Mara Jade is SHIELD's ☕ Queen (marajade) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2014-07-24 22:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, mara jade, phil coulson (mcu) |
RP Log; Phil Coulson & Mara Jade
Who: Mara Jade & Phil Coulson
When: July 17(ish), 2014
Where: New Mexico
What: A conversation between two former SHIELD agents.
Rating: Low
Status: COMPLETE.
The chaos of the last few days (had it really been days? Phil wondered. It felt like minutes and years all at the same time.) meant that although he’d seen Natasha’s look-a-like around, he hadn’t actually gotten the chance to talk to her. He’d meant to, more than once. He knew that for her to be around Fury now meant something significant, and he knew that he was grateful to have them there. If it hadn’t been for Fury’s intervention -- Phil closed his eyes. He knew that he, Trip, Skye and May could have handled Cybertek on their own. They hadn’t needed Fury for that. What they’d needed Fury for was much, much more important. If it hadn’t been for him, they probably would have never seen Fitz and Simmons alive again. That alone meant a great deal to Phil. Despite his numerous problems with some of the decisions Fury had made over the last few years, he would always be in debt to the other man for rescuing the scientists. That didn’t mean things between the former Director and his mentee were better, though. As far as Phil was concerned, they were completely separate issues. “I’m not sure we’ve had the pleasure of meeting yet,” he announced once he tracked her down. He knew of Mara Jade, of course - he knew the names of a good number of refugees, particularly those who’d worked for SHIELD at some point - but although they circled around each other, their jobs had been different enough to keep them too busy to socialize. “Agent --” He hesitated for a moment. He’d given a speech in the middle of the Canadian wilderness about how they were all still agents of SHIELD, but they weren’t, technically. They were just people - people who had the same goals in mind, people who wanted to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. He smiled. “Phil Coulson.” It was no surprise to Mara Jade that Coulson had tracked her down. Truthfully it would have been a surprise if he hadn’t, because she’d gathered bits and pieces from Nick. It was only bits and pieces, but it was enough that paired with her own sense of people and her knowledge of Nick, she had been anticipating a conversation with the other agent, or not agent - that was perhaps a bit complicated these days. She shifted tilting her head and angling her stance slightly so that it invited rather than closed off. If he was curious about her, she was equally curious about him, and while she recognized his face from SHIELD and the network, she had never had cause to speak to him and so she simply hadn’t. But the world had changed and SHIELD had disappeared and they all needed to know their allies, or potential allies, and Mara had the suspicion that Coulson fell within that category. She offered him a smile in return. “Mara Jade. Agent…? Jade.” She raised an eyebrow and shrugged: “Officially, just Mara I think.” She hesitated for a moment, not certain where to begin. The questions she was most curious about were not exactly opening conversations among spies. Or former spies. Whatever they were these days. “I can’t say I’m sorry to see this place shut down,” she offered finally. “I had enough experience with Centipede Soldiers in South America to last three lifetimes.” “Just Mara, then.” His smile widened at the thought of his own (lame) joke, and he extended a hand towards her. His line of thinking was similar to hers: they needed all of the allies they could get, because Phil didn’t plan on stopping now, and neither did his team. He hadn’t received verbal confirmation to that extent, but he knew his team. As long as HYDRA was out there, he knew that Trip would be there, for his grandfather’s sake. He knew that although Skye’s vendetta was done, at least temporarily, she had a family with him that she wouldn’t have if she left. He knew that Melinda would stop at nothing to keep him safe, and that they both needed each other. There was still a war out there to fight, and he planned to fight. “I can’t say I’m sorry for that either. Cybertek, Ian Quinn, Centipede, John Garrett, they’ve been a thorn in our side for months. It was about time we pulled it out.” Garrett had been a thorn in SHIELD’s side for years, apparently. That thought continued to nag at him. Garrett, and Jasper… As inconvenient as it’d been to have SHIELD crumble at their feet because of Captain America, Phil knew it’d been for the best. They needed to flush out the bad seeds. “But I am sorry you got caught up in it down there.” Mara took the offered hand and shook it firmly before dropping her own back by her side. Easy access to her lightsaber had become habit in the past month even when there was no cause to think there was any danger coming. She considered Phil’s comment briefly and she shook her head. “I’m not. I mean, yes, I can always stand not getting shot at, but at the same time, if it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else.” Perhaps