Spider-Man (Peter Parker) (webdesign) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2015-04-08 21:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, !network post, peter parker / spider-man (mcu), teddy altman / hulkling (616) |
Who: Teddy Altman and Peter Parker
When: Yesterday -- April 7th, just before the storm starts.
Where: A random rooftop in NYC
What: Talking about breakups.
Rating: Low.
It was a nice day, with a nice breeze. Teddy laid on his back on the roof, his feet propped up by an air conditioner. A skateboard lay a few feet away. He was tired of trying to stay on the damn thing. He looked up at the sky-- it was covered in clouds and the sun was hidden behind a curtain of them. The two of them were attempting to practice skateboarding again. When Teddy just couldn’t get the hang of it, they went into an alleyway and scrambled up the wall. Well, Peter crawled, Teddy flew. He craned his neck to look over to Peter. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to do it. I’m big boned.” “Nope, sorry, nuh-uh. That’s not how the physics work.” Peter sat on the roof ledge, his back towards the thirty-story drop behind him as he stretched casually and leaned forward to re-tie the laces of his Converse shoes. “It just takes practice.” Hanging out with Teddy was a bit different than the time he’d spent with David, and a lot different than the time he’d spent with Harry, but they were settling into an easy, uncomplicated kind of friendship which was really what Peter needed right now. He was slowly trying to piece together what had happened at the end of January, but it was hard having to do it on his own. He hadn’t really wanted to approach Gwen with it, he was nervous that Ben Reilly might be too quick to villainize and dismiss Osborn if he knew what happened, and the group of teenagers who’d just come through from another universe like this one interested him, but left him feeling a bit unsettled. Maybe it was their timing, or maybe it was the fact that he’d struggled a lot with what his place in this world should be, and his role as Spider-man, and the more people around him who knew him and got on just fine without him, the more redundant he felt. With Teddy, Hulkling, he didn’t feel that way at all. They didn’t really have to talk about anything heavy and there wasn’t some tension in the air about failed relationships or expectations based on how different Peter Parkers were in different worlds. He knew that Altman was going through some stuff right now with his ex-boyfriend Billy, and he figured that it meant this friendship was probably good for him too. A way to step away from under the umbrella of that drama and exist for a few hours without the baggage. “You’ll get it.” Teddy blew a raspberry. “What do you know about physics?” He knew that Peter was a friggin’ genius, so that was kind of a dumb question. But he felt like he could be stupid around Peter. He could joke. He could let himself go a little bit. He realized that if Billy was the only person he could be himself around-- well, he should change that. He shouldn’t depend on one person so much. Because you could lose them at any moment. You have to spread out those feelings. You have to share with more than one person. “I wish the clouds weren’t like this. I wanna see some bunny shaped ones, you know? Overcast is so meh.” Talking about the weather, god you’re boring, Ted. He sat up and reached for the board, sitting himself down on that. Scooting one way and the other. “Spring has sprung, the grass has ris -- I wonder where the flowers is.” Peter put his hand over his heart as he recited the verse from memory and then smiled at Teddy. “It’s warming up, we’ll get out of this gloomy overcast stuff soon enough, I’m sure. But you’re right. Like, at least it’s a little warmer out, but I’m really ready for the summer in this city. The excitement of webslinging in spandex in January doesn’t last very long, I’ve got to say.” He switched to re-tie the laces of his other shoe before reaching into his backpack and pulling out a couple bottles of diet coke. He handed one over to Altman. “So how are things going for you and the other members of your team, you know, the Young Avengers. I imagine it’s got to be pretty great to have most of them here.” And it was why he’d thought about reaching out to the kids who knew a Spider-Man that was just a bit younger than he was, but he still wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Something about being a replacement just didn’t feel quite right. Part of that might have been the fact that didn’t seem too keen on reaching out to him, but mostly he figured that it all felt more off to him than it did to them. Maybe that was what happened when you realised that there were actual living breathing clones of you running around all over the place. You started to really get nervous about where you fit in the grander scheme of things. Particularly when clones and other Peter Parkers seemed to have a much better idea of how to be him than he did. They were better at the job, better at taking care of the people they cared about, and better at relationships and romance too. It made him question where he fit. Teddy mumbled a thanks and took the soda. He busied himself with loosening the cap. “Ah, uh, haven’t really talked to them much lately.” The