bedroom or only office space -- he just needed her. Tony leaned to one side to signal the waiter over, tapping the menu with a finger once before asking the waiter’s opinion on which was the sweeter wine, the ‘95 Les Gaudichots or the ‘12 Ampodium. The waiter suggested the Gaudichots and Stark accepted it before turning his attention back to Hill. He tried not to focus too much on what it meant that Steve knew he was out on a date (if this was a date) instead of seeing him. He’d put off his physical by a day because he hadn’t wanted to reschedule on Hill, but now he was a little worried Steve might think Tony didn’t find his well-being all that important. “The time off was probably good for him, though. Having a few days where we made him take it easy. I think watching Star Wars is a pretty important moment in anyone’s life, honestly.” He wasn’t about to bring up the fact he saw the first one in theatres when he was seven. There was really never a good reason to remind someone how much older he probably was. “Well, it was my mistake he found out in the first place,” she said as she smoothed a stray lock of her hair from her forehead. Geez! She had to remind herself not to fuss with things too much or she’d end up rubbing her eye, scratching her head and looking like a demented raccoon after a static shock. “I had the phone on voice activated, and spoke without backspacing when I realized what time it was.” She grimaced a little as she tilted her head. “Y’know, for a boy scout he can be pretty nosey when he wants to be.” She’d never lie to Rogers if he asked her a pointed question, and he so had. It had made Maria a bit uncomfortable, especially with Barton looking over her shoulder as he worked on her hair. There shouldn’t have been a reason for her to feel awkward. The fact that she did annoyed her but only mildly. “I did make sure he understood this wasn’t a date. He apparently came to that conclusion. I’m not sure why.” Maybe Tony could shed some light on that. A smirk pulled her lips to one side after Tony ordered the wine. ”I always settled for Target adult juice box table red and felt clever.” She chuckled quietly. Honestly, it was like she said. Sure, she enjoyed the sweeter wines, but talk about beer and she got a bit snobby about it. “I don’t know,” she said in reply to Rogers enjoying the time off. “He didn’t seem to panic, but I don’t think he liked feeling vulnerable.” “Who among us likes to feel vulnerable?” Tony shook his head. “I think Steve gets -- angry, maybe, about his limitations. And just refuses to accept them. But it’s probably a lot difficult to ignore your own boundaries when you’re around people who have certain expectations. But -- I mean, I had to look down at him, instead of up, but otherwise he was really no different to me than always.” Tony had a pretty good idea why Steve might have jumped to the ‘date’ conclusion, and it had a lot less to do with the fact Rogers was a bit old fashioned than it did the fact Tony had a reputation. Stark was, after all, his father’s son -- and Howard dated a lot of women in very short-term arrangements. But that wasn’t what he was about to say. “He’s from the forties though, what do you expect? Men and women didn’t socialise alone back then unless they were getting married.” Tony could almost hear his father laughing at that statement. But he was pretty sure Howard and Steve had very different ideas about that kind of conduct. “Which, honestly? I’m glad we don’t have to deal with that kind of thing anymore. Really, I’ve never been a big fan of ‘dating’ anyway. What is that even about? How can you really expect to get to know someone when you sit down to dinner with them and try to go through some weird, uncomfortable ritual. Right? You’re not going to learn anything about who I am by sitting here that you didn’t know already. And I know that this -- the dresses and the fancy wine -- isn’t who you are either. This is a social exercise, you know? I think both of us would be a lot happier in a sports bar with fifteen dollar pitchers and a pool table -- and if this was any kind of a thing, that's where I'd take you -- know that none of this impresses you.” He meant that as a compliment. The people in his life that meant the most to him, like Bruce and Pepper -- even Steve -- didn't care and weren't amazed by the wealth or the etiquette that went along with his social standing and Tony appreciated that. This, the fine dining and the fancy dress, was so much more a suit of armor than Iron Man was. "But I hoped that forcing you - gently - into a situation that was probably a bit unfamiliar would be the best way to help. Sometimes being a little uncomfortable or a little off balance just helps with the focus." SHIELD had trained the feeling of vulnerability out of its Agents. Hill had lost most of it years before that from her martial arts. Emotionally vulnerable? That was entirely different, and something she avoided like the plague from a very young age. Having a father that repeatedly told you that you killed your mother upon your birth kind of dulled that sense of rejection. Just a bit. “What makes Rogers him isn’t the shield, the uniform or the serum,” she said quietly. “It’s his perspective. He sees things differently than most of the rest of the world. Somehow his view point remains unjaded. Not that he’s naive by any stretch of the imagination, but he sees the best possibility and tries to make that happen.” And Maria had no freaking idea how Rogers did it. The lengthy diatribe about the dating scene and how useless it was made her brows lift. Maria thought the whole thing was absolutely pointless herself, and had since high school, but Tony’s reasoning surprised her. Just maybe not how it might be assumed. “Stark,” she said quizzically. “Are you nervous?” He kind of rambled. Nervous people ramble. Granted, Tony rambled a lot normally, but put together with what little she knew about social situations, nervousness wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. “Nervous?” He shook his head. It wasn’t quite the jitters that got him talking, so much as the fact he somehow felt the need to emphasize how much that this whole scene wasn’t his. And that might have been born out of the fact that he did like and respect Maria and he did want her to like him too. Not because he was interested in romantic escapade, but because it was important to him that she did. “No, not -- no. Not really. I just don’t want you to think I’m peacocking around because I have some insidious motives.” Talking about Steve, that was easier, and so with a gentle dip of his head, he punted the conversation back in that direction. “So far as I can tell, Rogers has always been like that, too. My Dad used to talk about him -- all the time, actually. He left quite the impression on him during the war.” Tony grew up collecting the comics that came out during the war, reading the stories and watching the documentaries about the great Captain America who sacrificed himself to single-handedly wipe out HYDRA’s power during WWII. He grew up hearing stories about his father’s expeditions for Steve, knowing that Howard spent time and money never giving up a search that by all accounts, should have been abandoned. Meeting Steve had been a complicated experience, because it had stirred up a lot of debris that remained with Tony after the death of his father, but most of that had settled now. They weren’t battling out their egos or trying to gain ground on each other anymore, but had shifted into something more comfortable and honest. He wouldn’t say ‘like a married couple’ because most of the married couples he’d spent time around were unhappy. His parents, Howard and Maria Stark had basically slept in separate rooms his whole life. It really reminded Tony more of how his father had always been with Peggy -- that kind of joint respect and mutual accountability was, by all accounts, the ideal. |