someone with fewer resources, a less keen danger sense, and it would have meant bodies in the forest that were SHIELD Agents, not HYDRA ones. For all Mara would have chosen to be closer to Jasper -- to able to help him if the possibility or need arose -- she also recognized that she’d gotten her team out alive. And now she was here, helping Nick get other teams out. She had been where she needed to be and she was still someplace she could do some good. “And we left the continent with fewer Centipede Soldiers and HYDRA with fewer resources - so, it was time well spent,” she replied wryly before sobering. Not all of the Agents she and Nick had gone after had been so lucky. The young man that had been on Coulson’s team -- his heart was beating, but life was more than a beating heart. “My team was fortunate. Not all of them have been.” She hesitated a moment and then added: “I think Fury was glad to see you.” She was right. If it hadn’t been her, it probably would have been someone else -- or, worst case, there would have been no one to fight back, and South America would be that much more dangerous. They couldn’t afford to give HYDRA any more of a foothold than they already had. Even if they were going to disable the remaining Centipede soldiers now, Phil couldn’t deny the impact they’d had in solidifying their position across the globe. He wished he’d been able to offer more help, but it seemed she’d done well enough on her own. Her mention of how not all teams had been fortunate made him think of his own, and how close they’d been to losing so much. “No, not all of them have been,” he echoed, casting his gaze at the ground briefly. Had he failed the other teams because he hadn’t been able to get to them? Had he failed Victoria? Phil didn’t know if he’d ever be content to think that he’d done all he could for those they’d lost. He looked back up then, eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Was he?” He wasn’t asking because he didn’t think Fury would be. Fury had broken the laws of nature to keep Phil alive, after all. He was asking because he wanted to know what Fury had told her. He’d been in the black so long that Phil felt unsure with his mentor now. “We all do the best we can with what we have in front of us,” Mara said simply, responding to an emotional flicker that was more instinct than intention. It also gave her a moment to think about what to say and to wonder if she should have said anything about Nick at all. So much of what Mara went on with Nick was pure instinct. She pulled from what was said and equally from what wasn’t. Since she’d returned she couldn’t help but feel that some barrier had dropped or maybe it was simply that two weeks in close proximity had given her an edge at reading those little things that most people would never notice -- Or maybe she was fooling herself with that. Regardless there was so much she didn’t know about Nick Fury. She hadn’t, for instance, expected surprise from Coulson at her statement although she realized she probably should have. It was an easy interrogation tactic. Which left her with the choice of what to say or not. Mara didn’t over-rely on her instincts, but she also didn’t dismiss them. “We’ve spent the past two weeks trying to find agents that have gone dark -- trying to pull them out, or get them resources to get out on their own, before its too late,” she looked over at Coulson. “There’s a lot he doesn’t say, but I pay attention. Some of them are his agents and some of them are his agents.” This time, Phil kept his face passive. He didn’t know Mara well enough to let his guard down that much with her, but inside, his feelings were mixed. He appreciated Fury pulling through at the last minute, and the years they’d known each other made it easy to slip back into the same roles they’d always had, but it didn’t make up for what he’d done. It couldn’t. Fury could spend the rest of his life trying to make up for it, and he still couldn’t take back the betrayal and heartbreak that Phil now felt. He chose not to respond to that part, because he didn’t feel much like one of Fury’s agents. He was just someone who’d been grasping at straws, just someone who’d been trying to stay afloat while his entire existence crumbled around him. He was just someone trying to find his way again in a world that wasn’t what he thought it was. “I hope to be able to lend a hand with that now. We’ve been -- well, we’ve been busy, to say the least.” He smiled again, but it was tight at the edges. “But now that we’ve cut out the diseased limb and I have my plane back, I’ll have some more freedom.” “Clearly,” Mara nodded. “As best I can tell, though, it was work that needed to be done.” There was so much of that and way too few people to do it. That much was easy to deduce even if you weren’t travelling around retrieving agents with the former director of SHIELD. The numbers of SHIELD loyal agents to HYDRA agents even here in this one place had been desperately uneven. It had been the same for her team at the Treehouse. The same every place the world over. This must have been how the Rebel Alliance had felt when they were up against the Empire. “Transportation is good; Clearing out the rats, also good,” Mara said lightly, her eyes still on his face as she tried to work through the unknowns about the man in front of her. “Do you think you’ll keep your team? Mine went back to New York as soon as we got out. Most of them have friends or family there and if it’s not your home...” she shrugged rather than spoke the question ‘why make it your fight?’ “I hope to.” It was a given, as he thought about it. SHIELD was their life, more so than for any of the refugee agents. “It’s easier to …” It wouldn’t have been right to say that they didn’t care, but it was easier to not be as invested. “It’s not as personal,” he corrected. He wouldn’t hold it against someone for not wanting to be part of this fight, because it wasn’t easy. His team had already been on the run for weeks in one form or another, unable to contact family or friends in a reliable manner, often risking their lives knowing that no back-up would be coming. It was a lot to ask for, even of people who’d been born in this world. The difference he could see was that for him, it was personal. John Garrett had once been someone Phil considered a friend. Jasper Sitwell fit into the same description. It was personal. “What about you?” he asked, tilting his head slightly in curiosity. “What are your plans now? I’d offer a job, but I think May might have my head if I tried to replace her.” “It takes time, and proximity,” Mara said softly. “Most of us from different worlds than this one simply haven’t had either. I don’t want to say it’s just a job and speak for everyone, but at the same time once upon a time for me it was just a job. I spent a few months in a safehouse with Fury and some other long time agents and that much togetherness tends to promote a lot of understanding,” she kept her tone light. Right now she would say that she was here because she believed in what SHIELD was doing, and she knew first hand what people that believed like HYDRA could do, but it was also personal. HYDRA had killed, or attempted to kill, two men she cared about a great deal. And when they’d done that, they’d made it very personal and even when she’d thought Nick dead, she was happy to dispense some justice there. She shook her head slightly and turned back to Coulson. “There are agents that even as a Jedi Knight I’d rather not engage, and I think May might be one of those,” she laughed shortly, and gave Coulson warm smile. “I appreciate the offer, although...” She hesitated, once again weighing how much information she should give away, and not just for herself. “At the moment I think I’m where I’m needed,” she said finally. “The world still needs protecting.” Phil knew how easily spending hours upon hours with another person lead to - if not friendship, at least some sort of camaraderie. Even if that person happened to be a sleeper agent for the organization that had once terrorized the world, and then grown again in secrecy. Even then, there was some type of relationship forged in risking one’s lives together, or just in being stuck in cramped quarters together. Some of Phil’s closest friends had been made that way. Agent May was one of them. It was also surprisingly easy, he recalled, for that trust to get damaged. “That’s a smart idea.” The fanboy inside Phil wanted to ask about what being a Jedi knight was like, but he resisted - for now. “The world’s always going to need protecting,” he continued. “Whether it’s from HYDRA or from aliens, or Asgardians hell-bent on world domination.” He had a distant look on his face. “I ran into one of them once. It wasn’t pretty. Anyway, my point is -- normally I’m better at giving speeches. The world’s always going to need help. That’s what we’re here for.” Mara grinned at Coulson’s speech, and nodded. Coulson was mild and likable, two traits that reminded Mara of Jasper and she swallowed back the ache that always came when she thought of Sitwell. The truth was that Mara didn’t know exactly what she and Nick would be doing in the future. And she was also assuming it would be her and Nick, an assumption that she was well aware might be a large one. But sooner rather than later, they were going to have done the best they could for the agents that had been left in the cold and they’d have to turn to other things and Mara hadn’t got much of a hint from him what those would be. That she was currently content with not knowing she told herself was because she was dealing with the things in front of her, not because she didn’t want to know that those future plans might include her being somewhere Fury wasn’t. She supposed if it came to that, it might be good to have Coulson as a contact. Because regardless of her personal life she’d been brought too deeply into all of this to turn her back on it now. “And what else is a Jedi Knight going to do here?” She turned her smile to him. “Guardians of peace and justice and all that.” The military had come in and cleaned things up, with no doubt the notion that this was done. But Mara knew better, and she knew the man beside her understood that truth too. She was quiet for a moment before she glanced over at him and added: “Although the current peace is pretty illusory and justice - well… some justice may never