breakup was weird. He didn’t want to put them in the middle of it. And Tommy’s reaction to Billy being with Loki wasn’t the best. He didn’t want anyone to pity him-- or like Xavin, blame Billy. The only thing that made Teddy feel better in his own head was to imagine he was dead… and he came back to life. That would have been the only thing to make Billy leave him. The Tesseract was the one to blame. Fickle, stupid thing. “To be honest, I’ve done most of my Young Avengering with you.” Teddy shrugged and took a drink of his soda. “It’s just weird, you know? They’ve all been here for awhile. I feel a little bit like I’m crashing a party.” He paused for a bit before bringing up the other stuff-- “And then Cassie went back. So everyone’s kind of depressed about that.” “You know, with Cassie and David both leaving, though, they could probably use the support of having someone they know and care about around more -- I mean, it’s just a suggestion, and I know what with, um, Billy, it’s probably not an easy thing to do right now but they’re your friends, and I’m sure they’re all really glad that you’re here.” Peter couldn’t talk about the loss of friends and not start fixating on that night, and the look on Harry’s face when he’d all but taken him down with the glider he’d stolen from the OsCorp labs. He knew he’d almost died that night, knew that Harry was hellbent on killing him and would have have he not realised that Spider-Man and Parker were the same person. What happened to Harry after that, and where his friend was now, was a constant thought in the back of Peter’s mind. It didn’t bother him at all that Osborn had gone off the rails and tried to hurt him, his real concern was whether or not Harry was all right, if he remembered anything and if he was being treated for the disease that threatened to take his life. “I spent some time with Kate. She’s taking it the hardest.” He fidgeted with the soda bottle. “Yeah, they’re my friends, too. I mean, I’m still friends with him. It’s just … hard to be around him. He touched me, like, the littlest thing, and I pulled away. Because I didn’t want to want him to touch me more.” Teddy sighed and raked his fingers down his face. “Auuugh, I’m sorry.” Teddy always felt selfish when things were about him. Conversations usually were Teddy urging the other person to talk more. “Are you weird like that around your ex? How long has it been since you broke up?” “No? Yes. Maybe.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at the sky. It was really starting to look like they might have a storm starting up soon, so chilling on the roof might not be a good idea, unless they were interested in being stuck in a downpour. Superhero movies really romanticised the whole heroes-in-the-rain thing, when in actuality, trying to take off wet spandex was the worst thing in the world, and he always felt like like he’d never be warm again once he finally got out of the Spider-suit. “We broke up a couple months ago it was -- my fault. It was totally my fault. Gwen started developing these powers you know? From the White Event happenings and I just --” This was always the hardest thing to talk about, because it wasn’t just about Gwen, but it was about her father too. Peter felt a lot of guilt for what the Lizard did to Captain Stacy, probably about as much guilt as Doc Connors did. He was the one who’d played with the doctor’s genetic algorithms which led to the creation of the Lizard, and had he’d just kept his nose out of other people’s business, nothing bad would have happened to anyone -- hell, even his Uncle Ben might still be alive. “It was just really important to me that she didn’t get involved with trying to save the world, because I love her, and I didn’t want her to get hurt. But I didn’t take into account, I guess, what she wanted and what her decisions were.” He shrugged. He knew he screwed up and there was no way defend that. “I’ve been trying to be more supportive of it now, you know? Her powers are developing all the time and if she wants to do this -- what we do -- then it’s not my place to stop her. But it’s hard, and talking to her is hard. We’re trying to be friends, and she’s just -- she’s probably one of the most important people in my life, and she always will be, but I have a hard time opening up to her or talking to her -- about all the stuff that’s happened since she went to England. I just feel bad about making my problems her burden when she’s trying so hard to live her own life how she wants to.” Teddy nodded when Peter said it was my fault. He knew what that felt like. Now, they can tell Teddy a million times that it wasn’t his fault. The Tesseract did it. They could say it’s Billy’s fault (which would make him Super Mad). But Teddy felt he was the one at fault. He was the one who left. If there was just some way he could go back and somehow stop himself from leaving. If he could have-- It was stupid. Teddy quirked an eyebrow, “What are her powers?” He vaguely knew Gwen. She was tiny, nerdy, and blonde. He couldn’t see her as a superhero. Just like-- could anyone think Billy was a superhero? “No, I understand that. I keep going to Billy with my problems, like Xavin and even dealing with him leaving me. I’m like this emotional wreck who can’t keep it together. I can’t keep bothering him and Loki or Loki’s going to start