Willow Rosenberg (themagics) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2014-03-13 19:27:00 |
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The taxi ride was not as peaceful as Willow had hoped. Instead of meditating and focusing on her breathing (mostly so she didn’t pass out) she was given the opportunity to just sit back and give her full attention over to the live feed of Tara’s network post – and everyone who decided to respond. At first she’d been infuriated with Johanna, but then realized that she wanted to be hated by Jessica only furthered to confuse Willow and finally made her calm down and put her phone away. Dawn was right, embrace the wig and just let it go, because there was nothing that was going to keep Willow from her internal fits right now anyway. Even with the application closed and her phone tucked away in the hip pocket of her black jeans she couldn’t help but let the conversations roll around in her mind and intensify the feelings she couldn’t seem to keep held back or even give names to. That was good, maybe? Emotional breakdown in a taxi meant she wouldn’t have one in front of Tara, right? That theory seemed to seem less and less likely the closer she came to the Tower. Naturally fidgety; she couldn’t seem to sit still. Fingers drummed against her thighs, pressed into one another, she looked from one direction to the other as if checking she wasn’t being followed, and at least three times caught the driver’s eyes in the rearview mirror – he obviously thought she was crazy. By the time the taxi pulled up along the curb of the Tower Willow practically jumped out of the car, handing cash over to the driver without paying attention and bidding him to keep a rather large tip in change. It wasn’t until she was in the elevator heading up to the twentieth floor where Tara now resided that Willow became still – mostly because she couldn’t think. She felt blank and yet still nervous. She’d gone through so much to forgive herself over Tara’s death and her subsequent actions (including almost killing Kennedy), telling herself that no matter what she’d never pull Tara from heaven – it was selfish, to now have her in the same building just seemed…she had no words. The mentality followed her as she grew closer and closer to Tara’s apartment door. She could remember the same sort of walk through the dorms to Tara’s place before they'd moved in together – each step had been so light and full of promise. So much had changed and Willow couldn’t tell if it was good or bad anymore. She stood at the door not knowing if she should knock or just walk in, she wanted to just walk in, but instead she fumbled with her hands momentarily before finally knocking softly and taking a step back. Her eyes darting to the floor as she waited. |