get served,” she said softly, thinking of Jasper. “And as long as there are beings out there who believe the answer to peace is to rule by fear we’ll have our work cut out for us.” “Sightsee?” Phil joked as a way to lighten the mood, but he understood where she was coming from. What else was a SHIELD agent going to do? He’d given up his chance for a normal life in order to protect the world. What choice did he have now but to continue to do the same? She was right on more than one account. They had an uphill battle ahead of them, but it was an important one. Difficulty had never stopped Phil before, and it wasn’t going to now. “You said you were in a safehouse with some agents?” he asked abruptly, remembering when he had to sneak around to see Sitwell and Fury, hiding his activities from his team. “I wasn’t lucky enough to be a part of that, or maybe I was lucky to avoid it. It’s hard to tell. But that explains why he knew he could trust you with this. I’m grateful. We didn’t think we were getting any back-up.” Mara laughed lightly: “You should see my Instagram feed.” Not that she had one, but she’d snapped enough pictures with her mind over the past few weeks. For such a small world -- relative to an entire galaxy of worlds anyway -- this one had a variety of spaces and some of them were, even under current situation, honestly beautiful. If she’d ever been good at vacations this would have been a good time to take one. But she wasn’t, and so this wasn’t. Maybe at some point she’d get Nick on the beach for ten minutes -- there was a challenge for her. The thought made her smile before turning her attention to Phil’s question. “Yeah, you may have noticed Natasha Romanoff and I look rather alike? Even more so when my hair is its natural color. I impersonated her long enough to get the Tesseract out of SHIELD back when the entire place felt wrong, but I didn’t really know why it felt wrong. Of course, I wasn’t going to walk back in the door at that point, so safehouse it was.” It was all public record really, or released record, so there didn’t seem to be any point in hiding. “I learned some systems, played some X-Box, made some pancakes -- Probably it was that last that did it, actually. No one tell the world that Nick Fury makes decisions via Maple Syrup,” she gave Coulson a quick grin before sobering a bit. “Seriously though, that’s what we do. I’m glad to be able to do it.” “It’s hard not to notice that,” Phil commented. It was convenient that they could be each other’s doubles, and Mara had benefited from hardly anyone actually knowing who Natasha really was. You couldn’t question someone if you’d never met the real thing. Still, it was impressive. He wondered if she could have beaten Koenig’s lie detector test, if her Jedi mind tricks would have helped. That made him think more on Ward -- which wasn’t a path he wanted to find himself on. Pancakes weren’t any better, though. “Jasper Sitwell and I used to catch breakfast, when we could,” he mentioned. “Before…” Before Sitwell had gotten tied up in HYDRA, before he’d been too busy digging himself a grave. “It was kind of our thing. In another lifetime, anyway. Now I think I’ve lost my appetite for breakfast foods.” And sushi, for that matter. He continued quickly, trying to shove the memories of his friend back into the box where they came from. “You ever play Call of Duty? I bet you’d be good at that.” So Coulson and Jasper had been friends. Or at least had known each other. Years of practice at keeping her face calm and inscrutable kicked in, but the hesitation in what to say couldn’t be helped. “I know how to work a French Press thanks to Jasper,” she said finally, lightly. There was so much she knew thanks to Jasper. He’d been an unofficial mentor on all things SHIELD and HYDRA, but that was something better left unsaid considering current public knowledge. She knew what she believed, what her intuition, and months of conversations with Jasper told her, but it wasn’t something she could expound on widely and even here - she didn’t know what Coulson knew. “All of it seems like another lifetime ago. It’s hard to believe it was just this year. “Call of Duty though?” She tilted her head and looked over at him. “I haven’t, what is it?” “Same here.” He’d learned how to appreciate high quality coffee because of Jasper, and the importance of finding a diner where you could blend in easily. He’d been reminded of the importance of friendship and loyalty -- although if Jasper had been HYDRA, the strength friendship was in question, and that wasn’t something Phil liked thinking about. He’d lost a lot of good friends because of SHIELD, and because of HYDRA. That was hard to swallow. He met Mara’s gaze briefly, with a strange feeling at the back of his mind, like they were both dancing around something more than what they were saying. He didn’t know how to say that he’d lost one of his best friends, not to a stranger. If she were Melinda, he would talk and she would listen, most likely while doing tai chi. Despite how much Fury appeared to trust her, Mara was still an unknown. “It’s a first-player shooter game, for game consoles or computers. There’s multiplayer now. I know agents who play together