getting annoyed with me. And that’s something I do. Not. Need.” He wasn’t scared of Loki. Perhaps a little scared. Dude’s a God. Teddy tilted his head up a little when a breeze passed by them. The city smelled familiar. It smelled like Spring. It reminded him of another time. “Oh, she’s basically a mermaid. When she’s in water, she gets super strong and she can breathe and stuff. It’s interested. I suggested maybe making her a suit that would keep water against her skin or something, so she could use her powers when she’s not under the sea, but -- I still don’t want her to get hurt. I still don’t want her around me if it puts her at risk.” Peter thought for a moment about what Altman was saying, and he understood. It was hard not turning to the person that he thought knew him best when he needed help or guidance. He felt like if he talked to Gwen about everything that had happened with Harry, she’d offer him sound and solid advice -- she would probably go out of her way to try to help him however she could, and it wasn’t as though he didn’t want or need her help. It just felt like asking for it would be asking too much. “There’s nothing wrong with being an emotional wreck, and there’s nothing wrong with needing someone’s help, you know.” Obviously, it was easier to give someone else the advice he knew he wouldn’t follow. “And I guess so long as you’re respecting his decisions and what he wants, then you’re doing a whole lot better with all of this than I did. Honestly, that was my big mistake.” “A mermaid? Does she sing and kill sailors?” Teddy waggled his eyebrows. “I mean, you’re not standing in her way anymore, are you? Even if you did for a short time, it only matters what happens in the end. If you are still telling her to stop, that’s a problem.” Teddy scooted his skateboard closer to Peter and reached out to yank on one of his shoelaces. “Does it get easier, though? The urge to be close to them, to run to them for everything?” Billy was everything to him. His best friend, he even thought maybe they were soulmates-- which now made him feel foolish. You don’t marry your high school sweetheart. People who did that were miserable. You need room to grow. So your roots don’t get tangled up. “Having other friends helped, David, actually, was a big help when he was here.” Osborn had even suspected that Peter had had a bit of a crush on Alleyne at one point in time, but Parker had remained completely oblivious to both Harry’s theories and any potential crush, if it had even existed. He slid his foot closer to Hulkling’s and tapped the side of the other boy’s shoe with it. “But Billy isn’t -- “ Gone. Like Harry was, like David was now. He was lucky he had the time with Gwen to fix things and let them feel out what they wanted to mean to each other, and he wished he had the same opportunity with Osborn, especially now that there was so much else that needed to be understood. “I mean he’s still here. You have the time right now to figure stuff out and I think if you do, and if you try -- yeah, I think it does get easier.” More advice that was easier to dish out than it was to take to heart. He tried with Gwen, he tried to be happy, cheerful, even act like everything was fine and dandy when it wasn’t. He wanted it to be easier for her, and easier for her to move on if she wanted to, and he’d do everything he could to make that possible -- even if taking the high road and doing what he thought was the right thing to do, broke his heart every single time. Teddy wanted to say he’s as good as gone. But that was insensitive… and Peter might not understand. Billy and Loki were perfect together and Teddy wondered how Billy ever wanted to be with him. Pity Party, and you’re invited. “You’re helping me,” he said, looking up at Peter from his seat on the skateboard. The other boy looked kind of angelic, surrounded by those grey clouds. He stood out. “Yeah, he’s still here,” he said while threading his fingers into his hair and looking away. “We can probably be friends. We have to be.” It made him immensely sad to think of a life without Billy in it at all. “You’re helping me too.” Peter admitted with a quiet half-smile. Maybe it was because Teddy was young, and a hero like he was so it was easy to relate to him, or maybe it was because they were both in similar situations -- a little lost, a little uncertain about where they stood in the world around them and both just a bit devastated over a loss of love, but it felt good just to be someone’s friend and feel like they got you without a lot of context, and without comparing you to someone else, which is how he always felt around people who knew the other Peter Parker, or another Spider-Man. This was good, it felt nice. Even if they were both under a shadow of feelings they didn’t know what to do about. And under a shadow of clouds. “You know, it really looks like it’s going to rain. We should probably get inside somewhere.” Being with someone who got it-- it made Teddy feel good. He wasn’t alone, he wasn’t a weirdo, it could get better. It was so much easier to open up to Peter than anyone else… his problems weren’t the biggest ones right now. Teddy sighed and stood up, stomping on the end of the board. He wanted to do that thing where one catches it, but failed. The board clattered to the ground. “Yeah, we’ll work on that.” |