now and then, when they can.” Phil was pretty good at it, but he hadn’t played in months. Not since before he got his team together. Before Melinda got the team together, he thought. “Maybe I’ll be able to show you sometime.” Coffee. Breakfast. Mara met Coulson’s gaze for a moment. In truth she suspected Jasper brunched with a lot of people - it was part of the job after all - but both Coulson and Jasper were high level agents, it wasn’t impossible they’d been friends before everything fell apart. It just felt impossible to ask the question right now - especially with all of the additional questions it brought along with it. She offered Coulson a brief smile: “If I’m ever back in New York, and you’re ever back in New York,” there were a lot of if’s there. “You should give me a call and I’ll make you a decent cup of coffee. “And you can show me this Call of Duty,” she added quickly. “It sounds like it could be an enjoyable way to spend some downtime.” Not that she was likely to have any of that recently. Maybe Coulson would, but somehow she suspected not. He didn’t look like the type that was going to throw the towel in any more than she had. There were rather a lot of ‘ifs’ in the whole scenario she’d just offered, really. “It’d be a pleasure.” Phil’s smile was warm and genuine. A cup of coffee and playing video games was something friends did. He didn’t have many friends these days. Of course, the chance that they’d actually find some time to sit down and have a cup of coffee was slim, and he knew that. It was nice to dream, however. He did that a lot, lately. Ever since Jasper was killed, and particularly in the weeks since he’d last seen Audrey. He should have spent more time with the people he cared about, before it was too late. He should have been a better friend, a better boyfriend. He had a lot of regrets, now. “I’ll be sure to look you up sometime. And if you ever need anything…” He couldn’t say he’d always be available to help, but he wanted her to know that he would try, if there was ever anything he could do. He and his team owed her and Nick Fury a lot, and Phil would follow through on a promise, no matter what his personal feelings towards someone were. It was the right thing to do. “Don’t hesitate to reach out. There aren’t many of us left, so we have to look out for each other.” “Then it’s plan,” Mara returned his smile. Even if it was a plan that wasn’t likely to come together any time soon, it was a plan, and should she have the opportunity to follow through on it she would absolutely remember that they had it and do precisely that. Friends had never come easily for her, but she did have a sense about people and her sense of Coulson was positive. “I’m on the network, so it’s not too difficult to get ahold of me most of the time,” she nodded. Missions in the middle of the Jungle notwithstanding. She turned to regard him and tilted her head thoughtfully. “The same goes for you,” she offered. He was right - they all needed to look out for each other. And while Mara was primarily looking out for Nick Fury at the moment, whether he knew that or not, it didn’t mean she wasn’t willing and able to help other former SHIELD agents. She was certainly willing. “We all need someone to look out for us from time to time. It looks like you’ve got a decent team -- well, now. But if you ever find yourself somewhere you need an extra hand, or a lightsaber,” her lips turned up in a half grin. “You can give me a call.” “I’d be stupid to pass up a lightsaber,” Phil commented lightly, “as long as it’s wielded by the right kind of person.” He’d seen those movies, and he knew how dangerous it could be in the wrong hands. Mara, he could tell, was the right kind of person. He wanted to tell her to take care of Nick Fury, since he couldn’t. He wanted to tell her to look out for him. He suspected she would, regardless of what he told her. They both needed people around them that they could count on. Phil had that now, with his team, and he believed they were stronger because of what they’d all been through together. All they needed was for Fitz to recover, and they’d be whole again. He glanced over his shoulder quickly. He should probably check in with his team. “As much as I’d love to keep putting the real world off…” He didn’t, really. They had a job to do, and the sooner the military let them off the hook, the sooner they could get back to what they did best. He used to wish for vacation time, but that time had passed, now. The best vacation he could offer now was several days pool-side at a cheap motel in Los Angeles. “Thank you, again. For everything.” Phil wasn’t going to forget any time soon. Mara nodded, her own gaze moving to the plane she and Nick had arrived in. She probably ought to be getting it ready for them to get back to the real world as well. Not that it really felt much like she’d lived in the real world for the past few weeks. It had been so completely not normal from what had come before, that despite the fact that they were doing very real work that was very desperately needed, it all felt a little surreal. “Take care,” Mara said softly offering Coulson a smile and a nod before turning to head back into the real world. |